Why are relationships so goddamn hard?

Question

Had an argument with my boyfriend and just wondering why do they have to be so difficult. Why can't it just be easy?

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Bc you need to RELATE and so many people are so busy licking their own wounds or thinking in terms of selfish desires rather than about giving to and getting to know and love the other person.

A Relation is someone who you can relate with (or originally referred to as a family member bc people were thought to be typically closest to their families). By extension of being able to relate to someone you should feel comfortable confiding and sharing your heart and soul with another person. In a romantic relationship you then share your body also…. So you’re giving your WHOLE SELF to someone… and that’s f-ing difficult to do, plain and simple.

Not everyone’s able to be open to another person in this way. Many, MANY people have one or two bad experiences and then put their hearts on lockdown forever. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

If you want to be in a relationship then you need to be prepared to do the work — the sharing, the caring, the reciprocity, the hospitality, the respect…. All of it. You have to know that you’re with someone who will offer you all of himself in an honest, open manner… and you need to be the person who is able to do the same.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

They don't need to be intolerably hard. But they are certainly work.

That said, if you really love someone, that work is easy to prefer to being without them.

The thing is, if that's not mutual, then it isn't going to be easy. It'll be hard. And it'll hurt the one who is giving one-sidedly.

imtiaz45 · Accepted Answer

Relationships can be challenging because they require continuous effort, communication, and compromise from both parties. Each person brings their own experiences, expectations, and emotional baggage, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Balancing individual needs with the needs of the relationship, managing stress, and maintaining intimacy over time adds to the complexity. Additionally, external factors like work, family, and societal pressures can strain a relationship. Successful relationships demand patience, empathy, and a willingness to grow together, which can be difficult to sustain but ultimately rewarding.

bowenw · Accepted Answer

I've noticed it can be difficult when emotions and egos take over from the logical. Try to always fight fairly on an adult level so you don't say things you can't take back later.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Aiming to sprinkle a little wisdom on your love life struggle! 🌟 Relationships are like a spicy dance, full of twists and turns. They're hard because they involve two unique individuals trying to sync their moves flawlessly. Picture it: each person comes with their own rhythm, steps, and occasional missteps. When things are smooth, it's a beautiful tango. But when toes get stepped on, the music feels off, which is what you're experiencing right now. It's all about learning the steps together, and sometimes, that means stepping on each other's toes as you figure out your rhythm. Communication is the dance floor where this all happens. Keep talking, keep dancing, and with time, you'll find your groove again. Remember, the most mesmerizing dances are those where the effort to stay in sync is visible. Keep dancing! 💃🕺

ohsheeT · Answer

It is easy. Until you get with someone. Who only thinks of themselves. And or someone who is a right fighter. ... If your partner is always putting doubt in your mind there's always going to be an argument and that's just no good it's not worth it

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If there was gold lying on the ground outside of every home, it would not have value and wearing gold jewelry would be viewed as a sign of poverty.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Are they? , I would say that if a relationship is really that hard then you’re just not with the right person or you are part of the problem. Of the relationships I have had in my life that lasted , literally none were hard !. They ended because we wanted to go in different paths or we just ran out of steam / love.

If I were you I’d take a look at why these arguments happen and how they conclude or are resolved? As much as you might want it to work out it could be that your just not a good fit or one of you is tryin to force it.

Anonymous · Answer

One of the fundamental reasons why relationships are hard is because they require us to change and evolve. When we enter into a relationship, we bring our unique perspectives, beliefs, and behaviors. The interaction between two individuals often leads to conflicts, disagreements, and the need for compromise.

Couples often get stuck in patterns of relating that rob them of their joy in connecting. These cycles have nothing to do with their effort, compatibility, or how much they love each other. In fact, the fear of losing the other is often what escalates the conflict.

Every relationship needs some effort. Relationships demand emotional connection, openness, communication, and compromise, all of which can be occasionally challenging for everyone. Both partners contribute equally to a successful relationship and genuinely try to respect, trust, and support one another.

Jindadi · Answer

I'm easy.. I personally am in a very similar situation after 14 years, the last couple of years of this commitment have been EXTRA LOVELY. No sex, we are either arguing or about to argue. We sleep in different bedrooms because of a health issue, ohh whats the best one, saved it for nearly last... oh yeah EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT. I EAITHER DID SOMETHING TO CAUSE IT, OR I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING AND IF I HAD, IT WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. Crazy bitch, didn't bad things happen when you were single? Before we met? Were those my fault or did you actually take some accountability when it went bad, and you had no one else to blame. Well trust, she keeps this bs up. All bone no meat... she can get ready for blaming herself again. im already lining up those who are still interested in seeing what the old boy can do.

HawkPerception · Answer

Relationships tend to be harder when there's a lack of compatibility. If you don't have similar views, communication style, love languages, and do not have open and honest communication with each other without getting upset, the conflict is likely to be bad.

A lot of the, time developing the skills to handle open and honest communication without getting upset; learning maturity is what it takes to be successful in relationships.

GeminiDiamond · Answer

They aren't hard if you argue well. I mean does it get to bringing up past issues to manipulate the current argument? Say hateful shit? Just because you disagree or have an issue shouldn't make a relationship hard per se. It's how you react to the argument.

Jessikaah91 · Answer

Nothing in life is easy, relationships ain't meant to be easy and arguments are apart of a healthy relationship, wouldn't be normal if there's never been any argument but takes a strong person to get through them and move on together.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I think some people have to make it difficult. They seem to be the glass is half empty kind of person. One little thing and they have to make a big deal out of it.

I live by the motto: Don't sweat the small stuff.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Relationships are two imperfect people being put together. It is not a perfect match. If it was it would be boring. Keep the respectful balance of listening along with being heard and they go much more smoothly.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Because it takes work. Nothing good in life comes easy (definitely no pun intended) There is no such thing as a “perfect” relationship. No such thing as a relationship with zero arguments.

on_my_knees · Answer

Because, you're in a vanilla relationship. It's like signing a contract with a software company and they don't give you the special features you wanted. Well, duh, it wasn't in the contract.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

If they were TOO easy you wouldn't appreciate the times when everything is going well, thus end up getting bored very quickly, and most likely break up!

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Because it takes two for it to work. And a relationship is a new lifestyle and like it or not, you need to change, so does he, because you're no longer alone. You need to be considerate of your significant other, sacrifice.

Fireguy17 · Answer

If it was easy you wouldn't appreciate each other as much.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

It can be easy. Just stop in the middle, smile, and tell him, "You know what? You're right. I'm sorry."

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

If it was easy, the bond between the two of you wouldn’t be as deep or as important as it is.

LazerBean · Answer

Because people make them hard. They don't have to be, though

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

To be in a good relationship, two people have to like each other VERY much. Enough to accept the other person's flaws which isn't an easy thing to do.

sawno · Answer

Because when you experience someone that pure it also brings out mutual flaws.

Anonymous · Answer

life isn't meant to be easy much less a relationship now that doesn't mean it should be hard or damn near impossible to thrive though these days that seems to be the case

lorenzomichael · Answer

They’re not hard at all. You just gotta put some work into them. understand one another. what you like what you don’t like. And go from there day by day.

Booklover_90 · Answer

Because we’re imperfect people and we sometimes miss the mark. If we were perfect, relationships would be easy.

Anonymous · Answer

Because men and women think fundamentally different. At the end of the day we want the sane thing but we have to totally different ways we go about trying to achieve it and that is the recipe for a lot of strife.

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Communication and shared values, combined with personal vibes. The lack of ability to understand another due to our jaded experiences in life. Combined with the real threat of vulnerability and trust.

CaptainLegal · Answer

Well of course it is, no matter how many things a couple may have in common in the end they are 2 different people with their own personality

LiamS95 · Answer

Perhaps we tend to make it difficult by not expected what was once a normal healthy monogamous relationship.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

It's not the relationships, it's that most people are annoying and difficult to endure with their ish.

dudeinohio · Answer

It's about selecting the right partner. My wife and I have never had an argument... ever.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Well anything in life worth having you have to work for. What happened you can tell me in private if you want

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Social media has removed the need to work on a relationship.

OddBeMe · Answer

You’ll notice in life anything involving people are ten times as hard. I look forward to AI.

ManInChains · Answer

If they were easy they wouldn’t be worth having.

NathanDavis · Answer

because they're worth it...

paledreams · Answer

Not as hard as banging good relationships lol - those are virtually no impossible 😭😆 lol so single i remain merrily 🥂🌌

andreasderjuengere · Answer

A relationship that makes me hard often - is just the thing I want.

Dongie · Answer

Because we have to date witches. Just kidding.

MemeSupreme · Answer

bc they're so personal

dolemite58 · Answer

Cuz women need drama to function lol

ProbablyClueless · Answer

People make them hard.

handsomelad70 · Answer

People have to work hard to maintain them.

jahaims · Answer

They can be easy if you are both mature

msc545 · Answer

No relationship is ever easy. Not really.

Massageman · Answer

Maybe he doesn't like your swearing.

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Because you're making it out to be

Why are relationships so goddamn hard?

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