Why do girls always ask about what kinda job you have and how much you make?

[Anonymous]

Its weird a couple years ago this never used to happen. But ever since that show Joe Millionaire came out it seems women are to into money. Whenever I go out I'm asked what my job is within the first couple of minutes. And before the end of the night I have to hear does it pay good. Once I tell them its over 100 thousand a year the girls get all happy. What ever happened to the times when women were into the guy for who he was not how much he makes. So now me and my friends will lie to the girls and tell them we only make 20 thousand a year. The girls won't call us after the first date once we tell them this. It show there true colors. They only care about the money. Why do women do this and don't they realize its a turn off to guys?

Updates

+1 y

I would recommend to all guys. Tell the girls you make less then you really do. It will show you who is into the money and who isn't. Tell them your broke and if they still want you then you know its real.

[redheadbabygirl]

Not all girls are after the money. I don't need his money--I am in PA school studying to be a surgical PA and will be making at least $150,000 a year once I get out. This is more than some guys make, and I don't flaunt it because I see it as virtually irrelevant in a relationship (with the exception of a scenario where I was in a VERY serious relationship or engaged to the guy--then he'd need to know ) but other than that, I don't see the need to bring it up, and you don't need to feel pressured to either, even if someone asks.

Personally, I think it's very rude and demonstrates a lack of respect as well as ignorance on the girl's part to ask a guy what his yearly income is. If a girl does this, she's probably got her priorities all wrong and isn't good dating material. Drop her/them like a red hot coal and move on! There are much better women to be had out there.

To me, it's more the concept of an independent man who's really got his life together--and these men are generally (not always) the ones who have the biggest bank accounts. The numbers are just that--numbers. I can usually tell after spending only a very short time with a guy whether or not he's my type. If he is well-off, it's an added bonus, but certainly not at the top of my list of priorities.

I find pie-in-the-sky men who are waiting around for money to fall into their laps very unattractive and definitely not dating material. This is a sign of immaturity, and sadly, since it doesn't usually go away as the guy gets older, it's actually more of a character flaw. Mamma's boys who plan to live at home until they are at least 30 are the other big no-no in my book. I expect the guy to date to have the potential to be the head of his own household--and again, these two types of men tend to be the ones who don't make a lot of money. They are losers; not because they are not rich, but because they don't work hard and make the most of what they've got.

But if I met a good man who was independent, frugal, and in control of his life and yet didn't make a whole lot of money, I wouldn't be turned away by that. In fact, as long as he's smart and isn't lazy and we have enough common interests that we can carry on a good conversation, I could care less about how much he makes.

Good luck! If I didn't answer your question completely, or if you have other questions, please comment! Thanks.

~Katie~

[Asker]

Great answer. that's how it should be. and you know what you will find real love and romance because your genuine in your approach. Cause no amount of money can buy true love. I wish there were more Katies out there. thanx

[redheadbabygirl]

Thanks : ) I hope it was helpful.

[Anonymous]

once upon a time, a man didn't even court a woman if he didn't think he could provide for her. unfortunately in this era there are so many scandels and scams that a woman has to make sure she will be taken care of, not swindeled for everything she has worked to have. I'm only 22, and I might date a guy that made only 20 thousand a year, but I would not marry him unless he found a better paying job, you can't even buy a house with that and apartment living is definately not my lifelong dream.

to ask how much you make on a first or even second date is a bit tacky, but asking what you do for a living is not. what you do is part of who you are and asking is a way of getting to know you. say you are 35 and work as a sonic car hop or a pizza delivery guy, I would guess that you were not ambitious at all and probably didn't even graduate high school, where as if you were a technical engineneer, that would show some gumption and education.

just keep in mind that not all women are gold diggers, some just want to be taken care of or just simply not mooched off of.

[Asker]

I only tell them that I make that much to see if there in it for love or in it for money. how can you have a romantic relationship if its based on your income. think of it this way imagine aguy is realy impressed with your house. and all he wants to do is hang out there. whenever you go somewear else he won't talk. you start to think the guy is into your house more then he's into you.

[Opinion Owner]

Not long ago I would've asked the same question, but after having a long discussion with some of the older (age 50+) men and women I work with, they made me see things in a new light. financial insecurities can lead to all kinds of stresses and strains on a relationship and sometimes even cause them to end. on another note, if you're in it for love then why would you want to start it all off on a lie? instead of telling your actual salary, why not just tell them that you make enough to get by.

[Asker]

Im trying to see if there in it for love or just in it for the money. so if there in it for romance and us being happy togeather she won't care about the money. but if she's not she won't call again which has already happend. girls don't advertise that they are in it for money so I'm trying to find out up front. once I know she wants love not money think of how much happier of a relationship we will have.

[Opinion Owner]

I still think you shouldn't lie, just be more obscure. if she keeps persisting, say you are not comfortable revealing that information at the time and change the subject.

[ALWAYSclassy]

I don't think it's bad for a girl to ask what you do, but asking a man how much he makes is just tacky! If she's asking you does it pay good then that's a dead giveaway that her main thing is having a guy with money.

I want to know what a guy does and what his education level is so I can see where he's at in life. But then again, I'm 20. If I was 30-35 I wouldn't date a man who only made $20k a year either because that says a lot about him. There are people my age who make more than that, so there really isn't an excuse for a 35 yo man making that low pay. That tells me that he probably has no ambition and wasted away his life. I would be thinking to myself, "What the hell is wrong with him?" and I wouldn't want to date him either.

But like I said, you can tell that kind of stuff about a guy without directly asking how much he makes. If a girl even asks that if she barely knows you then she's a golddigger. She should ask you what you do and where you went to school.

[Asker]

I don't know any guys though who care how much a woman makes. if the girl is kind hearted and sweet that's what should matter. her job has no bearing on my affection for her. I would rather be with a nice girl making 5 thousand a year then a stuck up rich girl. you can't find real love by looking for it this way. its gotta be about how you feel for each other.

[ALWAYSclassy]

Not realistic. If you are going to be in a relationship with someone, especially a serious one, it matters if he's making like minimum wage and comfortable with that. Is he going to do any better? Is that as far as he'll go in life?

Men might not care but a woman's who's smart does! Money isn't everything, but I'm not gonna lie and act like it doesn't matter. He doesn't have to be rich but he shouldn't be lazy and comfortable with being broke. That carries over into other areas in life too.

[ih82w8]

When asked how much I make, I generally say something like "Enough to pay my bills." or "Not as much as I should be." The thing is that people think that they are entitled to know everything and anything about everyone else but when it comes to their own privacy., well I better stop there before I go on a 5 page tirade about hypocrisy. But I digress so anyway back to the question, the trick is figure out why they want to know. Are they just making conversation, are they checking to make sure that you can support yourself or are they trying to find someone to support them?

[Brazilian-Girl]

Dont take it too seriously. As everyone said I don't think its nice too ask directly how much a person makes.but A girl wants to know cause its a point that shows how much of security her guy will provide her. bu its not just about money its about values too.

cause it doenst mean anything if the guy have a good position and money if the guy don't take you and your feelings into account.

i care about how much ambitous my man is.and that's really important to me.

but I'm not focus just on that.other thing don't tell girls you make less than you do.

if you are ambitous say you are like that.but try to notice if the girl wants more than this.

[ladygothicka]

We just want to know how much you make because at heart we all want to be financially secure and we like guys that have money. It makes us feel secure. Unfortunately for most people I know, I'm not money-orientated. It's all about the romance. I work hard anyway so money doesn't matter much to me.

[Asker]

Your not which is good. just keep an eye on your fellow females. keep an open mind but just listen to what they say about this. you'll see that with a lot of them its money first and romance second

[lollipopgirl23]

i usually ask if a guy has a job because I work and I don't want to be with a man who doesn't work. it doesn't really matter what you do but I will probably ask just for conversation wise. a girl might ask how much cause she might make a lot of money and wants to be sure that your in the same category that she's in. or she might just be a gold digger. you have to get to know her more to decide that.

[Anonymous]

It probably the girl just making conversation ~ you don't know someone when you go on a date so normal questions are tell me about you, what do you like, what do you do (job) and then questions follow on from that including does it pay well.

The other thing is with our age our jobs might have progressed somewhat incl women if not had children and some one like myself would want an equal, so I'd want to know the bloke I was going to date has money in his pocket, just like I have money in mine.

[ilovehim21]

whatever.not all girls are into money first off.And second if it bothers you that girls ask about ur job why do you tell them? you don't have to you know.Unless you want that attention? I don't know but not all women are into money though

[Asker]

Its the wrong kind of attention. that's why I tell them 20 thousand now. but I have not gotten a single second date from the girls I have told I make 20 thousand a year to. almost all the girls that I gave the true amount called back. I don't think all girls are like this. but all the ones I have met won't call back if they think I'm broke.

[ilovehim21]

Oh well,money has nothing to do with finding the right girl for you.When you do find her,if she really loves you it won't matter how much dough you're making.lol ;)

[Asker]

Well if that's true then I have hope. :)

[ilovehim21]

Well of course its true you just gotta find the right person...but you can't look for love it finds u..take this for an example.You know how when you lose something and you look everywhere for it? and then when you give up and stopping looking for it you find it? well that's how I feel about love you can't look for it.I used to try and find love but then I gave up on it and I met my boyfriend the greatest guy in the world! :)

[Asker]

Thats true. but you know what's weird I don't even know what women like about men. lol I don't know what makes a woman fall in love with a guy. and realy love him. I can see the result. like if a girl smells aguys varsity jacket or stairs into his eyes. I assume its love. but I don't realy know what women even like about men. I wish I did. but I just talk about regular events hoping a girl will fall in love with me. what makes agirl love aguy? what is it about us that makes you love us?

[ladygothicka]

Lol bit drastic but there we go. :-)

[Anonymous]

I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger.