My ex texted me after breaking up for one week, what does he want?

[pinkyfairy]

It is been one week that we didn't talk to each other after he broke up with me,the day I left,he said we should not contact each other for one week to clear our mind,he already tried to break up with me a few times since the beginning of June,but I didn't agree and he still liked me,so we were still kind of together until he finally made up his mind to stop one week ago..

He's made it so clear that there wouldn't be any possibility for us in the future and that he won't ever fall in love with me again...so I think he told me to stay out of touch for one week was just a way to keep me away from his life and leave him alone for a while...

One week after,he finally contacted me again,but the text message was so simple,just "hi" and a smiley, I don't really know if I should reply even if all my friends told me not to,personally,I think he just wanted to make it clear again that it is done between us,and wanted to know if I am okay even if he knows that I am not..

Should I just ignore him?I really don't want to be hurt more and one more time especially I am finally moving on...but on the other hand,I don't want him to think that I am rude or don't want to be friends(he should know that I am not ready for that yet) What should I do? Please help!

Updates

+1 y

Finally,I didn't listen to my friend and sent him back a message "hi",now I am feeling terrible because I can't wait to think when he will reply and what he will say...it doesn't help at all keeping in touch...why is he so selfish to just care what he wants(he wants to keep in touch) and ignore how I feel?

[CrystalMinds]

Best is if you ignore him for a while, even if you see him, just a simple "hi", wave and leave.

The whole "we can still be friends" after a break up is such bullsh*t. Yes, it's possible, when the feelings of love and hate and wanting revenge are gone. You still have feelings for him, which is totally normal, so I don't think it's a good idea to start texting again.

Tell him you still need some time and that it's harder for you than for him to be friends again. He should respect your decision, just as you had to respect his decision of ending the relationship.

You don't need to text him back just because it's friendly, who cares about being friendly now? Just listen to what you feel and what you feel you can handle. If you can handle texting him, okay, go ahead and text him. If you still feel butterflies when he responds to your texts, I'd quit texting for a while if I were you.

A couple of days/weeks with no contact at all could be a (big) help to get over someone.

I wish you the best of luck!

[CrystalMinds]

Oh, and to your question "what does he want?" he might wanna make it clear to you that he wants to be friends and, like you already said, to check if you're still okay with him and on speaking terms.

[pinkyfairy]

Thanks,this is so clear,but I was stupid enough to text him back,he is really mean to me now(from the end of the relationship till now),just because I texted him back one day after,so he is not going to write me back the same day and keep me wait! what kind of guy he is? I start to feel that I don't know him at all..

[CrystalMinds]

What kind of guy he is? A jerk who's not worthy of your time right now ;)

I think it's best if you leave him alone for a while and ignore his texts, no matter what he says or how sweet he can become after a while

[pinkyfairy]

LOL,your right,I should just ignore him,I was moving on quickly before he texted me now,but now it makes me see ever clear how he is,I should be glad that he dumped me!

[CrystalMinds]

You deserve a guy who treats you well, is nice to you and loves you for who you are. A guy broke up with me a while ago and the weeks after that I just said "hi" when I saw him and I went on, it was him who kept on talking to me and kept hanging around me at the places I went.

Just be friendly when you see him, and when you get over him you can tell him you're ready to be friends. There's this guy and we could be friends after 4 years since we broke up, he was just too much of an a**hole then.

[pinkyfairy]

So the guy who broke up with you was trying to get you back or what? since I've written him back yesterday,I've been told by all of my friends how stupid I was to have done that,so I am not gonna text him back if he ever replies..I don't think I will ever see him again,so it won't be a problem at all,the only thing I can't do is to remove him from my contact..

[CrystalMinds]

Nah, he wanted to be friends but I didn't feel like it so I ignored him. Texting him back wasn't stupid! You were driven by emotions, it wasn't the smartest move but it wasn't stupid. I just think the best idea is to ignore his texts or tell him you need more time and you're not ready to be friends yet.

[pinkyfairy]

But I never understood why guys want to be friends after dumping the girl,it is not fair at all

[CrystalMinds]

Well, most of the time people (not just guys) say that to let the "dumpee" know there's nothing wrong with them but the romantic feelings just faded. That they still want you in their life

[pinkyfairy]

Maybe the dumpee did something wrong in the relationship but I think in most cases are because the feelings just fade away,if two people are really in love,one who makes mistakes can be normally forgiven..

[CrystalMinds]

Depends on how big the love is...

[Lett0385]

I don't think you should reply, specially if you still have feeling for him, you don't want to get you hopes up and specially you don't want to let him hurt you again. My suggestion is to remain strong and to always remember how valuable you are.

This is not the first time he mention wanting to break up with you and you deserve to be with someone who's feelings are strong for you and who will never leave you even when arguing

[012Girls]

I think you should just ignore him. Since you are already moving on. I totally understand what you are saying. Since your friends say not to text him back I wouldnt. I do think its stupid how he doesn't want any contact with you and just a week later he texts you. wow. haha. Maybe he stil has feelings for you. I hope that somewhat helps :) See you later(:

[pinkyfairy]

He still likes me but doesn't love me,so he said he still cared about me,but it is just so selfish to do that,of course he doesn't mind bcoz he doesn't feel pain,he dumped me!

[012Girls]

Do you still have feelings for him?

[pinkyfairy]

I didn't want to break up,because I was still so in love with him,but during this week,I started to look back and realized he wasn't really nice to me and I was just so blind,but yeah,I still have feelings for him and still think of him everyday,but I am moving on already

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me. Then started contacting after a week saying things like" that I was toxic and that she was addicted to me" after this she requested that I never contact her again! I didn't like the idea of not speaking with her. She was my best friend, but I felt like I could only respect her wishes no matter how much pain it was causing me in hopes that the pain would suside. Anyways a week after no contact again she messaged me asking" if I was still alive" and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to respond or not? I ended up responding right away saying " yes I'm still alive" "missing you terribly though " and things like that. What can I expect to happen if this path continues

[2much]

just ignore him

the story is over just move on and don't think about if you are rude to not answer to his text

you answer to it you give him a chance to bother you

[pinkyfairy]

but why would he bother me when he doesn't want to be bothered? all he did was to keep me away before

[Anonymous]

Hun, I just got dumped too,and same situation like you ,Dont give him a chance to hurt you more

, If you are fine to move on , He is so selfish that just think of himself, I would say don't reply him

he will mess your life !

[pinkyfairy]

Did you ex contact you too?

I was first thinking the same,but then I've really seen how stupid I was to waste my time with a guy like him..so I won't ever let it happen

[normalice]

you should reply saying you need space for a little while. Tell him that you will contact him when you are ready for a friendship.

[pinkyfairy]

he should know it because he knew I was still in love when he dumped me!

[normalice]

guys do not know these things by default. We must be told: but you can not be too emotional when you tell him or his instincts to pay closer attention to you will kick it. Text him back, but keep your response very short and to the point. Do not add any emotional explanation. If he asks why you need distance, you can tell him bluntly 'because I'm not fully over you yet.' then repeat your condition that you will contact him when you are ready; you may add that you will ignore his texts until then

[pinkyfairy]

that makes sense,but isn't it better to just ignore him? I really don't know what to do..i don't want to make him think that I am being rude..i know he would definitely ask how I am doing if I reply...but it is really stupid when he knows I am not fine at all..my friends told me to ignore him..which is best?

[normalice]

if you ignore him, he will think you are being rude. He does not know you are not fine - men do not possess that kind of intuition. If you tell him you are not doing fine, he won't even understand why. We are weird creatures in that way...

I do think the safest bet is to respond telling him you need more time and ask him not to contact you until you contact him.

[pinkyfairy]

It is funny how men and women think differently..all my girl friends told me to ignore him..I really want to because he was really mean to me at the end,but I still don't want him to think that I am rude because I am not,just because I don't want to be hurt again.

[martyfellow]

I'd just reply with an emoticon as well..maybe not a smiley one though!

[martyfellow]

Update: Yes, that's the point; if doesn't care about your feelings, then be just as cold toward him!

[honeyltsme]

he wants to be friends with benefits