I need help seriously! Always feeling like I get the short end of the stick in friendships-relationships?

[Anonymous]

I have tried several attempts in seeking for advice only one person answers :P. I am a 25-year-old male, I am having issues with girls in general for years. I never dated in my life, every time I tried or have not tried I get caught up in some pile of shit. What happens, in short, I meet them, we are small friends, she talks to be about great things she did today, I listen and I am proud of her. I never get fully attached to the girl at all, Things start to change when they just start complaining to me after 3-4 months in of knowing her. They start to become mopey and down. I become their emotional support, being there to help with their negativity, it makes me start to like like them during this process. I try to ask to hang out at times, they tell me that they don't have the time, or they are too busy at the time. Weeks later I then see them with a new guy that she really enjoys hanging around and with, I realize that she is physically touching the new guy she is around with, my emotions flare up x10, jelousy, envy, remembrance of past girls kicks in. I am at a breaking point. She comes to me still for emotional support, I am there for her, she nice enough to hand me their contact information such as facebook, I see their facebook and the new guy is all over this girl at a very quick pace. I try to let it go and be positive by messaging them if they want to hang out or such, it takes them weeks to respond back. They eventually kind of give me a hard time and I pretty much know where I stand, being a friend zone rug mat. So I break my ties with this person in a nice way by messaging them (because at this point in time they don't have time to talk to me in person at all), I explain to them that they have a lot of good things, I'm getting hurt in the friendship, I liked them, etc. They never really respond well creating a game out of the situation ( like not being up and forward with me). After I say what I got to say I stop and life goes on. Until

Updates

+1 y

Until, the aftermath of what I've done hits me. The girl gives me the cold shoulder, like everytime I see her she just treats me like I don't exist. She teases me with her new boyfriend, showing how much he cares for her, infront of me, She teases my loneliness by talking to all friends or budding into my conversations only talking to the person that im talking to until the person leaves. I'm just treated so harshly and I can't take it no more.

Updates

+1 y

I still have feelings for this person, I realize I can't do nothing but just watch. I want to stop meeting girls ike this. I just want to be loved like every else. It's getting harder to love myself cause I keep getting into situations like this.

[shan_shan]

you are great.. you have one of the quality of my ideal man sadly your too far😁😁... but really those girls are stupid (Sorry) or they don't watch dramas you get what I mean.. those girls one for sadness one for fun and I don't like that she is showing off infront of you😡 how can she
decent and nice girl wouldn't do that she is not worth it believe with the way you are (being supportive and all) you would get even 5 girls here in my country so move on and she will regret it coz those who look fun get it but that doesn't mean it will last forever
is my advice helpful (coz it seems like I poured my heart to you literally☺)

[Asker]

Well thank you :), I appreciate your support. I'll believe in what you say. This post made me happy.

[shan_shan]

glad you feel that way☺!!!

[Wonderer89]

If you're only starting to like them after they're going through a rough patch and relying on you emotionally then nothing will change. You're literally putting yourself in the zone of friends.
Look at why you're attracted to sad girls who need you, and find ways to enjoy happy girls who want you

[Asker]

Thank you. I've always got these dumb replys of continuing to be myself, there is nothing wrong with me of what im doing, she was just a bad girl, I need to be friends first before I can be in a relationship.

I attract sad girls cause I'm always sad and in a broke state from a previous girl or various random bad events that had happen to me. I am happy externally but I have no liking emotions in a new girl at all. After I realize that she is coming back thought towards me, I develop feelings again.

I don't have any real good things other than being a motivater. I suck at touching girls, I don't like teasing ( because I can be harsh :P), I don't like being cocky.

[Wonderer89]

Friendships can move into relationships but none of mine have... I'm just not that kind of person and sexual attraction (that instant chemistry) is what will determine if their a friend or partner. Really it's only that one statement in your post that stuck out for me, you're attracted to the vulnerability of her at that point and because she relies on you for support it makes you feel good because you can "fix" her but when she's fixed and you're feeling that bond she's fixed enough to move on to love.
If you like being a motivator maybe look at learning something new that women might enjoy (dancing, cooking etc). If you're a bit more skilled at it you're able to still get that same feeling of helping and supporting them but without the emotional vulnerability. Flirting is one of those things the more you do it the easier it is - if you have a female friend practise with her as honestly being too harsh is the biggest killer

[Wonderer89]

I'm sure there are many, many things you're good at - it's just finding a way to spin them to your advantage to go for women who are a good match at that time instead of having to fix them before making your move

[Asker]

Alright thank you! I need to figure that out.

[Wonderer89]

All the best honey, good on you for recognising things aren't quite right 😊 That's the hardest part

[singlebee]

hi think the time when you know that a girl is only talking to you for emotional support kick her out of your life... simple... or tell he that she shouldn't contact you till she has more to talk about other then just whining and complaining...

For your own piece of mind stay away from girls who only take support from you... And not talk to you otherwise..

AMD are you dating? Start dating and meet girls...

[Asker]

I wish I could have understood that year ago. What does AMD mean? I am always at a point of lifting myself up so I don't have the mentality to meet new people, I need to change that.

[singlebee]

that was a typing mistake... i meant to say "and'

ok see its very simple... any girl who is your friend will talk to you about so many thing.. other than just seeking emotional support... and when you know that she is only talking to you because she needs you emotionally only.. she isn't really your friend..

as soon as you feel like she is just using you for emotional support tell her that you are not her Councillor and that you are not gonna talk to her..

stop helping these girls... be a man and learn how to say NO...

and aslo one thing is really clear that if she is just talkig to you about her problems SHE IS NOT INTERESTED... so better draw and line and move on..
thaat way you are not affected

this is how women usually use men... with or without realizing it

[Asker]

I understand, I have to understand it, it's mentally tearing me apart. So I have to follow that now. It's crazy how love works now of days. It's not even love.

[singlebee]

there is love.. trust me you just have to keep all the bullshit that comes in your way aside (like this girl) and then you will find a girl for sure... a girl who will be upfront with you about her feelings...