I give too much and get nothing

[james1970115]

I always give, give, give, flowers fresh daily, tell her how beautiful she is, how much I love her. I cook for her, take her out, buy her a new living room, kiss her, hold her, give her $$ for shopping sprees. She says she loves me and wants to spend forever with me and all is great except one thing - she does not do much for me. Once in a blue moon she will go buy me a bottle of cologne. My biggest complaint is I email her during work and tell her how much she means to me and how beautiful she is and send her a love poem and just on and on to build her up, make her feel good about herself and I get a one liner back with no acknowledgement of my last email or anything I just said to her and no warm and fuzzies for me. What is it? We have been living together for a year and dating for two...I don't get her sometimes...Am I doing something wrong?

[lesang-23]

I think that buying so many gifts for women for no reason isn't a way to make them love you back, it will only make them see you as a great friend. And I believe it doesn't build up the relationship also.

I would say that women will only love men based on who they are such as their personality, funny, have confidence, of course love, and others similarities. You get what I'm saying.

To make someone love is not all about give, give and I must say being too nice to a woman is not a way either. Because women normally see men who are too nice is somewhat "weak, shallow, wussy", as a man you need to take some control. A control to protect and defend your woman. Don't be too nice. Because she maybe using you or will continue seeing you as a friend. You must do something with her that dosen't involve money but spend some time with her and talk to her. Good Luck

[BugginMint]

I went through this with my girlfriend years ago. We started out doing things for each other, but one day I realized I was flying solo. I started doing less and it did take a little while for her to notice, but she definitely did notice. Don't feel guilty, you need to be happy too.

Evidently, she thought I was losing interest and starting giving me all sorts of attention. It just kind of course corrected itself. I think it's just one of the many dynamics you both have to become aware of in order to have a lasting relationship. It can happen sometimes when people are preoccupied with school, work, life, etc.

If she flips out I'd stand my ground and reconsider the relationship.

[charminbear]

Yeah. She is taking advantage of you. She gets all these things reguardless of what she gives back. She might not even realize you feel this way because she still gets spoiled unconditional and doesn't have to go out of her way to keep getting them. If you want things to change then you should tell her how you feel and let her know that its effecting you. Also, chill out with all the lovey dovey stuff. Do nice things for her on occasion because then it'll mean more to her. She will notice them more and feel more flattered which in the long run might make her do more nice things for you. If you never let yourself get thirsty then drinking water isn't very satisfying or refreshing, but if you go for a long run and sweat then drinking that water becomes the most satisfying thing you could do for your body at that moment.

allow her to get thirsy

[iluvgiraffes]

I have noticed that if I don't see someone or talk to someone for a long time and all of the sudden I see them....I appreciate the time spent with the person than if I see and hang out with the person often. I understand that you love her and you want her to know that but it can be shown other than by spoiling her. She might just take it for granted. Try to not send her so many emails don't call her so often don't spoil her with material possesions. See what happens. She might notice that it actually takes the effort of two people to be in a relationship. She may notice that she is taking everything for granted and she will start appreciating everything you do for her more and she will probably showing the same attention to you as you show for her. try it and let me know the outcome :) I am hoping that what I said will halp you.

[vezna]

Have you heard the saying. Baby am I doing too much? I think this is the case here. I was in a relationship and the guy treated me pretty much the same way you've described and I hated it. I felt suffocated and over-loved, which sounds weird I know, but if you give a girl too much too often she begins to lose interest. Some girls like a chase. Also because I used to recieve it all the time it never felt special but my boyfriend now will write me a letter or send me a cute message every month and buy me something thoughtful on every monthly anniversary and I love it because it's such a rare, spare of the moment thoughtful thing that I treasure it more. Try maybe giving your girl a little more time and space to miss you. Then she'll realize what she has and appreciate it more.

[MizzRosa]

You are spoiling her too much. I understand that you two have been together for a year and that you love her but you also have to give her some space...yeah it's nice that you buy her flowers, give her money, etc etc...but now you probably got her thinking oh I have my man on check meaning he can do everything I ask him to do because he gives me anything I want...what you should try is to go talk to her about the problem before one day you get up to the point that you cannot take it anymore and say something you're going to regret.

[cRaZyBeAuTiFuL91]

No, you aren't doing anything wrong. You are doing everything right,actually. Maybe she's in it for what she gets. But maybe not. I can't tell you what she's thinking, but in my opinion she probably is. Try going a while without doing that stuff and see if she sticks with you, then you'll see her true colors.

[Cotton-Candy-Summer]

I bet your girlie brags about you to all of her girlfriends. However, doing nice things for her all the time makes those special things lose their luster. Try saying no when she asks for things and try holding back on the giving. It'll make her crave you and your kindess when it's not there. Or get a more appreciative girl!

[crazngirl]

Yep do what cRaZyBeAuTiFuL91 said. I agree with her- but people shouldn't expect things from each other, the least she can do is return the love- my boyfriend do things for me and I appreciate it and I can't do anything in return but show him how much I love him I'm broke so I can't get him anything and I feel bad. To show someone you love them it's not always buying them stuff though. It's mentally and physically with your actions and words. But actions do speak louder than words.

[joecollege]

You are getting taken for granted. Give her all those things she likes as a reward after she does something you like. The relationship is too lopsided and you are not happy. Don't cave in dude, and speak your mind whenever you feel a certain way (try to be as tactful as possible of course). Keep giving and taking good care of her, but start getting what you want first. If you give someone a reward all the time and never make them work for it, Why should they work at all?

[DSsgurl16]

Sometimes women don't want a man to do that all the time she may need some space or the other case she may just be using you. You need to tell her you need affection too.

[MsVirginChica]

You are not doing anything wrong, she's just using you from what it seems.