I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now.
Things started out well but as of lately i feel like there has been a major decline in our relationship. It was recently our anniversary, i had asked months prior if we could plan a nice date night to celebrate, he was down for it and i even marked the date on our calendar. Flash forward to the day, we had found out their was a dinner party for our job so he suggested we go and have our date night the next night which worked for me, later that night i left at midnight & he stayed out, He came home at 5:30 am than slept until 5:30 pm, i woke him and he got mad. By the time he got up the restaurant was booked up so i suggested we cook something together.
We go to the grocery store, pick out all our food than go to the cash, turns out he has no money? Mind you this is Saturday, we got paid 2 days prior, so i was left paying for it all. When i asked where his money went he said it was none of my business.
Now Christmas is coming i bought him his gifts and exactly the things I've heard him talk about wanting. He put zero effort into mine, he bought me an air fryer which I've never showed interest in getting as we have one. I did send him ideas. When we brought my gift home he wanted to use it lol i asked him to at least wrap it for me.
I feel like financially things aren’t fair which i have expressed, i spend a lot more in groceries than him each time. Each weekend he sleeps most of the day and i do all the housework alone.
i am starting to feel like i deserve someone who puts in the same amount of effort in as me and someone who actually makes me feel special because tbh he hasn’t tried planning any special moments for us where i could go home feeling so fulfilled & full of love besides wanting to go out drinking.
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Dude, if it were me I don't think I'd wanna stay in that relationship. It really sounds like he's not putting in any effort anymore and you're feeling taken for granted. The anniversary thing would've really pissed me off - who makes other plans on your anniversary? And then not having money when you offered to cook together is just lame. Seems like he's not really thinking about your feelings. You deserve way better than that man. Someone who actually cares about making you feel special, not just sleeping all the time and leaving you to do everything. Gift giving is supposed to be about the other person, not what you want for yourself. I get wanting to make it work, but it takes two people putting in effort. Don't waste your time feeling unappreciated, you can find someone who treats you right. Maybe have a serious talk with him, but if he doesn't change I'd bail on that. You deserve to be with someone who cares as much as you do.
No, for a lot of reasons. Tbh I don't see how you didn't see that he was a loser by 6 months and ghost him.
Is he more attractive than you physically?