I was in an abusive relationship with my first boyfriend for two years, he'd yell and ne, choke me and hit me at times or push me into furniture saying I fell cause I had week footing. When I'd jus avoid saying anything as to not piss him off when he told me to shut up, he'd squeeze my hand until I did and he even raped me a couple times when I said no to sex or forced me to do stuff when I left I'd get nervous when I saw a car similar to his drive by and I'd get terrified ot still affects me a but today it's been 8 months since then I changed my number and job and blocked him on all social media. I recently met thus guy he's not a bad person and I do like him I'm just too scared to trust him. I've slowly gotten use to him and we cuddle sometimes tho kissing is kinda triggering for me when he holds onto too tight and goes near my neck. He respects my boundaries and we get along pretty well. I'd like to believe he likes me I'm just scared he'll end up like the other guy hurting me. But I find myself feel safe and comfortable around him we've been talking 4 months now. He takes notes of my triggers like he wrote down a list and has no problem with us going slow. I still zone out and dissociate sometimes but he doesn't mind and gives me my space or wakes me up I'd say, I'd feel a kiss on my nose, then 'where'd ur head go?'. I think I can tell him anything but I'm scared to share too much in case he finds out qhat the other guy did to me and doesn't want me anymore. I don't wanna cling to him incase he decides its too much and leaves don't think my heart could take it.
3 mo
Can I trust him to not hurt me?
