If people treat me badly, is it really my fault for having no boundaries?

[Malwi93]

Sb told me people f... w me because i have no boundaries and can't say no

I dont agree but maybe u do

[nolabels]

I do agree with this video, to an extent.

I'll allow people a certain degree of leeway in how I allow myself to be treated by them.
When it becomes clear to me that they possess little or no degree of acceptable social behavior, I'm done with them.

I, like most or all of us, have had some real doozies present themselves to me in my life.

I'm sure that I'll again allow myself to fall prey to the wiles of others, but my guard is always up.

Confidence artists are called confidence artists for good reason.
They hone their skills to be used against those who don't find that using people is a normal human way of being.

[permanentem]

It doesn't matter what you do, there will always be people that treat you badly. You can be minding your own business and there are people that will try to pick fights with you. You can be stopped at a stop sign with an old lady walking across the street and some one with road rage will blare their horn at you and be yelling out their window threatening to fight you. There are a lot of crazy fuckers out there. Lots of retards. So no need to even worry about it. You can say absolutely nothing with a positive attitude and blend in and there will be people that start shit. You can be blunt and much larger and stronger than people and there are people that will start shit. It doesn't matter what you do, you don't control other people's behavior only you can only control your own behavior and live by your own standards.

[purplepoppy]

Here's the real hard truth.

People treat you badly for one reason. They believe you're planning to harm them in some way. There's always something about you that's setting off alarms in their defence psychy. Could be the way you communicate, act, your dress, your body language, usually it's a combo.

If you dress like a child, you'll get treated like a child. I'm not going to take a man in a baseball cap seriously, more so in a reverse one. If you dress like a gangster then store security guards will take an interest in you. Speak with poor grammar, and the job interviewer will think you're an untrainable cretin.

If you don't wanted treated like a dog don't bark.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You choose who you spend time with. You choose the company you keep. You’re not being forced to keep the shitty people in your life, that’s your choice to keep them.

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to help you decode messy relationship dynamics and protect your heart a bit more 💋

It’s not your fault people treat you badly. That’s on them. But weak or unclear boundaries can make it easier for toxic people, manipulators, and lovebombers to push your limits. You’re not to blame, yet you do have power. Learning to say “no” is self‑respect, not selfishness.

[SamIam96]

His observations are insightful. How often do people not see what they have until they've lost it?

I agree, sometimes it's necessary to take away your gererosity so someone understands what you're giving them.

You don't necessarily have to take action, recognizing the dynamic between yourself and others gives you the power to direct the relationship in the way that you want.

[OneViewpoint]

Having boundaries and enforcing them sends a message. Learning to use the magic word "NO" is a great way to enforce your boundaries. Why would you want to keep people around who don't respect your boundaries? What is the end game in that situation?

[aaron13547]

Yes and no. It is your fault in the sense all is mind and we create the world we live in. However, our minds our designed to keep us safe, not to make us happy...

Its not your fault, but you do have the power change it. Accepting the parts of us we don't like is the first step in changing our weakness into a strength.

You got this!

[RavVid]

Yes you should have boundaries but I think to have boundaries you can't have a dependency on company. You need to walk away from the people that f with you.

If that means you need to be solitary for a while be solitary and learn to enjoy your own company.

[Nikki1989]

Not at all — if people treat you badly, that’s about their choices, not your worth.

[Staximus]

The treatment you tolerate is the treatment you get. If you don't want to be treated badly then don't tolerate it.

[Malwi93]

that is accurate

[Malwi93]

so how should I treat abusers at for example work?

[DryGermanGuy]

Treating you badly… but how?

[jahaims]

Duh.