What is gaslighting? What are the examples of gaslighting in a relationship?

[chick]

I am confused by this term most of the time. I understand gaslighting in the workplace. What is gaslighting in a relationship? Isn't it just a toxic partner?

[drummer]

Gaslighting is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, but it's actually a really serious issue. It's like someone constantly messing with your head until you start questioning your own sanity. Pretty messed up, right?

In relationships, gaslighting can be particularly insidious because it's often done by someone you trust. Here are a few examples of what gaslighting might look like between partners:

Denying something happened when it did: Imagine you're absolutely certain your partner said something hurtful, but when you bring it up, they flat-out deny it ever happened. "I never said that.

Trivializing your feelings: You express that something they did hurt you, and they respond with something like, "You're too sensitive" or "You're overreacting." It makes you feel like your feelings aren't valid or important.

Twisting and reframing conversations: Let's say you have a legitimate concern or complaint, and they somehow twist the conversation to make it seem like you're at fault, or they're the victim.

Withholding information or pretending not to understand: This one's sneaky. They pretend they don't understand what you're talking about or withhold information to make you doubt your knowledge or decisions. "I don't know what you're talking about" or "You're not making any sense."

Projecting their faults onto you: If they're being unfaithful or dishonest, they might accuse you of those very things.

Constantly shifting the goalposts: No matter how hard you try to please them or meet their standards, the rules keep changing.

Using what you love against you: They might attack or undermine the things that are important to you—like your job, interests, or relationships with other people—to weaken your support network and self-esteem.

If you ever find yourself feeling constantly confused, questioning your reality, or feeling like you're always to blame in your relationship, it could be a sign that gaslighting is happening. It's important to trust your instincts and seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can help you see the situation more clearly.

[Lliam]

"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition."

Here are some good examples:
https://www.businessinsider.com/guides/health/sex-relationships/gaslighting-examples

[Minahh]

changing your reality - making you feel stupid, inaedquate for the worldiews you hold, your opinions, wishes and desires

making you question reality - did i really said that? am i the wrong one?

trying to change how you behave in order to get what they want - if you loved me you would do the xyz

- basically theyre trying to make you question the very basics that make you who you are, it can literally lead to you not knowing who you are anymore, a lot of psychical and physical signs, educate yourself always so that you can spot those individuals and dont have to go through the shitstorm that is these "psedorelationships" because you are never loved in those

[wiltingrosepetal]

Aight here's a tame example of what it can look like:

👨- You seriously don't remember what you did last night? It must've been all that liquor.
👩- I didn't drink anything.
👨- Yes, you did. I saw you. You had a vodka and tonic by the bar. I can't believe you're forgetting this! You spent all night drinking!
👩- I did? I guess I did wake up with a headache.

Gaslighting is the foundation of an abusive relationship. Getting the person to stop trusting their own mind makes them rely on the partner. They start seeing their partner as having the only true perception of reality and accepts their words as gospel. Psychology amiright

[Jessica405]

It comes from an old movie called "Gaslight" where a guy was trying to convince his wife she was going mad.

[Jessica405]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight_(1944_film)

[RingOfFire]

"I am confused by this term most of the time."

You and me both. I have read the definitions, seen the examples, seen the word used in sentences many times but still cannot grasp the precise nuanced meaning of this word.

How is "gaslighting" different from "deceiving," or "bullshitting?"

What does it mean to manipulate someone using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning?

gas·light
/ˈɡasˌlīt/
verb
gerund or present participle: gaslighting
manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.

[RingOfFire]

"I understand gaslighting in the workplace."

Can you give an example? Maybe it will help me understand it.

[genericname85]

gas lighting for example when women ask "are men affraid of strong independend women?". because by this choice of words, they directly exclude all relatable and acceptable causes for a man not to go for such a girl. thereby gaslighting men to think "not preferringt his" is not an ok feeling to have. so basically gasligthing is denial of someones emotions and making them feel their emotions are wrong.

[Nirmroth]

They try to make you the culprit and twist their reasons behind actions to make it your fault.

For example a cheater telling you, you're at fault because you didn't had time for them and they felt so lonely they had to seek it elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I can’t stand these new terms such as gas lighting. It’s basically another word for instigating a fight or altercation. Like if I call out a girl on her poor behaviour and she’s like you’re gas lighting! That’s just using a word to deflect her bad behaviour and making it seem like he’s the one who’s wrong. Gas lighting to me pissing off a co worker who’s working hard, does 1 thing by accident and a person goes to management wanting to fire them.

[Anonymous]

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/gaslighting

[citygirlxox]

Let’s say I caught ur partner cheating in the act, gas lighting would sound like, why did you go through my phone ur crazy, I’m not cheating your just insecure. You don’t want me to be happy and have friends blah blah blah

[Pterodon]

It’s making someone think they’re crazy. It comes from the movie Gaslight where a husband tries to drive his wife insane. What Biden is telling us about how great he’s doing in office with the economy and the border is gaslighting

[AngryCarl]

Gaslighting is saying shit that never happened. In other words, lying with conviction.

Example: Donald Trump is a stable genius who doesn't engage in criminal activity.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Making up bullshit to set a strawman argument on fire in a dumpster way.

[OddBeMe]

Mind fckery. Caught you banging in shower. Wasn’t me. Even caught you on the sofa. Wasn’t me,

[Enginn]

I think its something makes you feel bad. You will know when it happens.

[Anonymous]

It's something f*ckbois do to make women seem like they're crazy.

[DreamLife7]

At 34 you should know what gaslighting means