How do guys know they are handsome?

Some guys say, "I'm really handsome/good-looking, if only I could get better with talking to girls or making moves..."

How do you know you're good-looking? Even though I've been told that I am from time to time, girls don't seem very interested from just looking at me.

Thanks to everybody for the responses, I read and appreciate every single one. Always room for more opinions and commentary.
Background: I've been told I'm good looking or "cute" a handful of times in my life...but ONLY a handful of times. I'm usually passed up for other guys with a bigger personality. Girls just don't like me that much. Then again, I don't get out much...

What's Your Opinion?


What Girls Said 14

What Guys Said 26

  • Maybe you are looking at the wrong girls? Who cares what the wrong ones think? When you come across that someone special she will think not only that you are handsome, but her world. Be confident, without being cocky and be sure of yourself, without being hung up on looks.

  • I think being well rounded makes a guy handome.. if that makes sense.. guys can be attractive who are hot but to be handome having world knowledge, skills, and other things are the main differences for me..

  • If a girl tells you that you are handsome you are really handsome.

  • If a girl tells you that you are handsome you are handsome.

    • Lol. This really isn't true.

  • it has nothing to do with being handsome it's all about the attitude.

  • if your told your good looking-handsom then you are...maybe you need to put yourself out there a little more to keep interest

    • Lol okay sure

    • You're either a liar or very ignorant.

  • Girls don't gawk at guys the way guys gawk at girls. I might look twice, but that's about it. I guess that there is really no way of knowing, but I go for muscular guys with no acne and a good sense of humor.

  • even though some guys may openly stare at a hot girl, girls generally don't do the same thing. Like if I see a hot guy I'll give him an up and down and maybe a smile. Or if you notice a group of girls all looking at you at once, you most likely were just the topic of the convo. My friends and I point out hot guys all the time to each other. we don't snicker or giggle cause we aren't 5 but we do let each other know. Also I might look at a hot guy without doing any kind of once over, so if you think no girls are checking you out and you're waiting for an up and down, you might be waiting forever.

    You'd have to be told because the whole getting checked out thing is harder for guys. Or if you someone who girls talk to a lot at parties and hang around you might be attractive physically.

    that's all I can think of to answer your question, sorry if it was no help.

    • Internet drag is a brilliant term for it though, LOL. I've NEVER heard that before.

    • 1. I am a woman. No "internet drag".

      2. Women can articulate just as well as men.

      3. And I'd kill to hear how I DIDN'T answer this question.

      4. Why so cynical?

    • This is not a woman this is a guy wearing internet drag.

      Women don't articulate this well about a subject.

      Then again, maybe it is because it really didn't answer his question.

  • It depends on several things, such as how observant you are of furtive looks, etc. Not getting a lot of looks could mean you're not much of a looker BUT it could also mean you are so good looking that people are shy/intimidated to approach you. Unless you have any obvious physical defects, I also find that womens' aesthetic preferences range quite widely from girl to girl. For example, my taste in men is completeley different from my roommate's. Ask an objective buddy who's not afraid to give you a piece of his/her mind.

    • I get look at all the time but rarely do they say anything.

  • you're handsome if you pass by a group of girls and they look/stare at you ( followed by whisper and laughter) :)

    • those that happen in real life?

    • Yea women wouldn't start talking to a stranger on the street...and some are too shy to flirt.

      if they don't stare at you its probably because they know its impolite. only guys stare you down like idiots and when you stare back they still won't look away :S

    • Or they're making fun of you

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  • well if you get a lot of female attention and winks and flirting your way in a situation where there are a lot of girls then you're a hot guy generally.

    if you think you have a fit body and nice features then you're a hot guy :)

    • this happenes to me all the time I always get stars.

    • Girls actually wink? I need to experience the world more lol

  • Looks really aren't everything in a relationship. Personality is very important, and girls really really appreciate a guy with a great personality.

    Personally, if there was an extremely attractive guy with a horrible personality I wouldn't want to date him, and I don't think many other girls would either.

    Then on the other hand, there is a not so attractive guy, with an amazing personality. The excellent personality just makes the guy so much more attractive than the one with the horrible personality.

    • Not nessecarily, I guess the guys that are just looking for a hook up don't care about personality, but a guy looking for a relationship does, and I think parts of a girls personality can be attractive.

      so I think in general girls are more attracted to personality than guys but not totally without a doubt

    • Do you think without a doubt, girls are attracted to personality more than guys are?

    • I agree , although personality so cliche, but parts of a guys personality can be a turn on to a girl and make them feel even more attracted to you

  • i think being handsome is more about your personality and the way you look. you know your handsome when a girl likes you for your looks, and love you for your personality. it makes you feel more confident when you know there's really something that makes the girls want you.

  • Sure looks are nice, but then again looks aren't everything. I think its the personality that is more important.

    • If only many girls have this attitude! (sigh) +1

  • Selected as most helpful

    Men- Care about how a woman looks

    Women- Care about feelings (..behind security / attraction / etc)

    1) Men know how attractive they are based on their own self-concept. If they view themselves as attractive, that's what they see. Someone else commenting that they are ugly or otherwise is basically disregarded like trash. The confident man (not cocky man) will know how he appears and always try to improve, but he is satisfied within who he is. (Which encompasses his looks / personality / depth / skill / etc)

    - He could judge his own physical appearance based on how he feels towards himself. Obviously a "fat kid" could say "i'm fat" - it's the same thing towards physical appearance- "I'm handsome".

    2) "Women don't seem to be interested" - There are several ways to influence this. First, how do you appear? The topic seems to regard a personal concern within this issue. Do you see any areas where you would like to target for improvement? Or do you notice there are things about your approach that you'd like to correct?

    - When you can "target" a specific area for improvement, do a little research about how to improve that area within yourself. For instance: Personal Looks? Join a gym or do home excersizes... Approach? Work on becoming outgoing or "practice practice practice"... Hygene? Make a daily routine to follow.


    There are always ways to improve any given method, it only takes a creative mind to find a way- search within yourself what you would like to target and provide a reasoning as to why- I may be able to guide you in the right direction.

    Best regards,


    • For the most part, you are right, us guys have to be verbally, emotionally, socially, mentally appealing to girls in order for them to like us. Girls just have to be visually appealing to us guys.


    Anyway, its all a personal thing.There's no set definition of good looking, so if a lad feels he's got the looks, who's to say he's wrong?

  • I have been told I'm a 10 by some women and others rate me at a 4. I thank them for their honesty but I don't hang around the women that rate me rather low.

    I am an information sponge and that helps when starting or continuing a conversation. If there is a convo I know nothing about, take the time to listen in and then you might be able to say something the next time.

    Confidence is a good quality to have. This goes along with thinking things into existence. If you feel that a girl is going to shoot you down before you ask her out, chances are she will somehow pickup on this. It could be body language or how you say things. Women can be very receptive to subtle things and are better at sensing when things are wrong.

    Honesty is the best policy but learn when to say what she wants to hear. I'm honest to a fault and thus why I wouldn't say I have many close friends. The truth can hurt and many people don't risk asking me what I think about things.

    Figure out what your best qualities are and run with it. I wouldn't dare challenge Michael Jordan in a one-on-one game of b-ball but I might challenge him in a strategy game.

  • Girls don't care how you look, they care about how you make them feel. If they feel a certain way depending on how you look then they are quite shallow if you ask me.

  • Wow this is terrible.

    you just can't trust womens advice or opinions.

    Heres why.


  • Perhaps, if you're learning that you get passed up for guys with bigger personalities, you should consider letting go of this "am I cute?" insecurity and start working on your personality?

    Women will notice you from across a room if you're cute, but she falls in love with your personality.

    ~ Robby

    • Great point.

      Personality isn't about being the loud dancing monkey that everyone looks at and laughs. It's about having your own opinions, preferences, and unique sense of the world. Express yourself without the need for approval and without trying to be "better" then everyone else.

      Being honest and sincere is what it's all about... without the fear that she might disagree or dislike your opinions... deep down she NEEDS you to be "yourself", not her lap dog. ;)

    • 'Big' personalities aren't always good, mind you. You can get a wanker who's just really in the scene. Plus a looot of girls dig quiet guys.

  • Well bro. yhuu havee 2 havv confidence inn yhurr self... Thatz all ihtt ihzz... I mean yhuu could bee thee ugliest guyy ever but iff yhuu give ihtt 100 percent ihtt wot matter if yhuu are handsome because at least 1 girl will fall for yhuu...

    • This is the scene, he's got it like.

  • With guys and girls it's mostly about your confidence and hygiene. You'll be good-looking to most if you have these.

  • when you start talking to an attractive girl...and you make them nervous..

  • Put your picture up on Hot or Not. That's what I did, and now I know.

  • guys don't "know" they're handsome. We play it off like we are and hope the girls follow along

  • Guys just know

  • I never say I'm "handsome". I sometimes rarely say I think I'm "cute" or what I like best about myself.

  • I know I'm handsome, because I can look at myself in the mirror and see nothing physically wrong with me. A month of working out and tanning and I'm all set. That and I am who I am and that's a guy who makes more money then most of your parents.


    • I don't like pale skin really... Also I DO make more money then most people on here. 75-85 thousand a year. Though I do spend A LOT of time working and not much time doing anything else... I've thought about quitting one of my jobs for some more free time, but I can't resist the money and I don't want to lose my safety net.

    • LOL setchecker67,you are a douche. Tanning really? Come on real men don't tan. You wish you make more money than most people, but the reality is you don't.

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  • every male on earth thinks he's good looking. there could be an old fat 50 y.o. with a combover who could look in the mirror and say "looking good."

  • Generally, if you are told you are handsome by men and women, then you are a pretty handsome guy. Also, if you get a nervous glance away when walking past a girl you are an intimidating good-looker.

  • i personally believe that girls are very complicated creatures who can sometimes be spoiled simple opinion would be this, " make sure that you set up your lifestyle." Make sure you know exactly what hobbies you like and pick a style of clothes that you believe goes with your personality...the reason is that the more you are into it, the more cofidence you seem to show...if you know for a fact that a certain lifestyle makes you feel like you the more comfortable you are with yourself and that reflects on how you interact with the world...dont try to be something you are not because that automatically makes you feel uncomfortable and that will show in your body language and gestures in the long run...oh yeah clean shoes and a nice fresh smelling cologne will enhance that style...whatever that may be...

  • They ask me.

  • If any woman besides your mom has said you were handsome, chances are you might be attractive. Take me for example I know I am good looking, I've been told this many times by many different women, and even some dudes. The only person that really matters on if she thinks I am or not is my gf, if she says I am well then I must be.

    Hot chicks aren't going to drop everything and run to you if your handsome, the only way they will do that is if your a celebrity. So does that mean dating is going to be a lot easier, nope not really, you can be handsome and as smart as a fence post and women aren't going to date you, so it really doesn't matter what you look like, so trying to get women based on looks alone isn't going to work, you gotta have more than that to offer.

  • To all the people who insisted that girls don't care about looks:

    That is not the point of this question. This is about what makes a guy handsome, not what makes girls attracted.

    I want to know this too, but man, stop answering every question with the same lines about confidence and self-esteem.

    • Lmao glad you liked my answer @ a_man

    • Yea and in spite of what those girls above said, looks DO matter for girls too..

    • @ heroine88, I am ur man. lol but for real

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  • Yeah people lie about my appearance too. If there's no evidence, it's probably not true. If a guy is good looking girls would be all over him.

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