Are true connections rare like shooting stars?

Question

A few questions I would like you to answer describing the deepest connection you've shared with someone...

What was it like?

How did it make you feel?

How quickly did you connect?

Did you ever find another connection like it?

Do you think true connections are rare, like kismet?

Feel free to add anything else you'd like to share.

InquisitiveMale · Accepted Answer

This is a question open to allot of interpretation depending on your character and how you define a true connection. I'm going to go ahead and assume this isn't purely restricted to lovers. I should define it before I answer your questions otherwise risk my cohesion.

I would define a true connection as someone you share your true self with; complete openness, honesty, and vulnerability. A shared "oneness" in a manor. Not someone you can just be yourself with but also someone who you're willing to let know the inner makings that created the person you are today. Someone who knows the secrets we all have about ourselves but try our best to hide.

Using that definition I've had several and varying experiences in each case.

The first was the obvious first romance. It was intoxicating and highly addictive. Because it was my first experience in life with this kind of relationship it felt very free. I didn't worry about the consequences of sharing information. I guess I was a little naive looking back. I'd best describe it as feeling of freedom, but a child's prospective of freedom. The connection grew over a span of years. We knew each other from around the age of seven to sixteen. Although the connection might have grown slowly from childhood it unfolded like a rush of water between the ages of twelve to fourteen. Oddly enough not during the duration of the romantic relationship from fourteen-sixteen.

The second was my best friend at that time. The guy who helped me through the ruins of that relationship. It was much of the same childlike freedom but with miniscule reminisce of reservation. I was slower to open up. I did so with some reservation, over a span over several years, starting from about the time my childhood crush evolved into a romantic relationship up until my late teens. I don't really talk to him much anymore, I've moved cities numerous times since then, but we still get together for some drinks and shared stories once every year or two.

My third experience with a true connection is still developing. The feelings mixed with it are much more complex then they were in a previous life. There are small fragments of that childlike like freedom I used to experience mixed in with the reservation experienced in my second encounter, but also guilt and anxiety among a cornucopia of other emotions. It's a complete mixed bag really. It's like re-living the emotions of the past but mixing in the emotions of the current. It's developing slow in comparison to my two previous experiences. I'll share a detail or two then stop, grow the relationship, then share a couple more details. It's much more gradual and progressive.

So to answer the main question of this thread, yes, I think true connections are rare. I also think they decrease in frequency the older you become. Or maybe more accurately that they take longer to develop and thus leave little room for a quick succession of true connections.

iXenomorph · Accepted Answer

Ugh, I'm so sick of the typical response here. Lovey dovey bullsh*t. Gone are the days when men could be amongst men, bound in brotherhood. Now it's all "I've never felt this way about that girl blah blah blah."

I'm one of the rare few today who have a sworn brother. To my disdain, the concept of sworn brotherhood has all but faded since antiquity. We live in a modern world where men care about p**** and women care about cock. People narrowly focus their attentions on the tender affectations of love, and fail to develop bonds characterized by shared grit, shared hardship, shared heartiness, shared defiance, shared strength, shared ideals and goals, with people of the same sex. If my sworn brother lived a couple hundred years ago, we'd easily be charging across a battlefield side by side. This poem fits my sentiments quite nicely:

Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?

Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?

Where is the hand on the harp-string, and the red fire glowing?

Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?

They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;

The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.

Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning?

Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?

My brother and I connected instantly, but our bond has only strengthened over time. He completes me in ways a woman never will. Not that we're gay or anything. It's just that there are some things we can never discuss in front of other people, and some things we will never discuss in front of women. We've both been betrayed by women, had our hearts broken, had fate cruelly snatch love away, had to move across several countries apart, yet him and I have always been sworn brothers, and have always had each other for council and solace.

What was it like?

- The most profound acquaintance I ever will experience, and I foresee that it will derive more things that love could ever show me.

How did it make you feel?

- Privileged, honored.

Did you ever find another connection like it?

- No. Even deep love pales in comparison.

Do you think true connections are rare?

- Yes, but that's what makes them so valuable.

This Thanksgiving he had no money to come visit me. I told him to stfu and let me pay for his trip. He did. His room mate, upon hearing that I offered to pay $550 to get him over to me, just for 5 days, plus housing and food expenses, told him that I was "just being nice" and "didn't really mean it." He didn't understand. Nobody understands.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i don't fall for guys easily I've only liked may be two in my life thus far, I felt the deepest connection with the 2nd. I totally didn't see it coming either, and its so weird I can't even describe it. I had just started college and had a huge lecture class and for some reason my eyes landed on him out of like 200 students. its like some spirit was controlling me or something or a guardian angel telling me to focus my attention on him. I don't know why I kept looking at him, the funny thing is I didn't even think he was that cute...like it definitely wasn't lust ya know?

we ended up meeting through classes and mutual friends, and its like he had noticed me too in class, we were both wired in some odd way. and he was impatient to meet me so he just came up to me and said hi I'm ____ nice to meet you. and I was secretly so happy he was as anxious to meet me as I was to meet him...and we became friends. and with a matter of like 3 months I had fallen for him so hard. I trusted him and felt like he was my other half. we had so many unusual things in common, its like we were so alike. we both knew what the other was thinking and we had nonverbal conversations. he knew what I was feeling without me saying anything and he knew what to say at the right time like one time I was upset he wasn't paying attention to me and he came over to me and said he wasn't feeling good that day sick and stuff and that he will call me the next day and it was so adorable because I didn't even say anything to him he just knew what was on my mind. and same with me, one time he was upset in class over his grades and I just knew somehow and I cheered him up and said don't worry you'll do well on the final and I just knew what was in his head.

of course not every love story has happy endings. he ended up losing interest in me somehow and decided to ignore me and things just went downhill from there. most probably because were not the same religion, which is a huge problem for him. I didn't mind but for him I guess his family would never approve. and yea it was sad. I was never able to move on completely, never able to forget him. even worse he would still try to connect with me throughout college and win me back its like he couldn't let go of me either, but when it came down to me asking him out he would get scared and make excuses and couldn't commit. he wanted me but then couldn't be with me.

i stopped talking to him. got way too hurt in the process and I needed to get out of the toxic relationship. he even disrespected me several times and broke my heart and flirted with other girls in front of me. d*** move.

zombiefood · Accepted Answer

I've made a lot of really deep, honest and pure connections in my life. I just always surrounded myself with people who were honestly, simply, good. There's no other way to say it. They were kind, caring, open, loving all that junk but they were so much so that they went past that and earn the highest praise I can give, they are good people. I've met dozens and dozens of people in my life who all hold a piece of my heart. People who I loved from the first time I met them. The kind of people who would stub their toe and I'd sit down and cry with them because we were so close I could feel that pain, no matter how small.

And not just boyfriend or what not, just simple friends as well. There are so many people in my life that I feel honored to have known that they're more like grains of sand on the beach or trees in a forest. I manage to find good people and then help bring out the best in them, and they do the same for me. I'm an only child but my freshmen year of college I met a kid and ten minutes through the introduction I knew he was the big brother I've always wanted.

So to answer your questions-

What's it like: Amazing, incredible... I feel so connected, so surrounded. I can constantly feel this giant network of people who, regardless of how long it's been since we've talked, I could call any time and hang out and it would be as though nothing had changed. I feel like I've given out little parts of my soul and sewn parts of theirs onto mine in it's place and each time I feel like a better, stronger person.

How did it make you feel: loved, accepted, appreciated, embraced, warm, comforted... Like warm, dense brownies right out of the oven. Just absolute wholeness, completeness and perfection... also delicious?

How quickly did you connect: Most people I connect with it happens instantaneously. I meet them, we lock eyes, share a smile, crack a joke, start a game and that's it. Connections for me are either there or not and if they happen it's fast as light.

Did you ever find another like it: Like I said I've had dozens.

Are they rare: no... not for me, at least. I'm a very open person, a very loving person and a very accepting (if naive) person and so connections are easy. I connect with just about any one I sense is a good person, which aren't are rare as you'd think.

louiseee · Accepted Answer

It was amazingly indescribable. We clicked so well that all of the corny sayings like "the cheese to my macaroni", "the stripes on my candycane", "the mail to my box" made since. I felt like we understood each other. I felt complete, safe, special. I loved like I never loved before. It was a different, fresh, pure, innocent love. The attraction was insane, mindblowing, intense. Physically and mentally- I felt that I could never get enough. We had the same sense of humor, we just got along so well. He knew when I was lying, he knew when something was wrong. He was protective. It felt like fate. Head over heels. Excitement, passion, fear. You want it to last so badly that when you think of it ending, your chest aches. Yes, you are able to understand that you can find some one else.. but at the same time, you would just rather have this work out, even if you could find some one more attractive or funny, in your mind this is the one. The one you want forever. The one you don't mind growing old with. The one you look forward to seeing. The one were driving only five minutes to see them again is too long. The one you want to wake up with. The one that can fart and puke on you and you don't give a flying f***. It's so amazing and scary, and the only reason it is scary is because every so often you think of what life would be like if they left. If you lost that one that understood every nook and cranny of you. It will make your chest literally ACHE. An actually pain from your own emotions. Physical pain from something that didn't touch you.

I know when I saw him, that first time I saw him, I decided that was the man I was going to marry.

I have not found another connection like this, but I am still with the boy that I am connected with.

Yes, I believe what I feel is rare.

zeroth88 · Answer

During my student life, I've experienced 2 kinds of connections.

The first connection is the connection you make when talking to people you have in common with. The commonality can be made aware of without notice but it normally happens when you surprise yourself at your ease of interacting with the other person. Only last for a few seconds. You talk and talk, then you realize and think to yourself "hang on a minute... this is proper talking! Yea this person is cool". You would be expecting this connection again with the same person but it usually doesn't happen the very next time you talk. Can be felt with many people when you understand them more. Leads to friendship and stability

The second connection is rarer and, if you want, much more empowering. Its the connection you feel when you're both in the same room. Call it a crush or mutual wanting. In contrast to the calming zen like feel of the first connection, this connection makes you feel intense and bothered. The connection can be made even without speaking with that person. Just staring in their eyes and smiling will do it. This connection only happens with one person in your life at a time. Some experience with only one person in their lifetime. Leads to love, hate, happiness, sadness, future planning, suicidal thoughts... foolishness. Volatile stuff.

... then there's Facebook

GoodMemory32 · Answer

Look at it through the metaphor. A shooting star is not rare, it is only rare to us because of our short lifetimes. If we had the eyesight and the lifespan we could see them all the time and they would lose their rarity. The truth is that love would be like that too if it was the rarity we see it as. It is magical when we think of it as some treasure difficult to obtain.

Here's a few examples.

1. This girl was one of the tops.

It was a dream that I couldn't wake up from

We connected in a few moments

I never found a connection like it (everyone is different to be around) but I had connections that felt similar.

I think the true connection is a high standard. You maybe setting yourself up for something different.

These things are rare, yet they are not. A moment or those connections are easy, but to have a long lasting one is difficult. You have to remember that being around someone all the time is difficult and in a rarity it is being around one that just makes you want to be around them more often. An even greater difficulty is that fact that you want them to feel the same way.

So to correct your metaphor, it is more like two comets crashing into each other or something of that liking.

Hope you find it, I think we all are, B.

NotJustAnotherGuy · Answer

What was it like? And how did it make you feel?

Horrible and great. Happiness and fear. Like skydiving.

How quickly did you connect?

Weeks/Months

Did you ever find another connection like it?

I've found two so far. Both of my exes.

Do you think true connections are rare, like kismet?

No. There's a brilliant side to most everyone out there. The rare part is letting yourself cling like a barnacle to someone. It's not easy to become dependent (to some extent) on someone's warmth, and to do so makes you vulnerable, insecure, jealous, afraid.. but oddly enough makes you happy in some strange, potentially tormenting way.. If I could time travel and pit myself against myself when I was with each ex, both would die to prove they loved their girlfriend more. But a different time, a different feeling. I would of contently loved either of them forever, hadn't I caught both of them cheating on me. I couldn't be with either of them after that. But that doesn't change the fact that when I was with them, I was still happy and in love-- and this is just to say that a deep connection is as easy as attaching yourself, finding a deep connection that'll last forever.. well that's a bit more rare, and perhaps more to do with just luck. Just luck that no man, woman, parent, sibling, financial crisis, dream or anything else got in the way before death.

Confused145 · Answer

What was it like and how did it make you feel?

It was confusing. I did not know what to say. I started stuttering or just not talking and blushing when around her. I was feeling weird sensation like weak legs or the butterfly feeling in the stomach. She was my first crush and girlfriend back when I was 17.

2. How quickly did you connect and did you find a connection like that?

We did not connect fast. I had to work to get her attention. Also, it took awhile to get over my nervousness when around her. Anyways, I think it took a whole 3 months till I could officially call her my girlfriend. She was an amazing person, but we called it off after I had to go to college. I did find such connection in college, although I never thought it would happen. Perhaps the world is bigger than I thought.

3. Do you think tru connections are rare?

I think they are rare. I still feel nostalgic when I look at our pictures. My current girlfriend is beautiful and sweet, but I don't think she can ever make me forget my first. I don't invest so much emotions in my relationships anymore, (maybe that or just that she was my first) is why I think true connection is rare.

ShootingStar5 · Answer

1. Indescribably wonderful. The funny thing is he was right in front of my face for 8 years but I didn't know him too well and I didn't think he was the kind of guy I was looking for.

2. Happy, content, excited, loved, giddy. Basically every positive emotion you can think of rolled into one. But also a bit of worry (what if we break up and I never feel like this again?)

3. I felt a unique connection with him after I got to know him fairly well, I think it's impossible to recognize a truly unique and deep connection otherwise. And that was after about a month of hanging out.

4. Nope. We're both a lot a like. We have a ton of stuff in common, similar personalities, and we have pretty much the same mindset on most of the major things. Which makes it easy for me to understand his side of things when we argue (which is very rare). I honestly don't think there's a better match for me. At least not with anyone I'd run into in my lifetime. I feel like our brains operate on the same wavelengths or something because sometimes we're aware of things that the other needs without them even saying anything.

5. Absolutely. People are so vastly different that it's hard to find someone who's compatible with you, never mind someone you can understand perfectly and connect with on a deep level.

heavenonearth · Answer

I know a lot of people here are talking about connections between lovers, but the deepest connection I've experienced yet has been with my best friend.

We clicked very quickly, and our friendship's endured over the years despite distance, long periods of time where weren't able to talk, issues between families, etc. I can talk to her about anything, and vice versa. Often words aren't even necessary, and silence between us is comfortable and familiar. Spending time with her feels easy as breathing, like everything's where it should be. It feels great to know there's someone in this world who gets me completely, someone I can understand fully, and someone who I can count on anytime, anywhere. I'd do anything for her, and I trust her, even with things I'm insecure about or ashamed of.

We've been through a lot together, and it seems like no matter how bad it gets we're always there for each other. I remember when she finally decided enough was enough and moved out of her parents' house. I really couldn't have been more proud of anyone, and I did everything in my power to help and support her. Getting past hardships together has made us much closer; we know each other so well by now.

It really amazes me how it was possible to form such a deep connection like this with someone, and how it was with her that I discovered a bond so strong, out of the many other people I've come into contact with. And no, I haven't experienced it with anyone else. It all started about 10 years ago, when she saw me on a swing by myself and asked me to play tag with her. At the time I had no idea that such a simple, friendly, and childlike act would grow into so much more.

I think they're rare, yes, but in the sense that most of our relationships with people never amount to anything as meaningful. The few that do you really have to hold on to and treasure.

KERMlT · Answer

Spend a night outside in Texas away from the city and you will see that shooting stars aren't exactly rare. I counted one every 6 seconds or so.

1) Ineffable

2) Elated, complete, euphoric

3) Clicked instantaneous but it was about 5 months before I realized I was in love. For her it was shorter than that.

4) Yes, once before though we weren't a perfect match.

5) I don't really believe in fate per se. Destiny makes me get all squirmy also. I believe in Karma which is ironic since the mere definition of it is 'Destiny or fate, following as effect from cause'.

Soulmates are out there but some aren't healthy ones. My first one was with a woman who wanted to change me. Everything I was against I was changing to make her happy which goes against my nature. My willpower was broken because of blinding love.

I talk about making love sometimes and this is what I mean. Intimacy with this soul mate is beyond comparison to anything else. If everyone who was married to their soulmate, I bet that infidelity would be near zilch. But people settle and give up looking for that perfect someone. Sure they might not be perfect in the sense like Jesus or whatever, but perfect for me. :)

elements · Answer

Just FYI: the deepest connection I've shared with someone has been my best friend.

I don't know how to explain what it's like. I guess we're just really, really close friends. We know each other very well, and we share similar values. She is the only person I've met that sees the world the same way I do. It definitely is a nice feeling - she is the best person I know. I never, ever feel like I'm ever truly alone because she's been there for me countless times over the years (and vice verse). We connected pretty quickly. We met in high school and were best friends pretty much instantly. Obviously our friendship grew with time, but I never felt uncomfortable around her. We just meshed well right off the bat.

No, I haven't had another connection like that. I don't know if they're rare, but I do hope I can have a similar connection with a boyfriend one day.

It's nice having such a close friend that I don't have to pretend around. No matter my mood, no matter how stupid I am sometimes, regardless of what's occurring in both our lives, she always accepts me and has never made me feel like I wasn't important, which is probably why she's my best friend.

Sayaka1202 · Answer

Sorry for not answering most of the questions. In my opinion there seem to be layers of compatibility. It is not too difficult to find a partner with low - moderate levels of compatibility with you. It does not take much to form those basic forms of connections relating to human needs; the need for love, companionship, respect, the need to wanted and desired. Then there are more rare forms of connection. Beyond the previous this include shared passions, interests, hobbies, sexual and physical attraction towards each other. Then I think the most rare form of connection with the highest level of compatibility includes all the previous aspects, but also includes a mutual understanding of each others thinking, desires and perceptions. A  behavior al connection that as Utada Hikaru describes as like 'apple and cinamon'. Two people get on with minimal friction and even if they are not the same, their mutual understandings of each other means their reactions to each other are near perfect. This kind of relationship I have only had with 2 people in my life, and it is really rare in my opinion.

Anonymous · Answer

@All the annoying people commenting that shooting stars aren't rare, stop being so pedantic! You know what she meant.

As for the question, ask me a while back and I would've said heck no! Those things don't exist!

I was wrong though.. Those love songs and everything finally make sense!

I was with my ex when I met him. He started working at the same place as me, we got on okay and I shouldn't of thought anything of it - we get new people in all the time.

But I started hoping to catch him for a few minutes after work or keeping my fingers crossed that we were on the same lunch break.

It didn't feel like normal attraction, though, I can't explain it but I guess I just wanted to smile when I was around him. It just made me happy to be in his presence.

Thought nothing of it, carried on with my boyfriend. At our job we have two months off, and I didn't think he'd come back after it - somehow this hit me so hard. He did though and I was so happy.

Things went downhill with my boyfriend - nothing to do with this guy, you understand, it just wasn't working. But we did start spending time together, just sitting with each other for half hour after work. Half hour became an hour, then two, then three.. It was mad.

But it was the same as before, I just felt happy around him.

We're together now :) Never been so sure that I loved someone. I fell head over heels for him (almost literally, but that's another story!)

I guess it started straight away, as soon as we met, but it built into what it is over time.

I don't know if they're rare or not, but I'd like to think not. It's nice to think everyone can find someone they just feel relaxed and happy around.

(It is taking over my life though, for the last year I think about him almost 24/7!)

kittykett · Answer

The connection I have with my boyfriend is unlike anything I have ever felt for someone. It's like being head over heels in love with your best friend. It's waking up in the morning and not feeling fully dressed if you haven't given him a kiss. It's feeling completely lost if he isn't standing by your side...even when you don't really need him there. It's like looking into his eyes and seeing everything you ever hoped for in a man manifested in one single person.

It makes me feel like no matter what happens to me, as long as I have him, nothing can touch me. It makes me feel like there is someone out there in control of my heart and the best feeling is knowing that he takes meticulous care of it. As cliche as this is going to sound, it makes me feel complete. Like the part of me that was always missing is with me now and is never going to leave me alone.

We connected pretty quickly. The first date we went on was just instant chemistry. Not love or anything but he just got me like no one ever had before. And now after 11 months we are virtually the same person...in different bodies...with different personalities (if that makes sense lol).

I have, to this day, never felt a connection with anyone the way I do with him. I have best friends and I have people that I love but when the person that you love becomes your best friend there is nothing like it.

I do think true connections are rare but only because too often people settle for less than that firework enducing connection. That kind of connection takes time to build and often does not present itself in the first person to step into our lives. I do believe connections like this only happen a couple if not only once in a person's life but I do think everyone is capable of experiencing a true connection with someone.

FlyGirl20 · Answer

It was strange & unbelievable. It made me feel happy & loved & complete, like there was a part of me missing then he came & filled in that missing part. We connected very quickly, I never knew him or talked to him before but I saw him around school & one day when I went bck to school his friend told me that he has been tryin to get my number forever so I texted him after school & his first message to me is when we clicked. It was insane, I went to his house the next day & to be honest I think I fell in love with him a few hours after I met him in person when we first kissed. I literally felt fireworks. But he told me he loved me 3 days lter and it took me a while to say it back at first. We started dating that day and we dated for 13 days and I didn't mean for us to break up but I accidentally broke up with him & it's been a few months and we both agree that after we've tried dating other people that there's nobody who we can connect with like that again. I honestly do think those connections are rare, I mean if they weren't what would love be like then ?

phil2 · Answer

great question

what was it like: It's like I want to be with him all the time. I feel really comfortable around him, and can be myself. I can be really silly and he'll be OK with it.

how did it make you feel? at first really scared that this can't be real, and really trying to ruin theh relationship because I didn't think it was real and though it was fake. I learned to accept it for what it was after I tested it out a bit. He really does love me and won't leave me no matter what.

how quickly did you connect? well we use to know each other as kids and I didn't like him when we were kids. I thought he was the most annoying person ever. He still is really annoying but I learn to like it and see that it's his way of showing me he's comfortable around me and can be silly with me because he knows and trusts that I like him.

Did you ever find another connection like it? well nope. I try to make friends with girls but it's really hard and I can't really make friends any more for some reason.

Do you think true connections are rare? YES

Phoenix1991 · Answer

sort of because I think I seen a shooting star once, but I'm from the city, so I'm sure that's why.

deep connections, its easy to feel a connection towards someone, but the real challenge is establishing one with someone and keeping it consistent.

I probably felt something deep for someone about 3 times, One was my last Ex, another was a friend a while back, and now this girl who makes me happy.

hmm with the ex, I always had a crush on her when we were friends then was ecstatic when I got my chance with her. I never felt anything like it before, I thought I was in love before but I think it was all just in my head but with her it was like I could go up against a tank and win if she wishes me good luck. I never felt anything like that before.

Unfortunatetly things happen where you gotta say good bye and just when I thought I would remain single forever because I would never find another girl like her, then I found out, I was right. No girl will be the same but I can find someone else different who is just like me, intelligent, funny, goofy, mature, sweet ( well she can be sweet when she wants to be) ,etc.

Connections aren't rare, it happens, the person you see at the store you go to regularly that works there, that is a connection, just the deep connections is something you and the other person have to work together to develop. So no matter how far you may be apart, there is a chain connecting from your heart to theirs, So as long as you both desire each other, that connection will never die and eventually, it will become the connection you always dreamed of.

Anonymous · Answer

I've had two of the moments I think but I'm quite young and I think I might have over reacted.

Once was when I was at school and there was a nice guy who I thought was really handsome. He looked like a nice guy and he was a bit shy. I was quite interested in him and I started to look at him more and once we looked at each other right at the same time which is so strange. I wanted to just laugh...A few days later at the end of school, it was really crowded outside and as I was walking I got trapped and the middle of everyone and he was right in front of me. I know it sounds a bit over the top but everything felt liek it slowed down :o. When I saw him my mind went blank :/. I didn't know what to do and he just looked at me and... smiled :).

It was the best feeling ever so I smiled back and we just walked on. That was the only guy that I felt I had a link with... There was another guy at university who I acccidenttly made really long eye contact with and it felt like he was looking into my soul but I think my mind just went a bit far into space and his attractiveness distracted me too much. It's crazy how some people can make you feel. It's nice though. I just hope one day I can find someone who has that connnection and want to be with me all my life.

Anonymous · Answer

The deepest connection I had was with my most recent ex (4 months since breakup).

To answer your questions:

1. It was to the point where we would literally say the same things at the same time on more than one occasion or know what the other person is going to say even before they had said it. We had the same humor, i.e. he wasn't grossed out by my jokes and actually thought they were hilarious and came up with his own; we shared the same sexual fantasies and wasn't weirded out by each others' requests; our personalities would have been seen as clingy if with other people but it was what he wanted from me and what I wanted from him.

2. It felt ... special. To be completely accepted and understood by another human being. To be able to look at each other without saying anything and either know what they are thinking or start laughing together while other people are like 'wtf' because we are both thinking of the same joke.

3. We found out we had a lot in common while chatting at first as friends. The deeper connection and inside jokes etc came after we started going out. Maybe a month in.

4. I don't believe in The One. But I do believe some people are more compatible than others. I don't know if I will find another connection like that because there is only one of him in this world and no other man will be exactly the same. But I hope so.

5. Yes, rare.

blondy4lyphe · Answer

It was like they saw through to the very core of me, it was frightening but liberating and the real-est experience of my life. it made me feel extremely uplifting when I saw them even if for a second and their voice was so intense to me that it was as if it pinned me to the ground and looking them in the eyes was the strangest thing. it was as if I was stepping out of my world and into there's. lots of unexplainable occurrences happened that's for sure. I connected as soon as we locked eyes and I have never to this day had that strong of a connection, one so intense and real.

BUT I had another that when we first met their presence was also intense but in a different way as in they caught my eye at first but I see that relationship now as infatuation and lust driven, but that's what it got turned into, at first there was a connection, there's always the connection. than from that connection you do what you want from it good or bad, progressive or not. this relationship lasted for 6 months.

Then there was another who is the only one ever to give me butterflies in my stomach I had no idea in hell what that was like before then, also I got dizzy around them at times as well as always seeing them as beautiful but more than that to a point where again you can't describe it anyway that was a fling but one I'll never forget.

Now I am 3 months into a great relationship with this guy that I have connected with. I have known him for a year and this, I know is different. even though my feelings towards him aren't as extreme as the others, I feel its more healthy that way and that over time they will get stronger as it should be. its as simple as We understand each other, We care for each other and we have the desire to put in the effort to keep the relationship moving forward. I am very happy to be where I am now and with him, an amazing guy.

***every time I witness shooting stars I feel a weird rush HA love it

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

We've been apart for over 4 years now, aside from a few visits here and there.

I want him near me every day though.

I've tried letting go and dating other boys, but it never felt right. It seems I'm constantly comparing them to him.

And they don't compare.

He's amazing.

He feels the same way, and that makes me feel better. But most days I don't even know how to deal with all my emotions as they go back and forth from happiness, because I know he's out there, missing me, and sadness, because here I am, missing him.

With him I've felt things no one else can make me feel.

All those love songs out there began making sense.

My first kiss with him, I can't even describe it. Unlike anything. All his kisses make my heart beat faster.

The sappy things he says to me, leave me smiling all day long. Coming from any other boy I would just roll my eyes.

Recently we decided that we no longer can stand to be apart. This March. I'm moving, and he's moving, and together we are going to start fresh in a new city. I'm going crazy waiting. :)

Thanks for posting this. It felt good to write all that out.

Anonymous · Answer

What was it like?

It was frightening, as I was just out of high school and barely dated before.

How did it make you feel? How quickly did you connect?

I had always felt surrended by people, but still alone. It was as though they could maybe get aspects of myself, but never more than that. From the first time I hung out with him, we had real conversations that were so honest. At 17/18, that was so refreshing to me. He understood me and I never felt so content talking to someone before. Unfortunately, layers of circumstances keep us in touch, but only friends today. It's the hardest thing in the world because we are friends that always, admittedly, wanted more.

Did you ever find another connection like it?

I have been dating other guys for years. Nothing serious has come of it. He was the only connection I have had that was of that magnitude. Mental, emotional, physical. The chemistry and energy were never like that before or since. I'm not scared of many things, but not feeling that way again is one of them.

Do you think true connections are rare, like kismet?

I think connections are different, like love. There are different levels/types. But, I hope that one connection that always takes you right back, no matter where you are in life, and being completely in sync with one another is two things.. something you can get over one day in time and one you can find more than once. I have not :/ but I am trying to decide I can be friends with him or not, even though when I tried not, I was still in this position. So, Ijust hope for those two things for now.

LisaRJmnz · Answer

My mom told me about this thing I think it's called a flame companion. A flame companion is so intense I read that sometimes the connection between two flames companions are too intense for them to handle. It's a wonderful theory. I have met only two guys that I have felt so intensely for. According to the experts, any time you meet someone & feel intense it's a step closer, it's like it's training to be ready when you meet your flame companion. It must be EXTREMELY intense to meet them. Sometimes I wonder what that would feel like. The two men I felt so intensely for made me feel like something about them was calling me it was like magnet.When I would stare into guy #1's eyes I felt different.Like we were on some other level. Guy #2 & I kinda had esp.When I just begin to think about him he would call. I feel #2 was more intense than #1. So idk! I may be crazy but you gotta keep an open mind to all the possibilities! I just wanted to throw this theory in there because I found it rather interesting(:

heykid · Answer

I had two semi-serious relationships before him. One lasting a year and 3 months, the other lasting one week less than two years. I thought I could possibly marry these two, but when I look back on it, I was too naiive, and just thought that because it could be easier.

But then I met the boy I'm with now. He had just woken up and walked into the kitchen to get some coffee and we were quickly introduced. I thought he was extremely cute. We went to the beach later that day and played cards. He was shy, so I didn't know if he liked me or if I was just imagining it.

Two weeks later we were both at my uncle's house for a party. We were having a water balloon fight and that's when I knew I was falling for this kid. That night, we were at my house and we went to the playground across the street with his friend. We were all playing a "game," asking each other questions- I knew it was his way to get to know me better. Later on, he told me that he liked me. I instantly knew that I liked him too but I tried to play it cool.

Within those next couple of days, we got to know each other better and I knew I was in love. It's a feeling that I've never had before. I knew that it was real.

It's only been seven months now, but it's like we've been together for a lifetime. It's hard to remember my life before him and it's hard to picture my future without him. It's so indescribable and weird. But it's different because we both want the same exact things in life. I know that he's the one and I don't believe I'll ever find one like it. I do believe it's rare.

kereru · Answer

i find when I connect with someone it happens very suddenly, not always the first time we meet, I might know them for years, but for some reason something will suddenly align and I'll just suddenly "click" with that person, and from that point all the superficial things will cease to matter, because you understand each other and can be completely open and honest.

thats only happened a few times in my life, but I've never lost a friend who I connected with like that.

for love I think you need that same connection, but its harder to find because there's always the chance of mistaking lust and physical attraction (which is also important) for an emotional connection.

ZenQueen · Answer

deepest connection I've had was when I met back up with my ex, I was so emotional... well I was crazy, blabbing on and on, I was a wreck, he just kept calm and composed(which at the time I hated, I wanted him to care, to respond!) I stopped talking and sat back on his bed, he was in his chair, a tear came from my eye, it was dark in the room but the light from the TV shined and he saw that I was crying, immediately he took control"come here" he had me move over and he got into bed, he held me. I started to have a panic attack and he kept holding me, then the rest was like pure magic, haha.. I was breathing really hard and my heart was beating fast, and he just kept calm...my heart started to beat in sync with his, and breathing with him. I had a flash back of when I was a little girl, crying and my dad comforting me, holding me and calming me down. Unfortunately, after that I told my ex I loved him and he didn't feel the same, ah love! lol

Pedantic · Answer

From my perspective, I already have the deepest, truest, purest, most connected love a person could ever have. I see misery all around me. I feel like one in a billion...

But I never believed in things like destiny or fate, or luck -- such things are just clever words to describe more advanced phenomena in life. When we first met, her values were very different and we had many difficulties, even from early on, but were united by a common ability to work through everything, so we never broke up.

I believe that together, we made our own luck. Perhaps two people willing to make their own luck is what you would call kismet.

The thing is though, it takes a lot of strength...

True love is not for the weak hearted.

pineappleshortcare · Answer

No, I feel true connections to people all the time. They aren't always long-lasting, but I often feel a strong emotional connection to other humans.

If you mean "is being thunderstruck by intense lust that isn't ruined as soon as that person opens their mouth" ... yeah, that is kinda rare. Because many, if not most, of the descriptions I'm reading above are sheer desire, not a bond of any kind. You can have a true connection with anyone -- same sex, old or young, any race ... not just the people who have the physical traits that inspire you to write love songs.

standUP · Answer

Well shooting stars are not that rare. I have had a few amazing connections that just floored me. buterflies and excitment thinking about that person... So excited and thrilling that every thought I am thinking of her to where my face hurts smileling so much...

The connections we're firery hot. when it seems like there is only the two of us out in the big world where nothing else mattered... The passion so hot, and the feeling of total contentment.

so even tho they do seem rare. It is very possiable with others that come around looking for the same connection as yourself that will give you the same feeling or even better than imagined before.

The clue is finding this connection once again is to keep your heart open never settle and always hope that there is always another soul looking for your soft warm heart to fill the desires you are seeking...

Leamonade · Answer

It was right after meeting that person.. and I felt like I had known him for ages. It felt so familiar, and comfortable - but at the same time new, and exciting. I think I felt it the moment we started talking, thinking "wow this is surprisingly easy".

I think the frequency depends on the person. For me, it's pretty rare. It's hard for me to find someone I can be comfortable with right from the start. It takes time for me to get used to the person, to get a feel of them and to know how to act around them. That specific person I told you about, I was completely myself around him without even having to think about it. That almost never happens to me.

silentlywaiting · Answer

Ive had a few relashionships, but none I've felt the way I do with my husband. Even before we got married, I remember the first time we saw in person it was like I was home. SInce we actually met online before meeting in person, I was worried we would not connect. But it was all the contrary, like we had known each other forever. ANd now nothing we share is the same as things I've done before with others. Everything is more special, from in the sheets, to day to day activity is different in a good way. Oh and before marriage we connected fast, it was just rite. I knew that when I saw that I found someone I could sing with, be a goof with, and who would be honest with me and flat out tell me when I am wrong. We are completely in love with each other, and each others.

Kittie · Answer

Ah.. ironically my first boyfriend's name was Kizmet. It was a rare connection, but I believe that all connections are special in its own way.

I was attached to him the first time I saw him, but he was taken. I tried seeing him as a father figure.

It was easy to relate to him mostly because of our upbringing, Asian culture, poverty, and equal maturity level. He had some experience to teach me of life, I to him, and most of all, we both kept learning and growing together to create new memories. We fought quite often because we were easily hurt by each others words or absences. We even had visions about each other when someone was in danger.

He was like my soul mate but I had to leave him because of my choices in life. I still yearned for him years after but when I actually talked to him again, we could still connect but he wanted love and I couldn't give him that anymore.

bustersgirl · Answer

Me and my boyfriend been together for almost two years. The moment we laid eyes on each other the sparks were flying. It truly was love at first site for the both of us. He makes me feel away that no one else has ever done. I have never found a connection with anyone like the one we share together. I still get all giddy and butterflys when he walks into the room, or I hear his voice over the phone. He is the love of my life. I don't think true connections are rare, I just don't think most people are able to see them or feel them right away.

MyNameIsJonas · Answer

I've seen two shooting stars in my lifetime. Just saying (;

Yes I think that they are hard to come by. It may depend on the person.

What was it like? Somewhat life changing. Did not know you could feel that way for another person.

How did it make me feel? Really good (:

How quickly did you connect? After about 2 months, but always had a thing for her.

Ever find another? Not the same kind. I can honestly say I have not really put myself out there for many people.

Yes, but I feel the more open you are with people the easier you will come by a connection. I'm not at the point where I am putting myself out there 100% because I'm not looking for that at this point.

questionsneedanswers · Answer

Mine is just a true best friend.

It was really young when we met (like lower primary years), and then we were friends. So I don't remember much.

When I moved back, it just suddenly became best friends. I guess its because we didn't see each other for so long (other than my visits, which were really short), and I didn't know his email address.

It just felt so... perfect. We aren't boyfriend/girlfriend (though many people think so). This relationship is actually pretty stable, we haven't had an argument, ever. Not even when we were in primary, before I left. He's the only friend that hasn't argued with me (is this weird?). It just seems like we know when to back off. And I have a lot of friends, so for me it's extremely rare.

angelwithin · Answer

lol @ update -- cute.

um.. I liked him as soon as I could remember.. so quite quickly.

It made me feel so special to be with him, but it hurt just that much more when he cheated and hurt me.. so great connection? Yes! Asshole of a guy? Yes! ...Find another like it? Connect - yes, The guy - Oh God, I hope not! I don't want that kind of pain again - I've cried enough already and still am lol.

No this wasn't a true connection -- I hope not -- so I hope I find better, and hopefully it will be like kismet then.

Bagpypr · Answer

My deepest connection was like nothing else I've ever had. It was a feeling almost tangible. I looked forward to being with her, seeing her smile and hearing her laugh was always a warm feeling. The relationship wasn't something born over night. We flirted for a few months then it progressed from there. There was never another connection like that one. Everyone since has been compared to her. I've learned to move on but she remains in my heart and memories. Unfortunately, I think these connections are rare. If you ever find something like this, hang onto it.

Good luck.

slipslender · Answer

i don't think true connections are necessarily the 'deepest' of connections... true connections, imo, are like super random moments, when you realize the other person is thinking exactly what you're thinking and it's like two puzzle pieces clicking together. it can happen when you're talking to a friend, or when you see something funny on the train and you look around, wanting someone else to see it too, and you notice that someone DID see it too and was looking for someone to share it with as well. just random moments like that. to answer your questions:

1. instantaneous. smiles were involved. :p

2. very focused, almost like tunnel-vision onto the other person.

3. it lasted for seconds.

4. yes, it happens randomly.

5. true connections are not rare per se. I think most people have experienced something like this- a brief moment of shared thoughts and feelings.

Anonymous · Answer

What was it like?

I first met him at my job. When I first saw him I thought in my head that it would be nice to make love with him..and I imagined it. But, not in a sexual way. I also forgot about all my sorrows and focused more on him.

How did it make you feel?

I saw him for the first time and it was like a warm feeling in my heart/mind. A feeling of comfort. He also helped me let go of my sorrows.

How quickly did you connect?

The first week, I felt an instant connection. Something about him made me go back for more to talk to him.

Did you ever find another connection like it?

Not yet, though I am still with him.

Do you think true connections are rare, like kismet?

I don't think connections are very rare, but, true connections where they make you feel completed no matter what you are actually missing is rare. I think.

Now, you know why I fight with myself to stay with him, Tia. Now you know why I try so hard. <3

martyfellow · Answer

No, they aren't rare. I often feel special connections in China, mostly with the women, they're so deep, insightful, and psychologically balanced.

But before that, with several people, again mostly women, starting when I was 8. I think some sort of fate plays a role in bringing people together, to be honest with you. It's always immediate and can't be explained by common interests or ethinic origin, or any other criteria I've been able to identify.

Depending on the situation, it can be very stressful. It's not necessarily convenient..what if you are both married, and not to each other, for example!

Anonymous · Answer

I think they're very rare esp when it comes to relationships. it's so difficult. it's not hard to find someone you like and it's not hard to find someone who likes you. but you're trying to get that one person you love and they feel the same way about you, that's like winning a multi billion lottery. the chances aren't great. I feel like a lot of people compromised when it comes to that. I personally have that made that connection yet with anyone and white it's discouraging and depressing as hell, I'm still hopefull that it will happen for me

AlexCab · Answer

I don't know if rare, but I do know I can't connect deeply with everyone I've met. Out of everyone I've dated or have been with, I only had 2 true connections I guess. One of them, I was too young to understand what I was going through (you know, when all you can see is your nose and you think drama = love) but I really got the feel of it, and the last one and most profound connection is my wife. It was not immediate though, it took us some time to get to know each other and connect to this level.

shyguy89 · Answer

in my honest idea a connection isn't as rare as a shooting star I think the shooting star is rarer..no offense..cause with connection its something you create with someone whether you like them or not its like contructing a building for people to live in..a true connection is only as go as its foundation that its bulit upon..so a connection can come from 2 seconds of convo or 30 years of staring at each other..its your feelings and there feelings coming to one something you can hold together with each other..thats how I feel..i have made connection on both sides there just like buildings connection are built tall short wide,long it just depends on how your feelings come together.

NihilisticSoul · Answer

Space to answers makes this very difficult to answer an ongoing discussion. I can't describe in less than 3000 character, what it's like to meet one of the most beautiful woman in this world ,that only took 6 months to open up to and become my best friend. While no can physically replace her in this world, her spirit is very much alive! As I result I do believe having her come in my life was very much destiny, so I could share this ongoing discussion with you.

Great question hun! I am sending you blessings and good fortune your way!

Anonymous · Answer

I think they are rare, but definitely possible. I've had the same best friend since I was 3 years old. We aren't exactly alike, but we complement each other well. We love each other like sisters. She is someone who I can rely on completely. It does seem like our friendship came about because of fate. My friend (at the age of three) told her mom that she was going to find a new best friend on the day that we met.

Our friendship has helped me to understand and believe in love. She is obviously imperfect, as am I, yet I find myself loving even the parts of her that I don't like. I sometimes wonder if I have made the strongest connection a person could in life and I will never be in a relationship so great as ours. Still, I would be so happy if I could find a man that I could care about as much as her and who would treat me as well.

red_balloon · Answer

I don't really believe in intense emotional connections with people mainly because people are selfish beings who are for the most part unkind by nature. most relationships are founded on convinience more than anything else. A successful marriage really only needs two things, and that is for the girl to respect the guy and the the guy to love the girl. you don't need to be highly compatible in any other way because no one is perfect, so there is no such thing as a perfect friendship or relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

True connections are uncommon, in the sense that they don't come along often compared to your total number of interactions. My deepest connection with someone was my best friend from high school. It was perfect friendship. It took a few years for it to build into what it became, and there were difficult periods where we didn't talk to each other that served to strengthen the overall friendship. Never found another friendship quite like it, but I've had some deep meaningful relationships since.

As far as girls I have mutual attraction towards and am compatible enough to date, I have that happen 3-5 times a year. Whether I choose to act on it is another story.

armyguy176 · Answer

yeah I've seen a few shooting stars and I've had about the same amount of rare connections. Its just something that happens every once in a while. It happens when I just happen to start talking to a girl and we have a lot in common and we hit it off, often times I would characterize it as when you catch someones eye and they catch yours, and the energy is so high that you just say hi, without even realizing it, and before you know it your dating them.

AmberChick · Answer

It felt like he was what I had been missing for the past 5 years

It made me feel two ways- one, that I finally found it and two, I was in a dream

We connected the instant we saw each other

No, I never had a connection like that again

I also think though that it was one of those things that needed to happen but wasn't necessary for the long run

That-Guy · Answer

There are many ways to connect with people, some it's similar interest like hobbies, political views or maybe how to catch fish...

It's nice to feel understood and comforting that someone else out there sees your views or at least understands them.

The last time I connected with someone was talking to a guy who Turboed his car similar to the way I did and we ended up talking about how much of a pain it is to do.

whoareyou2 · Answer

I think they are somewhat rare and I also think women have a harder time finding a true connection since the majority of guys just wanna have sex and don't care for a relationship.

My deepest connection was with a girl I dated in high school. I was head over heels for her. In my opinion she was by far the most beautiful girl in the whole school and she had a rad personality. She ended up moving two years later :(

--phil-- · Answer

having a true connection, they are hard to find but wen you do its amazing. I felt great that I had found a girl that I have good chemistry with and have so much in common. it didn't take me very long maybe like a couple days. I have found a connection like it but I am still dating the girl that I have made the first connection with. I find that they are hard to find.

angel1142 · Answer

Yes I think so!

I have found a few like that only in my life...

In 8months, 3 continents and 6countries I only found one true connection!

When it's there you can feel it right away, you know.

It's like you've known each other forever and you were meant to meet each other at this precise moment.

It feels amazing.

noobseaplenty · Answer

I felt like I wanted to be fully connected to the person, it's hard to explain actually, almost like literally have the same body, mind, and spirit if you believe that sort of thing be completely together, meh, too hard to describe but it was really amazing, hope I find someone like this again

Anonymous · Answer

1. She was awesome. She got me. She was smart. She made me laugh (most women are not very funny). She was innocent (virgin). She was caring but not too clingy.

2. Comfortable, warm, fun, carefree.

3. Seconds

4. Not yet, sometimes I wonder if I ever will.

5. Very rare

browolf · Answer

people are like jigsaw pieces. Some fit together better than others.

WeaponZero · Answer

Honestly I've never felt that degree of connection you speak of with another human being.  I have felt it though with dogs I've had in the past, most notable being Gandalf, our family dog when I was born who died when I was 9.

Spirit156 · Answer

Shooting stars aren't rare. It is the moment you don't miss when your looking but you do miss when you aren't looking.. I answered all your questions with one answer.. I feel special

BeerME · Answer

I've seen a lot more shooting stars than true connections personally. Perhaps my head is in the sky too much.

stlgal0711 · Answer

The deepest connection I ever had was actually when I was 17. I met this guy through a friend at a party and it was just one of those moments, we discussed everything that night and its just . . . indescribable. I have never had another connection quite like that one. Maybe it had to do with being so young and innocent - I don't know.

Anonymous · Answer

to some...shooting stars may not be that rare but...even for those people...how often are you actually looking up to see them? in that case, yes 'true' connections could be considered just as rare as "sighting" a shooting star...

Heidiz · Answer

They're hard to find but they're there. When you find it, you'll know you got it. Mine was a few years ago with my ex. It was great. It doesn't mean you won't have any fights. It means that person understand you on a level you'll never be able to explain to anyone else.

SixStringSeal · Answer

My best random connections have usually arisen from having a shared common interest. Just kinda makes you feel like you know the person a little better.

Are true connections rare like shooting stars?

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Do you connect more to certain stars?

Are true connections rare like shooting stars?

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