How do I get a girlfriend in community college?

[hengyr]

So I've decided to stay at CC for another two or three years, mostly to retake courses that I got a crappy grade in, as well as any remaining general ed requirements and start filling up my lower-division prereqs for engineering/science fields.

What's been bothering me is that it seems like a lonely, isolating environment compared to high school. In high school, I was friend-zoned with most of the cheerleaders (study-buddies or Model UN partners, yay!), and I wasn't actively seeking a relationship, now the problem is the opposite: I want to be in a casual relationship but it's not really a social environment.

At the beginning of every semester I get my hopes up, try to talk to a pretty girl in my class, ask her out, and then the usual reply is: "I actually have a boyfriend, but you're really sweet for showing interest", and now on the inside, I'm becoming increasingly depressed and desperate.

Honestly, I'm 20 years old, still a virgin, I've never been on a date or kissed a girl, and even though I'm complimented for being handsome, cute or adorable, I'm very shy, my worst fear is looking back knowing that I could've gotten laid more or had more fulfilling relationships, but it just seems that there's no outlet (short of buying a blow-up doll) for meeting and dating girls then there was in high school, and I just feel broken-down from the isolation.

[DudebroDude]

First of all, Welcome to the Dating world! Unless you look like Ryan Reynolds are as rich as Tony Stark, you'll be playing a relatively difficult, but not insurmountable game.

First of the basics: Hit the gym, Style your clothes and your hair, but most importantly, (especially for someone who's been unfortunately labeled a creep) Interact as much as possible! Talk to strangers, get involved on campus, join a club (if they exist!) You'll be surprised on not just how many people you'll meet but also how your social skills will improve overtime! What's the way most people end up meeting their SO beyond the club/bar scene? through mutual friends of course!

Probably one thing to consider as well: don't fixate on trying to get a girlfriend. Guys like this come off as creepy and insecure. You have a life to live, and you should neither feel like you need or deserve a girlfriend. Focus on self improvement and if its meant to be, a girl will follow after.

[hengyr]

BTW, just to clarify, I've been called weird/creepy because I tend to pace around frequently through the college hallways just to gather my thoughts and it relieves nervousness (think John Nash in A Beautiful Mind), not because of anything that would otherwise be-deserving of being called creepy? And not that I intend to join a frat, isn't it a bit presumptuous to say that I am or not "fratworthy" after just perusing my profile?

[DudebroDude]

I mean no offense when I said any of that sir. While you may not have done anything direct to make someone uncomfortable, to even have that label implies of level of unease and unfamiliarity that can hamper your social and romantic prospects. To deny the presence of that hurdle would be to your detriment.

You also don't come of as someone who would be intune to frat culture based on your writing. Understand that being "Fratty" isn't necessarily a positive trait around every girl.

[moviedude714]

Yeah but how do you do self improvement and expect to get a girlfriend if a guy is not actively looking? after all girls are passive when it comes to attraction

[DudebroDude]

My claim was not to necessarily be passive around women, but rather not too aggressive.



When you're confident and attractive from all yourself improvement, you'll find you won't need to put as much an effort to pull a girl. A lot of unattractive guys have a habit of pushing too hard because they fixate their energy on a girl If you make yourself a catch of sorts, the girl will do a good portion of the work in making the relationship.

[moviedude714]

true, the hardest part is being pro-active and at the same time, not trying too hard, avoid being desperate, but honestly, the fact that guys have to do self-improvement for themselves in order to be attractive to women, kinda goes to show and prove, that girls hold us guys to higher standards than we do for them, eventhough a lot of girls disagree

[DudebroDude]

I wouldn't say that,

My ex spent around 2 hours in preparation for our dates just to look nice. Nevermind all the exercising, clothes shopping and other things girls do just to look decent.

[moviedude714]

well I guess it depends on how you look at it, but I would say for how you have to change your attitude and personality, the way you talk, that takes longer for guys than for girls

[ryanontario]

yeah I went through a lot of the same when I went to community college , there is a lot of girls there but a lot seem to have bf's who don't actually go to college I noticed when I went there . a lot seemed to have bf's with jobs and not in college with them .

anyways back to your problem I think you just need to keep meeting people on campus and getting out there , I'm sure there is still a large number of single girls on any college campus , there must be parties and events too where you could meet people

[Cubsfan92]

You're cute , you should try going after a shy or quiet girl... I'm available JK :) Good luck and keep trying!

[SilentEarth]

My advice is to get involved, be active. Join organizations in your area, learn to dance (there's probably more girls than there are guys), go to a gym, there are so many places out there. Expecting someone to just come to you or meet you in one of your classes is a bad idea. If you're in an engineering field, you're going to have all guys in all of your classes, that's just how it is. You have to reach out of your comfort zone.

[moviedude714]

from my experience most if not all girls are usually taken in Community College(Well at least desirable ones), they get snatched up pretty quick

[hengyr]

So how does that help me otherwise? Should I just settle for being alone for the next two or three years?

[guitar903]

If I were you I'd go back to a regular college and try to join a fraternity. Honestly you'll have such a good experience, even if it's a low-tier fraternity, that your life will be so awesome. DONT COUNT MY ANSWER OUT lol.

[DudebroDude]

As a fellow fratter, I'm not exactly sure the author's personality would ever fit nor would he want slampieces.

[guitar903]

haha maybe not, but he should at least join some kind of club

[Anonymous]

Three years in Community College?

[hengyr]

Partially to make up for crappy grades in the past semesters, and also to complete lower-division engineering coursework.

[jmowen]

Not everyone can finish a certificate in 2 years. Some go part-time for a while, some have things come up, have to take lower level classes to catch up, etc. Plus it's a ton cheaper than taking all the basic courses at a university.

[Anonymous]

be good looking

[SilentEarth]

boooooo!