Have you ever rebuilt a relationship you destroyed?

[Anonymous]

Regardless if its a friendship, relationship, family, coworker.. etc.

Have you ever suffered through such a mental breakdown that your completely sabotaged or destroyed a relationship? Perhaps you verbally threatened or attacked them, or physically attacked them or their property? Something that was so extreme that it completely self destructed within seconds.

What happened afterwards?

Were you ever able to rebuild it, or create something with a semblance of what it used to be?

Or was it simply over, nothing could repair it?

[Anonymous]

I have. I was under a lot of stress and pressure, my boyfriend was very dismissive and would brush me off every time I tried to bring up issues regarding his temper. I’m usually the type of person that never raised their voice during an argument but I couldn’t take it anymore and lost it. I slapped my boyfriend during an argument. I immediately regretted it and apologized to him, it shocked him bcs I’m usually a very gentle person that would never hurt a fly.

He walked away. I told him I understand and accepted it. I sent him a text basically acknowledging my mistake and how sorry I was, I told him I’ll work on it but I will give him space and won’t bother him. I went to therapy, did a lot of self reflection, worked on myself and my issues/resentments.

After a while he reached out to me again, apologizing for his temper and how he used to snap at me for no reason, he said getting slapped in the face kinda woke him up lol but still he said the slap was unacceptable. I agreed. We talked a bit, I never denied what I did or tried to justify it and I guess it gave him closure. He said he wants to try again, but he doesn’t trust me. I said that it’s okay and I’ll work to earn his trust back (that I won’t get physical ever again). That was a year ago and now we’re smooth sailing. I learned not to bottle up my feelings bcs it’ll lead to resentment, I learned to properly vent my frustrations, I worked hard to gain his trust back (by sticking to my promises) and I actually did a lot of self work.

[Asker]

My situation involved an arrest.
My neighbor and I were good friends, and occasionally slept together. But the issue is that I was struggled to a slowly unravingly mental breakdown.
This made me aggressive in text, a bit possessive, and other times I would lash out for no reason.
One night, I lost it, and was very cruel with her in text, on phone, and then went out and then used a hammer against her side mirrors on her car.
I told her what happened, told her to call the police.
I was arrested, and have court next month.
She did send a text the following day, saying she didn't want to take it further (like a restraining order), but wanted her car fixed, and for us to return to being neighbors, and then maybe learn to be friends again.
That was 12 days ago, and I haven't spoken to her since.
I went through a depressive and suicidal rage for a few days after.
Had to be medicated, seek help, open up to people I never felt comfortable talking to.. etc

I have no idea if she has changed her mind. She clearly blocked me after that conversation, and my attempts (leaving a door at her note, and talking with her best friend at work) to make repairs haven't seen fruition. She likely feels very uncomfortable with me now, and just needs time. Months of time no doubt. But, I did speak with her best friend (a coworker), and I rekindled that relationship, and she said she would reach out, and at least tell her the work I've been doing.

[Asker]

I just hope in time, after all of this has gone past.
When I have worked on myself and found inner peace. Which I am slowly getting through.
That she will notice it from a distance..
perhaps approach me.
and then we can slowly rebuild something akin to what we had.

I don't expect it to be done soon, and know this will take a great amount of time.
But I do hope forgiveness exists in this, and that we can all grow from it, me especially
I already feel growth, and know if I stick to this path, by the summer I might be the strongest I've ever been mentally.
Sadly, it was something I needed to do before, but it took a complete and total mental breakdown for it to happen.

I saw the warning signs during the past month. Just though I could handle it alone.

[Opinion Owner]

I think you need to work on your issues first and foremost, your anger issues especially (and your overall mental health). Seems like she’s open to not completely cut you off but she might not be ready just yet to let you back into her life. Just focus on bettering yourself for now, get her car fixed, give her space. Once you feel like you’re in a much better spot mentally then you can reach out to her to apologize properly and acknowledge your mistakes, let her have the say in whether or not she wants to rekindle the friendship/relationship and respect her decision whatever it is. Good luck!

[Asker]

For sure you are right.
currently medicated, meditating, changing my state of mine, reaching out for help, opening up.. etc.
I don't plan on approaching her anytime soon.. not for months.
:)

[Opinion Owner]

I think you’re doing great so far, you’re actively taking the steps to better yourself and that’s awesome, proud of you! I hope things will work out in the end but at least this has kickstarted your journey to become a better person, you got this!

[Asker]

Thanks! :)

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, rebuilding a relationship after it's gone through the ultimate test of endurance feels like piecing together a shattered vase, doesn't it? It's delicate, challenging, and requires a lot of patience and super glue (metaphorically speaking, of course). I've guided many couples and individuals through these stormy seas. The key ingredient? A hefty dose of humility and the willingness to really listen and understand the impact of one's actions.

Personally, my experiences have revealed that relationships can indeed be mended, but they'll never quite be the same. And sometimes, that's a good thing. It's like repairing broken bones—they heal stronger around the fractures. With sincere apologies, understanding the root cause, and implementing changes, a new kind of relationship can bloom, one that's wiser and more resilient.

But oh, let's not forget, it's a two-way street. Both parties need to be on board the Loveboat of Forgiveness and Transformation. Without mutual effort, you might just be rowing alone in the Sea of Regret. Been there, advised that! 😅 And yes, sometimes it's best to let go, transforming painful memories into lessons of growth and self-discovery. Love can be a wild ride, but oh, what a story it makes!

[Nikki1989]

Never had to do that.

[Staximus]

I'm never the one who destroys it