What should you answer when they ask you what you are looking for in a relationship?

Question

simon · Accepted Answer

First off, honesty is key here. It's super important to be clear with yourself and the other person about what you're after. Are you looking for something casual? Or are you in it for the long haul, hoping to find a partner to build a life with? There's no wrong answer, but being upfront can save a lot of misunderstandings down the road.

Now, when it comes to specifics, it's all about what matters most to you. Some people prioritize a sense of humor – they want someone who can make them laugh and lighten up the serious moments. Others might value ambition and drive, looking for a partner who's as career-focused as they are.

For many, emotional availability and communication are huge. And let's not forget trust and loyalty – these are the bedrock of any strong relationship. If you're into the whole hobbies and interests scene, maybe you're looking for someone who shares your love for hiking, cooking, or binge-watching the latest hit series.

But you know what? It's also okay if you're not 100% sure. You might start off craving adventure and excitement, only to find that what you really value is stability and comfort.

So, when someone asks you this question, take a moment to think about what makes you happiest and most fulfilled! :)

smne35 · Accepted Answer

If you are looking for the one and you don't know what your seeking from them then you need to remove yourself from the date scene and search your hearts desires unless you like playing it lose wreckless, you should know already so when your ex that question you can just be honest in your response. No need to give a laundry list of you. Expect this. You want that you want this. You want them to be this. You want them to be that stick to the basics? A good heart, a good person caring the basics we all have our quirks just have to iron them out together. That's all I look for in a woman. Just the basics. She's a good person. Have a good kind heart, honest and caring the rest. As I said you work through it but the basics is your foundation that you build on or from

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

I am looking for someone who is willing to date to with a purpose. Willing to contribute as much as I do. Someone who follow through with the things they say, by their actions. The type of relationship it is or will become all depends on the amount of effort they put into it, because I promise to match that effort ever step of the way.

What I am not looking for is someone that doesn't know what it is they want or are still trying to figure it out.

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

Tell them exactly what you are looking for so you don't waste your time or theirs. No point in lying or playing games. You get what you want by communicating exactly what you want. Cut loose anyone whose wants don't match yours.

My first husband for example, I was looking for a husband who would allow me to be a stay at home mom. I communicated within 2 weeks that I was dating to marry. He said he could agree with that. I said my timeline was within 2-3 years. He agreed with that. I laid down my expectations, and he found all of them agreeable. Then, I told him if he stops being on the same page let me know so I can move on and find someone who wants the same things in life. I didn't want to waste time. He agreed. We were married in less than 2 years. We've been together about 17 years now.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

This is a hard question. I am always honest and say a family - a good husband and a few children. Being a homemaker.

I've tried so many dates with guys and they didn't turn out for me.

After I divorced my first husband, my dating life got really limited - guys just wanted sex from me and we didn't even know each other. So, I sent them on their way. If I did have sex, they wouldn't call again. That took two times of that treatment and never again did I do that. It was like I was a bank and they needed to make a deposit.
I honestly don't know why all of these girls cheat and have sex, sex, sex with different guys. That makes me sick. Two each their own.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You should tell he person either that it is a private matter that you don't want to discuss, or you should tell them what you are looking for? Different people are looking for different things in a partner, so no one else can tell you what your answer should be.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Being accepted and loved the way I am, that usually opens up my heart to become better.

Avicenna · Answer

The truth, whatever it may be

Paris13 · Answer

Trust and No Nudes. lolxxoo

Finchie40 · Answer

Love, trust , honesty, loyalty

FellowTraveler · Answer

This is a topic very close to my life presently. Tell them what you want. That's the only means by which you will discover, or they will discover; what you want in a relationship. In turn, you might get them to reciprocate and reveal what they are looking for in a relationship partner. They can't read your mind, and as such you should disclose at least something to set the stage.

If however - your read at that moment is the other isn't ready to hear that information, like @OlderAndWiser; you can protract that to a latter time. Remember, it takes 2 afterall to make a couple.

Radiate143 · Answer

It's a trap!

Give no specifics. If they are asking right off the bat, they are trying to figure out what acting role they need to play to extract what they want out of you!

Just say cliche platitudes like a loving and supportive partnership. Do not talk about bad stuff that happened in the past. They are building up their arsenal.

Even better, "Hmm, I have to think about that. How about you? What are you looking for?"

Turn it around on them.

He needs to show you what kind of guy he is with consistency, honesty, respect and progression.

Don't hand him the playback girl!!!

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I've never been that comfortable with that question for some reason. The last time someone asked me that was about a week ago by text. I briefly answered the question. Then she texted that in a relationship, she needs a "power dynamic". I asked what specifically she meant by that in regards to dating. (Because it could be interpreted in different ways.) And she never responded.

Anyway it seems that when answering that question, a lot of the time it could go either way. Not like a job interview where you are answering questions related to a job.

PetLover24 · Answer

Amongst intelligent respectable educated people the word "relationship" speaks for itself. It does not need an explanation. To define it - relationship = means committment to each other, no trashy low brow / welfare (man/women) trampish behavior, etc.

Amongst dull witted, poorly educated, trashy low brow / welfare trampish types the word "relationship" needs to be defined because most don't know what a dictionary is.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends of what you actually look for and what are your requirements.

I look for love, stability, honesty, trust and acceptance.

And I know this one is very controversial, but you should look for a friend... and by that I mean that your romantic relationship also must be a friendship. A friendship as strong as you and your BFF. I think that's a good recipe for a good relationship. I know and have heard of tons of people that have stated their relationships as being friends for 10 years and they all have had basically perfect fully functioning relationships

Benjiman19 · Answer

Humourous, smart, good heart, not afraid to show emotion or her smile. Caring, kind. Lookin to explore and loves nature. Hopefully wanting children in the future. Hair or eye color doesn't matter. Maybe a tattoo or two. Not too insecure about herself or appearance. Not too classy but laid back a bit in style. Not too clingy.

ManOnFire · Answer

What should you answer? You should tell them exactly what you're looking for. Are you not sure? Are you hiding it? If so then you're probably not ready for a relationship. It's fine to not know, but not okay to not be honest. You don't want to waste their time, or yours.

SherriMarieValentine · Answer

Be honest. Speak about what worked, didn't work, and what you liked and didn't like about previous relationships. You do not know what will be in the next one, but you know your experience so far.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't.

Because she's either got it or she don't. And if she don't I'm not telling her what it is just so she can fake it.

It's called dating! You either want to take the time to find out what they're all about. And if they don't want to take the time, or are looking for the shortcut it's probably better they just go away now.

therandomfail · Answer

The honest truth, even if you think it isn't going to be perceived well. We have the right to want what we want in a relationship, and making those intentions known is important for both people. The communication helps both sides make an honest decision on whether containing a relationship would be a good idea. If you get turned down, it's for the better. Lying now will either lead to your own discomfort later, or arguments due to mismatch.

mandyfire98 · Answer

What you are truly looking for in a relationship. Be honest.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

The truth For me it's closeness, acceptance, love and being loved, trust and respect.

Ju_nishi · Answer

I'd say that if I meet someone I want to be in a relationship with, we will decide the details together.  For me, relationship is the consequence of loving someone

DSan09 · Answer

I would answer literally what are my expectations. Like if it was an employee interview haha.  - how I expect to be treated.  - how I expect him to behave  - and my no negociables.

SimplyPut · Answer

Well um looking for fun passion connection and some one that doesn't need a serious relationship. Serious and fun are never used to describe same thing.

Moirine · Answer

In a few days or weeks of talking with somebody you can tell what they they need, want and are looking for in a relationship.

Angelo75 · Answer

The truth!!! -drops the mic- ps: Whatever you say here that is not the truth, is gonna make you and your patner unsatisfied later.

JacobJordan · Answer

The truth. Are you looking for sex? Are you looking for marriage and kids? Are you looking to be a sahm? Are you looking for something casual? Permanent? Long lasting? Etc

Fireguy17 · Answer

the truth, what you are actually looking for, otherwise it would be a waste of time if the other person did't measure up to what you were looking for.

friendofthefallen · Answer

Someone committed. Someone honest. Someone who cares about your well being. Someone matured. and many more things.

strateguy632 · Answer

looking for: wanted: a lady within age range to birth a family. prefer 30-35 but maybe younger if she likes me. good communication is critical.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That is something no one needs to know. I have never treated a date like it is a job interview.

tiff_tiff · Answer

Be honest. If aren't you are wasting your time and their time.

Anonymous · Answer

The truth. If you're just looking for hook ups, if you're looking for something stable and hopefully long term, both of you deserve to know what to expect from the other.

syncheart · Answer

I would tell them about my belief system. I would tell them about views on politics. I would tell them about my mental problems. And if they can love all of that, then they are in.

loveslongnails · Answer

This is what I say when they ask me that question:

aceleon · Answer

loyalty honesty desire respect

AutumnSerenity · Answer

I would just say what I want. Tall, good sense of humor, no criminal record. Stuff like that.

electromagnetic · Answer

You list what you’re looking for… it’s not a trick question.

Billlewis · Answer

I try to answer the question as truthfully as possible.

exitseven · Answer

I used to tell the truth. Mostly I was looking for somebody I could care about and would care about me. The sex could be optional.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I have found that if I don't say a relationship that the woman in question will never speak to me again. I know many guys who don't have to say that but I am not included.

Miristheiss · Answer

The truth.  No one knows what you want other than you.

StirredNotShaken · Answer

A partner in crime.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

You should say what you are looking for in a relationship. What exactly is confusing?

DextroShade · Answer

A girl who is not fat, not a hoe, not a bitch, who will submit to my masculine authority, and who knows how to cook and clean.

fuddly · Answer

Start a relationship hoping to get to know to know new person And to take it from there and see how it goes Beyond that who knows? Marriage and kids?

qtheoneandonly · Answer

Tell him the truth. Just be honest with them and hope that they're going to be honest with you.

TheeTrybrid · Answer

I'll simply keep it at "I like for u to just be yourself and watch for how they act afterwards. It's up to u how u move with the actions u see

Minahh · Answer

Well exactly what you want and if you don't know answer to that perhaps you should stop dating and figure it out first

Apple1996 · Answer

Answer it honestly

boobliker · Answer

who knows, but swap it around by saying love sex and someone who will care for when iam old

serious_miss419 · Answer

If they ask me that, I’ll directly tell em to foc off & ghost em at that rate!

Vegasrunner · Answer

@lemonette What was your response to this question?

Likes2drive · Answer

Companionship, intimacy, honesty and loyalty

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

You should be honest and open and tell them what it is your looking for. Just out of curiosity what are you looking for in a relationship

Djaay · Answer

I don't answer , just listen and decide whether or not I'm interested.

OddBeMe · Answer

Scientifically it’s meaningless as it’s our subconscious that decides.

nawtee_me · Answer

Just be honest, long term, marriage, a plaything

Anonymous · Answer

The basic necessities: A face, hair, arms (one minimum, two preferred), legs, abdomen, vital organs, etc.

FenixG45 · Answer

Someone who is similar and complements and completes me

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I HONESTLY WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY

Anonymous · Answer

Id be completely honest with how I felt at the time.

Bekaaaaaaaahhhh · Answer

You should just be honest!

Anonymous · Answer

I hint at what I want immediately. To be in her room.

What should you answer when they ask you what you are looking for in a relationship?

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What are you seeking in a relationship?

What should you answer when they ask you what you are looking for in a relationship?

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What are you seeking in a relationship?

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