Why don't guys want to date women their own age?

Can anyone help me understand why the majority of guys over the age of 45 seem to only want to consider dating women at least 10-20 years younger than they are? I'm 49 (and told I look younger) and just getting back into dating after a long relationship but I don't want to date guys 10-20 years older than I am.


What's Your Opinion?


Most Helpful Opinion

  • I'm 57 and haven't dated or been with a woman since my marriage broke up over 6 years ago. Why? Honestly, I am not attracted to women my own age, many times I actually feel quite repulsed by them - in fact a lot of women in my area even 6 or 7 years younger than me aren't so attractive to me either. You want honesty - here goes - get ready... To me, they all look so old and worn out (I know I'm no spring chicken myself) but they tend to remind my of my Mom's friends in appearance and holding even simple conversations with them, when you've got romance on your mind, just wind up being boring, but polite and actually pretty pitiful. Sorry, I know that they might all be nice women as people, but to date... NO THANKS. II find myself only attracted to women from their mid 20's (perhaps even younger) to maybe 45 years old. And, I know and have seen first hand that women at those ages find guys at my age quite repugnant and mostly creepy (I hate that word). Another of life's big lies - young women dig older men. BS! Actually I find this sad not only for guys like me, but for the young ladies, because I know that I've greatly improved with age and have a lot to offer a young woman with many many qualities and aspects no younger guy could ever fill. So, its sad because we both lose out.It's to the point (has been for several years now) where I've just stopped trying and am not even thinking of dating. Frankly, I'd rather be alone (and much happier) than be relegated to date or be with someone society tells me I should be with or date. BTW, I have no problems relating to, understanding or even having conversations with the younger ladies. Some even think I'm cute... but unfortunately in that "isn't that old dude sweet" just like a puppy way.I've pretty much accepted (and have made peace with) that my time for romance has long passed me... and I'm fine with that.So OK ladies - let the flaming begin... tell me how big a POS I am... and that I deserve to be alone... or that I'm some kind of pervert. But, you wanted truth - that's my truth. Warts n' all.

What Guys Said 1

  • I used to work in the nursing field, and the average age there at the time was 42. I worked with hundreds of female nurses, as I floated to different hospitals and departments daily; out of all those women I saw, I can literally remember 2 women that were in their 40's that looked in great shape. And by no means were they thin, they had some extra weight, but they looked nice. The rest of the women were obese, and had such a negative attitude, that once, a 40 something year old good looking nurse was hired, and in 2 weeks she had to quit because these fat nurses were so jealous, they sabotaged her on each shift. I didn't believe it till I saw it. So I think most guys tend to agree that the older women get, the worst they look; however, in my travels in europe, the older women were incredible because somehow they manage to stay in great shape, and they don't dress like moms! :)

    • I see your point - men don't want to date their moms - but evidently many men haven't looked into a mirror lately. Good advice though-for men and women-to be healthy and fit, attractive,relevant and interesting no matter what age we are.

    • I agree with the comment about European women. My girlfriend is from Finland, and just turned 45. She looks 35.

What Girls Said 1

  • It's simple. they don't like the bodies of women their ages. Men seem to not care to have real conversations with women their own ages. They don't want to be reminded of their age. they want to feel younger. I'm 35, attractive, 5'6 size 6 , I look max 27 yrs old. but 35 yr old men don't date 35 yr old women. It starts in the 30's and continues to the 60's. You have to think the other way, date younger not older. 39 in 'Men age' is the same as 49. Just don't talk about age. Don't limit yourself.