Your partner having opposite sex friends, yes or No?

[Anonymous]

It's only a preference, so yes or No?

Personally for me it's a no and I will most definitely return the favor of course, I just think it's healthier for a relationship where there's no worry from either side on temptation around in general or any form of open door for any extreme situations such as someone sexually assaulting my girl, it won't really be a problem tho cause I'll get a girl with the same mindset and that agrees so it won't be a controlling environment, just two adults on the same page you know? Compatibility as they say.

[IslaTheWitch]

I met my best friend, who is a man, in the first grade. We were 7 years old. I know him longer than any boyfriend I would have. So any important man in my life have to accept this fact. I won't throw my past life away only because the man who wants to be with me is full of insecurities.

I trust my partner and for me it's given he trusts me. In other case there is no base for a relationship.

[Asker]

Fair enough

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. And if your boyfriend has orbiting females you are fine with that?

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin Trust is a base. I would happily meet his friends and introduce him to my friends. I don't see any problem with him meeting his female friends without me around. I can't see myself controlling his every move or every contact he has on his phone. I trust he loves me and won't hurt me.

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch Then you are a fool.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin this is a difference between you and me. I prefer relationships based on trust and freedom and make them like that. You make them based on distrust and control.

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. I have always had to live in reality, from childhood, to war, to inner city violence, to realities of relationships. Men don't have the privilege of living in alternate realities.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin I also live in reality. I always had to. We all have to live in the real world. But we interpret the same things differently. And I'm happy that the men I met in my life were open and trusting.

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. A woman's "reality" is very different from a man's.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin And what do you know about my reality?

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. I know that all western women live with enormous privilege whether they realize it or not.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin, you know nothing and have your own assumptions about everything. You don't even try to go out of your bubble.

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch My "bubble" involves considerable life experience, from law enforcement , to flying F-18's off of a carrier, to commercial airlines, to investment banking, to blue collar trades, marriage/divorce, and myriad other experiences. I would put my "bubble" against almost anyone's bubble.

[TenderFantasy]

@KrakenAttackin For once we agree lol. Unless the opposite sex friend is married, in a relationship, or is gay, then the guy would be ORBITING lol, and it's just a matter of time and stupid clueless women (or men too yes there are many stupid men), are just all too "surprised" once their best guy friend or best woman friend starts hitting on them and confessing their feelings or trying something out when they're alone! The temptation is just there. Someone needs to open their eyes lol. If you're attractive, you will have PLENTY of people and options, for both men and women and plenty wanting to "be your friend" to get their foot in the door. Yes, ulterior motives! Hard to be platonic friends with the opposite sex unless both people were surgically castrated and they lost all their sex hormones! Or unnatractive/unattracted, married or gay like I said.

[KrakenAttackin]

@TenderFantasy Exactly! This is why eunuch's were the only ones allowed to guard Harem's.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin @TenderFantasy, you have strange friends... my FRIENDS do not hit on each other. We understand the value of friendship

[TenderFantasy]

@islathewitch Well then you're lucky. Unfortunately for me, either women were JEALOUS of me so they passed on becoming friends with me or they were too busy with their husband and kids and thought I was a loser and so wouldn't even be friends with someone who didn't have children 😞 or if it's a guy, they would either start flirting with me because they wanted to date me, or if not, then they didn't even give me the time of day. Either we were more or we were nothing. I wonder what is is that you're doing differently that you don't get creeps or snobby bitchy, arrogant women like that. It was especially pronounced when I was younger! To this date, I have only ever had ONE guy that wanted to "just be friends" but even then, back in 2016, we had a slip up and went to bed together! I don't have to tell you it got awkward from then on and that "friendship" soon fizzled out over the years after it.

[IslaTheWitch]

@TenderFantasy I could be lucky once or twice, but not always. I don't meet men with the intention of dating. I keep my distance and set strict boundaries. Those who don't want to comply resign, most of them tbh. The rest can evolve into friendships or more romantic relationships or stay on an acquaintance level.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Yes in my wife's case and same for me. We both have friends of the opposite sexes and all hang out together. Most of us are married now but we've all been friends before any of us got married.

It is very common here in Japan, like this:

I find it very strange that people from other parts of the world consider this wrong. I wouldn't have even met my wife otherwise; she was one of my female friends before we started dating, all hanging out together with our mutual friends of both sexes.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

One thing that might help: I have never known a single Japanese man who has violated the "bro code" as people call it in the West. We take this ethic very seriously never to sleep with our friend's girlfriends or wives. So I deeply trust even my guy friends who tell me my wife is attractive to never sleep with her because they follow "bro code". They would never disrespect me that way so I trust them to be friends with my wife as they trust me to be friends with their wives.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also we don't have private friends. Like I don't have a private female friend who isn't also my wife's friend, and my wife doesn't have a private male friend who isn't also my friend. We all hang out together.

Private friend seems inappropriate to me, like if my wife was spending lots of time talking to other guys on the phone who aren't even my own friends or if I spent lots of time talking to other girls who aren't even her friends.

[NathanDavis]

they always had them, so did I...

there was never doubt or drama, no issues either...

actual and real trust and confidence do show when "nobody is looking" and if we can't trust what we not controlling 24/7 the it's not real trust nor real confidence

this is my own experience, though

[Asker]

Hearing your comment I feel like I've asked this before 😂

[NathanDavis]

lmfao... who knows? maybe one day I change my mind about certain things

[Asker]

It happens to everyone, I actually believe you will when you find that woman you'd kill for.

[NathanDavis]

I already found that people

[Asker]

That's good, let's hope the friends stay in their lane.

[NathanDavis]

they do... as they stay on mine, whenever I am with friends of mine that are girls...

I would never ever disrespect anybody like that, no need to either...

[Asker]

Yea but unfortunately not everyone thinks like that

[mandyfire98]

Yes, definitely. Men who have a close relationship with either their sisters or close friends that are women are normally better with women. Better at understanding us and usually have more respect for women as a whole.

[Asker]

Yea I wasn't talking about siblings tho 💀

[mandyfire98]

No but guys who have close friends that are women also understand women better as a whole. Having sisters was just thrown in as a way to say that guys who are close to women usually have better experience dealing with us as opposed to guys who don't have close female friends and don't think men and women can be close friends. They tend to not respect women as much or take time to understand us or have the same level of empathy towards us.

It's the same as women who don't have guy friends. Who refuse to hang out with men at all. Less understanding of men or empathize with men.

You've got some people that just refuse and say "men are from mars, women are from venus, oh well" and don't want to understand each other at all.

It's good to socialize and learn from each other first hand. That's part of nature really.

[Asker]

Well when seeing someone talking to your lover I can't say the first thing that pops up into my mind is that the person has a sibling of the same sex, if anything thats the last thing you think

[mandyfire98]

Yeah but that's just insecurity and jealousy. You gotta conquer that. You gotta trust who you love or you don't need to be dating anyone. People aren't that weak to always cheat. Cheaters cheat but the majority of people aren't cheaters.

[Asker]

It's not insecurity, I'm secure with myself and my partner I don't trust anyone else and that's the problem, I don't expect normal people to understand cause most people aren't aware on the evils of people's minds, also I've noticed women are easy to take advantage of and are the most clueless, it's why I personally refuse to allow it, it might seem extreme but I know what I'm avoiding and my partner and trusting my partner isn't the problem, it's trusting others and what they can do and how it can effect my partner, it doesn't come from insecurity of believing in not enough or whatever other perspective people create on their minds, it revolves around my protective nature, nothing else.

[mandyfire98]

Women are the most clueless 😬😬

Oof.

Not a good look guy. Not a good look at all.

[mandyfire98]

Just a tad mysoginistic

[Asker]

No it's not, it's what I've noticed, it's why we are having this convo right now, I've known people that have taken advantage of women and women who are broken by it, you know what would've avoided that, if they had a guy to think the way I do or if they thought it themselves but we both know thats not how it went down, I believe statistically women are the ones that get manipulated successfully the most, it's only a dark and cold truth, women manipulate too but let's be foreal, most manipulation comes from men manipulating women, personally they can miss the people I care about with that shit

[Asker]

I'm honestly not trying to come off mysoginistic cause I love women, care for them and believe they play an important part to society and have their pros and cons just like anyone else and like anything else, unfortunately those cons can be blindness to the shit creeping on them, society is changing for the worse and we have to evolve to that, not pretend it's not getting worse, I'm taking my precautions.

[mandyfire98]

So lock up your women I guess? Ooh we could wear full shrouds and head covers and rarely leave the house. That way people can't tell what we look like and men won't then come up to us and brainwash us into blowing them on the spot. We can be talked into anything after all.

You see how ridiculous this is right? The threat of cheating leading to relationships that are one step away from the Taliban? Where does it end?

[Asker]

No but you'd know how invalid that argument was if you read the last sentences of the paragraph of my question but alright

[mandyfire98]

Hey, good luck to you on your future relationship. That's all I can say really.

[Asker]

I hope you meant that with good intention cause I detected sarcasm

[mandyfire98]

No, good luck. At the end of the day you have to live your life and others live their lives. Your view isn't THE view just like mine isn't the only view. So at the end of the day all we can do is agree to disagree and live our own lives. So good luck and to each their own. We can respectfully disagree at the end of the day.

[Asker]

Well I appreciate the acceptance in differences and thank you for the conversation, thank you for sharing your views and I also wish you nothing but good vibes and blesses. 💯

[Apple1996]

Sure I'm fine with my husband having both male and female friends

[Asker]

I think that cats and dogs stuff you were saying is bull then 😂

[Apple1996]

I think some people can be friends but that doesn't mean men and women aren't fighting

[Asker]

Well true I guess the gender war still exists

[Dutchgirl97]

When people get older and have careers and married and have children- the desire to have friends of the opposite sex is much more slim unless it’s a couples friendship.

I think having individual friendships of the opposite sex is more common and defended by younger people.

[PrincelyGlove]

Do you give advice? :)

[Dutchgirl97]

@PrincelyGlove as much as I can ☺️

[PrincelyGlove]

dm me? :)

[Asker]

I can somewhat understand that mindset, that makes sense I guess, my brain doesn't let me think like that tho but I can see where you are coming from

[StarWarGirl]

Yes.

I have no problem in him having female friends as he has won my trust at that level that I don't feel anymore secure about it. Even if I'm away and unable to see him still I know he isn't going to do bad things behind my back.

[StarWarGirl]

Insecure*

[Asker]

Yea but you don't have to worry about a woman raping him tho so that's understandable.

[StarWarGirl]

It's about "friends" not random people. A real friends is never going to rape you. Whatever would happen would be with both parties consent only.

[Asker]

Ha you must have never heard of these "friends" that rape their female friends, all it takes in the wrong choice, happens mostly when drugs get involved.

[Asker]

Let's not forget the vultures that most women are clueless about that their only motivation to start a friendship is that meow meow

[StarWarGirl]

Yeh I don't know. As where I live here drugs aren't very common. And I can't make any such friends who do drugs etc.

[Asker]

Usually these are the most slick, call any guy friend you have and tell them you broke up with your partner and want a rebound, a friend won't take advantage of you right? That's if you really wanna see what's up

[StarWarGirl]

Vultures are definitely there but still. Why to keep any such people around as friends? What's the use of making ourselves unsafe like this? If everyone is such better be alone. If by chance you can get good people moral to get friendship it's nice.

[StarWarGirl]

No. I don't make such people as friend neither I do casual relationship or rebound something. I have waited like 26 years to get the right person to get into relationship I have not given anyone chance. My emotions are very much worthy. I can stay alone forever than being in a wrong relationship.

[StarWarGirl]

If there is anyone vultures roaming around me. I'll keep my distance with them and if needed I'll tell him directly something which he may not like listening. I would better stay alone than being around such people so now literally I have no friends. Not even on social media like on fb insta neither in real life. Because whoever I met those were vultures. I'll wait for real people to be my friend or else no problem I don't need anybody.

[Asker]

One can only hope it remains that way when finding new people, let's not forget it also opens doors to emotional attachment, like I said, I think it's healthiest without these opens doors, it's just factual that the chances of it remaining healthy are increased when the lovers have only friends of the same gender, that of course depends on environment tho, I know here there's more vultures than good intentions.

[KrakenAttackin]

@ChicoFromThe305. Precisely. Women play clueless but deep down they aren't that stupid.

[KrakenAttackin]

@StarWarGirl. But what if his female friends are hot for him?

[StarWarGirl]

Luckily I got my boyfriend who isn't interested in any hot kind girl no matter who comes. He is honest and true towards his partner. For him love matters more deep connection matters. He isn't like horny for any hot chick but only with him he feels emotional connection which is only me. So I need not to worry no matter who comes around him.

He has won my trust by his actions. I have choosen him as my life partner after seeing him for around 1 year. Now nothing can shake my trust over him. And it's not blind trust but this trust I have seen after seeing his actions. He doesn't masturbates even without me. So what any hot chicks can do to him?

[StarWarGirl]

Actually many had tried to seduce him him in past. But all has got nothing else but disappointment only.

[StarWarGirl]

And I'm an average looking girl. You may say that he hides his horniness or he lies me about it. But actually he can't. His lips swell what I can clearly see when he is raised and when he is not. So after getting such kind honest and loyal partner why I do need to worry about anyone else?

[AManOnTheWeb]

Yes, of course. If I can't trust my partner then that's my own character flaw. And if she can't be faithful, then she's a POS and isn't worth my time. What I don't get with this attitude is that she would be unfaithful, but because I'm controlling and putting restrictions on her then that keeps her faithful? That gives you peace of mind? really?

[Anonymous]

depends. like if they're just people they hangout in groups with but not really alone, they're lesbian, unattractive, old, are seriously cuffed, or someone they've known since they were kids, its fine. but or else i'm a bit uncomfortable

[Asker]

Fully respect that uncomfort, we live in a time where you can't trust anyone around the people you care about, many are still blind to it from the looks of it

[aceleon]

no, if there is a guy friend there is no me.

[Asker]

I knew you were gonna say some mic drop shit 😂

[aceleon]

i just hope this was not an insult.

[Asker]

Nope it wasn't

[aceleon]

then thanks i guess, though i amnot a native so i don't know every slang you use, what does mic drop shit means?

[Asker]

That's not slang, normally mic drop moments is a savage saying and then you drop the Mic, I already know you agreed with my mentality so I knew before I read it that you were gonna do a mic drop moment and you did lol

[Asker]

You went like "No, if there is a guy friend, there's no me" *drops mic*

[aceleon]

ohh, lol, so you were saying i am a savage huh ''wringling my brows''

[Asker]

It's a savage saying

[aceleon]

well bro, if you think this is savage, you didn't see savage.

[Asker]

Bro it's just a mix drop moment, relax 😂

[aceleon]

exactly my point :) even this seems like something big or aggressive or such thing to you even though i am as cool as a cucumber now.

[Asker]

Bruh I was just hyping you up, homie really thought tho 💀

[aceleon]

yes i am indeed hyped dude i am not in a bad mood lol

[Asker]

Fair enough lol

[MrNameless]

Would it ease things for me? Maybe. But I don't want to be controlling. I'm okay with her having opposite-sex friends. I have to trust her. If they're hanging out alone, and often, I think that's kind of weird though. I mean there should be some obvious boundaries in place, but I don't even know if its worth mentioning.

[Nikki1989]

Why would any decent human-being make their partner lose their friends?

[Asker]

You have a bad habit of not reading before replying, I recommend reading

[Miah04]

I got a pair of scissors ready for him if he ever attempts that. Jk.😂

It's not something i worry about. I trust him

[Asker]

Damn I thought I found someone I can relate to for a second 💀

[Miah04]

😂😂

[Astarlessnightsky]

Ofcourse yes. She can have all the friends she want. Anything else would be incredibly toxic.

[Asker]

Fair enough

[molonski2]

I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I said " No " , when I have so many.

[Asker]

But I can definetly understand the mindset of that no tho, it's not even about cheating, it just seems like a thing certain men understand and even women, there's definitely no words to explain it.

[molonski2]

I dont quite get what you are saying Chico?

[Asker]

I believe it's a personality thing and it's something only people that carry the territorial trait can understand, I'm sure not everyone carries it.

[molonski2]

Okay , fair enough , yeah , I don't have that trait I'm afraid.

[Asker]

Fair enough

[IslaTheWitch]

@ChicoFromThe305 I'm very territorial, lol, so no cheating, no touching, no even thinking about it. My man is mine. Period. But I'm also reasonable. I have friends, close friends. And the man I will meet one day also will have a past life. We can't throw the friendships we built for years away. It's a fact. So, I give the benefit of the doubt. And I mark my territory.

The rest depends on him. If he wants to cheat on me, it's not important if it's his friend or the lady he met at a gas station. He will do it anyway.

[Asker]

Lower level of territorial, if guess there's extreme levels

[IslaTheWitch]

@ChicoFromThe305 would you really cut the woman you love off from her friends? Would you tell her to choose them or you? Where is love in this?

[Asker]

Did you read what I said? 🙃

[molonski2]

@IslaTheWitch
Thats pretty much how I would feel.. " mark my territory " , oh yeah , every woman does that.

[IslaTheWitch]

I did, but I apparently misunderstood. Care to explain to me your previous reply?

[LemonJuicee]

As long as they're lesbians, have expressed and shown absolutely no interest in him, or already have established relationships of their own, then I don't really care

[Asker]

Makes sense to me

[exitseven]

Iam okay with it unless it was somebody she used to have sex with.

[Asker]

Oof that should be a hard pass for anyone lol

[MrMore1]

No, because men don't want to be just friends. They just wait for a chance.
A shoulder to cry on is a dic to ride on

[Asker]

Exactly people are so clueless about these vultures, mostly Women, I'm not trying to make it a gender thing but it is, women are clueless on being taken advantage of, they think most men have their feelings at mind, I've seen enough to know that s not how it goes at all, men want that twat between their legs, they will lie, manipulate and create illusions til women are at a weak point and they spread their legs

[Anonymous]

Yes. People having friends of the opposite gender is very normal where I am. It was weird coming on here and seeing the amount of people who have a problem with it. If you don’t trust the person you’re in a committed relationship with. Then that person having friends of the opposite sex is not your biggest problem.

It doesn’t matter what their intentions are if you trust your partner.

[LiamJHayden]

My best friend since I was four is a girl, so I'd have to be a hypocrite to say "No." here.

[Asker]

Fair enough

[Zestyassmf1997]

I certainly wouldn’t object to her having no friends of the opposite sex.

[Asker]

Fair enough, it's a preference 💯

[OtterMan68]

if you don't trust her, she should not be your partner

[Asker]

Another that didn't read

[serenalovesramen]

i think it shows insecurity if there partner can’t have opposite sex friends

[Asker]

I disagree, but I respect your opinion sniffles 😂

[PrettyCrumblBb]

We are both adults and have morals and standards and cheating isn't a temptation for us.

[Asker]

You finally found someone crumble, it's about time 💀

[PrettyCrumblBb]

I'm not looking. Never said I was. You missed my point. I'm mature and I think like an adult. I don't experience jealousy and wouldn't choose a partner who does. If cheating is a temptation for you then I suggest you reevaluate your morals.

[Asker]

Damn okay 💅

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Yeah my nails are pretty and I'm scolding you 🤣

[Asker]

You got them temu nails 💅

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Never bought nails on Temu

[Asker]

I don't believe that 😂

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Well I haven't. I only get good quality nails.

[Asker]

I know I'm only messing with you crumble 😆

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Ik 😂

[Asker]

Okay good lol

[ProbablyClueless]

I'm okay with it, as long as I can tell that there are some strong, legit boundaries in place.

[laly520]

he has decided not to have opposite sex friends on his own so nvm it

[slatyb]

Yes of course

[Asker]

Seems legit

[sheikalana]

Nope.

[Asker]

👏👏👏👏

You are well aware of your surroundings unlike all these victims 😂

[KrakenAttackin]

Nope, hard pass.

[dudeinohio]

Nope

[californianjoe]

of course there is