Guys, if your girlfriend was pregnant and was going to have an abortion, would you want to know?

[Katie_4567]

I'm pregnant and I don't want to tell my boyfriend because I don't want him to feel the burden also. Is it wrong to keep this a secret?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have never been in such situation and my advice might not be very useful, I’ll tell you what I feel is right.

Such major decisions are better discussed with the partner - he is the involved party and that’s the new life you BOTH created.

You shouldn’t have to be alone making such a decision.

Maybe your boyfriend and you can decide in favor of a different outcome?

I am very sorry you are facing such situation, I can only imagine how stressful, scary and traumatizing it is for you.

Stay safe and tell it to your partner, before you make a final decision, hear his thoughts too.

I can’t tell you what I would or wouldn’t do in your shoes, as I have never been in a similar situation, I can only tell you that whatever you decide, telling your partner will only help.

I am not here to judge you or your decisions.

I hope whatever you decide, you’ll be fine…

Take care, whatever you decide, it should be both of your decision, you shouldn’t have to carry this “burden” on your shoulders.

What if he is very supportive and you can work this situation out in a much better way?

[wajoge86899]

Yes, and I will make sure he goes to prison for murdering my son.

[loveslongnails]

@wajoge86899 Not in my state you won't.

[wajoge86899]

I'll be forced to take the law into my own hands then.

[loveslongnails]

@wajoge86899 What law? It's not against the law in my state. It might be against the law in your head, but that's irrelevant. What are you going to do, go to abortion clinics in states where it's legal and start killing people?

[wajoge86899]

Yes.

[loveslongnails]

@wajoge86899 C'mon then. Leave your name here ahead of time so we don't have to waste time or effort finding you and sending you to prison, tough guy.

[wajoge86899]

Later.

[Sugardrop_22]

I'm not a guy, but... Personally I think you should tell him. Your a good girlfriend for thinking of his feelings before telling him though. ik you want to not hurt him, and ik you think your putting this burden on him, but i think it would hurt him more to have to know his girlfriend went through this traumatic event alone and he couldn't help/didn't know/ didn't comfort you. and i think it would hurt more to know his girlfriend didn't tell him something so big that he was a part of.


Now saying this, I think the girl should ALWAYS tell the boy if she's pregnant w his kid. But i don't believe having a abortion without the fathers consent should be illegal. I think they should always notify the father, just bc it's a 2 person thing. but i don't think they should not be able to get it bc the boy said "no".


In the end, it's your choice. And it will affect your life either way. He might want the baby, he might not, he might be totally fine w you not telling him, but probably not. In the end you need to think long and hard and decide if it's worth risking the chance of your relationship ending bc of the secret.

[lightbulb27]

I'd want to know, it's wrong to keep a secret... because it isn't only your child.

you may not be thinking right... I'd reconsider. The whole point of all of this... since around 13 years old... is to make offspring. This is life starting. It's a big deal, it's work, but it's the point of life for quite some time. Who knows if you get another chance.

I've been around people having babies and raising kids. It's a part of life, it's a good thing. Yes, it's work and you want support. I hope your boyfriend is there for you.

I wish you all the best in your life.

[BadApple69]

This is a hard one… my heart goes out to you. The decision you are making isn’t an easy decision and to inform your boyfriend could only make it harder. As a man I WOULD want to know but I would also want to keep the baby.
Do I think a relationship based on lies is a good relationship…. No I don’t.
So this won’t be easy for you.
My thoughts… tell him. It’ll make it harder for you and him but going through hard times honestly is better then easy times living a lie.

[RoseySarah]

My sister went through that twice and my only question is he a long term boyfriend or just a summer fling?

If it's long term sooner or later it's going to come out.

Short term I guess no reason to tell him just get a UTI 😔 till your ready for sex again some day.

[exitseven]

does your sister know whare babies come from?

[RoseySarah]

@exitseven she does her exes don't! Most people don't get that sex makes babies with pleasure

[exitseven]

Damn, you kids should have learned sex from the older kids in the neighborhood like I did instead of a lame sex Ed class where they push gay sex and transgender ism.

[RoseySarah]

@exitseven ew yeah none of that was even in sex ed! Wrong gen dummy!
Mine was they shoved condoms down your throat when they should have pushed the pill!

[exitseven]

I worked in a K-12 school system 20 years ago. In the nurse's office there was a big basket filled with condoms on a table, free for the taking

[loveslongnails]

@exitseven " sex Ed class where they push gay sex and transgender ISM" ... Wtf is transgender "ISM", and when's the last time you observed a sex ed class in ANY school ANY where? By the way, I'm not sure you realize that when gays have sex with one another, no one gets pregnant? LMAO

[BoopBoopBeep]

@roseysarah Ugh... not sure where you live, but yes, most people DO get that sex makes babies

[loveslongnails]

@exitseven Twenty years ago you could get a safe, legal abortion in every state. Not today. Twenty years ago, you didn't have elected officials introducing legislation to BAN contraceptives altogether.

[exitseven]

@loveslongnails at least you can travel to a state to get one. Years ago you could not do that

[RoseySarah]

Nope they think they can have sex and get away with not getting pregnant. Most newly pregnant er visits go that way!

[loveslongnails]

Ah, so you're asserting that a significant number of women use abortion as birth control? That BS has been debunked for a long time. It's nothing but a "pro-birther" talking point with no data to support it.

[Avicenna]

That is something you should not keep from your partner

[DaveJord]

Unless there was a way to stop her, I would rather not know.

[IslaTheWitch]

In general he, as a father, should know and should be part of decision making process.

But I assume you have your reasons for abortion and you probably want to avoid the argument if he wanted to keep the child.

I would base my decision on the relationship itself. If it's a long-term relationship with some commitment I wouldn't want to break his trust. And I would talk to him.

If it's something temporary... the decision is yours but keep in mind possible consequences and if you are ready to bear them.

Think it over carefully

[PetLover24]

Your behavior speaks volumes of the poor relationship you have with your boyfriend.

Boy/girlfriend relationships that are decent, respectful & healthy share this information without hassle. You write as if sparing his feelings, but it'd be worse if he finds out.

[Lionman95]

Yes because as a guy I helped in the creation. I want to know if I was your boyfriend I would see an issue if you did it behind my back and it would hurt me more since I would assume you think you can´t trust me with that. That would make question the relationship since to me trust is an important fundament of love.

[tzdc21]

YES it's wrong! Because it's his child too. Many men have been heartbroken because they found out they had the opportunity to be a dad but the girlfriend and/or wife took an abortion behind his back and ended that opportunity before he could even know that she was pregnant. I get that it's your body but he should have a right to know that you're pregnant with his child. Not telling is f@cked up.

[JacobJordan]

if we did the deed and she took it upon herself to terminate it would also be the end of our relationship. I would never be with a woman who uses abortion as a means of birth control. if I or my wife didn't want kids we wouldn't have been intimate. this type of thing worked for a very very long time

[Surely]

If there would be a chance of you two ever getting married. Then I would think that he should have a say in it. Maybe just move the wedding up a little bit.
After all. That baby is as much his as it is yours. I know that you will be the one to nurture it until in is born. So, let your conscious be your guide!

[Raaj4you]

Obviously yes, I want to know the status of our baby. Is she going to keep the baby or not? If not when she is going to abort? She can't keep it a secret, we made that baby together, Right? She might be accidentally pregnant but that's still our baby.

[FenixG45]

As one who has been in your position twice before. TELL HIM! INVOLVE HIM!

20 ya my Ex-wife and 30 ya my girlfriend both had abortions, and NEVER told me until after it was ALL over.
I NEVER forgave them for NOT involving me! I was NEVER given the opportunity to grieve! It is The GREATEST SADNESS & PAIN of my life, and I STILL cry for my lost children!

Give him the chance to be involved and grieve!

[Miristheiss]

It is 100% evil to hide this from a partner. It should be an automatic break up if the truth comes out years later a mate was pregnant and killed his child without even telling him.

You are playing a dangerous game.

[genericname85]

i think having an abortion without the approval of the father should be illegal. yes it's your body. but it's your child. imagine someone just killed your child without asking you.

[genericname85]

does not knowing about someone killing your child make the fact that your child was killed much better?

[DarkWinterNights]

If my girlfriend had an abortion without telling me I would be both devastated and betrayed. He had a part in creating that life, you need to discuss this with him.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

If I'm the one who got her pregnant, yes, I would want to know if she's going to have an abortion.

[SolitarySolace]

Yes, and if my hypothetical girlfriend got one without telling me I would find out and I would immediately break up with her. If we were married, I would file for divorce immediately.

[SolitarySolace]

Loss of my money and resources be damned

[sirderpsalot123]

I'd want to know. It's incredibly selfish to not tell him. He deserves the right to decide if he would want to be with someone who would abort his child.

[PeachyPie93]

I think you should tell him, so at least he knows. He might get mad about your decision though.

[HawkPerception]

Absolutely let him know. It's your decision at the end of the day, but he should definitely be involved and know what's going on. I would really appreciate if my partner let me know.

[TomMarks]

I would at least want to know. It would be my baby she is aboarting, no matter how you feel on a lot of things about that, the guy at least should know.