Why do some women keep going back to losers?

Question

Especially after having several bad experiences with them?

PORTLAND, Maine – Jeffrey Buchannan, a 36-year-old man from Massachusetts, has been sentenced to 40 years in prison for the brutal murder of his girlfriend, Rhonda Pattelena, on a beach in Maine. Buchannan pleaded guilty to one count of murder earlier this month, avoiding a trial and securing an agreement with prosecutors that capped his sentence at 43 years. The judge, abiding by the terms of the agreement, handed down a 40-year sentence on Wednesday.

The killing took place on March 26, 2021, publicly acknowledged as a daytime attack. Buchannan and Pattelena, who was the mother of Buchannan’s toddler son at the time, had a troubled history and had been dating on and off for seven years. In 2017, Buchannan was convicted of felony kidnapping and assaulting Pattelena and her two older sons. However, at the time of the murder, many friends and family members were unaware that the couple had reconciled.

During the sentencing hearing, the court was shown the rock used by Buchannan to beat Pattelena to death, while prosecutors detailed the injuries she suffered.

According to witnesses, surveillance footage, and court records, Buchannan attacked Pattelena while she was in the process of sending a Snapchat video to a friend. Multiple cameras captured parts of the attack, including Buchannan repeatedly striking the victim. After the murder, Buchannan was seen walking away from the crime scene and attempting to hide the victim’s body.

With the judge’s sentencing, Buchannan will spend the next four decades behind bars for the murder of Rhonda Pattelena, a woman loved and cherished by many.

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Why do some women keep going back to losers?

Lynx122 · Accepted Answer

I don't really understand women enough to fully answer this question but I'll try.

One thing this can happen to any person when you have a shit childhood with no love you can later asociate the same treatment with love because that's the only love you ever knew so you fall into a habit of seeking out people who treat you just as badly as your parents did because it gives you the same feeling as someone gets who is actually being loved. Except you're being abused.

These people need therapy to be "reprogrammed" so they can associate those feelings with being treated well instead of badly.

The second reason women have more feelings and more (stronger) negative feelings than men. And women like some variety in their feelings to keep things exciting and so a bad person can be more exciting than a good person for them because they're all over the place. It's like a gambler who keeps losing money but he only remembers the big wins and how great he felt when it happened. At least that's what I've understood from what I've heard about this subject. So they're on a rollercoaster and then the feel so amazing when they feel like oh he might care about me and love me even though the guy they're chasing never did. But it feels more exciting than being with a guy who she sorta knows he likes her and he's more stable and grounded and focused on the right things improving himself and his life. There's no thrill in that. There's no feeling like you might have won the lottery but it might end in disaster with a guy who has a normal legal job and goes to work every day.

That's why there's women who love criminals in prison etc. They're just chasing a high not really understanding what they're doing. In the past life was a lot more dangerous and uncertain so it was good for a woman to stick by her man in difficult times and get through it together. But today these men are the danger and the uncertainty because you can live a stable and safe life if you want to. So it's not the same thing but it might feel the same to the women dating these men.

So these women they're not thinking about their own future or children they might have or anything they just wanna maximize the thrill excitement and the feeling they get when they feel like they've managed to hook this man. Even if it's just imagined.

glennos89 · Accepted Answer

For some reason woman are attracted to badboy type of guys. The only thing they don't seem to understand is that those guys are often mentally damaged in a way that it makes them hard and cold because of the pain they suffer from mentally. Nobody is born tough, the painfull things you had to deal with during your life will make you hard. As a man you often will have to deal with other guys that try to dominate and manipulate you if you aren't standing your ground. Every guy wants to be a alpha male deep inside but the only way to achieve that is by asserting your dominance over other dudes, often by fighting and showing other dudes that you aren't someone to messe around with. Sadly a lot of dudes who can't assert their dominance over other guys because they are not strong enough, will try to achieve that feeling by dominating woman and/or children sadly.

I understand that woman wanne be with a guy who is able to protect them at all times so therefore are more likely to choose a badboy type of guy because they are strong and able to protect them, but a lot of those are hard and cold because they are made that way. Guys are very hard to eachother and the problem in society is that they aren't capable of showing their feelings and emotions because society has teach them to be tough. Therefore the majority of dudes are fighting emotional pain all by themselves without talking about it and this results into emotionally drained men who suffer a lot by try their best to deal with it by themselves. Woman are often the victim because of that.

Society should change and teach young boys that it's okay to talk about their feeling and emotions because not showing or communicating about the pain and suffering will only result in bad behaviour sooner or later. But right now a guy who is showing emotions are called "weak" and therefore they rather hide their pain then to talk about it

enchantedbrie · Accepted Answer

Part of it is a poor support network or self worth, and part of it is behavior looking like green flags and then slowly turning into red flags. These kinds of guys usually drip confidence and exude leadership, which is really attractive. Those green flags slowly turn into red flags. They start to reveal that they're very controlling and prone to angry outbursts, and even violence. When that happens, some women have a strong enough sense of their worth, good enough role models, or enough input they trust to walk away from the relationship. Others sadly have none of those things and stay in the relationship. When the behavior keeps getting worse we tend to rationalize and self isolate. A lot of women double down on the idea that their man is good by doubting and blaming themselves. Then we push away people who tell us how f***ed up that is.

ApplePie409 · Accepted Answer

I worked in a work release prison. Everyone should be required to do that job for six months of their life. It would change your view on life. During visiting hours, beautiful women would come to visit these low-lifes. It was crazy. I can give you a million examples, but this was the one that crushed me.

Include a caption for your image…A sweet girl didn't have a car, so she rode her long board to visit the guy. She brought him money and gifts. When he was getting close to release, I asked him if he had plans to move in with her. His answer was chilling: "Fuck no, she's just a stupid prison bitch." I've heard this story a million times. And when the guys go back to prison (99% do) the prison bitch will be there for them. But there was a happy ending. He tried to go straight, so the Crips put a bullet in his head.

Apple1996 · Answer

Some men are good for your hole but not good for your soul. These women are sticking by men that are only good for their hole

Finchie40 · Answer

Because she is a loser herself

Kaneki05 · Answer

Some are smartly manipulated.
Some are just dumb.
You would think this is me making it up, but multiple times girl's have told me guys who lie to look better are a good thing and those who lie to try sleep with me are nice.
And I really wish I was making this up but nope there are girls who've tried to make this point.
When you try to point out this is a bad thing for them, they just go no cause they are nice. Yeah... nice to get what they want from you then not care.

ManOnFire · Answer

It's more than just some women, it seems to be terribly common. The reason is because they think they can change or fix these guys, not realizing that being there and tolerating his bullshit is what makes them  not  change. These women have a god complex of believing they are good enough to turn a person around, and then the joke ends up being on them.

laly520 · Answer

breaks my heart each time I witness that

we lost a classmate back in days cuz of some loser

she been a sweet innocent girl n he just came n ruined it all

she stopped coming to school, got pregnant at a very early age then he just left her

Levin · Answer

There's one at work who does something like this. She always claims to love these guys and says they're not bad people. The worst thing is, she doesn't just endanger herself, she endangers people around her.

Unfortunately, there's seldom ever any accountability for women's poor dating choices. Well, except when they get murdered...

Haraklus · Answer

Women are significantly worse at detecting and responding to threats than men. This applies pretty much across the board. As it relates to men, well... Women tend to go for men who make them feel good in, y'know, some kinda way, but they aren't great at filtering which of those men who make them feel good are going to be a threat to their well-being.

It's a sad state of affairs, but I don't think there's much to be done about it.

Minahh · Answer

It's not the women's fault. Never the victim's fault. It's the society's fault for teaching them that them always have to be pleasant and nice to be around that they have to be weak. Also she didn't have proper mother and father figure. Hence the attachment to abusive men and low self-esteem. And lastly the man who is a piece of shit of a person if he can even called that.

JacobJordan · Answer

When you get used to shit you tend to be uncomfortable being treated well.

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

They've already established a connection with those men. Its easier to revert back to the tried and true relationship than put up a fake facade, going through the motions trying to impress someone new that may or may not be better than the last.

Cheapskate · Answer

in my opinion that guy should be on death row, sorry. I guess those women had shitty, abusive dads and don't value themselves at all. It's tragic.

Siri137 · Answer

That's what I don't understand. Maybe they think they can "save" the guy, maybe they believe they deserve to be punished for some reason; I don't know.

handsomelad70 · Answer

First, I'm HELLA GLAD this murdering POS will be in the Cold Bar Hotel for many decades, hopefully without parole.

Seond, some "losers" are quite charismatic, so their girlfriends manage to see a kernel of usefulness in them; that's why they can't free themselves from these Buttheads.( Or Beavises;my boy Jamie Logsdon and I were big fans of "Beavis And Butthead.")

Quigly · Answer

Cause some women are also losers. She very likely had just as many mental problems as he did. For every crazy ass guy there is a crazy ass woman. They always seem to find each other. It's fairly common when I realize a guy has mental problems I wonder what the girl he is with sees in him. I then realize she has serious mental problems too.

It's their extreme insecurities that keep them together. They know nobody else wants to be around them.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Because so many men are losers that they think they are all like that. They don't know any better.

lightbulb27 · Answer

trauma bonding? some women are gluttons for punishment. it's those tangled and warped inner child's.

Likes2drive · Answer

It’s sad , they like bad boys or are just used to that guy, as for the other tragedies it’s human nature and bad luck unfortunately, we have so many types of people in the world and sociopaths

exitseven · Answer

It is low self esteem. I never could understand it.

Billlewis · Answer

Because someone has to pay for her dates with her boyfriends;)

JHAYES317 · Answer

Because maybe they are physically/materially infatuated and don’t actually have the capacity to truly love

Why do some women keep going back to losers?

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