I don't understand why society think that a woman to be complete need a family. Personally I don't want to have a family, I don't want an husband and children, I prefer to realize myself as a person, I want to find a good job, be indipendent and do what I want alone. People say to me that I am saying this just because I am still young and that one day I will have a family, but why for society a non married woman is a problem? I don't like children, so why should I have them?
I am happy as I am not and I don't think I will change my mind and I am as complete as a woman with a family.
What is your opinion on this matter? Do you thing that a woman to be complete need a family? Why?
Why is a person who doesn't want a family, but prefers to be alone, criticized?
I don't agree that "society" (whatever that is) universally judges it that way. A woman can decide to have a family or not have one. Its up to her. Better to not have a family if you are not ready to - or don't want to. There are too many unwanted children in the world already. We don't need to have more. And she should not run her life based on what she thinks "society" wants her to do. There are some cultures and religions around the world that have certain expectations of women. There are many diverse cultures and beliefs. But my advice is for you to stop worrying what "society" thinks. What the hell is "society" anyway? What you read in stupid fluffy articles or slanted propaganda? Stop worrying about it. Be yourself.
Those people that think you need to have children to be a whole person. What would they do if they were unable to have children themselves? The way the world is becoming. I am glad that I am not a child today. My only regret of not having children myself is that I have no one to inherit my things. So many children are misbehaved and show no respect, that I don’t care to be around them. Your body, your choice! Better not to have than to have children and not want them.
You can do whatever you like... but don't complain to men later. And that's what most women do.
In your 20s, you can easily get attention from men, because your social market value is very high. That's the time when you have the most power and influence to set up the rest of your life with a man (if you want a man). But around 30, your fertility starts to drop, and your social market value drops, and most of your friends are married and you don't have the same kind of fun single life with your friends that you used to have. And it starts to dawn on you that living alone is getting harder, and looking forward to 35 more years of going to work every day is already making you tired. And so, many women decide in their 30s that they changed their mind and they want a man and children. Well, by that time, it's largely too late. You can no longer attract the men you could attract in your 20s - the men you want and feel entitled to - because your social market value has dropped while theirs has increased, and the competition for those men is fierce. Then women get mad at men for not wanting them.
The other thing to keep in mind is that without children to take care of you in old age, you have to have the money to PAY people to take care of you. Instead of living with your children if you are 68 and have cancer or kidney failure or the beginnings of dementia, you have to be able to afford assisted living or home care - which in 2021 means you'd need to have around $100,000/year. If you want to retire at 65, and you can expect to live to 85, that means you need to have saved in excess of $2M - and that's 2021 money. By the time you retire, that number might be closer to $5M or more. Most people didn't make nearly that kind of money, but most people had children who could take care of them, so they survived, with relatively few ending up in horrible state-run nursing homes. In 20 years, the number of people (mostly women) in those state-run nursing homes is going to explode.
With so few children being born, there's going to be a huge shortfall of money for Social Security, and it's going to collapse, as will Medicare. These programs are funded by taxing the young, working people, and we're going to have far less people working because we're having far fewer children - WAY under replacement numbers - than ever before, and these programs only work when the young population is GROWING. So don't expect to count on the government - the government is going to be broke, and the numbers of people who need those services will be bigger than ever before, and if you can't provide for yourself, you'll be out of luck.
It's because those people have seen other women who went down the path you're talking about going and they see where it leads. You're only 22 right now and it's important for you to focus on personal development for now, but I've known many women who decided to focus on career instead of having a family or whatever else, and every single one of those women have been profoundly lonely people. Especially those I met while working at the nursing home. Every. Single. One. Every single one of those women were trying to come to terms with the idea of dying alone because every single one of them believed they had more time, until one day they woke up and realized they had run out of time.
So all those people you feel are shaming you are actually trying to wave a flag to you and explain that the important things in life are experiences and relationships, not money. Men don't have a choice, we have to worry about money, we were never told anything different and we expect it and find fulfillment from it. Women DO have a choice.
Women are an extremely privileged class that recieve a lot of extra perks in our society. The reason for that is they have in the past created the next generation of men and women. The number of women that do not have kids now is statistically significant enough to be a burden on the entire western civilization. Large systems like nations are slow to adapt to socially engineered populations without a direct dictatorship. No woman should be forced to have children, of course, but neither should she be entitled to the privileged position normally granted to women. What's really sad is how many women do not even realize how good they have it. They are not forced to do manual labor like men, are not discriminated against, have very little to worry about financially because help is always offered readily, especially when they are young and fertile. Eventually things will balance out again and women will more than likely have a choice between a lower standard of living or a higher standard of living as part of a family. Many women will decry this as fair but it is simply cheaper to live as a family unit, especially multi generational. Our ancestors did this since time began to increase their wealth and chances for survival. Women who choose to be single for life are extremely disgenic and its probably best they do not breed. Their lifestyle is only possible because of the hundreds of generation of men and women who's hardwork made our modern industrial society possible.
I think its completely and utterly up to you , do as you please , dont feel that you have to succumb to any particular stereotype that society may present , and if you view did change thats fine too , remains same? absolutely fine. Its your life , they are you goals , never feel that you HAVE to do anything , no matter your age. Its a prehistoric scenario ( that my mother used to say ) " If you are not a parent , you are selfish " , Hmm well , what about over population? I think my mother got that view from her rather glamorous sister , who remained childless and died at 83 ( when that was unusual ) and my mother had 5 children , but that was her choice , I always argued same. I have two grown daughters 29 and 32 years , neither have children , yet both are straight , and thats great , its their life , their decision , if they are happy , Im happy. I think its massively positive , and I think its your choice and your life :) Enjoy.
its your life I can't tell you what to do but its good to have family a husband life feels different yes its hard very hard for our moms to keep us alive but that makes you ALIVE I mean you feel different you see for example your kid graduating finding a job you being happy too its not like you can't have these too being married lately is an option too but its difficult anyway a friend of mom is 45 year old she has a 5 year old kid so she was like you saying these things but then she decided to have family and I think seeing her makes her happy since her kid and husband here
thats what I think and see I don't want people to do something because of society but in general its a good option because you see the other side of life because once you retire you feel useless you know its difficult
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
It's true that you are young and your body clock has not kicked in yet. But assuming you then still don't want kids and a husband later: good for you - live the solitary life, make lots of tax, have lots of holidays. You have that choice. Society expects women to produce babies because most women love babies, and we need a new generation of taxable worker. And men are to be disposable cash cows that will support their woman because men live women and like to be useful. Any variation from this is frowned upon. Society has rules.
Because the reasons for not wanting a family are sometimes strange and prejudiced. Some people don’t want children because they think children are annoying. Well that is not true. With a decent upbringing and discipline children will be a wonderful gift. Also a lot of people won’t understand why you rather work, get up early everyday and answer emails all day instead of taking care of a baby that you made and which is something only from you.
People will always try to find reasons to criticize other people for lifestyle choices, even if that choice doesn’t affect their own wellbeing. Personally I don’t want to have a family because it could limit my scope for my future and also because of ethical concerns.
Who cares what society says fuck em! Exceptttt… societies older than you and probably knows better. You can have kids now but in 10-20 years maybe not. What will you feel when your time comes and you regret never having kids or a relationship? Now it’s too late and you can never fix it.
Also are you going to work into your 60s like most men? Is that what you want? If so go for it I def won’t stop you. I do however wish I could be there to laugh when you find out what you thought you want wasn’t what you wanted but it’s too late to fix it. There’s going to be a lot of women dying alone these days and as spiteful as it sound I’m going to enjoy watching these women suffer alone because they refuse to listen.
If your not going to be one of these women then their attacks not aimed at you. But I’m 20 years it might be and understand. I will laugh at your loneliness and suffering and I will say I told you so because well… called it.
This answer made me understand how a shifty person you are and being older than me, maybe you would die before me, so I would be the one who laugh in the end
Women tend to change over time. They see their friends settle down and have kids. They realize the selection of men at age 22 will be much greater than at 30 or 40. When you are in 65+, there will be 3 unmarried women for every unmarried man. Men die off sooner, marry younger women, etc. It is a one time decision. You don't get a redo at age 40.
a lot of people dont want to change their thinking and they prefer the society to work as it was in ancient times that women can't live alone or take care of themselves or need to marry a guys and have kids to be called settled in life. Its your personal choice and you should live the way that makes you comfortable coz people will always comment no matter what you do in life 🙂
12.2K opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
Because they are usually a neurotic, psychotic, mooch, shithead, drama queen or all five.
Not saying everyone deserves a family, or some people shouldn't be allowed to die alone, trapped in a car fire. But usually a person claiming to not want to continue their family - is the fucker looking for the biggest chunk of inheritance and sympathy. While giving the least.
I think there saying that because what you want is so perfect unorthodox cause no one wants to be alone in the world but your old enough to know what you want and I'd that it then go for it but that a lonely existence
No I don't think you understand. I come from a close knit family so to me family is everything we're very supportive of each other and we're there for each other no matter what is hard to replace family
That second picture to the right? Naw. Being a lazy slob eating pizza and drinking Franzia on a Tuesday night is very unlikely to be "an established and complete woman," children or not. Unless MAYBE she's a multi-millionaire living her dream and has the best friends in the world, but that isn't implied here.
You're not saying it because you're young. I'm more than double your age and I'm unmarried without children. I've been married, but not anymore. There are a few ladies who are interested in me but I haven't yet decided if I want to stop living alone or not. Most people will be either married or living with someone while a few will live alone. You may just be one of the few and there's nothing wrong with that.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Because society views that keeping the population growing is a positive and okay historically that did have some truth but now people don't generally die in their 30's and industrial accidents are a rarity, overpopulation has set in to an unprecedented level
The same exists for guys in the same scenario it's just old ways compared to the modern day reality
And there is nothing wrong with that. People are very different from each other. If they don't want to marry and live together with a partner it's their choice. No one should judge.
All in all I can only say is you be you and have as big a family as you want. If you do not want childern you be you no other persons opinion should not matter. Childern no children is apersonal choice and no one should stick their two cents in as to what you want.
I have no fucking clue but I am in the same boat. Like people just fucking tell me that I am either a fucking bad person or I am nothing but but a selfish being. Like it's supposed to be my decision, not theirs so excuse me for being “selfish” if it's my life and supposed to be my decision of what I want to do with my life. Like what the fuck?
Uh, because they're not going to have anyone to care for them when they get old. And that means they're going to get stuck in some horrible residential care facility, receive substandard medical care, treated badly/abused, suffer, and die alone.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Because it’s not sustainable, because it’s dumb and not thinking about the future. It’s immature. It’s for losers who believe that thinking that they are “complete” matters at all to anyone or the universe or even that it will last. There a metric for quality human that exists outside the person and easing kid sis the greatest thing most people will amount to. And after all that, funnily enough, “completeness” comes from having kids anyway. So again, when someone says they have no interest it just seems like they’re being dumb.
I'm also free to drink myself to death, or be grossly fat. Being free to do something doesn't make that thing valuable or even non-destructive. The freer a society is the more it relies on cultural measures to function. The more free we are to do things, the greater need there is for shame and cultural norms.
If there was a law against what you're doing then there wouldn't be a need for shaming, but if it's legal and anyone can do it then shaming keeps the majority from doing something that would be unsustainable if everyone did it. So if you're the minority who truly feel they need to act in that undesirable way then you will do so in spite of criticism -- so get over it -- or if you at any point change your mind and don't want to go through with that anymore then you were never meant to be acting that way and the criticism is deserved -- so get over it. Either way, there's no valid complaint from you here. Either you can be normal, or you can suck it up and be weird.
So not wanting children is not normal? We live in an overpopulated wolrd so I don't think that If I won't have children the things will drastically change
So let’s say 20% of your generation chooses not to have kids. When your old and the government is paying for your care do you think it won’t affect you? Because you don’t like working would you not work? Children are for leaving something being off ourselves but their also an insurance policy. We raise them so when we’re old hopefully we raise them right so we aren’t left in the streets to die alone. Everyone has responsibilities and anyone that shirks responsibility will pay the price. You will eventually be 60, tired, forced to work to pay for your meds with nobody that cares about you forced feeding them to you when your stuck in your dementia.
Most women that have ever existed have had children. So no, not wanting children is obviously not normal.
Even if overpopulation was true, that doesn’t mean that not having kids is healthy. Besides, you’ve already made it apparent that it’s not a reason informing your decision, so let’s not make excuses mkay? If you’re actually dedicated to this path, then accept the criticism and proceed anyway. Just don’t try to pretend that you’re the norm or try to convince others.
it’s just the same bs rhetoric about love and family uve been lied to about since u were a kid 🙄😂 you do what makes you happy, forget what “society” thinks.
Well it's their personal perspective and choice, one can't judge anyone for choosing to not have a family. However the journey of life is always better with a partner.
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