How do I tell my Girlfriend that I have terminal cancer?

[Anonymous]

Within the last month, I have found out that I have terminal cancer. I'm only 24, but it seems cancer is so common these days. That it isn't much of a surprise. I heard this was a great site to ask people about relationship details. I've already come to terms with the ending of my life, and was told that I have around 9 months or so.

The reason I am here. Is to figure out how to tell my girlfriend of a 8 months that I basically will be gone in 9 months to a year. lol. I know it isn't truly funny, but you have to smile in life. What do you think is the best way to tell her, and I plan to spend the last few months traveling around, and enjoying things before they get bad. How do I make this as easy as possible for her?

[Tula1]

You just tell her. There isn't some plan here. You should have told her the moment it happened. Instead you took the time to weather it alone. Sounds like you already created distance..not sure if that is normal for your relationship or not. So now, you sit her down. You tell her what it is, how long you've known and what you want to do. Be honest. Don't hold back and don't make decisions for her. If you love her and are trying to somehow spare her feelings, dont. If she wants to be there for you, let her, etc. Yes, you have every right to spend your last days anyway you want to but remember that when that last moment comes, whenever it does, in less time than you imagined or much, much more, you'll likely think of eternity as well as those you loved than the sunset over Costa Rica.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice. I will be telling her within the next couple of days. I know where I'm going after death, and I'm OK with it :) I'm just happy to have been here at all.

[Tula1]

It's good to hear. I'm sorry that you haven't been promised more. I hope that no matter how long it is, that you'll enjoy life and the legacy you leave will be more beautiful than you imagine.

[Lovet]

First of all...I am so so sorry to hear this. You are so brave, I cannot believe it - I wish I were half as brave as you are...

Secondly...NO MATTER how you decide to tell her it will hit her like a truck and her reaction will always be the same. She will be shocked and she will cry. So just break it to her really don't waste time! Sadly there is no easy way.

Wishing you best of luck! God bless you!

[tweetumzz]

just like what others' commented just simply tell her.. she might want to accompany you traveling around that would be much more fun! good luck in your journey.. well its inevitable that we will all gonna say adios in this world somehow.

[Anonymous]

I have Stage 2 AML and I am 23. It's not an easy thing to discuss with anyone and I think that it should be a matter of personal discretion regarding who you tell. As men, we never like to think that we are incapable of healing from something, and it takes a toll on our ego and self-esteem. You've done something already that many people can't and that is make peace with yourself. My AML is fortunately treatable but you never know with things like cancer. I have your attitude about things and believe that when it's my time, it's my time and I am just going to enjoy as much while here as I can while continuing to battle this. Best of luck brother.

[artfullyliving]

If you really have it. If you really asked for a second opinion. Because they tell people this sometimes and people tell people this sometimes to get attention and money. But if you do then just tell her casually in the course of conversation and she can sort it out on her own. You don't have to hold your face one way or the other. Its actually going to be harder on you so that's the reality. She doesn't have cancer. You do.

[Asker]

I wish it wasn't true, because I love life as whole. I've been to three different doctors, and all have come up with the same prognosis. Thank you for the optimism though. It definitely was a good idea to get a second opinion. Even though it may not what I wanted to hear. I can at least know what to expect.