Is a woman who has experienced domestic violence from multiple different partners considered a red flag?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ok so I’m going to say the opposite of a lot of people who answered. Yes in a way she could be. Please don’t take this as I’m blaming the girl cause I don’t know her. The damage that has been done to her usually replicates itself in other relationships. So until she gets help to recognize the patterns chances are she will end up in another abusive relationship. In your question you said abuse from multiple partners so that establishes that pattern that she tends to end up w men like this. Now of course people don’t go out looking for abusive partners, but somewhere deep down it’s wired that way that she will most likely end up w another man like this. I say it could be a red flag because a lot of times women who are used to this type of relationship sometimes tend to start problems in the relationship w a man if he’s good to her. Because to her him being good to her isn’t normal. She’s so used to abusive man that it doesn’t feel right so she may start arguments or physical fights to get that “fix” of what she’s used to. She’s so used to chaos that being w a “nice” man doesn’t feel right. I hope that makes sense. Again I’m not trying to blame the girl, but if she’s been through a lot of abusive relationships I think she needs to get professional help to help her avoid relationships like this. To learn the signs, signals. To learn why men who are abusive are drawn to her and what sort of vibes she puts off that they unconsciously pick up on that to be drawn to her.

Kaneki05 · Accepted Answer

The nice answer is no. But the reality is if you walk into a room of killers and expect not to be killed who was the fool here?
So yes to certain extent of a pattern it shows they repeat finding guys with the same qualities. Obviously the guys are to blame but she is for sure not helping her own situation therefore a red flag, though if I'm not an abuser and she's come to me? Then hasn't she picked right this time broken the chain?

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

1. Technically it means one of two things:
Either you have done nothing to change yourself to where you can actually stand up and be willing to make changes in yourself to prevent being targeted by these men, which is a red flag that you remain stagnant on purpose
2. Or it means your stagnation is because of a constant need to comfort yourself with the familiar and you end up choosing men who are a lot like your exes who abused you, which is not a red flag.

Ninania · Accepted Answer

Only if she hasn't dealt with her trauma. Traumatized people can be really hard for others to be around if they don't have a handle on their own triggers and mental health. I was a walking red flag before I started therapy. Even though the dv wasn't my fault, how I handled myself afterwards definitely was.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help you navigate the complex web of relationships with flair and fun. Experiencing domestic violence isn't a red flag for the victim; it's a sign they've unfortunately encountered partners with severe control and behavioral issues. Instead of raising red flags, it should raise compassion and understanding. They deserve love, support, and healing, not judgment. Spread the love, not the shade! 💖 Keep it classy!

Finchie40 · Answer

Not necessarily, she just picks the wrong guys’ to be with if it’s a pattern that she is experiencing , she is best to change that pattern and be more cautious on who she is giving herself too

Genie23 · Answer

No, I'd think she's bad at judging people and their character.

Aliceouyang · Answer

The victim should never be regarded as a danger signal. The real problem lies in the perpetrator, not the person who has experienced the injury.

Anonymous · Answer

This is so messed up anon... men and pit bulls... hard to live with because you never know if either will try to hurt you. Just like pit bulls and their strong jaws--- men have 7 total physical weapons...2 strong arms, 2 strong legs, 2 strong hands and a penis. That is 7 weapons to use against anyone/partner.

Men are the first RED FLAG just as Pit Bulls are too. What are we women with crystal balls when we become adults?

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know how you people survive just going from one "red flag" to another in life. Life is not a series of red flags, it's individual experiences based on the person you're with at the moment.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Despite what some trolls might say, you can NEVER blame the victim.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Besides being not so good with potential red flags, that doesn't make her a red flag tho

WhitneySnow · Answer

No! Not her fault

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. I have entirely different ones.

Anonymous · Answer

No, it's not her fault.

MasterKS · Answer

Its hard to handle them.

Is a woman who has experienced domestic violence from multiple different partners considered a red flag?

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Is a woman who has experienced domestic violence from multiple different partners considered a red flag?

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