How come women never approach men and initiate conversation, and don't ask men out, is this a reason why?

Even in the new Millennium, the second Millennium, and now that it is the 21'st Century, it is still mostly up to the man to initiate the pursuit, make the first move, chase and pursue the woman, and ask her out on a date. Women very rarely pursue and chase Men, and ask them out, so rare that it seems like never. Anyway, I was wondering if I have a valid point here as to why it is still up to the man to take the lead and initiate things. "It is traditional, and since our culture and society has made that the status quo, and why would women risk rejection when they can let all the men come to them? They can get away with doing nothing, so of course they are going to get away with it". Is this a reason why women don't take the initiative that often?

In a way, I don't blame women for wanting the man to take the initiative and ask them out, because it's better to be the person doing the rejecting instead of being the one receiving rejection, is that a reason why women don't ask men out and pursue them?
Let's say it had traditionally been the other way around, women doing the pursuing and asking men out, taking the initiative, would us men want that tradition to change? Most likely no, because it's better to do the rejecting instead of receiving it.
Also, does the unfair double-standard stop women from approaching men and asking men out on dates? The standard that says it is okay for men to sleep around, but not okay for women? Is that another reason why?
Since it has been that way for a long time, the man always or for the most part, doing the pursuing, taking the initiative and asking a woman out, do you think women rather never no what would happen with a situation then be rejected? Is that a reason?
Are there any other reasons why women very rarely approach men and initiate conversation, and ask men out on dates? or have I basically already answered my own question? Do I have valid points why?
Is there anything wrong with a woman approaching a man, pursuing him and initiating a date and relationship with him? I see nothing wrong at all.
Seriously, who started the tradition, and who made it the status quo that the guy is usually the one to take the initiative, make the first move and start a conversation, and ask the girl out, overall, initiate the date and relationship?
Was it Religion, Politics, etc.?


Most Helpful Guy

  • They don't take the initiative either because it's easier and/or they like men who have the courage and confidence to make an approach. Those two traits, especially confidence are irresistible to women.

    However, I also find it disturbing how women do NOT initiate or rarely do. Since we're living in a post-industrial, 'democratic' society in which social liberal ideals like feminism came about, we should see a greater variety of actions come out from women and not just in regards to job opportunities. If they want to measure up to a true level of equality then they should take more initiative in social situations more often. I'm disgusted with double-standards that are often overlooked in this 'society' and are never given they attention they deserve.

    Also, if you really want women to approach you, maybe you should look at yourself. Be more presentable and I'm not just talking about your appearance and how you dress, but your body language. Make yourself look more receptive and I'm sure that the girls will read it and may take the initiative.


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What Girls Said 3

  • yeah a lot of girls do! it´s weird in my opinion, that so many girls don´t see the little sweet things a guy does, from opening the door for you, to the way he looks when you just woke up ;)

    • Yeah, so you see nothing wrong with girls taking the initiative, pursuing a guy, making the moves on him and asking him out? Because I see nothing wrong with it at all, I love a confident woman.

  • Uhm...I almost always am the one that makes the first move and asks someone out... that's how I got my current bf^^

    • Well I am proud of you, I wish there were more women like you, I believe both genders should go after what they want.

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    • I think some guys will more easely take you for granted, but I don;t think they don't take you srsly ;) yeah, I think evryone focusses on their own 'flaws', guys and girls

    • And do you think it is the same with girls? some girls will take the guy for granted as well? I wish more girls would ask the guy out.

  • well I will starta convo with a boy I like once in a while which makes it rare =) nD I knwo 4 me that I would never ask a boy out because in some ways that makes a girl needy 2 ask a boy out and 4 me the way I c it is if a boy does not ask me out after I known him for a quite a while there will never b any flair with us


What Guys Said 2

  • It used to bother me a bit that women rarely make the first move, flirt first, initiate conversation, ask a man out etc. However, I eventually realized that there are reasons for this that have to do with the way women are wired as females and to some extent the things they learn from society. First of all, women by nature are nurturers and care givers and are less agressive than men. It stands to reason that the more agressive and dominant sex will usually be the one doing the pursuing. Men on the hand are hunters and it's in their nature going back thousands of years to pursue and catch things. Also, women are looking for signs of the alpha male and dominance. They judge a man by the way he approaches and if he approaches at all. Approaching a woman shows courage and confidence which are both traits that women find attractive. That won't guarantee he'll get the girl but if he does it puts him ahead of all the guys who wait to be fixed up ,rely on the internet or wait for a woman to make the first move. If the woman likes the way the man approaches her and likes his game then she may decide to act interested. I used to think this way of thinking is old fashioned or outdated but the reality is it's human nature. Men have the physical power and women have the sexual power. This is why women can much more easily make money off of their looks and bodies than men can. This has been the case for centuries and it's not about to change. Guys who prefer to wine and complain need to be a man and just go for it. Who cares if she says no. You're the prize so she just lost the prize.

  • It's evolution really. It's entirely possible that there was a rivaling human society that relied on girls having the balls to ask guys out and they just went extinct.

    • There's actually a number of societies in the world in which the women actually initiate everything with men. One of them is in western China, I forgot their name.

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    • The Males. What if Females took the initiative, would it be different now?

    • The way I see it is this. Even if a woman did approach me and I'm not saying that is out of the question or could never happen chances are I wouldn't be interested in her anyway. There's been a few women who have made the first move and most of the time it didn't go anywhere or they weren't my type or both.

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