Interesting, you're going through a captain save a hoe phase. You can tell her that, but when you get with people who rely in a large part on their sexuality to make a living, it's hypocritical as all hell to feel uncomfortable about it later on.
I saw a lot of guys I worked with in clubs burn out doing that while dating bartenders and strippers, eventually the stripper or bartender would quit, then the guy would end up having to go into a harder job with longer hours to make enough money to support both of him, now he's no fun, she leaves him and goes back to work at the club.
If you want a modest girl, get with a modest girl. If you get with a club girl, don't try to turn her modest. People don't change unless they have a compelling reason to.
I never asked any of the strippers or bartenders I was with to change, and if they asked me to change I asked them to gtfo. If it bugs you though, talk to her about it, nothing may change, and you may be on your way to collapse, but at least it'll put a little more air under those wings.
I would say, you probably shouldn't.
Why?
I bet you didn't mind her "boobs" being out, when she was just your bartender.
If you have confidence in your relationship, then don't get all "... no daughter of mine is going out dressed like a whore..." Have you ever tried just talking to her, without telling her an opinion of yours, that she's not asking you for?
You know like she's her own person, who has managed somehow to get that job, and keep it without your pointers thus far. If she doesn't have her "boobs" out when she's not at work, then it's a pretty safe bet that's because she doesn't like dressing like that either. But, she knows that she gets more/better tips when she does.
Unless you're able to completely maintain both of your standards of living on just your earnings, I'd let that go if I were you.
You don’t. I don’t know any woman, in the history of forever, who appreciated her man telling her he doesn’t like the way she dresses. If the way she dresses is part of work policy, you may need to get over that.
Take her out on a date to the mall. Walk around and point out things you’d like to see her wear. You find something that appeals to both your tastes. You say something like, “Babe you would look so hot in this…Could you try this on? I want to see how it looks.” You want her to change her style? Don’t be afraid to pay for the new wardrobe.
Is it really a requirement from her work place to dress that way? Regardless, when you decide to bring that conversation try not to use an accusatory tone or an angry face. Be casual about it because if this is what her managers are asking her to do then there's probably not much you can do about it. Take her out for lunch/dinner and tell and then say "I'd like to talk about something that's been bothering me..." and then say whatever goes in your mind. Sometimes all we need is some reassurance and to say what were feeling.
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focus on your emotions, not on her and your assumptions. Talk about how you feel in specific situations and ask about her perspective. Focus on understanding her perspective. Then, try to suggest a solution that will match hers and your perspective. Talk, compromise, negotiate. But never attack or blame her. The moment she goes defensive, you lost the conversation
Interesting how most female members said you shouldn't say anything. Seriously! If you are in a devoted relationship, you should be able to express your opinion and feelings. It should be a two-way communication where you express yourself and she explains herself and come to an mutual understanding, whether or not it is a dress code or not.
Always express whats bothering you, rather than sweeping it under the carpet and moving on.
Would you want her to tell you how to dress if the roles were reversed? You have good intent here, but the follow through would only cause damage to your relationship. You can say you worry about her dressing the way she does and why. But you have to trust she does knowing she can take care of herself.
Those boobs are what get her tip money. She knows what she’s doing and truth be told if she’s hot guys are checking her out all time. Nothing can be done about that. Just mention one time that you hate that men are checking her out when she’s at work but you understand. Leave it at that and if she can change her style she will. Be direct but share is as an opinion shared in a moment of honesty and NOT as a request or definitively not as a demand.
Did she dress this way when you met her? If so, why would you date someone that dresses like a slut if you didn't want her dressing like a slut? lol.
You can tell her you are uncomfortable with her having her tits out and dress a little bit more covered but other than that you can't really expect someone to change for you unless they truly love you.
do you expect your comment to change anything? lol. any adult woman would laugh at that. she can dress how she wants to, and you can dress how you want to. you don't see her caring about your clothing do you? she's a bartender... you say you're confident in your relationship, but this just seems pretty insecure to me. i feel like you should say, hey maybe you should get a better job, instead of making any comment on basically a work uniform.
grow a pari and tell her that i don't appreciate other guys in your work eye fucking you, cover yourself more for whatevers sake, jealousy has nothing to do with confidence, we are not girls, our jealousy doesn't come from insecurity or fear of loss, we are jealous because we are possesive by nature even animals are like this and no we are not more evolved if it means denying our nature, being a cuck is not evolution.
Positive reinforcement will ALWAYS be better than negative. If you don't like it when your girlfriend wears a certain style, you should give her compliments when she wears a style that you do like.
Don't say negative things when she wears something you don't like though. Not unless it's truly inappropriate.
I dated a bartender and I know that most of their income comes from tips. They make a lot more money if they wear a skimpy outfit and flirt with the male customers.
I never really gave e it much thought.
Changing your mindset regarding the way she dresses may be better. All the guy who are checking her out are probably wishing that they were with her. Yet you know you are. You have a beautiful girl who they can't have. You can have sex eith her while all they can do is masturbate wishing they could so what you are doing with her.
Are the other bar girls dressed like that or is she more extreme? I think you should say you don't like it because otherwise you are not being honest. You might accept it at her work but be against her having her tits out when you are socializing
you can say you don't like it but then give her something positive and ideas. her boobs are pulling in a lot of money. you could offer to cover them up and make up the gap she loses.
I mean you can always suggest that she is doing too much, but to be honest if she's a loyal girl, and you are secure it's okay. She feels pretty and if anything when she's out she'll act cuffed and then men envy you. But, I also understand it is a respect thing.
Just like that. And then she will decide if she wants to dress poorly still. If she does then she saved you time and you can find a woman that dress more modestly.
Honey if she loves u then u shouldn't worry n dont be a jealous type for no reason... even if someone oggles her she is still with u not them...
Yeah, I'm sure that conversation will go well. Dude, just stop. Do you expect her to wear a mumu to work?
You should just shut up and accept it. If you trust her it's not a problem and if you don't then you have a bigger problem.
You walk up to her, open your mouth, breathe out through your larynx so it makes a sound, form the sound into words with your mouth... and tell her you don't like the way she dresses.
She's working for the tips I guess? You'll have to trust her or accept that she will earn less cash.
m they have like a dress code?
I hate how certain workplaces treat women
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