How to attract my former teacher?

[Anonymous]

He was my English teacher my sophomore year of high school. Now I am 25 and I think he's about 35. We've run into each other a few times in the past few months. He's a quiet and shy guy, I know that. I also know we have a few similar interests that we could talk about off the bat. How do I get him to see me as something other than a former student? I've always thought he was attracted to me (I could be wrong though, I just think so) but also because he is so shy I'm not sure he'd ever act on it. Please help! I will probably run into him at an event this weekend.

[Anonymous]

Be more direct with him. Tell him you're interested in him. Ask him about how he views you. If he sees you as a former student, ask him if he could see himself thinking of you more than that. If not then his decisions and preferences should be respected.

[pharaoh_lover48118]

Agree with you

[Diamonddogz74]

You're probably going to have to make the first move. He's in a weird position and can't risk his job or how he appears to be treating his former students. This is a situation where you basically have to take on the guy role for a little bit.

[sssr4u]

I agree

[Asker]

Agreed but any ideas on how? He's pretty shy and awkward generally, and being my former teacher I'm sure he'd be more awkward. I'd hate to come on way too strong for this poor shy guy.

[Diamonddogz74]

Next time you run into him ask him strike up a conversation. Try to not make it about school but feel free to ask him if he's still teaching, still into (name something he used to be into), or whatever. If it feels like he's being receptive ask if he'd like to meet for a a drink or coffee or whatever you feel comfortable with. A drink is good because it will point out to him, subconsciously, that you aren't a kid anymore. It's also good because it tends to level any awkwardness.

[Diamonddogz74]

But even then you're still going to have to be the one who initiates that it's not just a friend thing. You're going to have to make it really clear that his advances are welcome up to and including you initiating the first physical contact.

[Asker]

Right, all of that makes complete sense. He's just so shy! And I'm sure the fact that he taught me is a little weird for him still. The last time I saw him though, I noticed him looking at me all night from across the room. You don't think having a quick conversation and then asking him to go out is too sudden?

[Diamonddogz74]

Nah, it's just coffee or a drink. The point is to communicate interest. Besides, you spent a semester getting to know one-another already. Sort of. Feel out the situation. Let him know that you're really glad to see him again so that he doesn't think you're talking to him just because you think you have to. You should at least exchange numbers so that you can eventually - sooner rather than later - ask him out. The point is to get the ball rolling and to keep it up until he takes over.

[Asker]

Dumb, but I honestly don't know how to ask for his number. He's that awkward! haha

[Diamonddogz74]

Giving him yours is sort of a cop out and might not work in this situation but if all else fails you should. The way I do it is some time when there's a lull or break in the conversation I just say "hey, let me get your number" and act like it's just assumed that she'll give it to me. Don't think of it as a bad thing to ask. If he's interested, he wants you to have it. If he's not, this is another way to find out. It's a no lose proposition.

[waynef21]

You need to make an advance at him, but be prepared he might not want the advance. Some guys no matter what they view what was 10 years ago as a little girl... and he might not be interested at all, keep that in mind.