Why do people want to settle down so early?

[Anonymous]

Why do people feel the need to have kids and get married so young? Don't you think it's better to get married and have kids after you've traveled, established a career, matured. I had one mate who spent thousands on a wedding only to find him on our flat couch 2 months later with a messey divorce.

I also think it's better for the kids to have older parents who are better off financially and get make better decisions.

Im not hating on anyone who is young, married settled down. I'm just wondering why so many people do so young?

[LemguinLunge]

I feel the same way as you. I think a lot of people Rush into it way too much. Probably because there young and don't fully realize how much work it is to raise a family. Or don't know what they really want in a life partner. Or they use there parents or grandparents who got married young as an example. Even though they lived in a FAR different generation than today. When young marriages were common. The economy was a lot better. And divorce was much harder to obtain.

I personally never want kids or to get married. I'm perfectly happy being single and having friends. Some people think its selfish that I'm focusing purely on my career and hobbies instead of raising a family. But iv seen far too many people who have children when they financially can't support them and they end up on welfare. And not to mention I do occasionally devote time to helping others in my community. There's no shame in being a bachelor.

I think more people should be responsible and wait until there life is more stable. But I'm never one to tell others how they should live. Its there life.

[kheserthorpe]

People have never settled down later in the history of the world.

As for what's better for the kids, healthwise, its better if parents are younger, energy wise younger, wealth wise, older, helping out with the grandkids one day younger. You have kids at 40, they do the same, you'll barely know your grandkids, and won't be able to do anything other then shuffle over to look at them.

There are tradeoffs. Plus you have them later, you're thinking about retirement still paying kids through school. You have kids at 25, by the time you're 50, they're launched in the world, you can do a lot of travelling then on a higher bonus.

Good and bad things with both.

I think its good to know what you want in a partner before getting married, really know, and know its them. On the other hand, I think building a real single life then trying to adjust... I'm not sure that's best.

[COCOCHANEL]

this

[swiftsaver602]

Yes. I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Well, for me, I don't really have a great family. Or much of a family. I don't know my mother or any of that side of the family, and my fathers side is a bit wild for me. So, I think, I am more just wanting a family of my own.

But, I think my main reason for wanting a serious relationship right now, is because I am scared of marriage. And, the longer I am with someone, the more promising it seems. I would never have kids at this age though. I am more--just wanting romance and a good solid relationship. My plan is/was date for 4-5 years, then marriage, then after 3 years have kids. haha Though, I am not looking for a serious relationship now. I have kind of given up on them

[washize]

Thats what they're supposed to do. People don't question why, or if its what they REALLY WANT until after they realize they've made a huge mistake.

The internet allows a voice for the men and women who REGRET getting married, who REGRET having children, who HATE being married, and HATE being parents.

Most of them always say, they never wanted that life, they simply did it because other people (friends, family, and society) told them to.

However its not surprising because people are stupid and rarely think anything through.

[abundantlyrich]

The culture of youths today is about getting what they want, and they do very quickly. Call them the most spoilt generation, if you will. They don't like to be told so let them learn their biggest mistakes and they'll live to tell that story to their offsprings oneday.

I think the media (Thanks Disney) and their upbringing also plays a big part in helping that to happen.

[523206720]

When you are older you are strong enough to have a good family but when you are younger you are able to enjoy the pleasures of romance, sexuality, joy, innocence, youthfulness, health, strength and vigour. As you age those things decrease in value. I don't know many innocent or trusting people over the age of 30.

[Tractorbeam]

Innocence becomes replaced by experience. Everything else still remains. I could still work a 90 hour day in late 40s. Yes, that's almost 4 days x 24 without sleep. Where are the young people who can do that, and do the same the following week if necessary?

[Tractorbeam]

Spending money on an expensive wedding is bullshit. Never get married and tell your kids the same thing.
You should own your car and be buying a house, before you think about having kids. I think you should even need a licence to have kids. Most people have kids for all the wrong reasons, and we end up with over-population and a fucked planet.

[heavensgift2girls]

That goes against human biology. It wasn't that long ago that humans wouldn't have lived long enough to develop relationship and have kids that late in life.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

I have no clue , it is a terrible financial decision too. Also its because they believe it is socially expected of them or something. Or have some fairytale type of fantasy in their mind

[Anonymous]

Religious folks marry young. It also depends on what their goals are in life. Especially for a woman if you find a good man and want marriage you don't walk away so fast considering the older we get the less desirable we are. I'm hitting 23 and completely single. I am not old but I feel that time is going by fast and I'm not as accomplished as I wanted to be.

[Anonymous]

I second what everyone else said. Plus, as a child of older parents, it was difficult growing up with a father that passed early on and no grandparents to experience.

[COCOCHANEL]

i'm worried about my family, namely my mom who is in her mid60s.