What defines an affair opposed to a series of mistakes? (Page 2)

[nawtee_me]

Tell yourself what you need to in order to make yourself feel better. If you are thinking about doing it again in the future then it is an affair. If you know you don’t want it to happen again then it might just have been bad choices.

[Booklover_90]

Your husband and his wife deserve better than you two. Pathetic. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[JayBones]

You cheated. You should tell your husband so he can move on and find love again... but you won't because you are terrible.

[SotiCoto]

Committing to cheating with the same people, I guess.

[genericname85]

"having an affair" is just an euphemism for cheating in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

There is no distinction here. You cheated, multiple times. You're a cheater, period.

[jahaims]

It's cheating when you hide what you are doing or wouldn't do it in front of your partner

[KrakenAttackin]

Does it really matter? You have just killed two marriages.

[BarryLiverstone]

Means you were horny and drunk

[BarryLiverstone]

But you feel safe with him which is why sex happened

[BarryLiverstone]

And also means it’s likely he has cheated with other women too

[Asker]

Yes he has cheated in the past a fair few times. It’s been the first time for me and I don’t think it would happen neither would I want too, with anyone else

[BarryLiverstone]

Your husband cheated or your friend? Maybe you have some emotional feelings for your friend and when he pulls away after sex it hurts

[Asker]

No my husband hasn’t cheated that I know of. The guy I have slept with has cheated in the past on his wife a few times, so I am not the first person he has slept with behind her back….. yeh it hurts but I pull away too becus I don’t know how to act or what to say, so we both distance ourselves for while. I know he’ll be there if I did reach out.

[BarryLiverstone]

You said that it’s happened 3 times and mostly didn’t happen. Were you ovulating those three times or more horny than normal or was it just the alcohol.

If you feel hurt then that is more a signal it’s an affair than the actual sex. This is a man you knew before your husband and you have feelings above and beyond just a friendship.

How are things in your marriage? That you are finding intimacy with him and not your husband

[Asker]

Funnily enough I have been ovulating each time it’s happened 🤣 that’s a joke we had too.

Me and my husband have a good relationship. But I’ve never felt emotionally close to him like I have this other friend, I’ve always felt very restricted with my husband but feel free with the other guy. I guess that’s how I’ve ended up letting things get this far.

[BarryLiverstone]

So yes, this is an affair. Yes it makes sense you are ovulating so that explains why you feel like it’s random when really it’s not. You are feeling more and more in love with your friend and it’s because you are falling out of love with your husband.

If you have never felt emotionally close to your husband then you will continue to have this affair or may even have an emotional affair with someone else.

The bottom line is do you want to put in the work to save your marriage ( go to counseling and admit you had an affair) or is this the realization you no longer want to be married to a man you may have never really loved in the first place?

[BarryLiverstone]

by the way I wasn’t trying to sugar coat this or assign blame or shame. Just assumed you wanted an answer based on the question that you asked.

[LiamJHayden]

Irrelevant. Cheating is cheating.

[GrantArmstrong]

What makes it an affair? Not telling your partner.

[DreamLife7]

Wtf are u even asking?