Guys, if your girlfriend was pregnant and was going to have an abortion, would you want to know?

Question

I'm pregnant and I don't want to tell my boyfriend because I don't want him to feel the burden also. Is it wrong to keep this a secret?

Sugardrop_22 · Accepted Answer

I'm not a guy, but... Personally I think you should tell him. Your a good girlfriend for thinking of his feelings before telling him though. ik you want to not hurt him, and ik you think your putting this burden on him, but i think it would hurt him more to have to know his girlfriend went through this traumatic event alone and he couldn't help/didn't know/ didn't comfort you. and i think it would hurt more to know his girlfriend didn't tell him something so big that he was a part of.

Now saying this, I think the girl should ALWAYS tell the boy if she's pregnant w his kid. But i don't believe having a abortion without the fathers consent should be illegal. I think they should always notify the father, just bc it's a 2 person thing. but i don't think they should not be able to get it bc the boy said "no".

In the end, it's your choice. And it will affect your life either way. He might want the baby, he might not, he might be totally fine w you not telling him, but probably not. In the end you need to think long and hard and decide if it's worth risking the chance of your relationship ending bc of the secret.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I have never been in such situation and my advice might not be very useful, I’ll tell you what I feel is right.

Such major decisions are better discussed with the partner - he is the involved party and that’s the new life you BOTH created.

You shouldn’t have to be alone making such a decision.

Maybe your boyfriend and you can decide in favor of a different outcome?

I am very sorry you are facing such situation, I can only imagine how stressful, scary and traumatizing it is for you.

Stay safe and tell it to your partner, before you make a final decision, hear his thoughts too.

I can’t tell you what I would or wouldn’t do in your shoes, as I have never been in a similar situation, I can only tell you that whatever you decide, telling your partner will only help.

I am not here to judge you or your decisions.

I hope whatever you decide, you’ll be fine…

Take care, whatever you decide, it should be both of your decision, you shouldn’t have to carry this “burden” on your shoulders.

What if he is very supportive and you can work this situation out in a much better way?

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I'd want to know, it's wrong to keep a secret... because it isn't only your child.

you may not be thinking right... I'd reconsider. The whole point of all of this... since around 13 years old... is to make offspring. This is life starting. It's a big deal, it's work, but it's the point of life for quite some time. Who knows if you get another chance.

I've been around people having babies and raising kids. It's a part of life, it's a good thing. Yes, it's work and you want support. I hope your boyfriend is there for you.

I wish you all the best in your life.

BadApple69 · Accepted Answer

This is a hard one… my heart goes out to you. The decision you are making isn’t an easy decision and to inform your boyfriend could only make it harder. As a man I WOULD want to know but I would also want to keep the baby.
Do I think a relationship based on lies is a good relationship…. No I don’t.
So this won’t be easy for you.
My thoughts… tell him. It’ll make it harder for you and him but going through hard times honestly is better then easy times living a lie.

RoseySarah · Answer

My sister went through that twice and my only question is he a long term boyfriend or just a summer fling?

If it's long term sooner or later it's going to come out.

Short term I guess no reason to tell him just get a UTI 😔 till your ready for sex again some day.

Avicenna · Answer

That is something you should not keep from your partner

DaveJord · Answer

Unless there was a way to stop her, I would rather not know.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

In general he, as a father, should know and should be part of decision making process.

But I assume you have your reasons for abortion and you probably want to avoid the argument if he wanted to keep the child.

I would base my decision on the relationship itself. If it's a long-term relationship with some commitment I wouldn't want to break his trust. And I would talk to him.

If it's something temporary... the decision is yours but keep in mind possible consequences and if you are ready to bear them.

Think it over carefully

PetLover24 · Answer

Your behavior speaks volumes of the poor relationship you have with your boyfriend.

Boy/girlfriend relationships that are decent, respectful & healthy share this information without hassle. You write as if sparing his feelings, but it'd be worse if he finds out.

Lionman95 · Answer

Yes because as a guy I helped in the creation. I want to know if I was your boyfriend I would see an issue if you did it behind my back and it would hurt me more since I would assume you think you can´t trust me with that. That would make question the relationship since to me trust is an important fundament of love.

tzdc21 · Answer

YES it's wrong! Because it's his child too. Many men have been heartbroken because they found out they had the opportunity to be a dad but the girlfriend and/or wife took an abortion behind his back and ended that opportunity before he could even know that she was pregnant. I get that it's your body but he should have a right to know that you're pregnant with his child. Not telling is f@cked up.

JacobJordan · Answer

if we did the deed and she took it upon herself to terminate it would also be the end of our relationship. I would never be with a woman who uses abortion as a means of birth control. if I or my wife didn't want kids we wouldn't have been intimate. this type of thing worked for a very very long time

Surely · Answer

If there would be a chance of you two ever getting married. Then I would think that he should have a say in it. Maybe just move the wedding up a little bit.
After all. That baby is as much his as it is yours. I know that you will be the one to nurture it until in is born. So, let your conscious be your guide!

Raaj4you · Answer

Obviously yes, I want to know the status of our baby. Is she going to keep the baby or not? If not when she is going to abort? She can't keep it a secret, we made that baby together, Right? She might be accidentally pregnant but that's still our baby.

FenixG45 · Answer

As one who has been in your position twice before. TELL HIM! INVOLVE HIM!

20 ya my Ex-wife and 30 ya my girlfriend both had abortions, and NEVER told me until after it was ALL over.
I NEVER forgave them for NOT involving me! I was NEVER given the opportunity to grieve! It is The GREATEST SADNESS & PAIN of my life, and I STILL cry for my lost children!

Give him the chance to be involved and grieve!

Miristheiss · Answer

It is 100% evil to hide this from a partner. It should be an automatic break up if the truth comes out years later a mate was pregnant and killed his child without even telling him.

You are playing a dangerous game.

genericname85 · Answer

i think having an abortion without the approval of the father should be illegal. yes it's your body. but it's your child. imagine someone just killed your child without asking you.

HawkPerception · Answer

Absolutely let him know. It's your decision at the end of the day, but he should definitely be involved and know what's going on. I would really appreciate if my partner let me know.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

If my girlfriend had an abortion without telling me I would be both devastated and betrayed. He had a part in creating that life, you need to discuss this with him.

EnglishArtsteacher · Answer

If I'm the one who got her pregnant, yes, I would want to know if she's going to have an abortion.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Yes, and if my hypothetical girlfriend got one without telling me I would find out and I would immediately break up with her. If we were married, I would file for divorce immediately.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I think you should tell him, so at least he knows. He might get mad about your decision though.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

I'd want to know. It's incredibly selfish to not tell him. He deserves the right to decide if he would want to be with someone who would abort his child.

TomMarks · Answer

I would at least want to know. It would be my baby she is aboarting, no matter how you feel on a lot of things about that, the guy at least should know.

exitseven · Answer

I would want to know. Maybe there could be something else we could do instead of ending a life.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Yes it's wrong. Unless he's abusive or some other reason like that.

Anonymous · Answer

It is your body, your choice.

Anonymous · Answer

Unless you are worried about him trying to talk you out of the abortion, you should tell him. Why shouldn't he have the right to know?

LiamJHayden · Answer

I would want to know because I am congenitally sterile, so if she ended up pregnant she cheated.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course I would want to know? How is this even a question? I think it's disgusting that it's even legal to not notify the father.

Anonymous · Answer

You have decided to kill his baby (yes, it's HIS baby, too) without telling him? If it was me, I would hate you for the remainder of my life.

Anonymous · Answer

That's horrible, he has a right to know. It would kill me to find out my child was growing inside her and she didn't have the decency to even tell me.

Anonymous · Answer

I assume you don't want to be a mom at this point. How long have you been together? Are you guys in a serious relationship heading towards marriage? What state do you live in?

butterly248 · Answer

Yeah, I would. I told my boyfriend and we came to the decision together

jahaims · Answer

If my girlfriend got an abortion without talking to me I won't dump her.

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

Dont you feel like he should have a right to know?

Wood3nWhal3 · Answer

Should be a mutual decision. Yes it's in your body but who put it there?

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

DEFINITELY WOULD NOT WANT TO KNOW

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, and I will make sure he goes to prison for murdering my son.

aceleon · Answer

he should know. he might want the kid.

bededazzle · Answer

um yeah that seems kind of important

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Yes. I’d want to be able to support her.

Anonymous · Answer

No, im anti abortion in all cases

Amur8711 · Answer

Yes, in my opinion its wrong to keep a secret

thor_erikson · Answer

you should tell him for sure

horny75 · Answer

Yes I would like to know

Anonymous · Answer

Just fucking abort it the damn clump of cells.

Anonymous · Answer

No. It’s your body and your pregnancy

riverrat3 · Answer

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Guys, if your girlfriend was pregnant and was going to have an abortion, would you want to know?

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Guys, if your girlfriend was pregnant and was going to have an abortion, would you want to know?

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