Why Do We as Humans Feel it is Compulsory to Judge?

[Jen1406]

Why is it that we judge? We all judge every day, every thing. We judge hairstyles, fashion, how others raise there children and even who they are dating or are married to. We judge by sex, sexual orientation, skin colour, race and even politics and religion.

Religious judgments lead to war and even politics. Those are probably the most dangerous topics although I can understand that politics affect an entire country, but how does another religious believe affect your life?

How do we call this humanity? Why is such big judgement such as politics and religion not heard of everyday but if you look at the LGBT community, the judgement is so magnified. Is it real or just for attention? How can a girl that is fat, who is being judged for being fat cope better with it than a transgender person being judged for their gender? I understand that we need to fight for our rights but why doesn't humanity allow people to be? Then we don't have to fight for our rights.

Why is it that judgement push more and more people to suicide? The fact that so many LGBT people commit suicide is out there big and bright but I know about women or more girls that committed suicide due to judgement on their looks and weight.

Most of the time when we judge someone, it actually has no affect on our lives whatsoever. How does it affect our life if a man is ugly, or a woman fat or how others raise there children or what car they drive? How does a gay man or a lesbian affect our lives that we need to judge them and take them out on it?

Isn't it due to all the judgement that we feel the need for validation from other people and is the conclusion then that no one is ever truly them self? That we dress and act upon how others think how we should be or how we should look?

Just look at the negative impact media has on other women. All those models in those adverts are photoshoped and still, we all want to look like that. I am one of them. The world has set a standard that is called normal but, how can you have a normal on a planet with billions of people on it? Isn't normal then just a setting on a washing machine?

Don't we all wear masks to cover up who we are? Isn't our reality what we create in our minds, or does being yourself and to live in harmony make you insane?

What if we can all take our masks off right now and show our true colours? A guy can tell a girl exactly how he feels and she won't judge him, a girl can be happy with how she looks even if she is overweight without judgments. We can let our fellow humans be what makes them happy as long as it brings no harm to another.

Why can't we just let it be???

Let this be

or this

Don't we actually live in the matrix then because we are controlled by the majority? And aren't we heading for disaster?

[BambooforPanda]

What you're talking about here is the In-Group, Out-Group Coalition, a recognized facet of human morality, which is instinctive and subconscious. That is why people judge.

Before I get into how it applies here, I just want to explain it and it's role from an evolutionary standpoint. People subconsciously pick up cues based on visible identifiers (clothing, mannerisms, skin color) of a person belonging to certain groups (muslim, black, gay) and identify with members of their own group, and not members of other groups. In the early hunter-gather societies this is crucial for survival, as members of other groups are likely to steal from, maim or kill members of your group to increase their own group's chances of survival.

So here we have a primitive survival instinct at play in a society where we are afforded the luxury of ample resources. Group identity isn't nearly as important, but the feelings still exist. Think about when you play or watch a sport, and how you feel about your own team vs the opponent. Even though it's in fun, that drive to compete to win, and the feelings against the other team is this instinct at work in a smaller capacity. Where there is no logical reason to hate someone because they are different, it still happens.

However, we're not totally hopeless. People are able to consciously asses things and determine if they pose a risk or not and manually override this instinct. The problem is that a lot of people do not think reflectively or are simply too dumb to make the connection. It takes intelligence to overturn what is our base nature. So people really have no choice but to judge, it is compulsory to judge by our very nature.

The real question is, why aren't we using our critical thinking to understand our judgments?

[RolandCuthbert]

Haha! As you can see, littered throughout the thread people are busy trying to justify discrimination and stereotyping. They claim their "judgements" are necessary. They leave out the fact that none of them like to be judged. In fact in their belief system, they have constructed a framework to them that seems objective. That they should be free from being judged or critiqued negatively because of their own group.

I submit none of these people who claim judging is necessary will agree that their grouping should be judged negatively.

I think that some people create a culture by which they can hang onto their biases. They create a system that keeps them ignorant. That way they can hang onto the negative stereotypes they have of others. And they can use this system to keep themselves away from experiences that would change their minds.

I have many friends who have had to deal with negative stereotyping and judgement. I myself have experience it also.

But, I don't worry about it. I try to treat folks the way I would wish to be treated. I value folks who take the time to get to know me.

There is no way to convince people who cling to ignorance.

I have said this a million times. You can only find those who support and validate you. You can only be kind to people, help those in need, and try to be a good person.

And tell the haters to take a flying leap.

[OlderAndWiser]

I meet two women at a party; they are good friends. They are both single, heterosexual, and in my age range. One of them is very, very cute and the other is a plain Jane. If I don't make a judgment about who would be the better prospect for dating, how do I decide which one to ask for a date? I must make a "judgment."

Judgments are necessary in our lives everyday. I have a question and need advice, so I make a judgment about which one of my friends is most likely to provide useful advice. I have an invitation to dinner but I'm not certain that I want to spend 1-2 hours with the person extending the invitation, so I must make a judgment.

The word "judgment," like the word "discriminate," has some unfortunate connotations that always cloud the use of the words. As a pilot, you make discriminations every day. You make judgments. However, you rarely need to communicate those judgments to others, particularly the objects of your judgments.

It would be more helpful to focus on communicating adverse judgments about other people vs. keeping those opinions to ourselves. That is where the evil lies.

[Djaay]

Choices and judgements are not the same thing.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Djaay

1. These discussions always occur without defining the terms and those two concepts often get intermingled.

2. Choices are based on the judgments that I make; they are not made in a vacuum. I observe certain objective facts and then I make subjective evaluations of those facts.

[Djaay]

We can spend a lifetime making all sorts of judgments , yet we spend little , if any , time making distinctive life choices.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Djaay If you say so, but I don't see what a platitude adds to the discussion.

[Djaay]

Its not a platitude. Its the difference between heart and mind. ( Judgements , or decisions ) vs choices.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Djaay That is according to your definition. Therein lies the problem.

[Djaay]

What problem?

[yodaiam]

"If I don't make a judgment about who would be the better prospect for dating, how do I decide which one to ask for a date? " Pretty simple really. TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW THEM. You act like you are forced to fuck and jump into relationships right off the bat, and people wonder why most relationships turn to shit, it's because we never take time to get to know people PRIOR to dating them. We just look, judge, and guess... Be friends with someone. Spend time hanging around different people in mutual settings. I know, this involves being GASP single... (god forbid you exist as a single person).

[OlderAndWiser]

@yodaiam I don't know how old you are since you lied about your age, but I probably have been single more years than you have been alive. I understand the need to get to know people. Guess what? You can't really date two friends at the same time. Tell them that you just want to be friends first and you'll get friend zoned.

By the age of 118, I would expect a person to not make so many assumptions without adequate information. That seems very. . . judgmental!

[yodaiam]

You talk to me about making assumptions... first of all, do you care to step down from your 60 something year old perch and discuss this on even ground. It's hard to hear you when you're up on your high horse.

secondly, my age is my age. It has no bases on maturity, life experience or intelligence.

thirdly, Assumptions... You assume the only way you can get to know people is by dating them, which defeats my entire point. I say get to know people PRIOR to dating them. And your response is to say "I can't get to know people WITHOUT dating them."

And you talk at me like I'm the one who needs to grow and learn in life. My friend, do you know what it's like to lose someone you've loved, because I do. We started as humble as friendship does, we didn't kiss or date (each other, or others) and several months later, we were in love... Started kissing and dating. She died several years ago, but she taught me all about what I'm trying to share here.

[OlderAndWiser]

@yodaiam If you think that age has no bearing on maturity and life experience, you are showing your lack of maturity and lack of experience. I do not have the patience to tolerate any more arrogant condescension from you tonight.

[MrMysteryMan]

@wowjuswow @Djaay What Mr. OlderAndWiser is trying to educate you guys on is that we all make decisions based on our judgments of the environment or circumstances we are involved in. It's really just human nature. "Should I touch that plant?", I have to make a judgment based on my experiences with different plants and upon my environment I'm in. Am I in an environment where there is poisonous plants. My judgement is that I am not. Now, have I seen this plant before or know anything about it for me to feel it's safe enough to touch? My judgement is, it looks like a plant that I safely touched before and why would anyone have poison ivy in an apartment building? My judgment is, it would be safe to touch.

The choice comes to if I do touch it or not.

[MrMysteryMan]

Now judgments can be very superficial, or they can be very important. It's mostly how we tell right from wrong. However, depending upon how we learned what is right and wrong or how we interpret good and bad, alters and affects our judgments. Also, our cultural background, our faith, the problems we deal with, our outlook on society and to an extent our age and gender, will alter our judgment as well. But it's all human nature and it helps us navigate our lives to the best way we can or the way we want to.

[Djaay]

@MrMysteryMan. Sounds very good , although , you've also missed the difference between ( judgements or decisions ) and choices.

[MrMysteryMan]

@Djaay I don't think so.

[Djaay]

@MrMysteryMan. I know so...

[OlderAndWiser]

@Djaay So you are a mind reader. Very impressive!

[Djaay]

Doesn't take any effort to read what someone has written , how's that mind reading when they've explained themselves. ? Nice try...

[OlderAndWiser]

@Djaay Okay, fair enough. Show me where he said that judgments and decisions are the same thing.

[Djaay]

Judgements and decisions are the same thing.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Djaay Wrong. I can make a judgment that a girl is a slut and still choose to be involved with her.

choice
an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.

Judgment
an opinion or conclusion

I have decided that you are a troll and this is not worth any more of my time. I'm sure that you will respond so you can have "the last word." If that constitutes a victory in your world. . . enjoy it!

[Djaay]

Now you have admitted that judgements and choices are different.

[JimRSmith]

We all make judgments every single day, and for valid reasons.

Human nature.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a lot wrong with this but primarily it lies on how things actually work and what social judgment actually entails. So I first want to start by segmenting a few concepts here because throwing all of it under the umbrella term "judgment" creates an illusory error of equality.

So first I'd like to suggest that humans naturally categorize things. So we don't, as you put it, post mental judgment based on those simple categories so much as we just acknowledge them. For instance, sex, human sex is a physical reality, whether we like it or not, and has biological implications that go beyond our mental considerations. Only female humans get pregnant from sexual intercourse, for instance, and no amount of consideration or scrutiny will change this.

The reason why this is important to discuss though is because the second element of social judgment or things that are completely within our control such as gender norms shouldn't be intermixed. Your skin color is not equivalent to your social stereotype. So the question of why we judge is more complex than simply providing allowances for everything around us because this creates another intrinsic problem: Criminality.

Let us take the deviant. The problem with this conversation every time it is held is that we list off the unpopular but harmless, such as homosexuals or general population regarding religion, but let's say that exhibitionism is biological. So we now have someone who enjoys flashing other people. How do we deal with that? Is it a crime? What exactly is the crime?

Judgment in this context begins to scrutinize this question intensely. We are no longer talking about humans who choose strange and honestly rather ugly adornments and saying "Kumbaya!" like a bunch of morons. Judgment in humans allows us to discern behavioral normality and abnormality and to decipher whether or not social construction can allow for certain biological realities and behavioral extensions of those realities.

And how we judge things is also very important. A pair of thieves. Thief one has kleptomania. Thief two just wants to eat and has not in a week. Can really treat them the same? If we give the same support or punishment to the two will there be a difference? Yes.

So the reason you, I and everyone judges is really to complex to fit in even a few thousand words unfortunately. All I can ultimately say is that this blurb is common but heavily inaccurate. You really have to think about the "bad" too.

[Anonymous]

Judgments are made off biased opinions that are based on their personal past experiences and/or learned beliefs.

Our brains have a protective mechanism (ego); what it doesn't understand, it fears which can lead to hate. Reasons for hate include; prejudice, arrogance, superiority syndrome, self-loathing, mental illness and ignorance.

Example; People who claim to hate stupid people. These people who share these claims... Most likely have a superiority complex. They were privileged to receive an education and most likely lack the patience to emotionally deal with people who can't grasp the same concepts without the same educational background. These privileged people also probably fear the dangers that these "stupid" people can create for others and our future generations because they now understand how knowledge can save the future. Therefore, they make a lazy and quick judgement to save them the trouble of putting in effort and pain to deal with the... said problem of "stupid" people.

This is my judgement on the matter. Been there, I believe I understand it. I could be only half right, no one is every truly right.

[YoungManTryin]

There are two main ways to judge; one is beneficial, and the other is harmful.
First, the harmful one. One can judge someone in the sense that they condemn them for whatever reason. Maybe they don't like their hairdo, maybe they think that they shouldn't be smoking- plug in whatever you dislike. Condemn it. Punish it. This is the first kind of judging, which we all rightly say not to do, because we do not have authority to dish out punishments- we don't know how to properly punish, we don't even know for sure what should be punished- this role is, for the most part granted to the government, but ultimately only God, a being greater than us, can do this kind of judgment because He has authority.

The second kind of judgment is discernment. To judge rightly is to determine what something is. Sleeping in all day? It's causing problems with your work, family, and mental health? Recognize that it's bad, and fix it. The difficult thing about this is that one can learn that some things, although good in some ways, are ultimately a net loss.

The difficulty that leads to people judging and condemning one another is often the lack of control over one's own judgement. Someone could find that they are doing well by judging rightly and improving their life, but then find that they took a further step past their authority, discerning for others and deciding the punishment in place of God. On the other extreme, one may find that they stopped judging people, but in not judging, they no longer work to understand what is good, and fall to nihilism, no longer discerning right from wrong, and thus being taken by the deceitful temporary pleasures of life.

[readywriter]

We judge to survive. That goes not mean all judging is fair or good. To judge something does not mean it is bad just because you judge. We judge things from as small like the toothpaste you pick to colleges and marriage partners and all the judgements in between. We make judgements about safety. Some of this maybe that some peoples looks may scare you or in the case of one of the pictures may make you sick or at least wonder about their mental health. They would certainly scare some children. So we judge not to see them and tell others as a warning. If you do something abnormal to the culture (culture decides what right and wrong and affects moral issues as well) a judgement will be made if it is unsafe, immoral, stupid or what ever cause. And decisions will be made as it will affect you. Now if you engage in abnormal behavior and then make a issue that you are abnormal you will be seen as out of the culture and therefore unsafe for the community norms. So if you are going to be subversive of the culture you must accept the consequences.

[CHARismatic110]

There is necessary judging, that can also be called decision making in every day life and activities. And there's judging for the hell of it because that's what people have been conditioned to do. The latter of the two is where you run into problems. Humans are cruel, entitled creatures and society is the reason why.

[Good_Behavior]

You can't blame society for human behavior because all a society is happens to be a collection of humans who have gotten together and decided that they like the cut of one another's jib. Society is bad because the people are bad.

[yodaiam]

@Good_Behavior it's true, we all are accountable to ourselves, society doesn't control how we act out, it just reflects what we are conditioned to do, if we fail to rise above that, that's on us...

[CHARismatic110]

@Good_Behavior @yodaiam you both aren't completely wrong. People are indeed responsible for themselves and their actions, but society doesn't get away blame free here. At least nit in my opinion.

[Good_Behavior]

So then is it the fault of the leaders and major players? Society, as a concept, is ambiguous and ever changing. It is very hard to blame something that shifts the moment a finger touches it as though it were a solid and rigid thing that has implied consciousness. It is much like the media which merely panders to what wants to be heard for if it did not it would end as a business.

[yodaiam]

"but society doesn't get away blame free here. At least nit in my opinion. "

Oh yeah, Absolutely, apologies if you felt I wouldn't agree with that, You can talk that on to the end of my prior post, I would absolutely assert that alongside what I was saying. It's both of those things.

[yodaiam]

@Good_Behavior oh god the media. I hate them. by all means, judge them freely and critically lol... be a merciless god to them. lol

[MlleCake]

One of the higher aspects of human intelligence is the ability to take many factors into account and discern something about the situation or the other person in a socail interaction. It's natural, and it's normal.

The issue is not that we judge.

It's that we let other people feed us mistruths about who and what other people are, and then we let them become our own perception instead of judging things using our own powers of observation.

It's imperative that we retrain ourselves to use fair and reasonable criteria for evaluating other people, that we admit some of our judgement may be based on faulty ideas such as racism, sexism, etc.

But we actually can't stop judging. That higher mind is what makes us human.

I encourage you to dig deeper into this subject.

[MrMysteryMan]

Wow, sexy and WISE!

[BigGuy8]

It's in our nature to judge. People feel the need to judge everything, from each other to what is going on across the globe. When you judge something, you have made a decisive thought about the situation, something you feel is justified due to the evidence presented to you. That does not mean you are right, just that you made that judgment. The major issue is, many people make bad judgments every day of their lives. Either by thinking the wrong thing or jumping to conclusions, or just being biased in one direction or another. As long as people can think, they will judge.

[MichaelN1991]

Judgement is part of many professions. Ie, doctors deciding whether a disease is an epidemic or not, engineers deciding whether a design is safe and functional. Our society is based on rules, legal the lowest standard, professional code next, then ethics, and the highest level morals. We judge people's performance in school at work, accident records. Bids are evaluated by estimates provided. The list goes on. Judgement is part of our everyday life. We are expected to dress a certain way when go to work. It's difficult not to judge. Unfortunately, we use judgement to discriminate against people, in order to. get our way, because our systems are set that way. People take advantage of each other with judgement. Judgement has it's benefits for the greater good, however, we tend to abuse judgement of others. We can judge, but it needs to be done responsibly.

[gobsmacked3]

jy es baie wunderlik

I see you are a pilot. This has been on my mind forever. Do you think Hansie Cronje's death was suspicious?

as for your Take.

100% agree. All are equal. Which renders any judgement null and void. The sad reality is the want is arguably human natures greatest flaw :(

[Jen1406]

Bedankt voor het kompliment

I am a student pilot. Got to my dream a little late in life but I am still going strong. To be honest, I didn't even know Hansie Cronje passed away. Not a big sport fan never. Although in South Africa, I will second guess any death.

Love your comment on mytake. Thank you

[coralee]

Because it's human nature. You do it, I do it, everyone does it. It's only a problem if you use those judgments against people. Thinking someone's hair looks stupid is fine, tormenting that person because you don't like their hair is bad. Judgements are fine as long as you keep them in check.

[Goodwifie]

I don't judge a person from what others think about them, I prefer to form my own opinion.
I don't care about a persons race, religion, colour, age, sex, looks, money, job or sexual preference.
But I will judge you on how you treat others and myself.

[yodaiam]

That's fair. That's not really "judging," that's more "Assessing." You look at a person, see how they act, and decide whether you want to be treated the way they will treat people...

that's not being judgmental or judging anyone really, that's just being normal... which isn't common at all at least not as we age.

A baby... he'll come out the womb. he won't care about your race, religion, colour, age, sex, looks, money, job or sexual preference. He'll just care whether or not you pose a threat to it. If you act a positive manner. the baby will be open to you. If you act in a threatening manner, it won't be open to you (and anyone who resembles that person).

[bubble_tea]

Because that's how we're wired, to assess everything so we can make the right choices. I agree that it's unnecessary to voice your opinion most of the times, but when you see a parent physically or verbally abusing a kid, can you really think "Doesn't affect me," and go your way without thinking/judging "Sucks to be that kid."?

[yodaiam]

What? A.) we're not wired to judge... see my above reply... we don't jump out the womb and start making judgements, and even if we did, we wouldn't know what to judge on as we have no prior basis to judge on. B) Judgement is a learned condition, based on the trends that are socially acceptable when we are being conditioned (proof, things that were socially acceptable 20 years ago are different than what is socially acceptable today).

c) it would be great if that's how judgement works... "ie physically abusive parent" -- look at the middle east, south Africa, or pretty much anywhere in Africa... third world countries, South America. Thailand... bad shit happens all the time, we head about it... it doesn't make us go "hmmmm" and do something about it. No. We basically tune that shit out and go on about our lives making decisions and buying things, supporting companies that directly affect people in those countries in a negative manner.

We judge people based off insecurities

[bubble_tea]

@yodaiam A) As a baby, you try to eat everything. If something tastes wrong, you learn to not eat it again as you grow up. Soon enough, you won't eat anything that's green, because you remember that you don't like the taste of all green things you've tried. You don't know that broccoli tastes different than rucola, you just don't want to try it. That's judging with prior basis.

B) We are talking about different things. I mean the basic nature to judge is natural, because it allowed us to survive, and believing the older people in your group is also natural. When those older cavemen tell you those berries are deadly, you believe them and survive. You don't consume a handful and die to find out they were right. That's judging without prior basis.
The kind of conditioning you're talking about does happen and it's awful, but it doesn't mean the need to categorize everything isn't innate.

C) Most people are glad they didn't grow up in those countries. That's judging too.

[dandee55]

There's a difference between judging and being judgmental. My name is taken from the name Daniel, which means "God is my Judge." He is the ultimate judge. Judgement is human nature, but God has given us the ability (with his help) to "judge rightly" -- to know when, where and how to judge.

In his famous speech, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "I
have a dream that...[we]... will not be judged by the color of [our] skin but by the content of [our] character." It's prejudice to judge someone just by how they look. But to judge the content of their character can be "right" judging.

[Anonymous]

Everything you described comes from a low level of consciousness, disconnection from the source of who we are, and an obsession with the future, and a disregard for the now.

With a higher level of consciousness (higher self), every single thing you just mentioned simply could no longer eist, period, and that includes all of the things we judge others on.

[DodgersGM]

Everyone makes judgments. Some people are just more vocal and annoying about sharing them, whereas others tend to internalize their judgments and are more willing to question their validity.

Why do we judge? We judge because we're tribal creatures who haven't moved past the antiquated 'us vs. them' survival mentality. It's unfortunate but true.

[dragonfly6516]

I believe it's because we live in a material world, and we can't exist with out labels. We have a need to label things so that we ca define the rules and boundaries of engagement. When we judge someone, we label them. Those labels can serve as an excuse to avoid dealing with things that we don't like, are triggering, or just "too hard".

[yodaiam]

god. you might be right... especially with the amount of micro managing and micro labeling we have going on today. It's not enough to say "I'm a guy and I like girls"... now you have to say "I'm a cis, heteronormative transifxed bi-this time I'm just making shit up-sexual... And if someone gets our label wrong, Well bigosh, you're a bigot racist, oppressor and I'm offended. How dare you not get my label wrong.

People need to chill their tits and just be. Breathe. Step out of the box they're trying to cram themselves in and live without restrictions.

[LaikaFreefall]

We appraise others in society as an aspect of our nature. We have evolved to observe others in our group and make sure they aren't making things dangerous for the rest of us and, preferably, are contributing.

This natural fixture of humanity is easily extrapolated into "judging" people, which I personally feel is kinda different, but very related.

[cherryphi82]

We have to make certain judgments in order to survive. As another commenter said, it might be evolutionary for reasons of divvying out a threat. But it's when those judgments end up hurting individuals and whole groups of people is when they become inhumane and it's time to unlearn harmful stereotypes.