There was a huge fight on the street, in front of the bar we went to together. He stood in front of me the right moment and while trying to push me over, he got hit in his back really hard. My friends were play fighting, but became raugh, so my boyfriend put his arms around me and he was protecting my face. We went to a house with a big doggo. He immediately stood between me and that dog. So he definitely protects me when phisically needed. But when it is about words, he always comes up with some stupid reasoning. He tells me all the time that I attract conflict, so people tell some stupid shit to me, which I should not give any attention to. Look, I hate over protective people. But still. I know these sound childish, but there are many cases where he could have said something and he never does. Always makes sure I am phisically protected, but of I tell him a guy was touchy with me in the past tense, like 15 mins after it happened, he just scolds me. I asked our friends casually if the weekend is off because they planned another event before that. One of the guys misunderstood this question with me saying they canr have that event which is not true. So this friend of ours told me that stop being dramatic and acting like there is no life without me on this planet, and that he should have told me this long ago. And I was like... I just asked if the weekend is still up? I felt like my boyfriend could have just told him to chill, was just a question, but he said there was no need to get into this childish shit. One time I was stupid enough to go into a drunken men filled bar to get a beer for my friend... alone. A guy approached me and held my waist, not letting me go. I told this story to my boyfriend and he just said he obvious, "you are pretty, you dressed sexy, you go into a shithole, ALONE, you really should think a bit". A bit of consoling would have felt nice.
3 mo
Guys, why is it that my boyfriend protects me phisically but not verbally?
Updates
3 mo
He said that you have to pick your fights and if someone is stupid enough to go insult you, you dont need your energy put into that conversation. So basicly until I dont get called a whore by a person we care about, it is no use to say anything.
What Guys Said
Men may have the advantage in physical conflicts, but they don't in social conflicts.
That is why it makes sense for a guy to be physically protective, but there is absolutely no advantage to him stepping into purely verbal / social matters. You should be perfectly capable of handling that yourself.
I am. Very well, I am great with words. I just feel like he doesn't care about me because of this one thing. He just told me a min ago that I should think about why he never has these conflicts and I always do, and I should be like him and not give a damn about stupid convos
Different personal values by the sounds of it.
It doesn't mean he doesn't care. In fact if he didn't care, I expect he wouldn't say anything to you about it. Your way of doing things and his way of doing things seem to be coming into conflict and he is letting you know. So presumably you two need to discuss this and find some sort of middle ground where you can both set expectations and agree on an approach you can both take together.
I get it. You see, what you said already helped, thank you. I dont need that protection because I am helpless. Oh, dont worry, I can tear anyone into pieces with my words. I want his protection to feel like he cares. But he always just scolds me and tells me how I could have avoided the situation if I just listened to him. Which is true, but that would not be my personality. I will never be silent. I didn't realize that if he even scolded ne, that means he does care.