How to react when your boyfriend is meeting his ex?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for 2 months and everything is perfect! Except he has this friend (who happens to be an ex girlfriend) who told him she can't be in his life anymore because she's still in love with him and it's too hard for her.

She contacted him earlier this week and told him she wants to meet with him to talk to him about something. I'm not thrilled about the idea of my boyfriend meeting with his ex that wants him back. I don't think he quite gets why I'm upset and I know he's just trying to do the right thing with her too and I love him for that.

I would never forbid him to see her or talk to her but do you think my feelings are justified? Please help..I don't want to overreact if I'm just being dumb because I don't want to mess things up with him...or should I at least tell him how I feel about it?...THOUGHTS?

[vmw2008]

I think what he's doing is inappropriate. For the most part, people should let their ex's go when in another relationship. Choosing to meet up with her when she says she's still in love with him is unreasonable to me. What could he possibly have to talk about with her? What will their talk "solve"? She's trying her best to pull him away. He may seem like he's just trying to be a nice guy, but in reality, he's enjoying this and there's always more to it than that. I would suggest the following: He tells her they can't talk anymore and continue to ignore her from there, or you go with him to meet this ex and that's the end of it.

If he still doesn't understand your point, reverse the situation on him. Ask him, "so it's OK then in the future for me to meet up with guys alone who are in love with me?" He may say it won't bother him right when you ask, but simply say "Ok, that's good to know." He will mull this over in his head and realize he doesn't like it at all.

[MzNatalie]

Yeah, I am a pretty straight forward person and would definitely tell him what I thought about it. how is meeting up with an ex that still wants to bang him okay exactly? If he wants to go then he can take me with him. If it turns into a huge ordeal then hasta...there is the door. For real I'd break up with him because why exactly does he need to meet her without me there? The least he could do is ask if you wanted to go. He is disrespecting you so f.u.c.k him.

[Anonymous]

Yes its normal. Also you do have to be able to trust him. If you feel more comfortable expressing to him how you feel then go for it but let him know that you do trust him. Anything else that is the opposite that would make a guy want to go and do whatever even more. The good thing is at least he told you that she wanted to meet up instead of not saying anything at all. So he was honest.

[Asker]

I think he genuinely is trying to do the right thing...which is why I felt bad being upset with him.

[Opinion Owner]

At least he was honest with you. Just trust him. Better yet don't even say anything after he has met up with her. He is with you now. And if there tends to be other meet ups then you should definitely be concerned.

[esper88]

Your feelings are definitely justified. The way the male mind works- it's reasonable to be suspicious.

I'd say to go with him to meet her. You might be a third wheel and it might be a little awkward, but that's better than finding out woops they had sex or something. If I was going to meet my ex (which would result in a similar heated discussion) I'd definitely bring my current girlfriend along just because I think it's the right thing to do. I don't think it's too unreasonable of you to ask to accompany him.

[Asker]

Interesting perspective...the thought of going with him never crossed my mind. I don't even think he's considered that as an option but I don't know how comfortable I would be with that. I think I trust him enough to go alone and it would almost be unfair to her to tag along without even knowing what she wnts to talk to him about...or maybe I'm just being too nice :S

[esper88]

I think you're being too nice. If my girlfriend was meeting her ex there's no way in hell I'm letting her go alone, even though it would be a strange situation. There's too much at stake to just let this situation go unchecked. I mean, I trust my girlfriend like crazy, but I'd still go with her just to be safe. You don't want to lose your boyfriend to one bad decision.

[martyfellow]

Yes your feelings re justified. Let him know exactly how you feel about it. Maybe you should go along when he meets her?

[sweetycakes]

Why would he need to go, its an ex girlfriend they don't have a baby together there's no reason what so ever for him to go he should tell her to f*** off that he's with someone new. I would never allow this there's only one reason why he would meet her and that's if he still has feelings for her. Think about it if you wanted to meet an ex boyfriend what would be the real reason in your mind .

[Anonymous]

1) Your feelings are justified. It is a normal feeling of jealousy or worry.

2) As long as you trust your boyfriend, there is nothing to worry about

[Asker]

So do you think I should say something to him or just leave it alone for the time being...or at least till it comes up again?

[Opinion Owner]

Do not say anything at least until it comes up again.

[originalmountaindew]

How did this turned out?

[Anonymous]

Play it cool like a penguin.