Should I pay him back for the shoes?

[ask_again]

I met this guy on tinder and we got talk and liked each other, we finally decided to see and for a while he wanted to be around me all the time and he wants to cook for me and all, we went grocery shopping together and he even slept at my place but we were not an item (neither did we get intimate) I told him I want to get to know him and not rush into anything and he agreed too. So there was this day I needed to get shoes and he said he wants to go with me and when we got to the shop I picked the two shoes I wanted and he paid and I asked asked if he was ok cause I notice he was a bit different and then we got back home he was mad about the fact that I made him pay for the shoes. I specifically told him I don’t want you to pay yet you went ahead to pay and now you are blaming me? I got so mad cause he was being manipulative but we settled it that night. It became an issue over and over again, he complained of how expensive the shoes are and how he is now broke, so I I decided to cook and invite him to eat since he is broke, but I got tired of him bringing it up so I told him after a long week or two of bringing it up that he should give me his details and I would send the money, he threw his card on my face (landed on my eyes) that I should send the money, I told took his details and I told him to get out and of my house and he was begging but I had to be calm cause he was being violent before he started begging and I was scared, I faked setting with him so I wouldn’t be beat up and we was all lovey dovey before he left my place and then he called days later to have conversations with me and I told him this can’t work cause he is a bit violent and disrespectful with words and then he said “shut the f**k up you dumb bitch* I ended the call and blocked him everywhere, he reached out not long ago that I should pay for the shoes and less I forget I have him on video saying I shouldn’t pay for the shoes that they are gifts before we had the fight.

Should I pay

I shouldn’t pay

[PrincessBunBuns]

dont send shit to that dumbass. if he was broke he shouldn't have paid, thats in him. but thats fucking crazy he did that, and the fact he knows where you live is a bit concerning.


whenever a guy buys you something or gives you money, you're not obligated to give it back or pay it back. period. I've had guys buy me shit, and the last guy bought me a video game and ghosted. i didn't zelle him LMAO.

[Billlewis]

I agree with you 100%❤️

[Flower7]

I have a guess that he bought the shoes because he was hoping to become intimate with you. Pure manipulation. These are the types that would go around bragging about being a “nice guy”. When really, they wanted things in return.

[ask_again]

Yeah I feel so and it really pissed him off that I didn’t

[RandomUser1000]

If he'd be happy to gift you the shoes, that would be fine.
But that does not seem to be the case.

Seams he thinks you owe him something for getting you the shoes.
It's probably better if you just pay him back whatever the shoes cost so he can't hold that over you.

[Saiesh30]

Ofcourse you should pay. It was anything but a gift and more like you owe him. Personally, I can't stand the fact that someone pay for my stuff unless it's a committed relationship which yours wasn't. My advice is to pay and not see the dumb bloke again.

[ask_again]

The fact that I cooked and literally fed this dude for two weeks cause according to him he was broke? Shouldn’t I be paid back the breakfast, lunch and dinner for 14 days?

[ask_again]

I never asked him to pay for the shoes, before I could come back from trying on the jacket that I wanted he had already paid for it, mind you I told him I don’t like people paying cause I don’t like to be indebted to anyone, but he has used to make me feel guilty and all

[Saiesh30]

Two weeks all his meals?

[ask_again]

Exactly all

[Billlewis]

No, you shouldn't feel obligated to pay him for the shoes.

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah