How should I (32F) approach the topic of moving in together/marriage with my boyfriend (37M) this weekend?

[Bownarrow32]

My boyfriend and I are in a serious relationship and this March will mark our 2 year anniversary.

We have never spoken about getting married or moving in together but I want to bring up the topic this weekend because I can't stop thinking about it. I want to know where he sees our relationship going.

I'm scared though because I have never had this kind of a talk with anyone before. In fact, he's my first serious relationship... I don't want to come off as aggressive and scare him away.

So how should I approach the topic? Any tips or words of advice would be much appreciated! ❤️

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

My wife initiated the topic of marriage with me about a year into our relationship.

Her way of communicating sensitive topics has always been to start very light-hearted, humorous, and while we share thoughts and laughs and hugs, then gently go into the sensitive topic.

I always found that well-suited for my temperament. I don't know about your boyfriend but I suspect most guys will find this approach very palatable.

I'm thoroughly allergic to more confrontational approaches, like women who say, "We need to talk." They remind me of my mother and it brings out my inner boy that wants to groan and think, "[sigh] What did I do now?" and escape.

My wife somehow seems to understand this better than any ex I had, maybe because she grew up as the youngest daughter with only older brothers. She has a way of talking to men which is very supportive and humorous which suits me very well and makes me very open-minded to listen and discuss even the most delicate of topics.

Instead of "We need to talk," with a serious tone, my wife is more likely to say, "Let's go on a walk!" with a light-hearted one. Then as we're walking and holding hands and swinging them playfully around and laughing, she warms me up into having a more serious discussion.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think also when women say, "We need to talk," that implies that the couple hasn't been talking the whole time and that she has been accumulating all these things she wants to say. It implies a very unhealthy communication, and it could be partially or entirely the guy's fault but it suggests something very wrong to me.

So I at least suggest avoiding anything resembling, "We need to talk," and instead see if there's an angle of communication to continually talk about sensitive topics throughout the relationship. It'll become especially important after marriage.

[Summeroflove]

Yes. You need to communicate. I wish you the best. I get it’s nerve wrecking. But speak from the heart

[Anonymous]

Maybe ask him where do you see us going in the next few years? Like what have you been thinking in terms of our relationship growing into something more? Have you thought about what it would be like to move in together?

I wouldn't bring up marriage just yet though since you guys haven't even moved in together yet. But if you feel so inclined to do so, I would say have you thought about what it would be like to get married one day?

[molonski2]

I certainly would not be mentioning marriage , if he has not addressed it prior , start with the possibility of moving in together , keep it very very casual , its only 2 years and the last thing you need to do is scare him off.

[Bownarrow32]

Should I just ask him a vague question, like "where do you see us going in the future?" and see if he brings up getting married and moving in together?

[molonski2]

Id bring up moving in , then once I got in ( You ) , I'd work on the other from there , maybe giving a 2-3 year window , you are a much better chance of easily bringing up the topic if you are already living together , plus thats your trail full time together.

[Iron_Man]

You might as well get married first while by the milk when you can get the cow for free for him he could be thinking that

[In_Trance]

Approach it with him the way you would want him to approach it with you

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out