Is a total cheapskate expecting to get served his favorite meals asking too much?

[Anonymous]

My previous boyfriend (now ex) expected great/elaborated meals, different soups, creative salads and other desserts. However, the fact that he was demanding and doing little in return (I was working too) to make me feel appreciated got me unmotivated quickly. I started switching back to simple dishes.

I've invited him a couple times to good places (sometimes also spoiled him with a good gift) and he didn't reciprocated. He used to focus on fancy things for himself only, always used discount tickets, wanted to go dutch even on my own b-day, never even gave his own mother a good gift for her b-day and wanted to stay at home on the weekends, doing nothing instead of going out and spending quality time... not move out of the bedroom.

If a boyfriend is acting like that and is a total cheapskate (while his girlfriend isn't) but expecting great desserts and meals to be served isn't that asking too much?

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

At some point I felt as if he was treating like some cheap booty call or friends with benefits type and still expecting to be served like a king with elegant meals.

Updates

+1 y

I was his girlfriend but didn't feel treated like a girlfriend.

[MrOracle]

I'd be interested in his perspective, but if what you are saying is true, then, no, he didn't deserve "extras."

In a healthy relationship, both people pull their share of the load (whatever the work tasks happen to be, which includes your job (s), housework, yardwork, car maintenance, etc. should be shared as equally as reasonably possible). If he was doing the bare minimum, but expecting you to go above and beyond, that's not reasonable.

Maybe he did things that you're not "counting", or maybe he's a lazy, entitled piece of crap - I don't know. But if you were to ask the girls I've dated, they'd all tell you that I pulled my fair share and more, and that I took good care of them, and so they were motivated to take good care of me in return. That's the way it's supposed to work.

[Asker]

I've actually spoken to one of his ex gfs whom contacted me. She was happy to hear that I broke up. She also had the same issue of him being a cheapskate and that she used to pay the rent and his cellphone, that he only gave her a Reeses peanut butter bar for $1.29 for Valentine's Day meanwhile she gave him a good perfume.
Apparently he never had money nor time for anyone or was broke but for himself he had money for good shoes, nice watches and other fancy things... just for HIM only.

[Asker]

She also complained that he would only stay in the house for, wanting sex all the time and not being interested in spending quality time nor do other things that make a woman feel appreciated. Apparently I'm not the only woman he has treated like that.

[MrOracle]

Then it sounds like you are good to be rid of him.

[molonski2]

I think he's pretty dam selfish quite honestly , I bet he had a mother who waited on him hand to foot , doing his washing , and cooking his meals , he was just putting zero into that relationship , you are better off without him. Cut clean the DEAD WOOD !

[Asker]

yeah I was tired of it all. The most upsetting thing is he was a cheapskate to me, his mother and others... always claming to be broke or saving money but suddenly having money for his brand new shoes, an expensive necklace and other fancy things for just HIMSELF. That's not the same as someone that's really saving money for important things but still values those they care about and puts some effort.

[molonski2]

Just a selfish arsehole in my view , did not want anyone else to enjoy , even a small gift.