This is something I would generally ignore, but his behavior towards me is effecting my husband's friendship with him, esp since he is now our neighbor. When my husband is away he would call me up all the time and want to hang out just the two of us. We have spent whole days together and at 1st I thought.AWESOME! I get along well with my husband's friend. Then out of nowhere he would pick stupid silly fights with me. This behavior was happening often and I thought he hated me for awhile. Then a couple female friends said they think he is attracted to me, but is trying to hide it. My husband says "he might be, but why would he? He knows you're married to me." Too embarrassed to ask my male friends as they are mostly his friends too. When he is picking fights with me, he gets really cruel and puts me to tears (our other male friends have snapped at him over it) and when he is being nice it is over the top nice like making me dinner or buying me concert tickets and he is always nice like that when my husband is NOT around! I just want us all to get along! So from an outside male perspective what, if anything, can I do to stop this confusing behavior and still keep all the friendships intact?
You will have to tell it to him straight what you think is going on and then tell him to stop, like no bullshit pc stuff. It might make the friendship awkward for a while but he will get over it in time, Just as long as you make it very clear that you don't want this kinda behavior/relationship. If you can get it through to him first time and not have to talk about it ever again, it will really help in the process of getting your friendship back to what it should be: a friendship.
This really worked. I basically just swore at him over it, which I have never raised my voice at all to him. I think he was more surprised that I yelled at him and just said, "ok" and looked afraid. Which, since he is my friend, I felt badly over, but it sure shut him right down! He even has a new GF. WOOHOO! - 5 months ago
Why are you even wanting to maintain the friendship? Your husband above all should be your priority. if this guy is crushing on you.then just drop him. it's not worth having somebody like this around who may betray your trust and that of your husband.