I'm not attracted to ugly and average looking guys. I don't care whether or not they like me. I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever date a guy who's less attractive than me. I wouldn't even want to date a guy who's just as attractive as me. I wouldn't want him even if he's rich and has a good personality so I wouldn't care about what they want. People are allowed to be as picky as they want to be and date whoever they want. Attraction is subjective and doesn't work the same way for everyone no matter what their gender is and what they loook like. People shouldn't have to limit themselves to people who have the same traits as them. If they complain and can't find anyone suitable then that's their problem. It's none of our business.
I think memes like these are totally unnecessary.
Why do ugly and average looking people get criticized for desiring a good looking partner?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I have to agree. I get treated so badly because I like guys who yes, may be more attractive than me. But what is wrong with that? Like you said, attraction is subjective. You like who you like. AND you should date and marry who you want to date and marry. I believe there has to be SOME sort of attraction to date someone or else they won't want to kiss you, tell you you look good, put you first above other people (decreasing the likelihood of cheating, etc). This is my biggest pet peeve when I'm dating! But that doesn't mean that other people can't be attracted to people that aren't as attractive as them. EVERYONE IS ATTRACTED TO THEIR OWN KIND. It's what makes us unique! If we all like the same person then we would ALL have to date the same person. I just really don't think it's anyone's business to tell anyone who they should and shouldn't be attracted to/data.
I also forgot to add that attractiveness can come over time too. Sometimes a person is average looking but over time their personality makes them attractive. I just really think that it's no one but you that has the right to say who you should and shouldn't date. Just make sure that you take personality and other factors into consideration because love can't last on looks alone. "Be with someone you will always put first", is my motto.
A guy being less attractive than you doesn't make him ugly... you sound extremely shallow. I mean, yeah, looks are important. You should be attracted to your mate somehow. But who's to say you aren't good looking? You're prioritizing someone looking good over someone with a good personality. There's nothing wrong with wanting a partner to look good but you make it sound like that's your only standard which is not only immature, but unattractive. I'd never want to date a guy who only wanted me because I look good. The relationship wouldn't work.
I think it's a bit more complicated than that. I don't think people in general criticize others for seeking attractive partners. But they DO criticize people who ask for way more than they have to offer and complain about not finding someone or better even claiming that all men/women these days are undateable
8
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I wouldn't go as far as claiming everyone is undateable. Most of us are dateable to someone. I do try to compensate for my shortcomings and not complain about them.
Well, it's rather hypocritical to expect your partner to be a 10 when you yourself is about a 4. I have no problem with people dating whoever makes them happy but you have ass holes who won't even give someone they deem "ugly" the time of day when they themselves need to take a look in a mirror.
Here's the rub for those that filter out potential friends and/or mates, their world is considerably smaller. I have married friends on both sides of this spectrum, and majority that are happy, still married, and prospering, married for love. Majority of my other friends married on status, looks - they're divorced.
My wife asked me years later on our 20th anniversary, "Was I worth 10 cows, after all we've been through?" LOL!!! (I would have paid more, then, and now.)
Everyone is allowed to desire whomever they want. I'm attracted to who I am attracted to. You might have to wait forever to get precisely what you want. I didn't meet precisely who I wanted until I was 32. What I wanted might have seemed hypocritical but I had a right to set my bar high. We have been together for 19 years. Just make sure you make up for it in other areas.
@frozenhorizon Just what I said. I wanted a woman who was good with money , attractive and had never slept around. I had slept around when I was younger so I knew it was hypocritical of me to expect from my partner what I couldn't give her. Never dropped my bar. A few things were unnegotiable if I was to get married and I refused to settle. But , I brought stability and financial security to the table. I was debt free. Home paid for and I had a good job. I treated her better than any other man ever had. 19 years together.
There's nothing wrong with 'aiming high'. Far as people criticizing it is what it is.
You have preferences just like everyone else, people will always find a reason to hate.
The internet is where everyone exercising their right to say what they want to a certain extent. You will always see those kinds of things and they will never go away. You will always encounter this issue. And those people only have so much affect over you as you let them. They can only offend you based off of how much you value their opinions.
Sure you can stand up to them but now you're playing the trolls game, and you will lose every time.
You said it best yourself, you're allowed to be as picky as you want. I'd rather focus on what I want than concern myself over the meme comments of trolls.
I agree that you can have your standards but most people would say that you're being sort of shallow in the way that you look at this. I'm definitely not one of these people that preach nonsense about how looks don't matter either. I wouldn't date someone I'm not attracted to. The thing is, you've literally set a rule that he has to be more attractive than you. Why wouldn't be able to be on the same level as you? You're entitled to that but I just things the way I see it.
7
7 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Every guy I liked is more attractive than me. If he's not more attractive I would end up resenting him and using him. No one deserves that.
Well if you can't date someone that is in your same league without exploiting them, then I'd say you're shallow. You should be able to find guys who are attractive within your same league. You're young and in a position to do this as of right now but once you hit your mid to late twenties, you're going to notice that dynamic switches and you're not going to be able to date up as easily anymore. Mens dating value starts to increase come mid-twenties to late-twenties while women's dating value starts to decline. Then we both get old and lose our looks lol.
You're definitely not alone either. Most young girls are the same way but fail to admit it. I'm not that delusional to say I'm perfect but my physique put me up there in the above average category when I was single. Most of the chicks I'd fuck were merely average. Tinder was my shit when I was single lol.
I can respect the honesty though even though you're anon. My girlfriend told me the same thing when she was single lol. We're pretty much on the same level of attraction. I think most people would agree. I can be shallow in certain ways too. For example, I'm extremely shallow when it comes to a girls body. I would never date a chick who was overweight. Curious though, would you rate yourself average or slightly below?
Thanks. I'm always honest whether people will like me or not. I'd say I'm probably a 6.5 at most. I don't know. My face and people's comments about it confuses me.
People are pretty inaccurate about ratings on here. Most all of the average girls get rated 8/10s and get treated as if they are goddesses on here because the guys here have no standards lmao. I want to follow you though. I like following honest girls on the website because there's so few of them. Who are you pink anon? ahah
Lol tell me about it. Most people here sound so desperate. Guys on here think every girl is attractive. There are girls on here who say "looks don't matter at all" and they give any guy a chance and will like him for his personality. I can't tell if they're lying or if personality is the only thing they're attracted too. I don't know what is up with these people on here. My username is Ihavelists.
Sent a follow. Worlds blurriest pic lmao. Was kind of curious to see what you look like too. And yeah, I've been on this website long enough to know that most people are full of shit lol.
I think it's for a couple reasons. One, they have deployment goggles lmao. Not literally but deployment goggles was a term that we used in the Marine Corps and its referred to guys who were coming back from deployment. They would see all women as attractive because they haven't seen a female in so long. It's the equivalent but in this scenario, but instead of deployment, we can refer to basements. Basement goggles.
Two.. I think a lot of the people on here are unattractive and they see other unattractive people as attainable. So attractive people are ugly on this website and unattractive people are hot. It's the twilight zone.
That and I think girls/guys are lying so that they don't seem shallow. I rate honestly too so you're welcome to follow.
Well, women tend to have more hypergamous tendencies. I guess the main thing to take into account is that it is unrealistic. Guys who are more attractive than you would only be settling for you and would most likely not respect because of it. "I can treat her like shit, if she leaves me, I can get someone better, she can't."
You are entitled to having whatever preferences you desire but that doesn't mean that you will get someone fulfilling them. People who put so much emphasis on attraction in this form usually don't have lasting and happy relationships. They are based on superficiality and not substance.
You're getting criticized because you're expecting some random hot guy to want to date you for no particular reason whatsoever. It's ridiculously hypocritical what you say right now.
"I wouldn't even want to date a guy who's just as attractive as me. I wouldn't want him even if he's rich and has a good personality so I wouldn't care about what they want". This statement legitimatelly hurts my brain. If you get a guy like who you just described, you should be GLAD to get him.
If you want someone with better looks, I can only give you this piece of advice: become attractive yourself.
2
3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Preferences are not hypocritical. Is a short guy hypocritical if he only wants to date girls taller than him? I never said I expect a random hot guy to like me for no reason at all. Some people find me attractive and others don't. I've seen attractive people date average people. Attraction is subjective.
Why the fuck does that statement hurt your brain? If there's a rich girl who's just as attractive as you and she has a great personality, are you supposed to be glad to get her even if you're not attracted to her? These double standards hurt my brain as well. im getting criticized for giving men the same taste of their own medicine.
@Asker Well, attraction isn't really that subjective, is it? If I showed 1000 guys two photos, one of Danielle Knudson, and one of Kathryn Joosten, how many guys do you think would pick the first one?
You can prefer whatever you want, the guy himself works hard to stay attractive. Why wouldn't you do the same?
We don't criticize you for wanting good looking partners. We criticize you for crying that none of the hot guys are into you.
I mean if you won't even date in your same league, what makes you think people above your league would want to date someone in your league?
I mean if you only desire hot guys and are willing to accept none of them are into you and decide to stay single, I have no problem with. If you are going to constantly approach hot guys and cry about getting rejected, I have no sympathy for you.
And you say attraction is subjective but only to a certain extent. We are biologically wired to be attracted to people who have traits that indicate they are going to have healthy offspring, so there are universal traits of attractiveness (facial symmetry, clear skin, and so on). Everyone does have their type, but if you don't have those basic features down, you aren't going to attract anyone.
You get criticized if you bitch about being single, or about the opposite sex being shallow for not dating you, or when you won't admit it's your unrealistic standards that are getting in the way while you complain there are no "good" men/women left.
If you just have your high standards and don't bother anyone with your singledom you won't get criticized.
Nobody minds ugly people wanting handsome people. We just want them to STFU about being lonely, or "not having anyone, or "nobody asks me out... except guys that aren't good-looking enough to meet my standards"
STFU and no one will know or care.
4
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
People criticize that because they don't know that attraction is not really rational and follow a specific rule such as dating within your "league". I'm a charity model who's dating a woman that has a few pound extra and we've gotten a lot of shit because of that. Obviously she's not allowed to be attracted to very fit guys and I can't like women that don't look like a Victoria secrets model. But we dig each other.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Because you're a hypocrite. You're an average girl and you bag on average guys. You can't demand a 9 or a 10 guy because he's more valuable then you. Stick within your lane and be realistic or set yourself up for disappointed because no guy who's way better looking than you is gonna settle for you when there's an 8, 9 or 10 girl he can get.
I agree I won't date anyone that I think is ugly but I won't criticize them for it. I know how it feels and I try not to treat people like that, key work Try.
Problem is most women have only a nodding relationship with reality like that last one shows. I've seen tons of women swanning around like they're catwalk models and they're fuckin munters.
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