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46Opinion
You and the guy who wrote "The fall of Marriage and relationships: It's relation to Feminism" have a lot to talk about. Of course you are both Anonymous, so I can't point you to him directly.
And what was the gist of what he wrote? He's some dumb women-hater, I presume?
agreed... both of are the polar extremes and yet have something in common: dictating on how people should live their life.
While, I personally have no interest in being a stay-at- home mother, that doesn't mean there aren't women and men interested in sharing that lifestyle because they like it. Just because I'm about to get a bachelor's degree towards the end of this year doesn't make me better than a housewife either.
Would be cool if anyone can choice the goals and lifestyle they want in life without getting judged nor have someone like the anon asker saying what they should like.
You sound like a asshole. Children need their mother! if a couple both agree its for the best if the wife stays home to raise the kids then do not bash their choice! being a mother is a full time job!
"being a mother is a full time job!"
For about 5 years. Then it becomes a part-time "on-call" job.
Children need their fathers too. In fact, the single biggest indicator for negative outcomes in a persons life is fatherlessness, for both boys and girls.
However, I don't disagree with your thesis statement: Dude sounds like an asshole.
Anyone as lazy as the women you describe is contemptible, male or female. I think you are over-exaggerating the problem here but I agree with the general idea of what you are saying. Women should contribute financially as well but if a woman is gonna stay at home all day then the house had better look pretty damn nice. It isn't fair to sit back and watch cable all day when your partner is paying for two or more people.
Thank you for understanding. It seems other people here are somehow believe sloth is acceptable.
I don't have a problem with stay at home moms. What I have a problem with is seeing women on this website ask if they should move in with their boyfriends and even though they tell you in the details of the question that they have no job. Their question is usually asking if they should move in followed by my boyfriend has a job and in in college full time. These women in particular will ask this question and try to feel guilty when they know very well that they are going to move out of their parents out knowing they have no job just because their boyfriend works. It's not just college students who do this its regular women who are not in college trying to move out with no job no income and they have to depend on their boyfriend for everything
*im in college full time
*parent's house
What bothers me is that these women move out deliberately knowing dang well they have no job. I could understand if the person got fired after moving in but I'm not talking about that circumstance.
Then when these women move in with a guy when they have no job they act like they are stuck with the guy when the girl knew what she was doing when she moved in unemployed in the first place. It makes no sense how SOME women expect to have equality yet they want to be a housewife
Now that I agree with. And to be honest, it's sheer stupidity! You're are moving in with a guy and have to back plan. No contingency. What if they break up and he kicks her out? She'll end up with her parents again? Those girls I call losers, or gold digger, leeches, freeloaders. Those are the type you should watch out for. Stay at home moms have reasons to why they do it. It's all about the motive.
Have no back up plan*
You're moving in*
Damn, I cannot type today
With the technology we have these days stay at home moms can work from home. Well the ones that want to help at least.
Ugh. You describe a truly disgusting situation.
Well some women want to be stay at home moms but I don't. What bothers me is that some women who want to be stay at home moms don't even want to try to work to contribute. They just automatically think their husband will want them to stay at home without even talking to their husband about it.
My dad was a stay at home dad, is that also unacceptable? Because the fact that I got to spend time with my actual parent instead of a daycare worker seems worth it to me!
Yes, it's also unacceptable. Sloth and taking advantage of others is unacceptable.
do you remember anything? I don't have any memories except for images from my toddler years.
@vampireEmpress he's always been a stay at home dad! He had his own business that he worked from home. But eventually went to full time stay at home parenting.
cool. the business sounds really cool!
A vagina does not get a free pass, alright. But a warm home and a family to come home to in return for a hard day at work is a free trade in my opinion.
Plus, don't hide behind anonymity if you speak in such a manner. Grow some balls.
Everyone has their own type. If a woman wants to go out to work, that's her choice. If a woman wants to stay at home focus on "being a house wife", that's her choice. Sometimes you have reverse situations, like that movie "Mr. Mom", where the woman has a nice high paying job, and the husband stays at home with the kids and house work. You know what you don't want in a partner, at least. I would want a partner that is supportive of my choices, like I would be for his.
Yes, it's her (or his) choice. It's also extraordinarily selfish and irresponsible, both on the familial and societal level.
If they are lazy, sure. Some are and take advantage, which isn't right. But there are some that put in a lot of effort.
Thanks for your opinion, but I don't think it is up to you to decide what is right and wrong if a couple is happy with their situation and it was a mutual decision, that is their business.
And when the sole provider loses his (or her) job and their family starts becoming a burden to society, how is that not my business?
There are always going to be certain circumstances that are obviously not ideal. When you have a family you do what you need and feel is right to do for them. That is different for everybody. I have known families with multiple incomes that have both lost jobs due to the economy. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on to the next job. This could happen to any family- single or double or even triple income. How they deal with it is still none of your business.
Oh man. The antagonism is real here.
While it's not a choice I would make for myself, I support it as a valid choice for other women. Not everyone has the option of affordable daycare for their children and thus must stay home until their kids are in school full time.
Honestly, it's not my place to judge.
They should get high-paying work, then daycare is a non-issue. There is no reason everyone shouldn't be part of an affluent family. If both parents are pulling their weight, then there is no excuse.
Plus, it's selfish and irresponsible. If the sole provider loses their job, then the family either starves, gets gov't assistance, or imposes upon friends/family. The societal implications more than justify having a negative response to single-income families.
"They should get high-paying work" ---> this isn't always an option. Depending on the economy, your field may not be hiring (such as mine right now ie oil) so you have to take minimum wage positions.
I agree that single income households are risky but I'm not going to vilify stay at home parents for making that choice.
trolling attempt apparently quite successful bc of the rage comments.
just going to say
someone's got to raise the kids they unfortunately don't fend for themselves from birth (selfish clearly)
Both parents should be working. What happens if the sole provider loses their job? Is the family supposed to starve? Burden society by requiring government assistance?
It's damnably selfish and irresponsible.
LOL where to begin with this nut job? Comparing staying at home taking care of "ill family members" to being a stay at home mom is a complete JOKE. I'll venture to bet at some point you were able to LEAVE the house and grab some lunch, a nap, sleep a decent 8 HOURS at night, or use the bathroom when you needed to, eh? hahahah.
Really though, I could rant on in defense of SAHM's but the issue isn't them, it's whiney assholes like YOU. I'll just say, you clearly are a Narcissist, so if I were you, I wouldn't worry about preoccupying yourself with thoughts of all the kinds of women that you just "won't tolerate" because unbeknownst to you, no SELF RESPECTING woman that would be WORTH HAVING would even WANT YOU.
Troll harder, troll
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVTCyUb9pVsYou're Either A troll or your priorities and ideals are so mixed up you do indeed live underneath a bridge. :) good luck in life buddy
When the sole provider loses his/her job (let's make sure we include the stay at home dads...), then what happens to the family? Starvation? Government assistance? Imposing upon extended family/friends?
Any responsible family has money in the bank. There should be a 3 month fund saved back at all times. If you were capable of taking care of your family, you'd be plenty capable of finding another good job in a short amount of time. Plus, if you were any good at your job, you more than likely wouldn't have lost it in the first place. No, there is no reason to rely on government assistance or family. Rely on yourself. Only you can do whats best for you.
My reaction to the title and the amount of women who have already commented:
media.giphy.com/media/GjYjLvGErsggg/giphy.gif
But either way a nice, simple to-the-point take. Maybe slightly agressive but effective.
Taking care of a home entirely by yourself isn't easy at all. I learned it the hard way this summer when my mom was away and my dad got sick and went to the hospital for weeks and I had to take care of him and the house while going to school and writing lab reports... I would barely get 5 hours of sleep. It made me realize how much my mom actually does around the house to keep it running so smoothly.
While I'm glad you learned something from such an unfortunate situation, you should never have been placed in that situation, and wouldn't have been had your family been more responsible with their finances. Had she been working, that burden would have been spared.
What finances? I am talking about school work. We don't have financial problems and I don't work but juggling school and house work while taking care of family members is quite difficult.
My fiancee is deeply religious. If we have children, she's going to raise them, and we may even home school them.
Hey, if you want some daycare to raise your children, good for you.
How are we child abusers? The public school system is beyond saving.
Sorry, homeschooling = abuse. I was taught from home for an extended period, and thank the powers that be that I was eventually placed in an environment where there were other people around to challenge the erroneous ideas brainwashed into me by "loving, religious" parents.
you'll save a lot of money! not having to pay all those school expenses. public school should be free. daycare, school, and college costs are incredible. and there's no reason for it.
@VampireEmpress: If public school should be free, who's going to pay the teachers who are working to teach your kid?
@musicbrain5 I'm pretty sure the government already pays the schools or gives them funding? I don't think the book or other fees are used for paying for the teachers.
There are countries where universities are free for native citizens.
@VampireEmpress: The government gets that money through taxes, which you're paying every year and also through sales tax. It costs money to build schools and to maintain them, and to pay teachers, administrative staff, and maintenance staff. Teachers are paid with tax money that's been allotted to the school board they work for. Citizens who don't have children in public schools still have to pay taxes that go towards maintaining the public school system.
It would be great if school was completely free, but teachers and future teachers like me would have no income.
Anon opinion owner: It works the same way in those countries. The tuition is subsidized through government money, and that's why taxes are much higher in those countries.
@musicbrain5 Oh, I know that. I was just saying.
A mom can stay at home to watch younger children if she wants, but after a while, like past age 2 or 3, the child can be in Daycare.
To be honest, it's weird when a mom is a stay at home mom and she has teenagers. Kids grade 4 or 5 and up can take care of them selves for a few hours if responsible enough. As for the house, that's no real actual excuse. Everyone can pitch in to do house work on a certain day. Or have chores.
Why would you put a child in daycare and pay someone else to take care of your child when YOU as their parent can? That literally makes no sense. Not to mention many families, like myself included, homeschool. I have a 4 year old I teach preschool to, and a toddler at home. Many families also have more than 1 child, so they're constantly at home tending to the younger ones even if the older ones are in school. And my 1.5 year old
pitches in" with the housework about as much as a toddler can LOL. You have no clue what you're talking about.
I don't know how long this has been up here cause there are no date. I was ready to dismiss this as ignorance, but something about this didn't make sense to me. I am a stay at home mom with 4 children. My husband doesn't mind and we are doing well financially. Based on the assessment of the author, I should have a job no matter what to contribute to the household. I read quite a few of the comments and there is something that doesn't make sense. It seems the prevailing thought is I should get a job and then hire people to then do everything that I do now. (maid, cook, nanny/ babysitter/daycare, financial adviser, chauffer, personal shopper, tutor, etc). Why is it OK for me to hire someone to do these jobs but it is not OK for me to do them myself? Here is a general cost break down of the averages of just some of the services in my area per month.
Maid: $680
Cook: $2,592 (just dinner)
Nanny/daycare: $2,500 (just for my infant)
Agreed on the condition she is as worthless as you described, but then again you should be able to notice these things about her before you marry her.
On the other hand, should you have kids and a household and she is managing all that jazz, I would say it's good business.
No, I disagree. She should be out of the house working. If she's capable of generating $100 an hour or more, she shouldn't be wasting time and money on $7 an hour work.
Difficult to take you seriously, when you hide behind anonymity. I agree up to the point where you say house chores are easy. Begs the question why you even want a family of your own in the first place? So you are out making good money meanwhile your kids are what? Calling their nanny "mommy"?
You 'll have a difficult time when you value someone based on the money they make. The women who share your opinion are indeed out the door and making money not giving a damn about you, so your options are kind of limited.
Who the hell gets paid $100 an hour? Even $25 an hour is a lot.
This is one of the most ignorant posts I have ever seen on this site!