Why are women bad at communication?

Question

Okay, so I talk to women and men all the time, as per being a human and social. When I talk to men it's usually just straight-forward questions and answers, with logical precedents and conclusions when discussing things and short but to the point conversation in general. I like this.

With women it's just all over the damn place, with secret messages and bullsh*t thinking combined with poor logical thought and generally nonsensical argumentation or even just general conversation. They are random, they aren't to the point, they are verbose, and they say very little worth listening to.

Obviously these are my general experiences and I know females and males that defy these or are even opposite my view, but it puzzles me mainly because it's really difficult to talk to people who have no point, who have interest in generally superflurious things, and are almost so driven by bad thinking and media influence ( "Media" referring also to word-of-mouth A.K.A. girlfriends ) with bandwagon mentality that it's just... stupid.

It takes me twice as long to get something simple done with a woman than with a man. Now most say women are better communicators, but I think that's nuts, because when was the last time you really struggled with a guy to get something simple as hell across? No, I mean something that's actually valuable and tangible, like a process, not your emotional turmoil which is actually horribly complex.

Does anyone agree with me?

OutOfMyElement43 · Accepted Answer

I like you blunt, honest, and unafraid to say what's on your mind. I wouldn't go all the way to the point of saying women have poor communication skills. Women have poor male communication skills. Men are simple. Men want a general overview, not a detailed picture. We don't care about the details, just give us the important points.

I'll give you ladies an example: sit at a table with four are five guys watching a game. On the television, there are two guys talking about the game. One is the play-by-play guy; the other guy is the color commentator. The play-by-play guy we can tolerate. When we get up to take a p*ss, he feeds us information about what's happening on the field.

The color commentator we despise. I think the networks invented the color commentator; so, men would have something to hate more than commercials. Count how many times we call the color commentator a douche bag. We don't care about the second string offensive guard who works with deaf children. I mean we care, just not while we're watching the game.

Women love details; men hate details. Women remember everything. Men have selective memories; at best, sometimes we just make up the memories as a "filler." We don't care what "actually happened" we just know that it happened, and the only purpose in even knowing that it happened is that there was "reason" it happened. Facts and reasons are all we care about. We will make up the filler if that's what it takes.

Don't over analyze us; because, it confuses the hell out men. No, We Really Have No Clue What We Did To Piss You Off. You know what we did. You think we know what we did, but we have no clue what you're talking about. It was probably something we did three weeks ago. I know you were really hurt by whatever I did, but I'm asking myself: "why the hell is she bitching at me?"

I don't remember tying my shoes this morning. The FACT is my shoes are tied. The REASON I know tied them this morning; the FACT they are tied. FACTS and REASONS, That's all we want to know. They could have come untied during the day, but I can't remember. The only thing I care about is: "My Shoes Are Tied."

I don't remember ever calling the color commentator a douche bag. However, if one of my ex girlfriends started dating the color commentator, she could tell him what I called him, and give him the time and date of when I called him that. Why the hell do you think we have rules about our friends dating our ex girlfriends? It's not the ex girlfriend; it's what we've told the ex girlfriend.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Men are confusing as well...

marshamarsha · Accepted Answer

I don't agree that women are bad at communicating, nor are men, although I do know what you're talking about. It has nothing to do with being logical or illogical, but rather involves your perceived experience of the given "illogical" conversation or behavior. I believe it's because men and women experience different situations and learn in different conditions which contributes to the way they understand and relate to other differently. As the other male commented, men do seem to focus more on facts and order during conversation. They like to be direct, clear, and to the point of the matter. And when actually going into detail telling a story, it usually has more of a climactic or comedic element to it. On the other hand, women tend to place an emphasis on the feelings, emotions, and details of her discussion, whether seemingly pointless or not. So as she's telling you her point of view perhaps you just find it boring or can't relate to what she's actually trying to say, because you don't experience the same feelings. When I have conversations with guys or girls, I do find myself going on random tangents about some topic that seems unrelated to the main point of my story, yet I mention said points because they're connected to my story by having some influence on my decisions.

Perhaps you're referring to the tendency for women to get carried away in their emotions which may inhibit them from being as clear as you wish we could be. Sure, sometimes we dwell on our feelings that usually influences our behavior, but what's wrong with that? Sometimes I enjoy being indecisive when debating or arguing against others' point of view, male or female, but I believe it mostly has to do with the fact that I'm taking my feelings into consideration and trying to empathize with each side to better understand. Things aren't always as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Maybe I'm not being as clear as you wanted a woman's answer to be (haha ironic?), but hey, that's life. Sometimes I don't understand why men prefer to get straight to the point when life consists of ups and downs and especially all that's in between. I think the little things in life are what matter most, and if that means sounding illogical or nonsensical, then oh well, because they are definitely worth listening to.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Women are not bad at communication. Perhaps majority of women are bad at communicating WITH MEN. Likewise men are bad at communicating with women, It requires work on both ends.

What you are deeming nonsensical and illogical could be an open invitation for you to be more open-minded about the way you think. One think I have learned about most guys, is that they see everything as black or white, yes or no. I think most women would immediately say there is a "grey area" or "a maybe" depending on the circumstances. So to answer a question you may think is yes or no, a woman will tell you why it might be maybe or both yes and no, but you do not want to hear it so to you it seems illogical.

And getting my emotions across to a man or getting him to understand why I did not agree with what he did, while being as calm and collected as heck, is by far one of the most difficult things I have had to do. To me, it was simple, but he didn't get it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You know I had read many of your answers and thought you seemed smart and funny but I have to say I have lost all respect for you.  I am not sure what type of women you are talking to that can't seem to get a simple request done but I talk to both men and women all day with my job and don't find one gender over the other to be more difficult to talk to or have a conversation with.  Now in both genders there are people who don't make a lick of sense and can't seem to follow simple instruction but to generalize your poor experiences into one group of people is just wrong you seem smarter than that.  But don't worry I won't generalize this experience into thinking all young black guys are male chauvinistic pigs.

swanwhite · Answer

I think it is because they are wired to communicate everything like setting up a landmine. If it won't explode now, it gives them plausible deniability that they were responsible for something, later. They could simply say 'I told you so' and gaslight the other person.

It is also to do with upbringing on women, which is very similar across cultures. It is very obvious on social media how women keep ganging up on men about 'how men do not understand non-verbal clues', which is absolute horseshit because, hey, there is no unique non-verbal clue about that engagement ring you saw and the one you had on your finger is not to your taste anymore. The only message of the non-verbal communication is about disappointment which you obviously do not want to speak about it. The reason they do not speak up that x, y, z is the problem (that ring for instance) is because they are problems they created and they are responsible for it. In this case, comparing your own ring with another woman's ring, making a man responsible for your own insecurity is the real problem. Women unanimously through their gender do not want to take accountability for their overthinking, insecurity or their emotional misdemeanours.

Majority of divorces are filed by women for this very good reason, so please suffer in peace. Most feminist women who talk garbage about equality really fail to address the very communication issues that prevent women on the same pedestal as men. Because, handling proper communication also means taking accountability for your actions and thoughts.

Littletad · Answer

Men and women are different. You can't change that. Men are just as bad at communicating as well. We are blunt, and to the point. Women like the subtle things. If you realize that, you should be able to LEARN how to communicate better with the opposite sex.

ALWAYSclassy · Answer

so because they are different from you, they are wrong and illogical? why don't you just date men? then you don't have to worry about how we say nothing worth listening to!

Cool-Relax · Answer

You could've saved time if you simply said that you think women are idiots. It seems more like you have a negative view of women rather than realistic observations.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a girl and I agree! I'm AWFUL at communicating!  I NEVER directly say how I feel and what I want(Probably why the guy I like doesn't even acknowledge me.)  You see, us girls expect you guys to understand all the hints and tips we throw at you, which is unfair. We do this because we want something (You to ask us out, your phone number, ect, ect.) however we're too afraid to ask so we hint around and wait for you to ask. At least that's what I do...and it's got me nowhere. Also we think differently, so we communicate differently. When we start rambling, there is a meaning to what we're saying, it's just hidden and we expect you to find it.

Scorpian · Answer

It's simple science...guys speak logically: Who what where when why...girls speak emotionally: WHY!?

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