Women dress for themselves, not to look good for others. True Or False?

Question

Whenever the discussion of men staring at women who dress provocatively come up eventually someone will ask "Why Do Women Wear Sexy Clothes If They Don’t Want Attention?"

Many times women respond with "I don't want attention, I dress myself this way because I wanna look good for myself not for the attention of men.

Now to what extent is this true?

The reason I ask is because it just kinda seems like a false dichotomy. Where you either Dress for yourself or dress for others. I don't understand why there can't be a such thing as a nuanced reason and the reason doesn't have to be black and white.

I mean as humans we like approval, we like being seen as attractive, we like people appreciating our look whether your male or female. I mean can't you both dress for yourself but at the same time wanna be seen as attractive by others? I mean it's a human instinct, it's natural to wanna look good for others.

cipher42 · Accepted Answer

I think you're very right to say it's nuanced, because I think people dress both for themselves and for everybody else. More specifically, I think for a lot of people how they dress is about establishing their social identity. Basically, people dress for themselves in the sense that what they wear does not necessarily conform to what they think others want them to wear. However, a person's clothing preferences are obviously influenced by society, and often about how they want to be perceived by others. So putting effort into your clothing doesn't have to be about looking attractive or wanting attention really, but more about trying to be perceived the way you want to be perceived, however that might be.

Basically, my aesthetic is my own, and I don't necessarily wear revealing clothing (or whatever kind of clothing) to be attractive to other people as such, but at the same time my aesthetic is very much influenced by what I see other people wearing, and the clothing I wear is meant to affect what people think of me (and thus is to do with how I perceive myself).

Glittergirl4 · Accepted Answer

It's always for other people. Nobody dresses up at home because they are around just a few people that they are comfortable with. For me, I always dressed up for my boyfriend (broke up with me a month ago :( ) and if I was going to a family function, otherwise I would just wear t-shirt and jeans. So I don't dress for people that I don't know, I don't have any reason to want to impress them with what I'm wearing. But when I do dress up it's for other people. I thoroughly enjoyed dressing up for my boyfriend, family was ok but he was the one I really enjoyed looking nice for. I don't dress up now though since I have no one that I want the attention of. So basically I dress for people that are important to me, not for the general public. I would say most girls do dress for the general public though.

lumos · Accepted Answer

Yeah, there’s no ”real” answer to this because it entirely depends on the person and situation. Most of the time I dress for myself because I enjoy it. Like I’m not gonna put on something uncomfortable just to impress someone else, which is why I only sporadically (for instance) wear heels. It’s also why I never wear tight dresses or show lots of cleavage - it just feels uncomfortable. But it’s also not totally unheard of that I’d hope a guy I like would notice my new cute top or something, like that. I think most people fall in this gray area, where they mostly dress in what they think is good, but will sometimes put a tiny bit of extra effort to possibly impress other people.

PrettyPeach · Accepted Answer

Depends on the occasion... Me specifically it depends, if I am going on a date, I am dressing up for both of us something that I know he will like and that i like. If I am going to party, I dress definitely for MYSELF i want to look good and be comfortable enough to party all night. If I am going to work, it's for MYSELF, because i want to be comfortable (FYI, I rarely wear heels to work). But If I am going to a family reunion i dress for my family because I feel it would disrespectful for them if i was in a tank top with a short skirt... so in my opinion it varies.

Pugall · Accepted Answer

Sorry for asking question instead giving opinion. I'm from a culture where most of family members&relatives don't wear provicatively and when the dress slip (can see strap or etc) they will adjust.. Therefore i don't about how women feel in provicative dresses. I'm also single (19y/o) so no chance at all.. I'm confused that how wearing provocative dresses where people especially men can see your body (mainly private parts) can make you feel good, comfortable or any other reasons women give. i need explaination. thanks

LaikaFreefall · Accepted Answer

To what extent is it true that women dont dress sexy for men? like 100% true, 100% of the time... unless they're looking to hook up, which I'd say is exceptionally rare in comparison to the rest of their life, if they ever do that at all.

Assuming a girl is open to your advances simply based on what she's wearing is fucking asinine. lol.

YoungManTryin · Answer

I think people dress for others in the way that they want to dress for others when they say that they dress for themselves. (unless maybe you wear 12 layers and it's super ugly to everyone, then I guess that's dressing for you) When people dress up at all, it's to present themselves as the best version of themselves. You don't need to present yourself to yourself because you are yourself. However, you can decide how to present yourself to others in whatever way you want to do that, not just in the way that others would want.

teaforbooks · Answer

When I dress, I do care about what other people might think, but when shopping for clothes, I go for what feels comfortable, and makes me feel confident

I have a bad habit of caring about what people thinks, so there’s that.
But since you’re talking about sexy looks or attires, yes it’s to get attention, not cat calls, but just that attention so that it actually feels that they indeed looks sexy.

If guys didn’t get turned on by sexy clothes, I don’t think lingeries or etc would have been known as “something sexy.”

Anonymous · Answer

I think women who put in too much effort into their appearance are insecure , and usually insecurities about how we look means we are worried about what others think about our looks and all.
In general though , no , I wouldn't say women dress for others. But sometimes they do , if a woman is into a guy for example and she tries to look sexy to attract him she will technically be dressing for someone else.
But sometimes us women dress good for ourselves knowing that what we wore looks good , everyone else will see that it looks good , and we already knew that before putting it on , but it doesn't make the reason that we did it for others to see. We just knew it looks good and put it on.

Seltyy · Answer

it's a tought question. most of people dress themselves regarding society's opinion on them. are they evolving in a more traditional, more intelectual or artisitic world? what kind of job do they do? from what kind of background are they from? are they currently single and trying to find a partner or just busy or unavailable? I'm not sure if it's more of a woman thing to try to answer those questions with clothes.
I would rather say, when i put nice clothes i feel confident, and when i put nice lingerie, I decided that tonight was gonna be hot.

CarpetDenim · Answer

Women dress up for other people 99.9% of the time. Even the excuse "I dress like this because it makes me feel good about myself," well, why do you think it makes them feel good about themselves? Because they get the approval and attention of other people.

Mimi1721 · Answer

I personally dress for myself although I can't speak for other women, I dress very modestly, I show no cleavage. I don't keep up with fashion, I'm very whatever fits and whatever I think looks good I'll wear. I don't have the money to be stylish. Maybe one day I can dress how I want but I'll still be doing it for me.

bente2 · Answer

Both are true. Women dress for themselves and for others. If I put on some sexy ass lingerie because my SO is coming over I’m trying to be sexy for them. However, there are days when I wear some sexy ass lingerie because I want to look hot for me and I fricking like lingerie.

The issue is that some men, by saying this, imply women only exist for men. That they dress for men only. And that’s just not true and really egocentric.

linds34 · Answer

You're right that it is both, but I think more women dress to impress other women than to impress guys. Guys will notice if your outfit is revealing but other women are more likely to notice other stuff about your style.

Heythere2013 · Answer

Yes I dress for myself, but also to be attractive to the opposite sex. I enjoy dressing up for myself and my boyfriend, I take his opinions into consideration, like if he isn't crazy about my jacket. I wear minimal makeup, but when I buy it and apply it, I do that for myself.

Lavinnykins · Answer

It's definitely a split thing; some dress for themselves, some dress to impress others and others dress for both. Those happy with themselves and their lives, dress for themself. Those who dress for others, want to get attention and be liked. Those who dress for both, are comfortable in themelves but just want to look and feel good.

Hurlyburly · Answer

I'd say it depends on the situation. If I'm out alone I dress most likely for myself (and that's mostly just casual), if I'm out with my partner I may put a dress and juweliers on because I know he likes it. When I go to an event with some kind of a dress code (wedding, theater...) I do dress up to met the "requirements" and that's it...

Anonymous · Answer

I dress for myself and for other women...
Do u really think any woman would want an unwanted attention from various males... who will cat call her... thats, literally, what stops me to wear dress for myself... i really like clothes that fit me well, heels and dtesses... but when i am alone in clothes like that i get cat called and i feel so creep about that, usually its ugly guys, who cat call, stare and so on...
So i dress something oversized and neakers with jeans... To not get this kind of attention from ugly males...
When i go out on the date with my boyfriend i dress for myself, when i like myself, i know he would like me too

Cosytoasty · Answer

I’m sorry but if you legit dress to look at yourself in the mirror (i. e for yourself) you are a flat out narcissist.

BUT, It goes for men too, you wear what you want because you want to give off an image to others. You don’t show up to work in your underwear becuse you don’t want people to think you’re insane.

kittycat119 · Answer

False absolutely false. And any women saying this isn't false is a liar. Women are shallow we dress to look good because we either wanna make men think we're sexy or show off to women. We want others to think we look good and want validation

nickyBBB · Answer

False. Definitely a bit false.

Not only a lot of "sexy" clothes are super uncomfortable usually and no one would actually enjoy wearing them, women just seek attention.
I mean everybody does, but women show it more.

sc15022 · Answer

I'd say mostly false, because most girls would just bum it when they're at home or hanging out with someone they're comfortable with.

If its an important event or they're trying to pick someone up, then they pull out all the stops to try and get the best man the can, which is good.

Nora_Sutherlin · Answer

"I don't want attention, I dress myself this way because I wanna look good for myself not for the attention of men"
This while sentence is utter bullshit. Its human nature, we do things be it dress up or anything else for approval of others, as humans are social animals.

Gordo1970 · Answer

They can't make their minds up. They wear tops so tight their nipple poke through, and skirts so short they cover less than my belt then say "What are you staring at?"
I mean seriously if you don't want people to look in the shop don't dress the window

Anonymous · Answer

If people dressed up & did their hair & put on full makeup "just for themselves", they would:
A) Be able to go out sometimes WITHOUT doing this & not feeling less confident
B) Walk around their house alone doing this too.

But they don't. So no, they dress to impress. It's only true to the extent that they feel good because they won't feel judged or insecure. But that's because of the influence of others' opinions on how they look.

Goodwifie · Answer

When going on a date with my husband I'll dress for him.
When going out to dinner with my friends I'll also dress for my husband so he'll anticipate me coming back home.
Otherwise I dress for myself.

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