Why don't guys want to date women their own age?

Can anyone help me understand why the majority of guys over the age of 45 seem to only want to consider dating women at least 10-20 years younger than they are? I'm 49 (and told I look younger) and just getting back into dating after a long relationship but I don't want to date guys 10-20 years older than I am.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm 57 and haven't dated or been with a woman since my marriage broke up over 6 years ago. Why? Honestly, I am not attracted to women my own age, many times I actually feel quite repulsed by them - in fact a lot of women in my area even 6 or 7 years younger than me aren't so attractive to me either.

    You want honesty - here goes - get ready... To me, they all look so old and worn out (I know I'm no spring chicken myself) but they tend to remind my of my Mom's friends in appearance and holding even simple conversations with them, when you've got romance on your mind, just wind up being boring, but polite and actually pretty pitiful. Sorry, I know that they might all be nice women as people, but to date... NO THANKS.

    II find myself only attracted to women from their mid 20's (perhaps even younger) to maybe 45 years old. And, I know and have seen first hand that women at those ages find guys at my age quite repugnant and mostly creepy (I hate that word). Another of life's big lies - young women dig older men. BS!

    Actually I find this sad not only for guys like me, but for the young ladies, because I know that I've greatly improved with age and have a lot to offer a young woman with many many qualities and aspects no younger guy could ever fill. So, its sad because we both lose out.

    It's to the point (has been for several years now) where I've just stopped trying and am not even thinking of dating. Frankly, I'd rather be alone (and much happier) than be relegated to date or be with someone society tells me I should be with or date.

    BTW, I have no problems relating to, understanding or even having conversations with the younger ladies. Some even think I'm cute... but unfortunately in that "isn't that old dude sweet" just like a puppy way.

    I've pretty much accepted (and have made peace with) that my time for romance has long passed me... and I'm fine with that.

    So OK ladies - let the flaming begin... tell me how big a POS I am... and that I deserve to be alone... or that I'm some kind of pervert. But, you wanted truth - that's my truth. Warts n' all.

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      Wow! So as a man you're automatically better with age, but women just "wear out" and have nothing that experience offers. I'm sure the young females are totally missing out on you. Such a shame, with so much to offer. That said, most PEOPLE, men and women alike just let themselves go after 40 and I get why those of us who make an effort, stay in shape and keep active are repulsed by their fat bodies and sedentary lifestyle. I'm a 40 year old woman, in great shape, run at least two marathons a year. 5'4" and 117 lbs, size 0 (for real). All I want is a guy around my age who is in reasonably good shape and still takes pride in his appearance. They are not to be had it seems, so I end up going younger. Physical appearances shouldn't count, but they do, for men and women. I don't think it's unfair for men to complain about their aging, sloppy counterparts, but I do think it's unfair to assume ALL women their own age fall into that category or are automatically uglier than the 20 somethings.

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      @phoebes1975 this question is more than half a year old, you're somewhat late with the flame.