When we were still in the talking stage I slept with someone because I was not sure whether the thing between us romatically established or not from his part. So, now I know that it was romantically built, should I inform him what I have done? Is it considered as cheating? I kinda feel guilty.
The whole "were we or weren't we exclusive" debate can get messy because, honestly, unless you both sat down and spelled it out, it's all a bit gray. If you guys didn't specifically agree to be exclusive, then strictly speaking, you didn't cheat. But, feelings don't always stick to the technicalities, do they?
Honesty is super important, but so is timing and context. If you feel like this is something that's going to nag at you or potentially come out later, it might be better to just lay your cards on the table. It doesn't mean you care any less about what you two have now.
If you decide to share, pick a calm, private moment. Lead with how much you value what you two have and that your decision back then was made in a different context. It's not about excusing it, but rather explaining where your head was at. It could go a few ways. He might need some time to process it, which is fair. But if he sees that you're coming from a place of wanting to be honest and build something solid, it could actually strengthen your connection.
You are best to tell him the truth , if you want him to be honest with you as well. If he chooses to walk away from you , that’s his choice , you aren’t in a committed relationship with him , just because you are talking to someone doesn’t mean you have to put your life on hold for anyone. You are still single and dating , so you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. It’s always best to be honest with someone, if you want that someone to be honest with you, if you can’t be honest with someone , you are only hurting yourself by keeping secrets and lies from someone , it will just be a matter of time before those secrets and lies will haunt you , if you choose to keep it a secret. It’s best to lay everything on the table before considering a relationship with anyone , if he can’t handle your honesty , than sadly he isn’t the guy for you. I only give my heart to a girl that is honest with me , her past is her past , just like my past is my past , if she can’t accept me for who I am , I won’t be able to accept her for who she is. Why it’s always best to lay everything out on the table before taking the next step with someone. By keeping secrets from someone is sadly only hurting yourself and making you a liar
"Women make rules for betas, and break rules for alphas"
You ever heard that one and know how it applies?
If you don't I'm going to give an example--> Girl has guy chatting her up and simping out for her and she puts him in a position to chase and orbit her. Meanwhile, alpha Chad T. C. winks, smiles, and gets up in her guts without none of the trials and tribulations the nice guy is still doing. Chad T. C. leaves like he obviously was going to do from the very start, but now nice guy is starting to make girl's pussy moist because girl wants to be treated better than Chad T. C. treated her.
Anyways, so you feel guilty now, but you still did it. I'm going to be real with you, if it works out with current nice guy, you'll really cheat on him as soon as Chad T. C. gives you a booty call. See, nice guys have to play by all these rules for you, but you'll break those same exact rules for a hot night with Chad. <--and that's why you feel guilty right now. You treated these two dudes very different... didn't you.
You're gonna hurt him now or later in my opinion. I don't feel sorry for him. He has to learn... he's gotta get red pilled one way or the other.
I mean you aren't in sny relationship during the talking stage. That's the point of the talking stage is to decide if you want to be in a relationship. If you aren't in a relationship then there's no exclusivity yet. They aren't your boyfriend yet, you're just 2 people talking and hanging out. So you're technically still single until you're official and exclusive.
No need to feel guilty about anything. You weren't in any relationship yet. If you feel guilty about that then I guess you should feel guilty about every guy you slept with before him.
It's silly.
Does it change anything from your side? Are you connected to the man you slept with? Do you want to be with him?
If "not"
You made your decision based on data you had at that moment. Now you know more but back then you didn't. So there is nothing to feel guilty about.
now... do you think telling him will make him feel good? Will it help your new relationship? Will he understand that you made your decision based on data you had at that moment? Will he be hurt? Will he blame you?
make your math... you did nothing wrong, so don't let the guilty feeling control you.
Navigating the seas of new connections, aren't we? Let's dive into this. First off, the "talking stage" is like the Wild West of modern dating—few rules and a whole lot of ambiguity. It's essential to understand that without a clear agreement or conversation about exclusivity, actions outside the relationship aren't technically cheating. However, feeling guilty is your heart's way of saying, "Hey, maybe we need to clear the air."
So, should you tell him? Well, consider this: honesty is the foundation of trust in any relationship. Sharing your experience might create a bump in the road, but it also opens the door for deeper trust and understanding moving forward. Ensure your approach is thoughtful and sensitive, focusing on your commitment to transparency and your value for what's developing between you two.
Remember, love, understanding, mutual respect, and honesty light the path to a strong relationship. If he's Mr. Right, he'll appreciate your honesty and your dedication to starting on the right foot. Good luck! 😉
Opinion
18Opinion
Not unless you really want to. Still, I wouldn’t recommend it. You’re single during the talking stage, you’ve made no commitments at this point so you’re free to do as you please.
No. You need to stop feeling guilty about it that is what you really need to do.
Just for argument sake, what if you ended up getting really attached to this guy, and start to plan a future together? Then one day during a heated argument you accidentally blurt it out. What price then would you put on being able to go back and tell him of the stupid thing you did.
Of course, he could still take a disliking towards you for it, but better it's out the way now than after you create a history together! No?
In general, talking/chatting stage is considered just dating, and hence you have no obligation to tell him anything. Unless you both said specifically that you were going to get to know each other exclusively.
If you now feel quilty and it is killing you internally, then feel free to tell him. It's what foundation you want to begin this relationship on and whether you see a future with him.
I wouldn’t. You weren’t exclusive, so it’s not his business. And if you have a good thing going, why risk messing it up if he doesn’t take it well?
I just don’t see what’s to be gained by saying anything, and you’re not doing him dirty by not telling him, so I think it’s best to just chalk this one up as a last hurrah before making a hopefully long term commitment, if that’s your goal.
Define talking stage. Too many retarded micro stages to relationships it is little wonder people can't have healthy relationships. The way that always worked was dating stage, marriage proposal, marriage. Now people have made a million and one different names so they can be shitty the entire time
So much for having sex with your husband or your one exclusive dating partner that you are committed to. Girls just be fucking anything these days, multiple men at the same time.
TELL HIM!!!
He deserves the truth so he can make an INFORMED DECISION when he decides who serious to get with you.
I am really speaking for myself. I would dump. I would expect the respect of being treated as a potential partner and to not be double timed.
You should tell him and accept his opinion on it.
If there is a positive benefit to you and a positive benefit to him then yes, you should tell him.
If not, than why would you?
I would tell him. What if down the line he finds out and dumps you? You might as well save time and find out as early as possible.
Imagine how you would feel if he were the one who did that while he was still in the "talking stage" with you, and you found out. Be honest with yourself: how would that make you feel?
You were single, and talking. It’s not an issue, and you shouldn’t feel guilty.
Nope, there’s no reason to say anything unless you have a thing with this person you slept with.
Are you crazy? Noo
For what? y'all aren’t exclusive!
He’s probably talking to or sleeping with others
Yet another reason the 'talking stsge' causes nothing but headaches.
well that was sort of a low quality person move to do. so you can redeem yourself by being honest but i guess that has a high likelyhood of making him lose interest.
Men don't need to know every trivial detail.
I can't think of any benefit to telling him. Unless you caught an STD, why bother telling him?
No, in my opinion.
You should feel guilty 🧍🏽
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