My boyfriend refuses to divulge about his past relationships, he won't even answer simple questions like how long have been his longest relationship. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

What should i do? So it's a new relationship (3 months), in the beginning when he used to change the topic when it comes to our past I didn't notice anything, but he made sure that he knew everything about my past (including my body count and how long my relationships were) in the beginning of our relationship. But when I ask something he'd snap and tell me "I don't wanna talk about my past" so I have no idea about his past relationships , and recently I asked a simple question like "how long has your longest relationship been?" To which he said "don't ask me this, I don't want to answer" . This got me really confused. Am I in the wrong?

[ohsheeT]

Can't force him and there has to be a reason why he won't tell you anything

Maybe he's never been in a relationship before

I wouldn't worry about things too much I would worry about or I would think about you are in the relationship with him right now and that's all that matters right in time maybe he'll tell you maybe not maybe it was a bad experience for him and he doesn't want to think about it

But right now the only relationship that he's in is the one with you so make it work

[abc3643]

State the obvious clearly like this:

"The fact that you are not discussing your past with me means that you do not trust me and do not know me very well. You are afraid of my reacting badly to the truth. That may happen. It may not. However, as long as you keep your past hidden, my trust in you is fading which means this relationship is doomed to die. In that case, I am moving on because I am not going to waste my time, efforts, and emotions on a dying relationship that cannot succeed."

[EmyyWolf]

You should have never spoke about your past. He needs to tell you first and then you tell him.

😆😆😆😆 wow you LOST by telling him everything about you. Now the ball is in his court. He can choose to tell you or never tell you.

I would take a break from the relationship, and say. I told you everything about me. I find it unfair and absurd that you will tell me nothing. Until you spit it out. This is over. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[IslaTheWitch]

There will be a moment when you both must decide the relationship's future. Some people think it's a no-go if they don't know their partner's past. And it's their right to do so.

I personally don't care. I learned how to speak about my past but understand if someone doesn't want to.

So you have to make up your mind and share your decision with your boyfriend.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why are you still with him? It sounds like his past contains an embarrassing secret.

[blueonblack22]

Because the past is the past. There is no benefit of you knowing about his past unless it was something violent or criminal happened (and you can easily look that up online).

Subconsciously you are testing him and looking for an excuse to get rid of him. You don’t realize it but you are really are looking for problems. Searching for any red flag possible

Your new boyfriend is smart to keep his mouth shut by the way. Also if you are going to be this paranoid maybe that says more about you.

[Akothee005]

You are not in the wrong for trying to know him more because you are no stranger to him and you already shared your story with him so I don't think it would be a bad idea for him to share his with you unless he doesn't take you serious and not planning on staying long with you.

[DannyUk2017]

I don't understand people that like to stirr the 💩, and expect it not to smell...🤦‍♂️
If you're with him and viceversa Why don't you enjoy your time, and leave it at that! Just look for the Future, always the Past will Fuck up the present/future Relationship.🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[virtue2332]

Why does his past concern you solo much. It obviously is a topic he doesn't wish to speak about but you insist. What if he wanted to know every detail of something you either didn't want to talk about or just considered it unnecessary or problematic. What if it was the love of his life that tragically died in his arms. You need to respect peoples right to privacy as you would want someone to respect your right to be private about something that happened in the past that didn't involve you.

[Joshydavid25]

Well you guys are still very new, so I don't think you need to worry much about it unless it affects your relationship.. Maybe to him the past is the past, or maybe something hapo that he chooses not to wanna remember.. Either way just enjoy your relationship with him.. Maybe sometime in the future he'll wanna tell..

[petitedollbabee]

You’re asking really basic questions that anyone would ask - there’s no reason for him not to answer unless he’s got something to hide. Seems super shady. I’d be cautious..

[NotInterestedSorry]

Not necessarily. What happens if he was someone who experienced abuse. Men experience abuse including being raped. We also don't know how she is going about asking him these questions. Maybe she is coming across quite bitchy and pushy.

[Anonymous]

Stop asking him. If someone is there saying they don't want to talk about something, respect their wishes. If you back off and don't pressure him, he might one day open up. Maybe his past is painful for him to talk about

[Lliam]

What's bullshit is that he wanted to know all about your past but won't be honest about his.

He's a bully and a dishonest hypocrite. A bad guy. Run away.

[FreyaRed]

"What should I do?"

Stop asking

[sheikalana]

Stop being nosy is none of your business. You should focus on your relationship with him instead of asking about his past relationships.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't trust him if he can’t talk about stuff like that but knows your history, what’s he hiding? Sounds like no trust in your relationship if you can’t talk to each other about anything, it’s not something I would ever hide

[Massageman]

Flip a coin. It's not necessarily your business, but if he has nothing to hide and wants to further your relationship, he should open up.

[exitseven]

I was like that with my first real girlfriend. I just did not like talking about it

[DextroShade]

He is ashamed of something, my guess is he either did some gay shit, fucked underage girls, or you are his first.

[Surely]

If nothing seems to be haunting him from the past. You should be looking ahead. If you plan on keeping him around

[ThrillSeeker01]

That's like a lack of trust in you. For me that's a deal breaker. Trust is huge in a relationship.

[jahaims]

Why is he your boyfriend before you had those discussions

[LazerBean]

Yikes, it's that bad. Dump time

[slatyb]

No, that's pretty weird.