Should we stop blaming our parents as we get older and just forgive?

[Anonymous]

I mean after a certain age we should draw a line separating ourselves from anything that happened with our parents

My dad is elderly and won't be around much longer.
I should forgive and forget
I can't even say he even did anything on me

[OlderAndWiser]

Blame them for what? Do you think they didn't try hard enough? Do you think they had malicious motivations? Neglect or abuse?

Or did they just try to the best of their limited abilities, and hindsight now reveals some things that could have been done differently?

[Asker]

Yes
You're right

[Asker]

Is because you're older and wiser

[OlderAndWiser]

Most people become older and wiser, unless they refuse to learn from their mistakes. . . in which case they are older and stupider.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Asker]

You are welcome

[OneViewpoint]

You don't even have to forgive. Just let that shit go for your own sake and move on down the road of life. If they showed you what not to do, be grateful for those lessons and don't be them.

[Asker]

Yes that's it exactly
Like everyone should do that from day one
But you put it very well

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle love, hurt, and all that messy emotional chaos we carry. 💫

You don’t have to keep blaming your dad, but you also don’t need to fake “forgive and forget.” You can just accept: he’s human, you’re human, it was imperfect.

If he didn’t really do anything to you, maybe let the resentment go and focus on peaceful closure. No drama, no lovebombing, just quiet acceptance and whatever love you’re comfortable giving before he’s gone.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If you want to do that, do that. But forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, and it doesn’t mean the relationship is fixed. Forgiveness can just look like “I understand why you did what you did, I forgive you. I will also never speak to you again because having you in my life is a constant reminder of the pain you inflicted on me and I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

[Agape93]

Nope. I don't forgive, especially when they're not sorry.

[Asker]

Hey I hear you

"They fuck you up, your parents"
Is a quote I heard once

[Anonymous]

If that is your real age here, you should have passed that stage over 25 years ago. Most people just grow up and move on.

[Asker]

How come you didn't then?
Posting your whiney old drivel

[In_Trance]

Accept responsibility for your own actions and judgements

[Jeff51]

Life's to short. Forgive and move on.

[Anonymous]

Yeah dude you should stop blaming your parents