Seems that cheating is no big deal anymore, everybody's doing it. It's just so casual. True or not true?

[sage2021]

I am getting the impression that everyone thinks it's no big deal. When I saw my boyfriend letting my helper lady take him away from me when she's married, that clinched it with me. I didn't actually see them, but there are empty apartments where I live and she works here helping elderly people with chores. They easily used one of the empty apartments here. She's still helping me but she makes me sick because I know she was with him. She lied about it. But when he died, gobs of her fell out for months. She's bald in an area on top and her side.

Updates

5 mo

Ya know, a lot of you could be making some money for what you're doing. It's a shame you do it willingly and for free I might add.

[Finchie40]

Yea nowadays it seems it is , after my divorce from my cheating ex wife that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with , the mother of my children , I felt things have changed since I was single back then. When I finally started entering back into that dating world. I have been in complete shock on how selfish people have become , I ended up having sex with married women, that I didn’t know were married , I ended up meeting women that I knew were married or already in a relationship that were out with their girlfriends , that wanted to cheat on their partners with me , I witnessed so many people cheating left and right , when I was going out to the bars and clubs with friends , it was like WTF is wrong with people? What happened to staying loving and loyal to your partner? I honestly blame social media for a lot of the nonsense that occurs in relationships today , brainwashing people to be more selfish and only caring about themselves. Having multiple options to choose from , people never admitting they are wrong , it’s always someone else’s fault. This society has gone to hell in a hand basket for sure. People
Clearly need to open the Bible because people are so lost on the foundation of a relationship. I am not saying I am perfect what so ever , and I am not going to force religion on you , but people need to open their eyes Me personally can easily admit when I am wrong that’s one thing I learned from my experiences in life , like I said I am not perfect but I know I am pretty wise when it comes to right or wrong , So I no longer jump into a relationship with a girl , mainly for all these reasons , I will not commit to a girl that is selfish , that is my number 1 , if she is selfish someone else can have her , if she doesn’t have good morals that doesn’t understand what it means to be in a committed relationship , so Leone else can have her , If she cheats on me it’s over , no second chances , My ex is still trying to get me back and I just laugh , am not going to stay faithful to a girl, that can’t stay faithful to me period , She might get me in bed , but she won’t keep me For the long haul , thanks for a good time but not a long time. once I see a girls ‘ true colors that’s usually my answer to continue seeing her or leave her Love does not grow with selfishness , if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner, don’t expect them to remove selfishness for you. It’s not about who is right or wrong , it’s about choosing each other over everyone else. Making each other your top priority , over everyone else. , setting boundaries that you both follow , not the other way around. If I am not her top priority , she will not be mine , it needs to go both ways , sadly most people today only see things their way , and if they don’t get their way , they run to someone else. That someone else can have them , they did me a f’ing favor is how I look at it , yes it hurts big time having your heart shit on by someone that was taking you for granted , but guess what , that other person can have them , Good luck with that shit. I no longer chase after a girl thinking Love will save the day , if someone actually loved you , they wouldn’t be running , Let them go and move on , have dignity and respect for yourself because they didn’t have dignity and respect for you , they should mean nothing to you, if they truly loved you they wouldn’t of cheated or left you on the first place. Never settle for someone that treats you like an option , if you want to use me for sex , be honest I will probably use you for sex as well , but be honest about it , People have a hard time being honest and that’s what the problem is , in this society Learn to be honest and Learn to remove selfishness out of yourselves and you will have a way better chance at finding true love , Kick all the selfish assholes aside they will never find true love

[sage2021]

@Finchie49
I read your opinion and I agree with you 100%. We are in the midst of a spiritual warfare and the 😈 devil seems to be winning the soles.
People don't realize that this is not a dress rehearsal in life. We each get one chance to do it right. They are all selfish and cocky right now, but it's no secret, we all are going to due one day. Then they will pay for what they did in this life including the lies, the cheating, etc. it's up to them.
I wrote the same thing as you did that I blame social media for all of what's wrong with love and relationships these days.
And what is the newest thing is the guy doesn't want to have sex with her sexual organs. Oh no, he wants to do it in her butt.
I say to go, where no man has gone before! Ewww!

[Daniela1982]

You are religious yet do not follow the Lord. And yes, it seems to be that culture anymore. I think sometime in the near future marriage will be a thing of the past and no longer done. But it has already been profaned by gay marriage. God made marriage to between a man and woman, and he blesses those who keep their vows.

[sage2021]

@Danelia
Not sure if your opinion was aimed at me or Finchie. I have never cheated and never wanted to.
When you answer a question here, there is a certain way the it will go to the user. You have to put the @first then the user's username in the reply are. Otherwise they get all mixed up and then people won't receive your reply. Thank you.

[Daniela1982]

Sorry, I need to tag people so they know who I am talking about. It was the Finch. I have noticed that I can answer right below someone's comment and it winds up clear at the bottom and no one knows who I am talking to, not even me. 😋

[sage2021]

@Daneila
I am spiritual not religious. I am not on my way to hell as I have always been a God fearing woman.
Just because two people live together in the same bed doesn't mean they are having any sex.

[Daniela1982]

@sage2021 That was not Finchie's position though. He's been around the block quite a few times it sounds like.

[genericname85]

i disagree. it is a big deal and not everyobody is doing it. it's just that you don't hear the stories "of the person who never cheated" on social media. cause that doesn't gain attention and outrage. it has no shock value.

[coachTanthony]

It's casual within a casual relationship sure. There just seem to be more casual relationships masquerading as serious ones.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

No cheating here😊. Haven't heard any rumours in the neighborhood either. Pretty darn sure my sweet pea is not cheating either 🥰.

i'm very sorry that you had to witness this occurring to you. I do suspect it's easier these days with technology and the prevalence of hook up society

[sage2021]

@MiddleAgedClimbee
Nope! This kid is done with all of it! I've been single most of my life. I've been cheated on in my first marriage, I've had it with guys who need pot just to live, so I was tired of being married to a chemicalized person, now the last one died on me. Done!

[Dargil]

They are all liars. Of course it is a big deal. They just suffer in silence because it is the trendy way to be. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal. It is bad just like back biting a close friend. My HS girlfriend cheated on me, ongoing while I was away at school, and I got wind of it and who it was. I picked her up for a date and directly dropped her off at the place where he lived. In the rain. I didn't care of she had her phone or if he was even home. GTFO!
Out you go! Show cheaters the door.

[sawno]

I think its a big deal to many people me included, wouldn't ever do it and wouldn't tolerate it being done to me.

[sheikalana]

I cannot speak for other people but infidelity would be a big deal for me and my husband. Is not something that we could tolerate and is not something that we’ve done or plan doing.

[7Phoenix7]

No it's a big deal. What made you think he cheated with her, though?

[sage2021]

@7Phoenix7
When she would come over to deliver our groceries, she would stay with him at the door laughing together. Even if I was sitting in the living room - she wouldn't even say hello to me or ask how I was. He always following her after the groceries were dropped off.
He used to call her kiddo and after a while he started calling her "My dear". And she quit talking to me. She worked for me. I hired her years ago before they even met. They were always laughing at the front door together.
One night I had to stay at a motel over night so they could spray for bugs in my apt. He stayed behind to help and guess was here with him? I think that was one of the times they had sex of some kind.
She kept lying to me that he wasn't her type, she only talked to him a couple of times, etc.
I'm really sorry that our relationship had to end because of her. But their plans to be in a relationship together failed to happen because he died the day he was thinking of moving out.

[7Phoenix7]

Wow, I'm sorry you had to experience that. Even though there was no solid evidence, there was a big possibility. I hope you are okay.

[sage2021]

@7Phoenix7
Just the way they acted together and how he turned against me after they got to know each other. She lied to me and said she only talked to him a few times. She lies too.
He was never mean to me it disrespectful towards me until they hooked up. Then it's like in one day he started being snotty with me and started yelling at me - all which he had never ever treated me that way since I knew him for 7 years until he died in September.
To answer if I am okay - some days I think I will be okay. But here I am up at 2:00 am missing him and crying. It's hard to sleep in our bed because he's not there on his side anymore. So, I get up and GaG. Thank you for being here 🙂

[7Phoenix7]

Oh, I remember now. You commented on another post. I know it's hard, I'm wishing you peace. 🩷

[sage2021]

@7Phoenux7
Thank you for hanging in there with all of my writing. I appreciate it 🙂

[7Phoenix7]

Lol I don't mind at all, I could relate to some of the things you experienced 🙂 you can even message me anytime to talk.

[Juxtapose]

Condemn cheaters even if it doesn't make you popular. I have no respect for these lowlife scum.

[JacobJordan]

I guess that depends on where you are in the world. in the west yeah cheating is not a big deal for most people. in most of the rest of the world cheating is horrible and some countries have very very strong punishments for people that cheat.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Are we just going to blow right through "But when he died, gobs of her fell out for months."?

Gobs of what? Where did they fall out? Why did he have gobs there? Did she want them back?

[Carina0]

People really normalized it but definitely I'm not okay with it. If you're gonna cheat what's the point of being in a relationship

[Unit1]

Cheating is as rampant as is smoking and vaping and that ain't good.

Screw cheaters.

[Yannae]

If I go on media and search cheating then I am lead to believe that it's indeed being normalized. I hope that the online is just lying and creating drama.

[sage2021]

@Yannae
I'm afraid that's not the case. From reading the answers and looking at tons of questions on here about cheating it seems to be the norm now.

[Yannae]

My group thinks lowly of cheating, which is probably why I think this way. I really hope it's not as common as you say. That doesn't sound like a bright future.

[Anonymous]

Women don't like good guys , at least when they are young. They term them derogatory , pretentious and fake and go for bad boys who are cool with more resources. Then they try to settle with someone with value later. It's that those guys are learning to see the truth and playing the fields as bad guys.

Men generally have no control of initial authorization of dates. In dating world cheating men are way more valuable and get sex from women.

[Radiate143]

I really feel this way. It's so sad. It's like you ain't cool if you aren't making a fool of someone behind their back.

[sage2021]

@Radiate143
So I guess people make fun of you behind your back too.
I'm laughing at you right now because you are a fool.

[Radiate143]

I'm so glad you sre entertained.

[LiamJHayden]

For many yes. For me it is a "one and done."

[MissStrawberry912]

Sadly it is very common…. But I just wanna be with my only and forever person.

[overthinkergirl]

for me cheating is a big deal and not something we should normalize. but this world is kinda crazy

[LazerBean]

It's just the normal progression of a promiscuous society.

[sage2021]

@LazerBean
I can see you are getting your love lessons from social media because you wouldn't have thought of this by yourself. And I believe you are totally wrong by the way.
If what you believe to be true, then why are so many people on her and dating sites looking for the right person and want to get married?
I can see how your life is going to turn out 👎

[LazerBean]

Hoes are still looking to date and get married because hoes don't know that marriage and dating only works out well for non promiscuous people. Hence why you ended up in that dumb hoe situation. My life is awesome because I'm not a hoe, therefore I don't have those problems like you do. Thanks tho

[lightbulb27]

False.

It's always been around. not everyone is doing that. It may be a regional phenomina?

[Sasha0426]

Of course people have been cheating since the beginning of time. But, it’s gotten worse.

[lightbulb27]

Makes sense. Opportunities at work increased, enforcement of value standards decreased.

[RealMarek]

I won’t cheat and I trust that my girlfriend will not cheat. Sounds like it is time for a new helper.

[sage2021]

@RealMarek
He died so that problem is solved! 💔 Ahh, too bad, so sad. 🤣😂

[RealMarek]

I hope you are gradually finding peace.

[sage2021]

@RealMarek
I would have peace, but the chick that works for me in my apartment was scheming on my boyfriend from the get go. We used to have nice conversations until she decided I was in the way. She's been a witch to me ever since. I've always been nice to hear as I have been with all the caregivers we've ever hired.
So, now I don't get peace. And he stole over 5 grand for me and I know he gave it to her because she used to not have any money. Now she flew to Ohio for Thanksgiving, wears new clothes, is cutting her hours back. So there's that too.
But thank you for your kind words. They always help! 🌺

[RealMarek]

So what I don’t get is why you keep this caregiver around? Can you lay her off so she’s not always there being a witch and being a constant reminder of troubles?

[sage2021]

@RealMarek
I don't know anyone where I live. I wouldn't even know how to find anyone. I live in a town that I am not used to at all. Nothing is familiar to me here. I met my boyfriend here in my apartment building and met her here while he moved away for three years. She works for more people here too. That's how the two of them met. He came back to me after being gone for 3 years. That's how they met - at my front door when she was delivering the groceries. He would see her all the time around here. He used to call her Kiddo, then it changed to "My Dear". There was nothing I could do about them. And now I am all alone with no family. 😢

[RealMarek]

That’s difficult, no question about it.