What would you consider a bitter baby mama?

[KittygosMeoWW]

Recently my daughters grandparents on her dads side reached out asking for pictures of her and they asked to ft time her. I try to stay as level headed as possible when it comes to their requests but I can’t help but feel angry at them and want to ignore any further contact. It’s so bizarre that they’re not involved especially since they’re super religious.

Some back story to this situation:

* They have only seen her once when she was 3 months old because I allowed them to come over to my home and was providing for all of us while their son was unemployed.

*They knew their son was abusive towards me and tried to gaslight me into thinking I was at fault/they knew he cheated on me during pregnancy (bought his side a bday gift when we share a birthday week) and never contacted me when I went to all the appts alone. Found out after gave birth.

* They never called for my daughters first birthday or any holidays.

*Currently have no contact with their son due to safety issues/law enforcement was involved. The pics were to make their son a picture from for his office/ft was just to read her a story.

Would you say I’m bitter if I chose to just focus on my daughter and teach her that people who are family shouldn’t do that and it’s ok to cut people out of your life even if they’re blood relatives?

[beebella]

First of all, I think you're just being cautious because of how they've all treated you and I don't see anything wrong with that.

But... coming from someone who also has a shitty grandparent, I think it's ok to try to cooperate with them as much as possible as opposed to just cutting that tie because they're shitty grandparents.
Over the past 25 years, my only living grandfather has shown my family how little he wants to be involved in our lives. He always favored my cousins over me and my siblings, there have even been holidays when he bought gifts for my cousins and nothing for the rest of us. He's only visited my family twice in 25 years. Never called us on our birthdays (although now he sends money every year) and whenever he does randomly come back to California, he doesn't tell anybody and if he does, he tells whoever he's visiting to not tell anybody he's here.

I say all that just to say that if my parents had decided to completely cut ties with him from the get-go, I probably would've resented them for it because they didn't give me a chance to at least see for myself what kind of person he is. Not saying that your daughter is going to feel the same way, but I think it's ok to just let her see for herself what kind of people they are and if one day she says she doesn't want to see/have any contact with them, then she doesn't have to.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Thank you for answering, I really appreciate your opinion. I understand your point of view and have gone over this scenario many times. Friends and family advise me to stay away but I also never want to be responsible for my child missing someone in her life (hence why it took me so long to get law enforcement involved). I would my child to feel self conscious or not good enough (her grandparents are overly involved in a friend of the families kids) and that’s why I might just cut contact.

[KittygosMeoWW]

*hate

[beebella]

Totally understand. I'd probably feel the same way if I was in your shoes.

[Squatting_Slav]

I would not consider your reaction bitter at all. From the 'gaslighting' comment already I think they're not very moral people (even though they're defending their son... he still should be held accountable by them). I think limited access but cooperation never hurts they may be able to help you with certain things.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I’m very protective of my daughter and I’m worried about leaving that door open and her feeling like she’s not good enough (her grandparents are over involved with a family friends kids) they gift her hand me downs that are in bad condition and a lot of thrift store finds when they have money. Like the interaction doesn’t seem genuine at all.

[Squatting_Slav]

Oh god... that's lowkey awful. You make a very good point though in feelings of inadequacy for her growing up

[SamZy16]

I think even though it might be disrespectful considering their age but perhaps you're not bitter after all that you saw and been through.
And it's only fair to teach your daughter who are the people she could trust and whom she cannot.

[LEGENDARY4200]

Not at all seems like you have your priorities straight. Kids and you come first

[Nice222]

I agree with how you feel and would cut them out. It’s okay and good to separate yourself from toxic people. Even if they are blood.

[Nerdvana]

Yes, that's my specialty.

[KittygosMeoWW]

What

[Anonymous]

Sounds like typical black people drama

[KittygosMeoWW]

That’s very ignorant, he’s white.

[Opinion Owner]

You're black 😆 typical

[KittygosMeoWW]

I’m not black but it’s ok I know who this is and know you’re racist. Just because you hate that you’re a dark Latina doesn’t mean you’re ugly, I mean I heard you are but I have personally never seen you. lol you didn’t have to go anon, this is an anonymous website.

[Opinion Owner]

You're definitely black

[KittygosMeoWW]

PrettyCrumblBb for someone who blocked me you sure do keep up with my stuff 😘🖕