Is my boyfriend just trying to make me feel better by lying?

[Anonymous]

(sorry guys I can’t post about this topic since I’m not xper 2 yet so I’m hoping you can figure out what pi stands for)

My boyfriend went from a PI everyday relationship with his ex, to having PI maybe once a week in our relationship. It makes me feel insecure a lot, especially since he has a very high drive and I do not. In his relationship before me (after I had inquired about it), my boyfriend had said he would have PI with his ex very frequently, once or twice every single day since she also had a high PI drive.

Now, we are in a relationship but I don’t have a high PI drive. We have PI maybe once or twice a week. Sometimes even longer. He’s always asking to do it but I tell him no because obviously I don’t have as high of a drive. When I had asked him how he felt about the difference in PI in relationships he said “since we don’t do it that often it makes it special”, while with his ex, it apparently “got boring” since they did it so often. I honestly don’t believe that at all. If he wants to have PI so frequently and obviously it feels good, how could it get boring?

Is he just trying to make me feel better about it? Or is he being honest?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to be your slightly flirty big-brother coach who decodes relationship drama and calms your overthinking mind 😏

He’s doing a mix of truth and soothing. Yes, people can get bored doing it every day, even if it feels good. Frequency doesn’t equal emotional connection. With you, he probably genuinely likes the “special” vibe but also doesn’t want to pressure you.

Real red flag would be sulking, cheating, or porn-obsession, not him reassuring you. Trust him, but also talk openly about middle ground: schedule fun, low-pressure intimacy so his needs and your comfort both matter.

[ohsheeT]

I'm curious why anybody would want to talk about their EX

What they did was their business What you in Hindu is your guys's business And to throw that in your face It's just wrong

And what I really think he should do is whenever you guys do have sex that he makes it all about you and not his ex

I'm sure he's a smart guy but he's blowing it because all he would have to do is understand you understand what you like and he could make your sex drive way higher but in order to do that he needs to know what he's doing he needs to be able to read your eyes your color of your cheeks the way you move the way you moan every single time because you're talking to him without words when you do all the above

He should really just stop for a minute and think about what he's saying and what he's doing because it makes no sense to me in order for you to have a higher sex drive yes make you want it that means he needs to end you know what you like what you want what you desire is what your fantasies are

Because it sounds like to me that he only makes it about himself... gets on gets off I don't know if that's true or not but that was kind of keep my sex drive very low too

But to answer your question I have no clue what he's trying to do whatever it is it seems like it's for him and not you and that's kind of sad

[AviatorTom]

Only he knows what he really means. Have you asked him?

He could be trying to justify his relationship with you, who he really likes, but deep down, he would like more PI. Perhaps you could suggest a compromise for him. You talk dirty to him while watching him masturbate? Or, you might want to consider giving him oral when he asks. It's not PI, but it's better than nothing.

For your relationship to succeed, you two will have to find ways to deal with your different sex drives. If you don't, it will be time for both of you to move on and find someone more compatible.

[Asker]

He does love me, that I do not doubt. I also thought about trying to be more open to physical intimacy (PI) for him, but upon asking him he said if we did increase how often we had PI it would also lose its “magic” to him apparently. Im not sure if he said that just to deter me from comparing myself to his ex, or if he actually thinks that.

[DishLady]

Possibly he's lying bc you're making such a big deal about having a lower sex drive or whatever motivates you to be less excited than he is to do this. What do you expect him to do? Tell you that you stink and leave you? Pfft.

Possibly he's not lying bc he's teaching you what he likes and gets to have you do what he wants. Though it's less often, if you're giving him what he wants then he's happy.

[SueShe]

I have no idea what "PI" stands for as the internet is not giving me any results for those letters. Nonetheless, I presume that you mean fornication.

I cannot spead from experience but I would assume that fornicating every day must start to feel monotonous and boring because, let's be honest, it is always the same. It's like watching a Western movie. You have seen one, you have seen them all.

Having a high sex drive is probably not that healthy and stepping down and limiting copulation to perhaps 2-3 times a month is probably much healthier.

Since he is a person that wants to copulate often but is not able to due to your lack of "lust", I would say that he is just trying to make you feel better and that white lie bears a high risk for cheating because he is not getting what he wants.

[Asker]

You would presume correct, thank you! And thank you for the detailed response. I would say his risk of cheating is pretty low, but of course it is never zero unfortunately. I do know he loves and cares for me immensely, so I can’t imagine it ever happening but I don’t want to be neglectful of odds.

[dudeinohio]

@SueShe. You again. Talking about something you have no experience in..

[Taranis_Thunor]

You're a 24 year old virgin girl? You just earned a follow 😉

[Calyptomaniac]

He's probably trying to convince himself moreso than you but he seems to accept it at least. But it's probably to make you feel better too, yeah

[Nikki1989]

90% most likely, yes. Men will always say what they think the woman wants to hear. My father taught me that lesson when I was very young, and it has been proven correct dozens of times.

[MissSunshine2]

Yes, he's trying to reassure you also that he loves you and he's not just with you for sex. That sounds like a keeper.

[Taranis_Thunor]

How is that a lie? The less you do something the more special it becomes. When you're saturated in sex your dopamine receptors will get bored and it'll be less romantic.

You shouldn't even be using contraception to begin with.

[Anonymous]

I don't know your boyfriend, but maybe he is just trying to make you feel better.

[Abbycado]

No idea what PI is. Other than the number

[Asker]

Physical Intimacy, sorry. I tried to leave a disclaimer since I’m not xper 2, which apparently is needed for adult topics

[Abbycado]

Wow, can’t even say that? Wtf is this site coming to?

I’ve been with current boyfriend for two years, almost. Sex has definitely dropped in frequency. This is my first sexually active relationship. So, I don’t know how normal it is. It did happen.

[Asker]

Oo almost congratulations on the two years then! My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 1/2 years now! But yeah, kind of silly of that rule, but I guess it’s understandable in a way.

If you don’t mind me asking, were you guys fairly sexually active in the beginning of your relationship then? Was it a mutual decision to lessen the frequency?

[Abbycado]

Yes, we were more active in the beginning. It wasn’t a discussion to cut back. Just kinda happened. He is my first, too.

Thanks for the congrats! 💕

[noohair]

You are not a good match...

[Asker]

Why do you say that?

[blackeagle007]

What’s PI?