Boyfriend Cuts Himself Over Me

[Anonymous]

i really care for my boyfriend

i was the one who stopped him from committing suicide

and he is really, really attached to me

we got in a small fight the other night and I didn't talk to him until the morning, but in the meantime he injured himself with a razor blade to dull the pain

it wasn't even that big of a fight, and this frightened me that he's going back to his old ways

it's not that I want to break up with him, but now I cannot do it without worrying that he'll do something harmful to himself

he has a history of depression and has had the desire to commit suicide

but when we're not in a fight (usually we're not) everything is fine and dandy

i'm really concerned, how do I make him stop?

i already told him I'd breakup with him if this unhealthy behavior continues and that I'm not worth doing this to himself, but he's like you mean everything to me, I need you in my life, and my biggest fear is losing you

i told him telling me about the cutting is not going to end every fight and have me running on over, and that he needs to stop

i'm a former cutter, myself and I'm finally on the road to recovery, but this hinders it all :[

we've only been going out for a few months ... help - what do I do?

[Chunk-Stonechest]

The biggest mistake you can make is to blame yourself for his masochistic behavior. If you take that step, your boyfriend may as well be pressing that knife against your own flesh. Right now your boyfriend is not capable of having a healthy relationship, and if you want one, you can't be with him. You should talk to his padres, and perhaps share your concerns with your school counselor before you break up with him. Your pal is ripe for another hard spiral.

Acute Clinical Depression is a medical condition. Life events stimulate emotional responses, which in turn generate imbalances in the electro-chemical activity of the brain. Those untreated imbalances can turn your life into a bottomless pit of despair. Each morning brings you the worst day of the rest of your life. You're amazed that the condition finds new ways to grow more powerful. When you fall through a hard, downward spiral, the pain becomes so intense that checking out really starts to make good sense. You obsess about suicide. Where can I find a gun? What caliber bullet will do the job? What about jumping? How many stories do I need to clear to ensure success? I hear it's five. Hey, nobody wants to wind up a prisoner in his/her own body so you don't wanna botch this job.

Without treatment, therapy, and meds, your soon-to-be ex may have nothing to stop his next fall. To make matters worse, your guy may not have the courage to admit he needs to seek treatment for a severe condition, but you can't control that either. Unless you possess some dark arts evil juju, and cast a spell on your boyfriend to enchant him with bad brains, you're not responsible for his condition.

Forgive yourself the guilt you never deserved. Start creating some emotional distance before you blame yourself for his next irrational act.

[Shack]

Let him know cutting is not nice and fears a lot about it now.Let him know he driving you away bit by bit by going on with taht behavior and see what the out come will be.U know he so much into you but you just gotta let him he is to make you happy and not the vice versa.

[wickedillusion66]

LEAVE HIM chances are he's not going to change his ways. the fact that he depends on you that much is not healthy for either one of you. I know first hand I was with a guy like that for a year and 3 months and he said the same things to me and I thought I could "save" him and all that sh*t don't make the same mistakes I did. leave him now and I'll be so much easier on the both of you.

[needaglassawata]

what he's doing to you is a form of abuse, get out before it gets worse. get his mom to get him some therapy or something.

[jacquesvol]

-Tell him he's blackmailing you.

-If he answers he isn't, convince him to visit a shrink: you can not solve his psy problems.

It might put you on the bad road again, as you feel already by yourself.

If you were my daughter, I'd say "dump him" because you'd come first in my heart.

[Anonymous]

This isn't always attention seeking behavior. Many cutters never tell anyone they are doing it.

OTOH, don't reward the behavior by "running over" as you put it.

Depression is a mental illness, encourage him to seek help for it. His family doctor can probably refer him somewhere useful.

What worked for you? Why not tell him to try whatever worked for you.