Guys, do you open the door for your girlfriend/wife after months or years of being together?

[Simslover92]

My boyfriend currently does it and I'm hoping he continues to do so for a very long time.

[jarkitor20]

I would do it even after 50 years

[Simslover92]

Aww ☺️

[bobalife]

Aww so sweet 🥹

[zeitgeist057]

I only start after 20 years. (j/k)

[MikeTheBartender]

Abso-fucking-lutely

[Simslover92]

That's great!

[PrincessBunBuns]

I've only had one guy ever hold all doors for me, like car doors and other doors. and only like 2 actually hold doors on buildings for me. its like, a 1 in 15 chance. but it’s really nice when they do that.

[Simslover92]

It really is!

[AviatorTom]

I do, unless she opens the door herself first... that's something she often does, especially getting out of the car. I open the door for her more often when she's getting into the car.

[Simslover92]

That's great!

[TrueConfection]

My husband is still opening my doors for me after 20+ years.

[Simslover92]

That's so nice!

[Lliam]

I rarely opened a car door for a partner, but I have on occasion. To do so habitually feels like I'm treating her like she is helpless. I mean, she can get in and out of her own car, so why does she need me to do it for her when I'm driving.
But on special occasions like dinner dates when she is all dressed up, I definitely do open the car door, help her in or out and treat her like she's on a red carpet.
And if we both arrive at the passenger side at the same time, I open the door and close it once she is settled inside.

I do have gentlemanly habits and always open doors to buildings to let her enter first. But if a partner gets to the door first, she rarely stands there waiting for me to open it for her. In that case, if she opens the door, I hold it open and allow her enter ahead of me.

Women aren't helpless, but I do love the lady-gentleman game. It makes a woman seem more delicate and feminine when I can treat her special. And I enjoy being treated like her big, strong man who makes her feel protected and cherished.

[IslaTheWitch]

A lot depends on the culture people grew up. Between Poland and Germany is just one border on the Odra river. In Poland opening doors for women is an important lesson for boys in early teenage years, in Germany such thing doesn't exist at all :D

I'm fine with whatever... I'm able to open the door for myself :D

[Simslover92]

I am too but it's nice having my door opened for me. Didn't know that about Poland or Germany. Thanks for the tidbit. 😀

[kingmaker21]

@IslaTheWitch

Last line 😂😂

[Mansearching]

@Simslover92 @IslaTheWitch. I'd open the the door for you, either one. I even open the door for strangers that are women if I can. I open the door for girlfriend too. I might not do it for car door as much as I should but i try.

[Simslover92]

@Mansearching aww that's so sweet of you to say.

[Anonymous]

Nope she wants to be a modern independent woman so she can open her own door. This is what women want now a days. Women like to say I don't need a man or they say I can open the door I got hands. So, l let them be themselves but when they need me to help I tell the nope you want to be independent remember you don't need a man and I walk away. I'm not going to allow the modern woman to control me when it benefits her only. Until she appreciate me as a a gentleman then I will treat her like a lady. But if she want to be a modern woman then I allow her to be independent. Woman vs lady are totally different. Google it and you will se what I mean.

[Simslover92]

Haha I'm very aware. But I'm very old school and traditional. I don't believe in that modern woman bs and my boyfriend knows it which is why he opens the door for me and I let him know my appreciation for doing it.

[WhyohWhy69]

Wow nice assumptions about “modern” women. Lol you likely don’t even know what a modern woman is. Don’t expect kindness from good women if you can’t be kind.

[Lliam]

@WhyohWhy69. Right on.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm a psychologist with a minor in sociology. I do know plenty of women like you, @whyohwhy69. Lots of women and couples see me daily. I wrote papers and was published in many books about this. Im on podcast, speak in seminars, and so much more. It's in your username as to why. You may not agree with me most modern women dont, but they all come to me for advice, so there it is. Take or leave it your choice. Remember, you wrote the question for the world to comment on. I did add a comment. It may not be what you wanted to read, but that's okay. Not everyone is going to sugar coat a answer or comment a reapont thay you want to hear or to pat you on the back. I just have the confidence to say what most men won't say.

That being said, I know exactly what a modern woman is. You obviously don't know what a modern woman is because you're expecting something as little as a guy to open your door and to also pay all your bills and dates. Let me ask you this. How many bills have you paid for your man? Who paid for your first date? Oh wait, never mind, don't answer that you're just going to lie about the answer anways. @Lliam, you're only commenting on this because you want to support something that you don't know anything about. It's ok, though, your opinion is welcomed.😎

[Lliam]

You're credentials don't prove that your bad attitude is justified, Mr. Anon. There are plenty of misogynists claiming to be experts.

I know plenty of dumb people with degrees. Dumb people think, "I have a degree in something, therefore I'm smarter than you."

You know nothing about my experience. Your assumption is more proof that you are not qualified to be a counselor. Of course, most psychologists and sociologists I've known have been nut jobs. They were just trained to behave like experts.

This butt hurt debate over modern versus traditional women is absurd. Again, it's based on generalized assumptions. It's plain bigotry. Are men and women supposed to fit into nice neat boxes?

You just sound pompous and mean.

[Opinion Owner]

@Lliam explains to others how he got his degree on misogynist and is an expert on calling out people who have a higher knowledge and degrees that are higher than Mr. JODER (verb). In case you don't know what that is, you may use Google or ask siri to read it out loud for you as you dont know how to do research without her. Lliam totally explains himself on how he views the world. Lliam, I am not too familiar with the degree "smarter than you." Is that a degree that you're seeking, or do you have a PhD in it?🤣😂 I love this kind of stuff. What else do you have for me. 😎

[Lliam]

Nope. I've run across your type here before. You'll keep arguing forever without saying anything intelligent.
Sorry your butt hurts Dr. Anon

[WhyohWhy69]

Yeah but you only see people when they are struggling. It’s like asking a criminal prosecutor what they think of the general public. They will almost all say they hate people. No sorry I don’t think you do understand. Just like the radical right doesn’t understand what a Christian is. Sorry- my guy doesn’t pay any of my bills and I offer to pay half every time. If he says no, I ask if he’d like me to pay the gratuity. No lies. However, I wouldn’t date someone like you because you’d try to pigeon hole me and would likely use my generosity. Not a good match.

[WhyohWhy69]

Your degree has nothing to do with sounding like a mentally ill incel. Just the way you talk to people on here… Nah. Again- don’t expect kindness from good women if you aren’t a kind person. This coming from an educated woman.

[sawno]

"hoping he continues to do so for a very long time." ever told him how much you like it? You clearly really care about it since you posted the question. Don't let him get the idea in his mind that its just a simple gesture that didn't mean much to you. If there is ever a moment where its appropriate to compliment on it do so, its valuable feedback for him that will make him never stop.

[Simslover92]

Oh he definitely knows that I like it!

[sawno]

Probably never going to stop then, i'd do it for my girl any time if I knew it was this valued.

[zeitgeist057]

lol this reminds me of a funny story on NYE we were leaving a party and got an Uber. When it arrived I held the door open for a girlfriend of mine. She ran around to the other side and got in (thinking I was opening the door for myself)

[Simslover92]

Lol that is funny

[KEN5846]

I tried opening doors up for my ex girlfriend but she doesn't like it cause she a feminist. She believes she can be independent. But men don't open doors for you cause they think you can't. They do it cause they love you and trying to show kindness by opening the door for you. Also if someone open a door for you say thank you they just trying to be nice. People don't say thank you much anymore in this generation. I always say it cause I was raised to be a good man and also raised in a church so I believe kindness is needed in the world

[Kaneki05]

I think women know how to open doors so no lmao. And if she's going to tell but your the man so you have to, I will just go okay so since this is the 1800s I am gonna call you a witch and we'll see how far that goes lucky for her it ain't the 1800s.

Naturally I wouldn't date someone who puts a meaning on sexist roles. So don't see how this would ever happen.

[Kaneki05]

I open the door if it makes sense if one of us has there hands full or who unlocks the door to the house first, but if it's ever not a natural thing and her legit asking me because I am the man that's the fastest way for me to change my thoughts about her.

[matchrestore]

I do when we're going to a restaurant or some sort of social function, but otherwise its whoever gets to the door first. And my wife loves to go through the first door I've held open for her and dash across the vestibule to hold the inner door for me. If she wanted me to, I'd hold the door open for her more often, but she's told me multiple times its not important to her.

[HawkPerception]

Yeah... no. If you wait in the seat expecting me to come around just to open your door, you're not my kind of girl in the first place and I wouldn't be dating you. It's not like the car door is even 20lbs of weight. There's a pretty distinct line between chivalry and practicality.

[KrakenAttackin]

Tell him you like this and really appreciate his doing this for you.

Both men and women need to not only talk about the things they don't like, but make a point to talk about the things they DO like. The more you communicate your "likes", with a grateful and feminine tone, the more he will do these things for you ---guaranteed.

You also need to encourage him to tell you what he likes and doesn't like.

[Simslover92]

Oh I definitely do that. He knows I like it when he does it and that I am appreciative of it. Anything he does for me I show my appreciation!

[NathanDavis]

I only did that with my 80 year old girlfriend... also helped her out of the car (=

[Samantha36]

My partner does it a lot. Opens doors. Pulls my chair out at restaurants etc. Always let's me order 1st. I used to think it was old fashioned but now I love it

[wolfcat87]

Mine do it, always have and have never stopped. Building doors, car doors, etc. Just let him know you love it.

[Simslover92]

Oh I definitely do!

[wiltingrosepetal]

I honestly will never understand that gesture. So he gets out of the car and races to the other side to open hers? And in that time she just sits there? It kinda seems like a waste of time 💀

[Simslover92]

Or just opens the door for her to get in. He doesn't have to open the door all the time for her to get out. That would be insane.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Right, that makes more sense. My mum always drives and I was the driver for my ex since I had a car. So I've never witnessed a relationship dynamic where the dude would have a reason to act like that. It's more of a move to accommodate the passenger.

[Simslover92]

Yes that's true. I'm a passenger with my boyfriend. I'm not a good driver at all so it would make sense for him to open the door for me.

[strateguy632]

not any more. the first time i did she complained "you think i am too weak to open a car door?" opening the door like chivalry is seen as a chauvinist evil, like they are weak. let 'em open their own door

[Surely]

I will open car doors for people that are injured, handicapped, disabled or have their hands full. I will hold other doors open for anyone if I get there first and they are close behind.
A very wise mother told me not to start anything that you will not continue!

[molonski2]

Its something I was bought up with and something I always do , even for strangers if the chance is there , and I will do it for the rest of my days , because its one thing I'm not changing , no matter what.