Can someone actually be so busy they have no time for their girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

tldr; boyfriend never talks to me ever. doesn’t ask about my day and has no clue what happens in my life. we both got jobs but i know he has a free day once a week, i am free on the weekends. he never talks to me, doesn't ask basic questions and when he actually wants to talk to me, is about his own interests. Can someone actually be so busy they have no time for their partner? i’m deciding if i’m gonna break with him or not but i’m not sure on what to do.

[HollyK21]

What you should do is weigh your pros and cons — what does this relationship do positively in your life? How much value is there in being his girlfriend anymore vs being single? Maybe he wasn’t always like this and I know things were different up until a certain part in your relationship, but it’s important not to live in the past and instead adapt to your present. If he’s become too busy to be with you then yes that will hurt a lot to end things but it’s better than feeling like you’re in a relationship all by yourself, which is lonelier than you’d probably ever feel as a single person.

[Asker]

The thing is, he wasn’t constantly busy. He would still talk to me when he got back from work. He would call, text and sometimes we would even hang out, but now he doesn’t even ask about my day.

[HollyK21]

That’s precisely why I say it’s important to adapt to what’s going on in present time, because the past is no longer applicable or even very relevant. Because it’s like yeah he used to do this and that but for his own reasons he doesn’t do those things anymore. Your decision making should be based on how things are now, not what they used to be. I could go on and on about how a guy used to text me good morning/night every day, bring me flowers all the time, lots of dates etc, but how does any of that apply to current time, you know? He isn’t doing it anymore and that’s what matters.

[Asker]

You’re right. He just says “Hi” and “I love you”, and when he does have time to chat, is some random rant about an anime or a videogame. So I guess it would be better to break up cause I deserve better

[HollyK21]

Because you two rarely get to see each other communication is important so I’m sure your underlying question is how to get those things back, but what if he’s outgrown it? What if he’s getting to a place where he can’t (or doesn’t want to) prioritize your relationship how he did in the beginning, would you really rob yourself of the happiness you used to feel all for the sake of being a girlfriend? At this juncture you’re better off single.

[HollyK21]

Sorry I sent my other comment right when you did yours lol, yes you deserve a lot better than that. I know it hurts to breakup but it’s better to be single than deal with this.

[Asker]

LOL it’s fine. I guess so yeah, I mean I do feel lonely in it anyways so might as well be on my own.

[HollyK21]

I mean if you haven’t already of course you can try talking to him about how your feeling, be very straightforward about everything including your expectations and see if he corrects his ways. Unfortunately though sometimes people are set in their ways and just not meant for LDR relationships. Like even though you aren’t long distance because of how little you get to see each other it’s a similar vibe. If he’s not great at communicating consistently then this is the wrong relationship for him.

[Asker]

I’m worried about talking to him, but I might try and express how I’m feeling. I’m worried he’s gonna be like “yeah my work is my priority and I can’t give you more attention” but oh well, we’ll see what happens.

[HollyK21]

Look at it this way, if that were his response then at least you’d know where things stand and can act accordingly. You shouldn’t be so afraid of losing this relationship that you compromise your standards, boundaries and mental health. Have security in the fact that even if you weren’t the best you were still managing fine before him, and you will be just fine after him.

[Anonymous]

This is both a yes and a no.

There are possibilities that a person is too busy for their partner... but this will always be a temporary thing and there will be clear signs that they at least try to make time.

Sometimes things happen at the same time, like grandma getting sick at the same time the basement gets flooded and they are currently in the middle of a very demanding project at work... in such cases there could be no time left for the partner... but in these cases the partner would also be aware of what's happening and attempts will at least be made to make time.

But nobody in the entire world is always so busy they doesn't have time for their partner.

[blueonblack22]

Nah thats bullshit. I do believe he is very busy but when you really value someone you make to connect with them. Even if it’s just 5 mins a day texting or something.

People who find themselves on the opposite end in this situation are really in denial about the ugly truth: the other person just doesn’t value/respect them. It’s just hard to accept that reality (been there myself).

Now there is a remote possibility that this guy used to be “too available” for past women and they lost interest in him because he was a lack of challenge. So he might be playing a “challenge” game with you. However considering what you said above I don’t think so.

[Dinklex3]

No. I don’t care what anyone says. People make time for the people they want to make time for.

There’s no excuse to supposedly not have any time to speak to me for the entire week. I’ve been across the world doing exercises and I’ve still made time for people I care about. I’ve have friends that were on deployment who still made time to check up on me weekly. So to me, there’s no excuse. Because if I care for you, I’m going to make the time. Even if I fall asleep with you on the phone 🤷‍♀️

[Paris13]

You are Not on His Top Priority List. I Agree, You Deserve Better. xxoo

[Paris13]

It's Most Likely All About HIM. xxoo

[Asker]

i agree

[Paris13]

The New Year is Coming Up. xx

[JacobJordan]

Have literally never seen it. In today's world with people going to the bathroom with their phones and the number of people that smoke and spend time sitting in the car before and after work or in traffic. Etc etc always have at least 2 hours of time to talk to a partner if one wants to. Meaning if they aren't they don't want to

[worldscolide]

Seems to me like you need a better boyfriend. Let me put it like this. For the past 10 years i have been working 60 to 70 hours per week. I ALWAYS make time to talk to, and spend time with my wife. she's more important to me than anything else, including my job.

[EmmaMary]

If any of this suspicious c*** is remotely true, then some fucking lowlife so-called boyfriend you've got yourself there... Sorry.

Of course it's highly possible that he's too busy getting his leg over somewhere else.

[Joshydavid25]

No, nobody is that busy that they don't have time at all.. By the looks of it, it seems he doesn't have interest in you.. Maybe you should talk to him about it first and see if you guys can reconcile.

[Asker]

Yeah I totally agree. I’m finally gonna have a talk to him today.

[Joshydavid25]

I hope it goes well..

[HawkPerception]

No. Everyone has the time, no matter how jam packed their schedule is. If they're not making the time for you, it just means they're not interested enough in you.

[Nikki1989]

Absolutely. Life can get in the way of everything.

[Asker]

hurts so bad though like…we don’t even talk. i just feel like i’m not important

[sheikalana]

I mean some days people can get really busy but if it goes for days, weeks or months in a row then they're probably not as invested.

[katiesmuff]

Not if they are real interested in keeping said girlfriend!

[Anonymous]

No. Because if you put up a SMOKING hot girl who was super in to them, they'd drop everything for her. There is NO such thing as "too busy to date." There is ONLY "too busy to date YOU." Goes for both guys and girls.

[Anonymous]

i am busy and traveling all the time and so is my boyfriend and we find plenty of time to be together

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I think you should move on, seems a bit one sided. He is career driven and you're only there for him to vent about his interests

[cherriibly]

No, no one's that busy, it takes a few seconds to text

[Gramkabir]

Something is fishy and something very wrong about your boyfriend... One thing you can do, stop talking to him for 7 days. See what happens..

[jamesgoldman]

Sure, I'm so busy I just don't date at all

[TacosRAwesome]

Yes and such people should be single.

[KittygosMeoWW]

No that’s a scapegoat

[KrakenAttackin]

We make time for the people we care about.

[RedInnocent68]

No. You make time.

[he-takes-a-part]

hahaha