What was it like?
How did it make you feel?
How quickly did you connect?
Did you ever find another connection like it?
Do you think true connections are rare, like kismet?
Feel free to add anything else you'd like to share.
This is a question open to allot of interpretation depending on your character and how you define a true connection. I'm going to go ahead and assume this isn't purely restricted to lovers. I should define it before I answer your questions otherwise risk my cohesion.
I would define a true connection as someone you share your true self with; complete openness, honesty, and vulnerability. A shared "oneness" in a manor. Not someone you can just be yourself with but also someone who you're willing to let know the inner makings that created the person you are today. Someone who knows the secrets we all have about ourselves but try our best to hide.
Using that definition I've had several and varying experiences in each case.
The first was the obvious first romance. It was intoxicating and highly addictive. Because it was my first experience in life with this kind of relationship it felt very free. I didn't worry about the consequences of sharing information. I guess I was a little naive looking back. I'd best describe it as feeling of freedom, but a child's prospective of freedom. The connection grew over a span of years. We knew each other from around the age of seven to sixteen. Although the connection might have grown slowly from childhood it unfolded like a rush of water between the ages of twelve to fourteen. Oddly enough not during the duration of the romantic relationship from fourteen-sixteen.
The second was my best friend at that time. The guy who helped me through the ruins of that relationship. It was much of the same childlike freedom but with miniscule reminisce of reservation. I was slower to open up. I did so with some reservation, over a span over several years, starting from about the time my childhood crush evolved into a romantic relationship up until my late teens. I don't really talk to him much anymore, I've moved cities numerous times since then, but we still get together for some drinks and shared stories once every year or two.
My third experience with a true connection is still developing. The feelings mixed with it are much more complex then they were in a previous life. There are small fragments of that childlike like freedom I used to experience mixed in with the reservation experienced in my second encounter, but also guilt and anxiety among a cornucopia of other emotions. It's a complete mixed bag really. It's like re-living the emotions of the past but mixing in the emotions of the current. It's developing slow in comparison to my two previous experiences. I'll share a detail or two then stop, grow the relationship, then share a couple more details. It's much more gradual and progressive.
So to answer the main question of this thread, yes, I think true connections are rare. I also think they decrease in frequency the older you become. Or maybe more accurately that they take longer to develop and thus leave little room for a quick succession of true connections.
Also I might add in every case for me it's always been a shared experience. The relationships were never one sided. Always give and take.
Ugh, I'm so sick of the typical response here. Lovey dovey bullsh*t. Gone are the days when men could be amongst men, bound in brotherhood. Now it's all "I've never felt this way about that girl blah blah blah."
I'm one of the rare few today who have a sworn brother. To my disdain, the concept of sworn brotherhood has all but faded since antiquity. We live in a modern world where men care about p**** and women care about cock. People narrowly focus their attentions on the tender affectations of love, and fail to develop bonds characterized by shared grit, shared hardship, shared heartiness, shared defiance, shared strength, shared ideals and goals, with people of the same sex. If my sworn brother lived a couple hundred years ago, we'd easily be charging across a battlefield side by side. This poem fits my sentiments quite nicely:
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the hand on the harp-string, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning?
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
My brother and I connected instantly, but our bond has only strengthened over time. He completes me in ways a woman never will. Not that we're gay or anything. It's just that there are some things we can never discuss in front of other people, and some things we will never discuss in front of women. We've both been betrayed by women, had our hearts broken, had fate cruelly snatch love away, had to move across several countries apart, yet him and I have always been sworn brothers, and have always had each other for council and solace.
What was it like?
- The most profound acquaintance I ever will experience, and I foresee that it will derive more things that love could ever show me.
How did it make you feel?
- Privileged, honored.
Did you ever find another connection like it?
- No. Even deep love pales in comparison.
Do you think true connections are rare?
- Yes, but that's what makes them so valuable.
This Thanksgiving he had no money to come visit me. I told him to stfu and let me pay for his trip. He did. His room mate, upon hearing that I offered to pay $550 to get him over to me, just for 5 days, plus housing and food expenses, told him that I was "just being nice" and "didn't really mean it." He didn't understand. Nobody understands.
Amen to that I am very much of the same mind-the bond of brotherhood is something I too believe could never be supplanted by any female companionship; having a brother in arms is truly a wondrous thing. It is something sorely lacking in this day and age given the continuing emasculation of men and the idiocy being force-feed to us about being "emotional", "sensitive" and so forth; gone are virtues like chivalry, honour and resoluteness.
Good to know I'm not alone. Salute.
You've been reading too many comics...
I'm seeing this trend among a lot of boys your age - this attitude toward women. Reeeally sexist and a bit ridiculous. I get what you're saying, but the overly macho bs tells me that your era is reverting back to the 1950s mindset. Why are you all devolving?
Why does your relationship with this guy have to compete with every other guys relationship with girls? Can't they be separate but equal. As much as I love the romanticized medieval ages taught to me in novels, movies and games; and as much as I love my cousin Pete who has been my best friend and brother growing up, I still feel I am capable of having a potentially equal or greater relationship with a woman. A brothers love is not the same as a spouses. Neither could replace the other.
No, they can never be equal.
i don't fall for guys easily I've only liked may be two in my life thus far, I felt the deepest connection with the 2nd. I totally didn't see it coming either, and its so weird I can't even describe it. I had just started college and had a huge lecture class and for some reason my eyes landed on him out of like 200 students. its like some spirit was controlling me or something or a guardian angel telling me to focus my attention on him. I don't know why I kept looking at him, the funny thing is I didn't even think he was that cute...like it definitely wasn't lust ya know?
we ended up meeting through classes and mutual friends, and its like he had noticed me too in class, we were both wired in some odd way. and he was impatient to meet me so he just came up to me and said hi I'm ____ nice to meet you. and I was secretly so happy he was as anxious to meet me as I was to meet him...and we became friends. and with a matter of like 3 months I had fallen for him so hard. I trusted him and felt like he was my other half. we had so many unusual things in common, its like we were so alike. we both knew what the other was thinking and we had nonverbal conversations. he knew what I was feeling without me saying anything and he knew what to say at the right time like one time I was upset he wasn't paying attention to me and he came over to me and said he wasn't feeling good that day sick and stuff and that he will call me the next day and it was so adorable because I didn't even say anything to him he just knew what was on my mind. and same with me, one time he was upset in class over his grades and I just knew somehow and I cheered him up and said don't worry you'll do well on the final and I just knew what was in his head.
of course not every love story has happy endings. he ended up losing interest in me somehow and decided to ignore me and things just went downhill from there. most probably because were not the same religion, which is a huge problem for him. I didn't mind but for him I guess his family would never approve. and yea it was sad. I was never able to move on completely, never able to forget him. even worse he would still try to connect with me throughout college and win me back its like he couldn't let go of me either, but when it came down to me asking him out he would get scared and make excuses and couldn't commit. he wanted me but then couldn't be with me.
i stopped talking to him. got way too hurt in the process and I needed to get out of the toxic relationship. he even disrespected me several times and broke my heart and flirted with other girls in front of me. d*** move.
what was it like? the magnetism between us though, no one would understand. and even telling my friends about it, they didn't believe it. I really think we were psychic-ally connected.
how did it make you feel? when I started liking him, I didn't feel 'alone' anymore, I felt so secure next to him, and taken care of, and those feelings reciprocated is just unexplainable.
How quickly did you connect? instantly to 3 months
Did you ever find another connection like it? never. even if I tried with other men, just didn't feel the same.
Do you think true connections are rare, like kismet? I can't speak for others but for me it was def rare, I don't think I can love like that ever again.
I've made a lot of really deep, honest and pure connections in my life. I just always surrounded myself with people who were honestly, simply, good. There's no other way to say it. They were kind, caring, open, loving all that junk but they were so much so that they went past that and earn the highest praise I can give, they are good people. I've met dozens and dozens of people in my life who all hold a piece of my heart. People who I loved from the first time I met them. The kind of people who would stub their toe and I'd sit down and cry with them because we were so close I could feel that pain, no matter how small.
And not just boyfriend or what not, just simple friends as well. There are so many people in my life that I feel honored to have known that they're more like grains of sand on the beach or trees in a forest. I manage to find good people and then help bring out the best in them, and they do the same for me. I'm an only child but my freshmen year of college I met a kid and ten minutes through the introduction I knew he was the big brother I've always wanted.
So to answer your questions-
What's it like: Amazing, incredible... I feel so connected, so surrounded. I can constantly feel this giant network of people who, regardless of how long it's been since we've talked, I could call any time and hang out and it would be as though nothing had changed. I feel like I've given out little parts of my soul and sewn parts of theirs onto mine in it's place and each time I feel like a better, stronger person.
How did it make you feel: loved, accepted, appreciated, embraced, warm, comforted... Like warm, dense brownies right out of the oven. Just absolute wholeness, completeness and perfection... also delicious?
How quickly did you connect: Most people I connect with it happens instantaneously. I meet them, we lock eyes, share a smile, crack a joke, start a game and that's it. Connections for me are either there or not and if they happen it's fast as light.
Did you ever find another like it: Like I said I've had dozens.
Are they rare: no... not for me, at least. I'm a very open person, a very loving person and a very accepting (if naive) person and so connections are easy. I connect with just about any one I sense is a good person, which aren't are rare as you'd think.
It was amazingly indescribable. We clicked so well that all of the corny sayings like "the cheese to my macaroni", "the stripes on my candycane", "the mail to my box" made since. I felt like we understood each other. I felt complete, safe, special. I loved like I never loved before. It was a different, fresh, pure, innocent love. The attraction was insane, mindblowing, intense. Physically and mentally- I felt that I could never get enough. We had the same sense of humor, we just got along so well. He knew when I was lying, he knew when something was wrong. He was protective. It felt like fate. Head over heels. Excitement, passion, fear. You want it to last so badly that when you think of it ending, your chest aches. Yes, you are able to understand that you can find some one else.. but at the same time, you would just rather have this work out, even if you could find some one more attractive or funny, in your mind this is the one. The one you want forever. The one you don't mind growing old with. The one you look forward to seeing. The one were driving only five minutes to see them again is too long. The one you want to wake up with. The one that can fart and puke on you and you don't give a flying f***. It's so amazing and scary, and the only reason it is scary is because every so often you think of what life would be like if they left. If you lost that one that understood every nook and cranny of you. It will make your chest literally ACHE. An actually pain from your own emotions. Physical pain from something that didn't touch you.
I know when I saw him, that first time I saw him, I decided that was the man I was going to marry.
I have not found another connection like this, but I am still with the boy that I am connected with.
Yes, I believe what I feel is rare.
Opinion
36Opinion
During my student life, I've experienced 2 kinds of connections.
The first connection is the connection you make when talking to people you have in common with. The commonality can be made aware of without notice but it normally happens when you surprise yourself at your ease of interacting with the other person. Only last for a few seconds. You talk and talk, then you realize and think to yourself "hang on a minute... this is proper talking! Yea this person is cool". You would be expecting this connection again with the same person but it usually doesn't happen the very next time you talk. Can be felt with many people when you understand them more. Leads to friendship and stability
The second connection is rarer and, if you want, much more empowering. Its the connection you feel when you're both in the same room. Call it a crush or mutual wanting. In contrast to the calming zen like feel of the first connection, this connection makes you feel intense and bothered. The connection can be made even without speaking with that person. Just staring in their eyes and smiling will do it. This connection only happens with one person in your life at a time. Some experience with only one person in their lifetime. Leads to love, hate, happiness, sadness, future planning, suicidal thoughts... foolishness. Volatile stuff.
... then there's Facebook
Look at it through the metaphor. A shooting star is not rare, it is only rare to us because of our short lifetimes. If we had the eyesight and the lifespan we could see them all the time and they would lose their rarity. The truth is that love would be like that too if it was the rarity we see it as. It is magical when we think of it as some treasure difficult to obtain.
Here's a few examples.
1. This girl was one of the tops.
It was a dream that I couldn't wake up from
We connected in a few moments
I never found a connection like it (everyone is different to be around) but I had connections that felt similar.
I think the true connection is a high standard. You maybe setting yourself up for something different.
These things are rare, yet they are not. A moment or those connections are easy, but to have a long lasting one is difficult. You have to remember that being around someone all the time is difficult and in a rarity it is being around one that just makes you want to be around them more often. An even greater difficulty is that fact that you want them to feel the same way.
So to correct your metaphor, it is more like two comets crashing into each other or something of that liking.
Hope you find it, I think we all are, B.
What was it like? And how did it make you feel?
Horrible and great. Happiness and fear. Like skydiving.
How quickly did you connect?
Weeks/Months
Did you ever find another connection like it?
I've found two so far. Both of my exes.
Do you think true connections are rare, like kismet?
No. There's a brilliant side to most everyone out there. The rare part is letting yourself cling like a barnacle to someone. It's not easy to become dependent (to some extent) on someone's warmth, and to do so makes you vulnerable, insecure, jealous, afraid.. but oddly enough makes you happy in some strange, potentially tormenting way.. If I could time travel and pit myself against myself when I was with each ex, both would die to prove they loved their girlfriend more. But a different time, a different feeling. I would of contently loved either of them forever, hadn't I caught both of them cheating on me. I couldn't be with either of them after that. But that doesn't change the fact that when I was with them, I was still happy and in love-- and this is just to say that a deep connection is as easy as attaching yourself, finding a deep connection that'll last forever.. well that's a bit more rare, and perhaps more to do with just luck. Just luck that no man, woman, parent, sibling, financial crisis, dream or anything else got in the way before death.
aww. That is how I feel..happiness and fear. I think this is Best Answer! =)
I second for Best Answer!
What was it like and how did it make you feel?
It was confusing. I did not know what to say. I started stuttering or just not talking and blushing when around her. I was feeling weird sensation like weak legs or the butterfly feeling in the stomach. She was my first crush and girlfriend back when I was 17.
2. How quickly did you connect and did you find a connection like that?
We did not connect fast. I had to work to get her attention. Also, it took awhile to get over my nervousness when around her. Anyways, I think it took a whole 3 months till I could officially call her my girlfriend. She was an amazing person, but we called it off after I had to go to college. I did find such connection in college, although I never thought it would happen. Perhaps the world is bigger than I thought.
3. Do you think tru connections are rare?
I think they are rare. I still feel nostalgic when I look at our pictures. My current girlfriend is beautiful and sweet, but I don't think she can ever make me forget my first. I don't invest so much emotions in my relationships anymore, (maybe that or just that she was my first) is why I think true connection is rare.
1. Indescribably wonderful. The funny thing is he was right in front of my face for 8 years but I didn't know him too well and I didn't think he was the kind of guy I was looking for.
2. Happy, content, excited, loved, giddy. Basically every positive emotion you can think of rolled into one. But also a bit of worry (what if we break up and I never feel like this again?)
3. I felt a unique connection with him after I got to know him fairly well, I think it's impossible to recognize a truly unique and deep connection otherwise. And that was after about a month of hanging out.
4. Nope. We're both a lot a like. We have a ton of stuff in common, similar personalities, and we have pretty much the same mindset on most of the major things. Which makes it easy for me to understand his side of things when we argue (which is very rare). I honestly don't think there's a better match for me. At least not with anyone I'd run into in my lifetime. I feel like our brains operate on the same wavelengths or something because sometimes we're aware of things that the other needs without them even saying anything.
5. Absolutely. People are so vastly different that it's hard to find someone who's compatible with you, never mind someone you can understand perfectly and connect with on a deep level.
<3
I am jealous of your relationship!
No, we aren't...but, we aren't as close as I'd like. He still doesn't trust me.
=/ Sorry to hear that hun. I hope you guys can work it out over time!
thanks you. I am sure we will. lol I just have to be patient. Which is one of my weak points haha
I know a lot of people here are talking about connections between lovers, but the deepest connection I've experienced yet has been with my best friend.
We clicked very quickly, and our friendship's endured over the years despite distance, long periods of time where weren't able to talk, issues between families, etc. I can talk to her about anything, and vice versa. Often words aren't even necessary, and silence between us is comfortable and familiar. Spending time with her feels easy as breathing, like everything's where it should be. It feels great to know there's someone in this world who gets me completely, someone I can understand fully, and someone who I can count on anytime, anywhere. I'd do anything for her, and I trust her, even with things I'm insecure about or ashamed of.
We've been through a lot together, and it seems like no matter how bad it gets we're always there for each other. I remember when she finally decided enough was enough and moved out of her parents' house. I really couldn't have been more proud of anyone, and I did everything in my power to help and support her. Getting past hardships together has made us much closer; we know each other so well by now.
It really amazes me how it was possible to form such a deep connection like this with someone, and how it was with her that I discovered a bond so strong, out of the many other people I've come into contact with. And no, I haven't experienced it with anyone else. It all started about 10 years ago, when she saw me on a swing by myself and asked me to play tag with her. At the time I had no idea that such a simple, friendly, and childlike act would grow into so much more.
I think they're rare, yes, but in the sense that most of our relationships with people never amount to anything as meaningful. The few that do you really have to hold on to and treasure.
Spend a night outside in Texas away from the city and you will see that shooting stars aren't exactly rare. I counted one every 6 seconds or so.
1) Ineffable
2) Elated, complete, euphoric
3) Clicked instantaneous but it was about 5 months before I realized I was in love. For her it was shorter than that.
4) Yes, once before though we weren't a perfect match.
5) I don't really believe in fate per se. Destiny makes me get all squirmy also. I believe in Karma which is ironic since the mere definition of it is 'Destiny or fate, following as effect from cause'.
Soulmates are out there but some aren't healthy ones. My first one was with a woman who wanted to change me. Everything I was against I was changing to make her happy which goes against my nature. My willpower was broken because of blinding love.
I talk about making love sometimes and this is what I mean. Intimacy with this soul mate is beyond comparison to anything else. If everyone who was married to their soulmate, I bet that infidelity would be near zilch. But people settle and give up looking for that perfect someone. Sure they might not be perfect in the sense like Jesus or whatever, but perfect for me. :)
Just FYI: the deepest connection I've shared with someone has been my best friend.
I don't know how to explain what it's like. I guess we're just really, really close friends. We know each other very well, and we share similar values. She is the only person I've met that sees the world the same way I do. It definitely is a nice feeling - she is the best person I know. I never, ever feel like I'm ever truly alone because she's been there for me countless times over the years (and vice verse). We connected pretty quickly. We met in high school and were best friends pretty much instantly. Obviously our friendship grew with time, but I never felt uncomfortable around her. We just meshed well right off the bat.
No, I haven't had another connection like that. I don't know if they're rare, but I do hope I can have a similar connection with a boyfriend one day.
It's nice having such a close friend that I don't have to pretend around. No matter my mood, no matter how stupid I am sometimes, regardless of what's occurring in both our lives, she always accepts me and has never made me feel like I wasn't important, which is probably why she's my best friend.
Sorry for not answering most of the questions. In my opinion there seem to be layers of compatibility. It is not too difficult to find a partner with low - moderate levels of compatibility with you. It does not take much to form those basic forms of connections relating to human needs; the need for love, companionship, respect, the need to wanted and desired. Then there are more rare forms of connection. Beyond the previous this include shared passions, interests, hobbies, sexual and physical attraction towards each other. Then I think the most rare form of connection with the highest level of compatibility includes all the previous aspects, but also includes a mutual understanding of each others thinking, desires and perceptions. A behavior al connection that as Utada Hikaru describes as like 'apple and cinamon'. Two people get on with minimal friction and even if they are not the same, their mutual understandings of each other means their reactions to each other are near perfect. This kind of relationship I have only had with 2 people in my life, and it is really rare in my opinion.
@All the annoying people commenting that shooting stars aren't rare, stop being so pedantic! You know what she meant.
As for the question, ask me a while back and I would've said heck no! Those things don't exist!
I was wrong though.. Those love songs and everything finally make sense!
I was with my ex when I met him. He started working at the same place as me, we got on okay and I shouldn't of thought anything of it - we get new people in all the time.
But I started hoping to catch him for a few minutes after work or keeping my fingers crossed that we were on the same lunch break.
It didn't feel like normal attraction, though, I can't explain it but I guess I just wanted to smile when I was around him. It just made me happy to be in his presence.
Thought nothing of it, carried on with my boyfriend. At our job we have two months off, and I didn't think he'd come back after it - somehow this hit me so hard. He did though and I was so happy.
Things went downhill with my boyfriend - nothing to do with this guy, you understand, it just wasn't working. But we did start spending time together, just sitting with each other for half hour after work. Half hour became an hour, then two, then three.. It was mad.
But it was the same as before, I just felt happy around him.
We're together now :) Never been so sure that I loved someone. I fell head over heels for him (almost literally, but that's another story!)
I guess it started straight away, as soon as we met, but it built into what it is over time.
I don't know if they're rare or not, but I'd like to think not. It's nice to think everyone can find someone they just feel relaxed and happy around.
(It is taking over my life though, for the last year I think about him almost 24/7!)
Amen sistah (:
The connection I have with my boyfriend is unlike anything I have ever felt for someone. It's like being head over heels in love with your best friend. It's waking up in the morning and not feeling fully dressed if you haven't given him a kiss. It's feeling completely lost if he isn't standing by your side...even when you don't really need him there. It's like looking into his eyes and seeing everything you ever hoped for in a man manifested in one single person.
It makes me feel like no matter what happens to me, as long as I have him, nothing can touch me. It makes me feel like there is someone out there in control of my heart and the best feeling is knowing that he takes meticulous care of it. As cliche as this is going to sound, it makes me feel complete. Like the part of me that was always missing is with me now and is never going to leave me alone.
We connected pretty quickly. The first date we went on was just instant chemistry. Not love or anything but he just got me like no one ever had before. And now after 11 months we are virtually the same person...in different bodies...with different personalities (if that makes sense lol).
I have, to this day, never felt a connection with anyone the way I do with him. I have best friends and I have people that I love but when the person that you love becomes your best friend there is nothing like it.
I do think true connections are rare but only because too often people settle for less than that firework enducing connection. That kind of connection takes time to build and often does not present itself in the first person to step into our lives. I do believe connections like this only happen a couple if not only once in a person's life but I do think everyone is capable of experiencing a true connection with someone.
It was strange & unbelievable. It made me feel happy & loved & complete, like there was a part of me missing then he came & filled in that missing part. We connected very quickly, I never knew him or talked to him before but I saw him around school & one day when I went bck to school his friend told me that he has been tryin to get my number forever so I texted him after school & his first message to me is when we clicked. It was insane, I went to his house the next day & to be honest I think I fell in love with him a few hours after I met him in person when we first kissed. I literally felt fireworks. But he told me he loved me 3 days lter and it took me a while to say it back at first. We started dating that day and we dated for 13 days and I didn't mean for us to break up but I accidentally broke up with him & it's been a few months and we both agree that after we've tried dating other people that there's nobody who we can connect with like that again. I honestly do think those connections are rare, I mean if they weren't what would love be like then ?
great question
what was it like: It's like I want to be with him all the time. I feel really comfortable around him, and can be myself. I can be really silly and he'll be OK with it.
how did it make you feel? at first really scared that this can't be real, and really trying to ruin theh relationship because I didn't think it was real and though it was fake. I learned to accept it for what it was after I tested it out a bit. He really does love me and won't leave me no matter what.
how quickly did you connect? well we use to know each other as kids and I didn't like him when we were kids. I thought he was the most annoying person ever. He still is really annoying but I learn to like it and see that it's his way of showing me he's comfortable around me and can be silly with me because he knows and trusts that I like him.
Did you ever find another connection like it? well nope. I try to make friends with girls but it's really hard and I can't really make friends any more for some reason.
Do you think true connections are rare? YES
sort of because I think I seen a shooting star once, but I'm from the city, so I'm sure that's why.
deep connections, its easy to feel a connection towards someone, but the real challenge is establishing one with someone and keeping it consistent.
I probably felt something deep for someone about 3 times, One was my last Ex, another was a friend a while back, and now this girl who makes me happy.
hmm with the ex, I always had a crush on her when we were friends then was ecstatic when I got my chance with her. I never felt anything like it before, I thought I was in love before but I think it was all just in my head but with her it was like I could go up against a tank and win if she wishes me good luck. I never felt anything like that before.
Unfortunatetly things happen where you gotta say good bye and just when I thought I would remain single forever because I would never find another girl like her, then I found out, I was right. No girl will be the same but I can find someone else different who is just like me, intelligent, funny, goofy, mature, sweet ( well she can be sweet when she wants to be) ,etc.
Connections aren't rare, it happens, the person you see at the store you go to regularly that works there, that is a connection, just the deep connections is something you and the other person have to work together to develop. So no matter how far you may be apart, there is a chain connecting from your heart to theirs, So as long as you both desire each other, that connection will never die and eventually, it will become the connection you always dreamed of.
I've had two of the moments I think but I'm quite young and I think I might have over reacted.
Once was when I was at school and there was a nice guy who I thought was really handsome. He looked like a nice guy and he was a bit shy. I was quite interested in him and I started to look at him more and once we looked at each other right at the same time which is so strange. I wanted to just laugh...A few days later at the end of school, it was really crowded outside and as I was walking I got trapped and the middle of everyone and he was right in front of me. I know it sounds a bit over the top but everything felt liek it slowed down :o. When I saw him my mind went blank :/. I didn't know what to do and he just looked at me and... smiled :).
It was the best feeling ever so I smiled back and we just walked on. That was the only guy that I felt I had a link with... There was another guy at university who I acccidenttly made really long eye contact with and it felt like he was looking into my soul but I think my mind just went a bit far into space and his attractiveness distracted me too much. It's crazy how some people can make you feel. It's nice though. I just hope one day I can find someone who has that connnection and want to be with me all my life.
The deepest connection I had was with my most recent ex (4 months since breakup).
To answer your questions:
1. It was to the point where we would literally say the same things at the same time on more than one occasion or know what the other person is going to say even before they had said it. We had the same humor, i.e. he wasn't grossed out by my jokes and actually thought they were hilarious and came up with his own; we shared the same sexual fantasies and wasn't weirded out by each others' requests; our personalities would have been seen as clingy if with other people but it was what he wanted from me and what I wanted from him.
2. It felt ... special. To be completely accepted and understood by another human being. To be able to look at each other without saying anything and either know what they are thinking or start laughing together while other people are like 'wtf' because we are both thinking of the same joke.
3. We found out we had a lot in common while chatting at first as friends. The deeper connection and inside jokes etc came after we started going out. Maybe a month in.
4. I don't believe in The One. But I do believe some people are more compatible than others. I don't know if I will find another connection like that because there is only one of him in this world and no other man will be exactly the same. But I hope so.
5. Yes, rare.
It was like they saw through to the very core of me, it was frightening but liberating and the real-est experience of my life. it made me feel extremely uplifting when I saw them even if for a second and their voice was so intense to me that it was as if it pinned me to the ground and looking them in the eyes was the strangest thing. it was as if I was stepping out of my world and into there's. lots of unexplainable occurrences happened that's for sure. I connected as soon as we locked eyes and I have never to this day had that strong of a connection, one so intense and real.
BUT I had another that when we first met their presence was also intense but in a different way as in they caught my eye at first but I see that relationship now as infatuation and lust driven, but that's what it got turned into, at first there was a connection, there's always the connection. than from that connection you do what you want from it good or bad, progressive or not. this relationship lasted for 6 months.
Then there was another who is the only one ever to give me butterflies in my stomach I had no idea in hell what that was like before then, also I got dizzy around them at times as well as always seeing them as beautiful but more than that to a point where again you can't describe it anyway that was a fling but one I'll never forget.
Now I am 3 months into a great relationship with this guy that I have connected with. I have known him for a year and this, I know is different. even though my feelings towards him aren't as extreme as the others, I feel its more healthy that way and that over time they will get stronger as it should be. its as simple as We understand each other, We care for each other and we have the desire to put in the effort to keep the relationship moving forward. I am very happy to be where I am now and with him, an amazing guy.
***every time I witness shooting stars I feel a weird rush HA love it
Yes.
We've been apart for over 4 years now, aside from a few visits here and there.
I want him near me every day though.
I've tried letting go and dating other boys, but it never felt right. It seems I'm constantly comparing them to him.
And they don't compare.
He's amazing.
He feels the same way, and that makes me feel better. But most days I don't even know how to deal with all my emotions as they go back and forth from happiness, because I know he's out there, missing me, and sadness, because here I am, missing him.
With him I've felt things no one else can make me feel.
All those love songs out there began making sense.
My first kiss with him, I can't even describe it. Unlike anything. All his kisses make my heart beat faster.
The sappy things he says to me, leave me smiling all day long. Coming from any other boy I would just roll my eyes.
Recently we decided that we no longer can stand to be apart. This March. I'm moving, and he's moving, and together we are going to start fresh in a new city. I'm going crazy waiting. :)
Thanks for posting this. It felt good to write all that out.
What was it like?
It was frightening, as I was just out of high school and barely dated before.
How did it make you feel? How quickly did you connect?
I had always felt surrended by people, but still alone. It was as though they could maybe get aspects of myself, but never more than that. From the first time I hung out with him, we had real conversations that were so honest. At 17/18, that was so refreshing to me. He understood me and I never felt so content talking to someone before. Unfortunately, layers of circumstances keep us in touch, but only friends today. It's the hardest thing in the world because we are friends that always, admittedly, wanted more.
Did you ever find another connection like it?
I have been dating other guys for years. Nothing serious has come of it. He was the only connection I have had that was of that magnitude. Mental, emotional, physical. The chemistry and energy were never like that before or since. I'm not scared of many things, but not feeling that way again is one of them.
Do you think true connections are rare, like kismet?
I think connections are different, like love. There are different levels/types. But, I hope that one connection that always takes you right back, no matter where you are in life, and being completely in sync with one another is two things.. something you can get over one day in time and one you can find more than once. I have not :/ but I am trying to decide I can be friends with him or not, even though when I tried not, I was still in this position. So, Ijust hope for those two things for now.
My mom told me about this thing I think it's called a flame companion. A flame companion is so intense I read that sometimes the connection between two flames companions are too intense for them to handle. It's a wonderful theory. I have met only two guys that I have felt so intensely for. According to the experts, any time you meet someone & feel intense it's a step closer, it's like it's training to be ready when you meet your flame companion. It must be EXTREMELY intense to meet them. Sometimes I wonder what that would feel like. The two men I felt so intensely for made me feel like something about them was calling me it was like magnet.When I would stare into guy #1's eyes I felt different.Like we were on some other level. Guy #2 & I kinda had esp.When I just begin to think about him he would call. I feel #2 was more intense than #1. So idk! I may be crazy but you gotta keep an open mind to all the possibilities! I just wanted to throw this theory in there because I found it rather interesting(:
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