How do I convince my boyfriend to stay with me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend broke up with me because he's starting a new chapter in his life of trying to join FDNY, and going to school, and work, and just all this other stuff. So he said he doesn't think he can handle a relationship right now because of it. However, he still talks to me daily and we've hung out and it's like nothing changed. He got to the point now where he clearly wants to be with me but is torn between what he wants and what he thinks he has to do. I know I can handle not seeing him that often so him doing all of this stuff and me only seeing him twice a week for a few hours is fine with me, as long as I know he still loves me. So now he's saying, "lets just see where this goes. I need to do a lot of thinking" and he'll let me know if we'll get back together or not in a few days. I personally don't like being in this relationship purgatory kind of situation and I want to be with him, so how can I show him that and that we can make this work? I've already been so supportive and helped him out in every possible way and spoke to him very calmly about it. I don't know what else to do, but I REALLY want to be with him and will fight in any way possible to have him.

[Paris13]

What I can tell you from my personal experience---and hundreds of guys, all shapes and sizes and with this---MOODS---do not, in any way, shape, or form pressure him or make him feel as though he is in this pressure cooker right now in this stage of his life. This is a sure way, believe me, to make him even more "torn" and end up running the other way. If he is still at the point where he does still love you, then leave it at this for the time being. Let him do some serious soul searching and what he has to do in this "new chapter of life" he is trying to start and clearly wants to accomplish. He doesn't need you to hound him or feel hindered, sweetie, so if you love him, then give him his space, give him some time. I realize more than anyone perhaps, that this will be sheer HELL for you NOT wanting to be in this "purgatory place in time" with him, and want things to be everything you want because YOU know what YOU want. But he clearly DOES NOT. He is being totally honest with you, not even blowing you off as some guys tend to do when a situation arises such as the one you are going through right now. It is also clear HE DOES want you in his life. I would highly suggest to continue to be supportive, be his "Rock of Gibraltar," because this is the only thing he needs and---wants from you right now. If you should find this hard to do and find it a "losing battle" in the end, make a decision for what you need and want in your life when "there is no more fight "left inside of you, and your "calm voice," HAS RAISED AN OCTAVE, hear me out. Many guys today, from my experience, are sporadic, unpredictable, and leave sour balls in our mouths, because if starting out in a commitment, and one day he decides "he needs more time for himself or to think," or whatever reason he uses(some guys just get "cold feet", no matter what kind of relationship they are in), it is both frustrating and heartbreaking, to say the least. And along with my years of experience with these "gopher guys," I usually don't stay with them. It isn't that I don't have "any more fight," left it's because too, it's just that--a losing battle. I married a great guy(he lives in Egypt, where we got married and I have lived off and on with him there for 3 years), and to be truthful, short or long distance, there are really guys out there who don't give out mixed signals or----make your life a "living hell".

[Anonymous]

I think you need to give him time, because you just will be annoying for him. sometimes people need their own time for them selves to concentrate. your support is great and appreciated but it's really won't hel him,is he says so.

I was in the same but opposite situation : the guy wanted to be with me all the time and I needed space and concentration on my own. His behavior was obnoxious, selfish, becaue it was what he wanted but , sorry it wasn't what I wanted...we broke up.

if a person doesn't want you , you can't make him want you, simple.

[lovedcursed]

look , trust me , the only successful way to make this work, is to give him his time , he knows you still love and want him, so really give him time , don't tell him '' we can work this and lets get back '' , in fact be kind and sweet but don't say it , and I guarantee to you that in less than a month he will be calling you and telling you that he wants you guys back , been there and this was the only way out

[Anonymous]

Stop asking the same question over and over again link