I'm so scared of my ex boyfriend moving on to another girl.

[Anonymous]

I'm so scared of my ex boyfriend moving on to another girl. we were together for 3 years, and no matter if I break up with him or he breaks up with me it's something that is going to happen. he is going to move on at some point in time. even if I am with the greatest guy in the world and I love him entirely, ill still feel horrible knowing that my ex is with someone else. I wanted to be with him, and I still do, but I know he's not good for me. even knowing this, I'm afraid that he's going to be with someone else and treat her so much better than he ever treated me and be so in love and happy with her, when that's all I wanted for us. I don't know how to handle this, I cry so hard and end up shaky every time I think about it. and I can't not think about it. and even if I stop thinking about it, in the future I'm sure ill hear about him being with someone else regardless. I feel sick to my stomach, because I know he's going out to parties and I'm sure it won't be long before he finds someone new.

how am I supposed to cope with this?

[chrisie]

Hi. I am still currently on/off with my long term boyfriend who I have been with for 3 years. I have stuck with him through thick and thin. He has made many mistakes which have made me such a ill stressed person, really did not benefit me in any way.

He has lied to me about taking drugs, he has cheated on me and has met up with a lot of people behind my back which he never told me about or lied to me about.

All in all, the things he has done to me are ridiculous and this is clear to me. I always want to think that he has changed as he is now honest, doesn't drink, doesn't lie and doesn't see any other girls, we are always together.

I have changed as the things he has done have made me stronger. All the above has made me a stronger person and you should look at things that way too. If he gets with another girl, he is very likely to abuse her mentally or physically too.

At first, I was so drawn into him and our relationship that I never saw myself moving on. But the abuse has goven memotivation to think of a better future for me. to travel, to find inner peace with yourself, him, and what has happened to u.

I know right now you can Never imagine yourself move on. But before you know it, You Will meet someone who will treat you better, who will intirigue you and who you will admire and want to know. You will fall for someone new. You won't realize this at first and you won't want to, but he will grip u.

Only then, will you begin to realize that you Can be happy for your ex. Him being single, or not, or partying.

To be at peace with yourself,u shud just be happy for him, No matter what the situation. Just be happy you are not with him. This means you are not meant to be, andf that you are meant to be with someone else.

And this Will happen. You shud see this as Gppd Karma and the world' way of telling you that he is not the one, another person is and he will make you happy. You shud see this as you are now free, sorround yourself with good people, make the most of your life and make doors open for u.

t won't be easy, and it's not meant to be, but this willmake us tronger and help you learn and this is why life is o Exciting!

I'm at the point in my relationship where I am stronger and now he is getting weaker because I can stand up to him. I can be happy for him and care for him but know that if we end, it is or the best and that he is not the one. or who kows, until later.

I hope this Will help.

[kparman]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My boyfriend of 31/2 years also broke up with me over a stupid little fight that we have all the time. he said he wants to be close friends and he can't be with me anymore. It's been 5 months since the breakup and we've tried twice to 'get back together' when really all he wanted was a booty call. he wanted the physical part and the part where I still want him, but not commitment and strings. I've always wanted us to be happy and I'm scared to death he's gonna find someone new to give his love to and treat right since he's been treating me so bad these past 2 months. Just try not to think about it--nobody will ever replace what you two had and he'll always have you in the back of his mind no matter what. it's been a hard couple months to have the one you loved for so long do this to you I know, but there are so many other guys out there that will treat you better. go out, pamper yourself and have fun with the girls! if it was meant to be he'll come back and regret what he did...if he doesn't then he's stupid and doesn't deserve a girl like you. i;m slowly moving on and I'm becoming happier because I realized that I derserve a guy who WANTS to be with me through thick and thin

[chrisie]

jjjj

[Clair]

this has already happened to me, you just have to feel it

[Anonymous]

Can't have your cake and eat it too. This is why guys become neurotic. You women want everything. You want to be left alone, yet chased. You want to be treated well, yet really have something to always complain about. Us guys will never ever win. That's not even fair to do to him. If you're so concerned about him ending up with someone else, how about you get back together with him? I hope he does find someone good, who will appreciate him for who he is and all that he has to offer. As my happily married father of 30 years says- "why do guys die first? because they want to."

[Asker]

I think that's a horrible thing of your dad to say. If he really believes that, then I can't imagine him being happily married, because that implies the opposite. And no, we don't want everything. I do have a choice, yes. I can stay with him but that would mean that I would remain in an abusive relationship that escalated from emotional abuse to physical abuse with bruises on my thighs I have to cover up so my friends don't ask questions. Why didn't I leave before? Because whenever we broke up h

[Asker]

Because whenever we broke up he'd always promise he would be different, and because I love and care about him, and have invested over three years with him, I trusted that. But when it got physical, I had to make it stop. I do love him still, and I know that's hard for you to understand, and I do want our relationship to work more than anything. It won't work because of his actions, and I know that at some point he will be with someone else. I would never wish harm on anyone, but I get sad thinki

[Asker]

I would never wish harm on anyone, but I get sad thinking that perhaps if I was someone else (as in another girl) he wouldn't do those things. And I know mentally that this is the best for me, but emotionally I am so attached to him that I can't see reality, so I was hoping perhaps someone would share something that helped them cope with the thought of their ex moving on. But thank you for your attempt anyway.

[yannick]

His comment was insensitive and not true anyway, I'm a guy too and it does hurt like hell just thinking about my exes sleeping with another guy or having a new boyfriend, it's really painful and I know what you mean when you say you get shaky when thinking about it. So it's not about you having your cake and eating it too, it's you being able to love someone. It's painful but don't blame yourself, he is entirely to blame in this relationship. I think it's gonna hurt for a while but soon

[yannick]

Soon you will realize all his faults and how it's not worth it suffering for an ass. You could be suffering because a relationship didn't work out with a nice guy who genuinely cares about you and never does mistakes like physical abuse, and never as in NEVER EVER. Don't blame yourself, because it makes this harder for you, be aware that he is the person to blame and eventually, I think knowing he has a new girlfriend will still affect you but not that much, and you'll be able to live with it.

[beelovely16]

That was just plain rude. Now that's not a man's point of view, that's a wuss' point of view. Don't be a jerk dude. You must have gone through a break up to & are just hurting. So chill.