Men, how do you feel about talking to your partner about how you feel?

Question

Do NOT be nasty about this. Let’s have a civilized conversation.
Men say women don’t care about their problems or feelings. But, my question is, how is your partner suppose to know what’s going on with you? How would you feel if your girlfriend/wife kept everything bottled up?
The point of relationships is to trust one another and be there for each other, right? And the lack of communication is what’s going to put on huge strain on your relationship where everything will turn for the worst.
Are you willing to deal with that strain where it’s going to cause more problems?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honestly I don’t. Not because I don’t trust her. It’s just been instilled in me to not show emotions. Plus as you grow up most of us men have probably expressed our feelings to a woman at one time, for it shoved back in our face. Because let’s face it most women have no filter. They will throw a lot of things back at a man, especially things they know he's vulnerable about. I have been through that myself. It may not necessarily be your wife who does that but women who we’ve dated or encountered that we didn’t end up w. Now w that said I’m not saying I don’t trust her like I mentioned before. It’s just been in me forever to be that way. Plus a lot of things in life don’t bother me. I think women wonder how can men be so happy just sitting there laughing at stupid things, maybe eating a slice of pizza w a coke or beer. Women seem to have a lot of things on their mind, maybe because their emotions play a big role in there whereas not so much for men. I hope that makes sense. Plus I don’t put that burden on her as a man if something wrong. Most men know it’s a burden to put that on others so we usually don’t. We figure it out, unless it’s some life or death shit. My role as her husband is to protect her, to keep her safe. That means from things I may be going though if it’s something that I can take care of. Now if the man has cancer or something more than likely he will tell her. I get too that even though the man is trying to protect her she feels something is wrong when he’s quite. When he doesn’t talk to her. So keeping her safe as I say I’m doing sometimes makes her worry because she doesn’t know what’s going on. But I think I’ve been w my girl long enough she knows when there’s something going on that I’m trying to figure out. She doesn’t pry. She gives me that space. But in general a lot of women in society don’t care about a man’s feelings. Plus as a man you don’t know how far you can go w your feelings before she loses respect for you. Women get this “ick” feeling w men. They may not always know all the time what things would set off that “ick” factor, so he doesn’t either. So if he cries because his cat died, she may be turned off by that. Whereas w other women it may be acceptable. There’s a line there that a man shouldn’t pass that a woman knows, but she doesn’t know just where is that line is either u til it happens. Just my thoughts. I think in general a big part of society doesn’t care about men. Even we as men don’t care about other men. We lose our children most times in divorce, we’re a majority of the homeless, we’re sent off to war, etc, etc. But we just keep trucking till the day we die lol

ProbablyClueless · Accepted Answer

Communicating your feelings to your partner is crucial, but a lot of men have bad experiences where they've tried telling women about their feelings and things just haven't gone well.

Maybe the woman just talked over him and made the conversation about herself
Maybe the woman told her friends about what the guy told her in confidence
Maybe the woman weaponized what he told her in a future argument.
Sometimes the woman just makes it abundantly clear that she couldn't be bothered to care by making jokes about what he's saying or whatever

When men say stuff like that, it's because they've had direct experience with women absolutely not caring.

Kelly6 · Accepted Answer

@peridot25  anyone who can talk to their partner openly about their feeling is a sign of good healthy relationship

laly520 · Accepted Answer

my boyfriend is comfortable with doing it he would often tell me about how he is feeling

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of my relationship expertise here! 💖 Making your emotional world an open book to your partner isn't just romantic; it's crucial. It's like being the DJ of your own love story—mixing trust, vulnerability, and communication into a killer dance track that both you and your partner can groove to.

Now, to the gentlemen pondering over sharing feelings—imagine your heart is a treasure chest. Locking it away might seem safe, but sharing its contents can turn your relationship into a rich, shared adventure. It's true; some fear their partners might not be receptive. But here's a plot twist: opening up could inspire your significant other to reciprocate, deepening your bond.

And let's flip the script—how would you feel if your lady kept her feelings under wraps? Probably a bit like a detective without clues. Not fun, right?

Communication isn't just the glue; it's the magic spell that transforms 'me and you' into 'us.' And yes, risking a bit by sharing your feelings might invite some strain, but it's the kind of strain that stretches and grows the relationship, not breaks it. It's like lifting weights for your love life—builds strength over time.

Beyond surviving, it's about thriving together, understanding each other's emotional landscapes, and navigating them with grace. Remember, every superhero shares their weaknesses with their allies, and who better than your partner to be your sidekick in this adventure called life?

So, let's get talking and keep those love vibes flowing. Curious to hear others' thoughts on this. Ready to wear your heart on your sleeve? 💌

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I always make it clear at the start of a relationship. No secrets from each other (except what I get her for Christmas etc)

No subject is off the table.

When relationships start like that? Even if they fail, they usually do so amicably!

Tractorguy13 · Answer

Don’t hate on this comment, I know it’s not all women. When I was dating and I did bring up my problems and\or feelings I was told how stupid it was and was ridiculed for feeling that way. I know a lot of other men that have experienced the same thing.
My question is how are men supposed to trust women and open up if what we are going through never seems to matter?

RHK36 · Answer

Most of my relationships has led me to believe that sharing how you really feel with most women isn't a good idea. Women say they want us to share more, but if they don't like what they hear, they take it personal.

Are men guilty of being crappy partners in communicating? Yes for sure. However men already get accused of being bad communicators and we ourselves usually admit that we can be shitty.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I did it with my ex and it wasn't too bad honestly.. Then again I'm more of a sharer than the average man maybe.. Like the great Love Doctor Brad said, trust is the foundation of a man being that vulnerable with a woman and the woman not immediately getting turned off and not so attracted to the man.. It takes time to build that level of intimacy..

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Well said, if i was married, i'll let my wife knows about everything that's happening with me and discuss with her how i'm feeling, in the end no one will love me, care about me and help me the way she does, that's how it's supposed to be...

If a spouse can't receive these from his/her other half, than this ain't a real marriage anymore!

Whitewulf · Answer

We’ve learned our lesson or most of us have. That we do not share our feelings. We are belittled for it and called insecure or emotionally unstable and those feelings will be used against us at a later date. Guaranteed.

Anonymous · Answer

So you want us to answer but not tell you what you don't want to hear? Why ask the question at all then?

This isn't nasty, just REALITY. I don't want to say anymore than I have to to her. It's not that I don't want to share. But I know everything I say will be picked over with a fine toothed comb, and judged. It's just easier to say as little as possible.

Unit1 · Answer

usually when we do that we run into a high risk of being Ridiculed, losing respect or it being used against us. Ultimately ending up single too. It takes being burned once to learn not to touch fire anymore.

JacobJordan · Answer

I talk with my wife regularly. However I also know my wife will never throw that stuff back in my face when she gets upset or feels down.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

I’ve had several times when I opened up and communicated how I felt that she didn’t support me. That lack of feedback was concerning tbh

Anonymous · Answer

Well depends on the women , if she won't use it against us and if she's someone like you we'd definitely open your minds Sashie...

Alex-Snow · Answer

Guys are not as open about feelings etc. as women. But I'm trying!

BonMot · Answer

Sharing thoughts with your partner is critical! Hide your thoughts and you live a lie... communicating is an integral part of any good relationship.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

I don't dump my problems on her

KrakenAttackin · Answer

She will only use it against you later.

dudeinohio · Answer

I have no problem discussing my feelings

Anonymous · Answer

Emotions, I don't have them

Twalli · Answer

I discuss my feelings with my girlfriend

Anonymous · Answer

I generally don't feel anything.

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