My ex refuses to be my friend, what should I do?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, and a year ago we got engaged. I recently decided he was not the right one for me, so I broke up with him. I offered him friendship and he refused it. Since we broke up he has refused to talk to me, and he ignores me completely. He wasn't only my fiancé and my love but he was also my best friend, I miss him and I want us to continue on being friends. What should I do?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Although you felt he wasn't right for you he might have felt differently, he probably felt you were right for him, I was in a similar but different situation and I couldn't be friends because I still felt that she was the one for me. It also could be that he's still attracted to you and would be unable to be "just friends" and always want more. It seems that he's still hurting so he might not want to talk to you for a long time, it's been a year since I talked to my ex and I still have no desire to be friends or talk to her at all.
What Guys Said 3
its gonna be hard being friends with him. and he might not talk to you because he's always going to want to see you as the love of his life. why should he settle for friendship when you didn't want a future with him. you're not wrong in voicing your opinion. but you should try to figure out what the problem is and let him know why.
I would tell you to let him be. He needs time and he needs answers. Just don't go and hook up with anyone else during this time. That'll hurt him even more.
All I can think of is give it time. It is very likely he'll not speak with you for a very very long time, if not forever. What you did to him probably hurt him in ways you can't even begin to imagine. You hurt his love, and his pride, by calling off the wedding AND the relationship. It's natural he's going to be extremely upset with you.
Give him space and hope for the best is all I can think of.
What Girls Said 3
friendship is not a right, it's a privilege. you can't have your cake and eat it too. I highly doubt that he'll talk to you for a good while if at all. so you need to be extra understanding about why he's reacting the way he is because you were the one who dumped him after 5 years of being together and being engaged for a yr. put yourself in his shoes for a second and just try to imagine how he might be feeling. how would you feel if he was the one who dumped you in similar circumstances?
sounds like you just have to deal with it. YOU broke up with him, and you can't have it both ways. a break up is a break up. SOMETIMES things work out and you can be friends later, but in a relationship where you were ENGAGED, that seems doubtful, and especially since you were the one to call it quits, you're just going to have to let it go. of COURSE he refused friendship. you broke his heart and he's not ready! that's completely understandable. there's pretty much no way you can continue to be best friends - probably not friends at all, so you're going to have to let it go.you can't have your cake and eat it too.